ℍ𝔼𝔸ℝ𝕋 𝕆𝔽 𝕍𝕀𝔹ℝ𝔸ℕ𝕀𝕌𝕄

   for a moment he wishes she would have gone out and after the baron like the rest of them did. would have saved him the trouble of this very .. painful and uncomfortable conversation, which doesn’t even put weight on anything he and sam had done up until this point. the whole zemo thing – that was on him, though. bucky can’t even rope his co-worker into it, considering he’d gone behind his back, only bringing the whole ordeal up when it was already too late and zemo was out. 

  so really, what choice did sam have in this, anyway? the trust he put in him was already more than bucky deserved, so if he couldn’t come forth  to sam right off the bat, what of a chance did he have the wakandans would have thought any differently? would have been worse, if anything. “ you wouldn’t have let me, even if i told you. “ and that’s just a fact. him, wanting to get the guy who had murdered their king out of prison like that? the brunet is very doubtful that would have gone down well. nevermind all of the bullshit zemo had done afterward.  “ or am i wrong ? “ ayo had already damned him, clearly less than pleased with anything he’d done. he’s lucky he was given those 48 hours, even, figuring they didn’t have the patience for that. not when it came to something that so deeply connected to them as well.

  bucky exhales a sigh after that, shoulders shrugging as she brings up impulsivity. because that’s what it was, anyway. an impulsive decision – a hunch – that proved to be a good one in the end, considering they were further along in this thing than they were without zemo, but even then … it’s no excuse that would make what he did any better. he pushes himself off the counter once she’s done, bringing the pot of coffee along, a peace offering – unable to help the laugh that bubbles out at the comment. “ i’m surprised she hadn’t already gone through with that. “ he wouldn’t have put it past her, honestly, with how the fight had gone. luckily it only cost him an arm and his dignity, but alas. at least walker got what he deserved. 

  “ yeah. that was fun. guy needs to get kicked off his high horse. “  his distaste is clear with the tone he uses as he sits down, eager to dig into the eggs. “ thanks, by the way. for uh. breakfast. “ and he sounds more awkward than he usually would have around her, but then again .. a lot of time had passed since he’d last seen her. 

　　　　Aida  had  to  stop  and  think at  his  rhetorical question,  cause  she  had  no  idea.  Wakandans did  take  pride  and  justice more  seriously  than  any  other  human  or  intergalactic  being  she’d  ever  met,  yet Aida  also  felt  like  there  was  more  than  that  at  stake. She  would  have  helped,  if  she’d  had  the  chance to  do  just  that.  Give  time,  maybe  Ayo  would  have  considered getting  Zemo  out  if  world  safety  was  at  hand.  After  Thanos had  come  to  Earth  and  destroyed  their  reality,  Wakanda had  long  stopped being  the  secretive and  isolated  country it  once  was,  yet  time  wasn’t  a  luxury  Bucky  had  at  the  time.  The  Flagsmashers moved  too  fast  in  their  revolution,  she  understood  that  much.  At  least  the  White  Wolf  had  come  up  with  a  plan  just  as  fast,  no  matter  how  it  had  blown  up.  

　　　　«  I  believe  she  enjoyed  herself a  lot  more  by  kicking your  ass  in  front  of  your  American pal.  »  She  teased  with  a  smirk  to  try  and  reframe a  scene  that  hadn’t  been  enjoyable  in the  least.  Not  even  to  watch  from  afar,  as  Aida  had  done  while  fighting  Walker and  Lamar,  Ayo  damning  him  and  using  the  fail  safe  on  his  arm  something  that  had  made  a  shiver also  run  through her  spine.  Just  because  Ayo  had  once  been  her  mentor,  though, it  didn’t  mean  that  Aida  shared  her  use  of  words  or  gestures.  Thankfully she  was  her  own  person, and  she  took  the  pot  of  coffee with  no  heavy  heart  as  that  conversation had  at  least  remove  that  feeling  from  the  equation. Awkwardness  remained,  she  could  tell,  yet  now  that  they  were  alone  Aida  didn’t hate  it  that  much.  

　　　　«  Anytime. »  As  she  took  a  bite  from  the  eggs  and  sipped her  coffee,  she  wasn’t  hiding the  way  her  eyes  were  wandering  on  the  guy,  that  was  probably  the  first  full  glance  she’d  taken  of  him  since  meeting  after  years  of  being  apart. «  I  like  your  hair  like  that.  »  She  missed  it  long  as  she  remembered how  it  felt  to  run  fingers  through them  during  very specific  moments,  yet  somehow  he  looked  more  like  himself now.  More  like  a  soldier.  «  I’ve  heard  you  got  pardoned  too,  how’s  that going?  »  

  it always comes down to this. a constant struggle of trying not to blame himself – something that had taken him so long to overcome and even then not in the best way, but he was starting to accept that – yes, it was him, but he had no choice in the matter. not anymore, however, it feels more like he’d regressed right back to where he started all those years ago. he doesn’t bother replying, figuring no amount of claiming he would try not to blame himself would actually make any difference in the matter. because it wouldn’t.

 aida seems adamant to prove him otherwise though, even with the bruised up neck and the wound that’s still oozing blood, offering the arm despite the fact that bucky had made it clear he doesn’t want it. not even want, it’s the fact that he would much prefer the appendage be returned when he’s sure there’s nothing left in his brain that would turn that into a deadly weapon. just like it had now.

 but then again – is that even possible? even now they had thought he was rid of the clutches hydra still held on him and all it took was one word. one word to break down years of healing and getting to somewhere bucky actually felt good to be.

 zemo’s not even an issue here – with how passionate about killing hurting the man aida is it might bring some reprieve, but mind is more worried about the fact that there’s something still in there. it had been zemo this time, it could end up being someone else the next. just a matter of time. a sigh leaves him as the arm is placed into place, regardless of whether or not he thought it .. a good idea to be – feeling the familiar click as it nerves connected and fist curled and uncurled a couple of times to re-adjust. should feel familiar, but right now it doesn’t quite.

 “ why not? “ tone takes on a slightly irritated tone at that point, as if he’s – angry, no frustrated that she had let him get this close to – “ i could have – no, i would have killed you. “ showing weakness like that was something for the soldier to exploit. he knows it. it’s mere luck her body reacted like it did and that the surge of electricity actually managed to snap him out of it. what if it hadn’t? another thing to add to the list, as if the guilt isn’t well enough ready to eat him up from the inside out.

 “ right. “ and sure, expression softens as she reassures him. tries to sound confident in telling him they’ll fix this. and not let someone take his freedom, but somehow it feels like it’s already been done. they’re way past that point already, aren’t they? “ ..  where do we go from here? “

　　　　«  Because that’s  not  how  it  works, okay?!  »  How  what  worked, exactly?  Her  mind  when  facing the  choice  between loyalty  to  a  friend  and  safety for  herself?  Or just  her  heart in  front  of  a  person she  knew  she couldn’t  bring  herself to  hurt?  Aida  didn’t  know,  nor  she  cared  to  understand,  cause  she  was  never  going  to  regret the  risk  taken  nor  the  one  she’d barely  avoided.  «  I  could  have  killed you  too,  or  so  I  thought  at  least.  And  I  was  not  going to  gamble  your  life  for  mine.  Not  yours.  »  She  didn’t  phrase  any  more  than  that,  the  truth  she  wasn’t  even  aware  of  standing  behind  the  weakness  she’d  almost  paid  for  in  blood.  Feelings  on  the  battlefield  could  be  a  deadly  sin.

　　　　«  Listen, there’s  no  point in  thinking  about  what  didn’t happen.  »  She  tried  distracting him  from  the  what  ifs  she  knew  were  going  on  inside his  head  just  like  they  were  swarming in  hers.  They  had  much  bigger  decisions to  take,  rationality  she tried  to  take  a  grasp  on  as  adrenaline  still  ran  high.  The  more  she  thought about  what  had  just  happened, the  more  the whole  situation  felt  unreal.  Years  spent  to  set  him  free  only  to  realize he  had  never  been,  and  while  she  was  there  saying  she  was  going  to  fight  for  his  freedom  she  also  wondered how  she  could  help  her  friend  keep  something  that  had  never  been  his.  His  freedom hadn’t  been  stolen by  Zemo,  he’d  just  revealed  what Bucky  had  never  achieved  in  the  first  place,  not really.  It  made  her  dangerously angry,  with  the  criminal  betraying them  and  with  the  ghosts from  Bucky’s  past  still  messing with  his  head.  

　　　　«  We  need  to  tell  Sam.  »  Of  that  at  least  she  was  sure  of,  first priority  set  in  the  plan  he  was  asking  her  to  make.  «  Then  we’ll  get  Zemo  and  lock  him  in  the  Raft.  Making him  talk  will be  the  fun  part.  »  As  a bitter  and  slightly sadistic  half-smile  painted the  Dora’s  lips, Aida  realized  that, at  least,  if  there  was  a  positive thing  in  all  that it  was  the  fact  that  Zemo  was  also  the  solution to  their  problems.  Cause  he  was  also  the  one  that  could  tell  them  what  else  was  inside Bucky’s  mind.  «  After  we’re  done  with  the  Flagsmashers… It’s  your  choice, but  I  think  you  should come  back  to  Wakanda.  You’d be  safe  there. »  Like,  to  her,  he  was  still  the one  she  wanted to  protect.

    it’s astounding how quickly his mood changes after that – bucky’s actually properly smiling into the second kiss now, eager and ready to get out of the river and to continue this elsewhere. somewhere more comfortable, where the worry of drowning doesn’t have to constantly be present in the back of his mind. the ex-assassin trusts her well enough, considering it’s mostly been her, helping him stay above the river’s surface, but even that would end up being too much if they did continue right where they are. 

   “ yeah. thanks. “ it’s tossed out absent-mindedly as arm grips a hold on her, while legs kicked out as he tries his best to keep up. it’s not the worst thing in the world, swimming with one arm like this, but he’s yet to learn how to do so gracefully, mind shoving that thought aside once they finally reach shore — what with the image he’s met with. 

  it doesn’t leave much to imagination, really and knowing that the bare minimum of clothing they have on themselves is going to become obsolete in a bit, it just spurs him on further as he pulls himself upward. way too eager to continue this and it shows. the way water glues underwear to skin, there’s little that could be hidden, anyway, but that’s neither here nor there. 

  any embarrassment that might come from this well aware and forgotten about as aida speaks. “ yeah. it’s – we should go there. “ not that they couldn’t .. continue right here on the grass, but despite how comfortable he had gotten with her, there’s still the urge of privacy that bucky feels the need of. the sense of privacy his hut ought to provide. so he extends his right hand, before he’s leading her back to the hut he’d been given, ignoring the heap of clothes they’ve left behind on the shore. 

　　　　Aida  wasn’t going  to  spend  time  looking for  clothes  in  the  dark  when  she  was  going  to  get rid  of  them  anyway.  Moonlight shining  on  her  dark  skin  covered  with  droplets  of  water,  she  felt  the  natural  buzz  of  electricity flowing  through  her  veins  together with  pure  excitement  and  the  freedom that  came  with  being  able  to  just  stand  there, after  a  night  swim  next  to  a  man  she  felt  fatally attracted  to.  It  was  one  of  those  things  that  made  her  happy  to  be  alive  and  grateful to  being  able  to  experience  the  wilderness  of  Wakanda,  very  few  other  places  in  the  world  were  like  that.  

　　　　«  Okay then.  »  Cat-like smile  on  her  lips,  the  Dora  grabbed Bucky’s  hand  and  pulled  him  in  a  kiss  one  more  time  before  she  started  to  run,  breathless and  heart-racing  towards his  hut,  four  walls  that  were  going  to  shelter them  from  the  stars.  The  moon  had  already  witnessed enough,  and  while  Aida  was  pretty  sure  no  other  eyes  would  fall  on  them  out  there  maybe  continuing  inside wasn’t  a  bad  idea  anyway.

　　　　«  So  this  is  your  place, mh?  »  As  she  looked around  and  smirked, Aida  realized  she’d  never  been  inside  the  small  house. Outside,  of  course, every  time  she’d  come  to  pick  him  up  for  a  sparring session  or  she’d  just  walked past  it  wondering if  he  was  inside,  but  for  a  moment  her  attention  got  caught  by  the  small  things  that  talked  about  him the moment  they  walked in.  It  almost made  her  forget about  what  they  were  actually doing  there.  Almost. One  brow  raised, Aida  looked  at  him  as  curiosity tickled  her  mind.  «  Have you  invited  anyone else  in  or am  I  the first?  »  

    “ sure. uh. doesn’t matter, really. “ he’ll eat what he’s given, but truthfully, his mind’s too busy trying to cope with current company, enough not to think too hard about how he liked his eggs. her tone doesn’t seem too pleasant, either, which just makes the whole ordeal worse, because there’s – plenty of things they have to talk about and are both shoving aside in lieu of not upping the tension that had settled even more than it had to. as much as bucky enjoys not being put on the spot, they reach the point eventually. she speaks up, throws out the issue at hand, fully expecting him to provide a valid explanation for everything he’d done up until now and no matter how hard he stares at the coffee pot that’s slowly brewing the coffee she’d kindly asked for, it seems he can’t get out of it, this time. 

   shoulders tense as the conversation gets directed his way and he tries to keep his gaze elsewhere for a tad longer, before he inevitably forces himself to look at her. doesn’t like the expression he’s met with, because he’s … not sure what to make of it really. 

  “ aida – “ he’s gone against them, breaking zemo out of prison. knowing full well the carnage he had caused all those years ago and yet, deeming it the right choice, regardless. an impulsive one, at best, but the baron had proved useful, he’ll have to give him that. still doesn’t make betraying their trust like that any better. he knows as much. ayo had made that perfectly clear when she’d disarmed him. “ well – she’s right. i wouldn’t trust me either. “ bucky exhales a sigh, brows furrowed together as he thinks where to even begin. “ he’s just – a means to an end. that’s all. “ he’s told the same to ayo. gotten the couple of days extra to make the best of use of the man, before they went after, but .. that didn’t quite go as planned. 

  now zemo’s out in the wind and that’s on him. “ we needed … something. it wasn’t the best plan, i agree, but he was the only choice we had at the time. and he’s helped. kind of. “ up until he up and disappeared amidst the fight. and frown deepens as shoulders shrug, before he’s folding his arms across his chest. “ but yeah, things – didn’t go as planned. and here we are. “ sounds a bit irritated at this point, but it’s as if it’s directed at himself, rather than anyone else.

　　　　The  way  Aida  was  cracking  those  eggs  probably told  more  about  her  current mood  than  all  the  effort she  was  making in  trying  to  remain  calm  and  collected. One  after  the  other,  she  put  the  shells  aside  and  poured the  content  of  six  in  an  oiled  pan,  than  starting  to  scramble  them  as  if  they  were  the  source of  all  her  frustration.  They weren’t,  of  course, but  it  did  make  her  feel  better, at  least  partially as  she  listened to  the  guy  talking,  eyes  leaving  his  face  only  to  check  she  wasn’t turning  the  eggs  into  a  culinary  mess.  

　　　　«  I  understand  that you  needed  him,  but  why  not  telling us?  »  That  was  the  whole  point, at  least  to  her.  To  be  completely honest,  she  wasn’t mad  about  him  breaking  Zemo  out  of  prison  as  much  as  she  was  about  him  doing  it  without  a  word.  Maybe there  had  been  no  time  to  waste, or  maybe  lack of  trust  went  both  ways.  Did  Bucky  really  think  Wakanda  wasn’t going  to  support his  decision  when  international  safety was  at  risk,  with  supersoldier terrorist  walking  around out  there?  At  least  she  understood  that  the  Dora  stopping  him  before  getting Zemo  out  was  a  risk  too  big  to  be  taken.  Still, Aida  couldn’t  help  but  think  that  there  had  to  have  been  other  ways.  Now  it  was  too  late  to  overthink  all  of  them,  though,  as  things  were  already  out of  hand.  

　　　　«  But  I  can  understand  impulsivity.  »  And  he  knew  how  impulsive  she  could  be  as  well,  so  those  words  on  Aida’s  lips  sounded  like  half  of  a  truce. Taking  two  plates, she  put  some  more  on  Bucky’s  and  the  remaining on  hers,  knowing all  too  well  that  the  man  and  his  fast  metabolism  needed way  more  fuel than  her  small  figure.  Then  she  went  sitting  to  the  table, legs  crossed  as  she  grabbed a  fork  and  waited  for  Bucky  to  go  sit  with  her  and  possibly bring  more  coffee. «  We  need  to  find  Zemo,  though. Maybe  then  Ayo  will  decide against  killing  you.  »  That  was  a  joke,  of  course,  but not  too  far  from  reality considering  how  things had  gone  down  with  the  Dora.  «  I  have  to  admit  though,  it  was  fun  showing  that  new  Captain America  what  we  call  fighting. »

  even with the same words tossed right back his way, it doesn’t do much for the guilt that’s threatening to eat him up from within. brain’s already wreaking havoc as he tries make sense of it all. of everything he’d done in wakanda – up until this point, up to where he thought what hydra had engraved into him was gone and dealt with, only for it all to come crushing down with one word. 

  “ but it was. “ bucky counters, a tad more defensively than he would have liked to as tremors calm down a bit.  it had taken him so long to try and think of everything he’d done as something he absolutely had no choice in. and now he’s here, fighting with himself, trying not to let the turmoil in his mind completely take over, lest he get lost in it all and nothing aida would say ought to make it any better. gaze lifts to look at her as she mentions shuri and there’s a flash of hurt at the mention. “ yeah. me too. “ all those sessions – he thought so too. everyone did. he’d been told his already broken mind was fixed — and now this.

  a sigh leaves his lips, not buying her claim that she’s fine one bit. bruised up neck, a gunshot wound – which had probably been directed elsewhere and not merely at her arm. he doesn’t need to think too hard to realize it, knowing full well how deadly the winter soldier was. no, is. which is why right arm moves to push the vibranium appendage away as it’s offered back to him. he doesn’t deserve that. too dangerous to let him have it on, so he’ll settle for .. less. 

  “ i’m durable. would have kept you safer. safer than … that. “ head tilts toward her, the injuries he’d caused and it pains him to talk about it, much less keep his gaze on her longer than need be, before he’s tearing it away. looking to the floor, as if it’s the most interesting thing he’d seen in a while. once zemo’s brought back up, confusion and sadness turn to disbelief. as if he can’t quite comprehend how quickly the man had managed to turn the entire thing his way. and bucky was right there, helping. “ i didn’t – know he could to that. “ a pause. “ when we broke him out. “ of course he had no clue. no one did.

　　　　«  No. Don’t  blame  yourself. »  God,  she  was  going  to  kill  Zemo!  In the  most  painful way  possible,  too.  While  sadism wasn’t  one  of  Aida’s  features, the  anger  kept  roaring  like  a  lioness whose  tribe  had  been  threatened.

　　　　«  And  take  this  arm,  I  wanna  see  you  use  it  to  snap  that  motherfucker’s  neck.  »  Was it  going  to  make  a  difference,  though? As  her  jaw  clenched  further, she  knew  the  answer  to  that  question. The  fact  that  Zemo  had  dared  to  phrase  the  word  was  only  part  of  the  problem,  it  was  actually what  had  brought to  like  the  fact  that  there  was  still  something  in  his  mind.  Some  of  Hydra’s  claws  that  had  stayed  hidden and  untouched.  She  took  a  couple  more  steps  closer to  put  the  vibranium  arm  back  in  place  herself. It  was  his, and  it  was  also  a  symbol  of  the  fact  that  she  wasn’t  going  to  turn  her  back  on  him  just  because things  were  wrong  again.  Wakanda wasn’t  going  to  either,  cause he  was  one  of  them  no  matter what.  

　　　　«  I  wasn’t  going  to  take  that  chance, Bucky.  »  Dark  eyes  piercing through  his,  the  expression  on  her  face  said  well  enough  just  how  much  she  meant it.  It  was  out  of  question,  picking hurting  him  in  order  to  be  safe, when  she  didn’t have  any  guarantee the  supersoldier  could  take  that  much  electricity. But  now  at  least  she  knew  that  if  needed her  powers  could  be  a  reset  button for  the  Winter Soldier,  something  she  had  to  keep  in  mind  as  a  last  chance.  

　　　　  Using  her  hands  to  rip  off  a  strip  of  fabric  from  her  shirt  with  which  she  proceeded to  bandage  the  wound  on  her  arm,  she  imagined the  fabric  being  someone’s  throat. «  I  know  you  didn’t. »  And  even  though  she’d  been  furious to  know  he’d  got  Zemo  out,  Aida  had  never  imagined  the  full  consequences of  it.  No-one could  have.  With a  sigh,  she  tried  to  relax  her  shoulders  and  her  eyes  softened.  «  We’re  gonna  fix  this, okay?  We  already did  it  once.  We  won’t  let  someone  take  away  your  freedom.  »

   “ ri-right. “ any semblance of control he had over his life now – gone. in an instant. and all it took was one word, uttered by the man he had helped escape and right now bucky doesn’t really know what to make of it. doesn’t know where he stands anymore, if it’s so easy to make him go under – bring out the assassin who kills without remorse with saying, but one word – he can’t stay there, can he? can’t go back to how he’s only now began to live – he’s .. back to being a liability. a danger to anyone around him and a quick glance at aida and the shape the soldier had left her in just further proved it so. 

  “ i’m sorry – “ he has to tear his gaze away, clenching his fist tighter. she’d disarmed him and still – he’d managed to get that close. teeth grit together at the onslaught of feelings and her words end up falling onto deaf ears. ( it wasn’t your fault. ) of course it was. he should have known. should have known part of the soldier is still in there. should have known he could take over at any given time and yet he’d ignored that in lieu of some lie that he was free. he put everyone in danger, without realizing it and all it took was one word. one, goddamn word that zemo, of all people, had managed to get a hold of. what a fucking mess this is turning out to be.

  “ don’t be. and y-yeah, it does. “ he doesn’t need to sugarcoat it. it hurts. reminds him of the chair, as if he’d needed that on top of everything that had gone down. as if it’s not obvious with the way he’ll wince every so often as muscles spasmed on their own. but he’ll try to ignore that – far as bucky’s concerned, he deserved it, anyway – as he’ll try and push himself up into a sitting position, wrapping his right arm across his middle to keep himself somewhat grounded, before mind spirals any further. 

  he doesn’t dare go for the arm, nor ask for it to be retrieved. doesn’t feel like he’s worthy of it. not anymore. he’s right back to square one, after all, frown deepening as eyes find aida’s own again. “ you .. okay? “ she doesn’t look it. and he’s the sole cause for that. “ should’ve – knocked me out soon as you got the chance. “ it’s tossed out absent-mindedly, tone dry. clearly he would have prefered that instead of causing all of this havoc. 

　　　　«  Don’t be.  »  It  was  the  same  thing  he’d  said  to  her,  yet  Aida  repeated  cause  it  sounded even  more  true  when  referred to  him.  None of  that  he had  meant,  not  the  violence and  not  the  bruises  and  most  definitely not  being  triggered by  whatever  code  word  Zemo  had  somehow found.  He  hadn’t hurt  her,  the Winter  Soldier  had.  And  more  than  him,  whoever  had  engraved  the  killing  machine inside  his  head.  

　　　　«  It  wasn’t  you. »  It  was  his  body  but  it  wasn’t  him,  and  Aida  kept  thinking  that  if  she’d  had  the  chance  to  wait  just  a  little bit  longer  Bucky  would  have  found  a  way  to  snap  out  of  it. Maybe  she  was  that  naïve, especially  when  shocking him  had  been  her  last  chance  before passing  out.  

　　　　One  hand  still  unsteady running  through  her  short  platinum hair,  Aida  shook  her  head  still  in  utter  shock  and  disbelief. «  I  thought Shuri  had  healed you.  »  Like  the  Winter Soldier  was  a  disease  that  had  been  stripped  from  his  system and  was  now  relapsing  in  all  his  viciousness.  She  could  bet  that  was  what  he  was  thinking as  well,  that  maybe  he  hadn’t  been  free  at all,  only  living in  a  lie  for  a  while.  Aida almost  felt  responsible, because  her  country was  the  one  supposed  to  fix  what  had  been  done  to  him.  They  had  fixed  her  heart, why  hadn’t  they  been  able  to  fix  his  mind  too?!  

　　　　«  ‘m  fine.  »  A  lie, but  the  last  thing  she  wanted  was  for  him  to  worry. Steadying  herself  with  the  spear, when  he  didn’t reach  for  it  the  Dora  lowered  to  take  the  vibranium  arm  and  hold  it  out  for  him.  «  I’d  never  knock you  out  on purpose.  At  least  not  when  I  wasn’t sure  it  would  bring  you  back.  »  She  could  have  killed him,  cause  a  thunder  was  a  thunder no  matter  what  serum  ran  in  his  body.  Anyone else  would  have  been  fried in  his  place, thank  Bast  he  was  fine.  Even  when  guilt  she  couldn’t  help  in  hearing him  say  it hurt.  «  I  won’t  be  as  clement with  that  son of  a  bitch. »  Turned  out  she’d  been  right  all  along  in  not  trusting  the  man.

  ears ring and muscles spasm as his body tries to cope with the surge of electricity he’d just been hit with. it doesn’t help that he’s absolutely dazzed and confused when he comes to, groaning as he’s trying to keep himself upward. 

  once he eventually manages to hold himself up for more than a couple of seconds, things slowly click into place. well. as much as they could. he feels less weight on his left side and doesn’t need to look over to realize that the arm is gone. can see it laying on the floor actually as eyes narrow, trying to determine why and what had happened to warrant that result, but the more brain mulls over it the more bucky doesn’t like what it’s coming up with. 

  couple of blinks later as some of the ringing subsides, he still feels muscles spasm every so often, pain shooting through his body and super soldier or no, it hurts. it’s then that he picks up on a voice – familiar one at that, before he glances around, eyes falling onto known figure. he’s about to ask what happened – regardless of how his throat seizes up every now and then, when vision clears and eyes fall onto the bruised neck, the arm now covered with blood and aida — aida looking at him with a look he hasn’t been met with – not in a while and certainly not from her. that look was reserved for … for …

    no, no. that – couldn’t be it.

  not after everything that had been done. not after spending so long amongst her people – not after he’d been told he’s free. after he actually felt that he’s free, finally ready to live life on his own. and now the longer he stares, the more breath picks up as things finally start to make sense. despite bucky wishing they hadn’t. she speaks again, voice distant, but he picks up on the question, either way. 

      ‘is it you?’

   … so he’d — he’d done that. no wonder he doesn’t remember anything. brows furrow together as realization downs on him and for a second he regrets having woken up from that nightmare. now he’s ..  left to pick up the pieces and the longer he stares at the bruised neck and the broken sound of aida’s voice, the more he wants to get up and leave. wishes his body would cooperate to do so, but he’s left trying to keep himself upward as limbs shake on their own, left to deal with the consequences of not being able to trust his own damn mind. again. after so much time – again. “ It’s … it’s me. “ he doesn’t deserve the worry he’s met with. like she’s worried about him, when he’d almost – finished the job. “ happened again .. didn’t it? “ words he dreaded saying again and now .. here he is.

　　　　She  knew  it  was  him,  way  before  Bucky  confirmed  it  with  his  voice.  She  realized  it  from  the  confusion  in his  eyes,  and  then  the  GUILT  and SHOCK  building  up  in  those  blue  hues  she  had  gradually  learnt to  recognize.  She  sighed  in  relief,  but  it  was  a  momentary feeling.  It  was  heartbreaking  to  watch,  the  belief  of  freedom  being  stripped  from  his  soul.  It  had  taken  only  a  single word  said  by  a  man  who  was  now  gone,  disappeared  leaving them  with  the  aftermath  of  it.  

　　　　Aida  didn’t know  whether  it  was  her  chest  now  that  hurt  more  than  her  throat and  arm  combined, blood  streaming  slowly down  her  skin  a  thing  she  was  barely  noticing as  her  heart  pounded  so  heavily  with  empathy.  She  clenched  her  jaw,  almost baring  her  teeth  as  anger surged  now  that  panic  was gone.  Another  kind  of  fear  was  starting to  form,  for him  and  what  the  past  few  minutes meant.  

　　　　«  Zemo—— »  She  cleared her  throat  and  tried  not  to  cough, tried  not  to  show  the  sharp  ache  that  came  with  phrasing words,  but  there  was  nothing she  could  do  for  her  voice.  «  He  said  something  in  Russian.  »  She  remembered it,  of  course she  wasn’t  going  to  repeat it.  Hand  on  the  wall  next  to  her,  she  stood  up  shakingly  almost using  her  spear  as  a  crutch.  Her  head  spinned but  she  force  herself  to  breath,  the  need  to  get  closer to  Bucky  and  check  he was  fine  more  powerful  than  physical  harm.  «  It  wasn’t  your  fault.  »  She  saw  the  way  his  body  was  still  reacting  to  her  electricity, she  couldn’t  stop  wondering  whether he  was  in  pain  too.  «  I’m  sorry about——  Does  it  hurt?  »

   this close. he’s this close to finishing his mission as hand finally grasps around its target and squeezes, pushing her against the wall with as much force as he can muster. which is entirelly too easy to do thanks to the serum coursing through his veins. teeth grit together as he keeps her there, knowing it won’t take long as he pushes against wind-pipe. could have done this faster - a snap and a very unfortunate end for many of his targets, but not her. the soldier has the audacity to drag this out, icy hues focused as teeth grit together as if awaiting light to leave her eyes as the last breath is taken. and he’s nearly there too, her final plea falling on deaf ears, but despite the methodical approach and predictable movements, he’s not prepared for what follows next.

  had there been part of bucky still in there somewhere, not completely enveloped by the fog, he would have remembered that there’s more to her, considering they did talk about it. the soldier, however, focused on one thing and one thing alone, can’t pull forth the memory, completely unprepared for the surge of electricity that bursts out. 

  a brief flash of something amidst susprise and confusion crosses his features in the split second when electricity builds, before it hits him. he doesn’t even get the chance to pull apart, nor to realize what’s happening as the surge knocks him back and off his feet, until he’s rolling onto the floor. it’s strong enough to knock him out for a moment as body tries to cope with the strength of the surge, muscles contracting and limbs trembling as he lay there. 

  feels like an eternity, before he groans, hand moving so he could lift himself up and off the floor. even if for a little bit.  the trembles don’t stop so hand curls into a fist as he does so, ears ringing, while brain tries to comprehend .. why he’s – in a world of pain akin to when they would put him onto the chair. feeling remarkably close to that, yet not really, it makes absolutely no sense as he blinks, pulling a blank. as if he – blacked out. 

     that never meant anything good. 

　　　　Aida  fell  to  the  ground  coughing for  air,  lungs  almost  spasming in  the  attempt to  get  oxygen flowing  again.  Her  brain  felt  foggy  and  dots  of  darkness  still  filled  her  vision,  every  thought  and  feeling  of  fear  and worry  momentarily  disappeared as  BREATHING  became her  only  aim.  Hand  at  her  throat, the  skin  under  her  feelings was  bruised  and  livid,  purple already  mixing  with  the  chocolate of  her  skin.  It  hurt  like  a  bitch,  airways  so  sore  even  the  tiniest drop  of  saliva brought  tears  to  her  eyes.  Yet  her  other  hand  instinctively  went  to  close  around  her  spear,  just in  case  she had  to  protect herself  again.  

　　　　In  her  flight  or  FIGHT  mode, she  had  no  idea  how  strong  the  electricity  had  come  out  of  her  body.  As  soon  as  panic  subsided  just  enough  to  be  able  to  think  again,  WORRY  immediately  took  over  and  eyes  teary  with  both  physical  and  emotional  pain  she  moved  to  take  a  look  at  Bucky.  

　　　　Guilt  surged  as  she  watched the  side-effects  of  electricity  making his  body  twitch painfully.  From  her  four-legged  position, Aida  tried  with  a  chocking noise  to  drag  herself  closer to  check  on  him  all while  her  instinct screamed  to  just  get  away  from  there.  Soldier or  man,  she  had  no  idea  who  was  in  charge  of  Bucky’s  mind  now.  

　　　　The  violence of  her  uncontrolled powers  hadn’t  killed him,  thankfully.  Yet  she  wondered if  it  had  been  enough to  make  his  brain  rewire  and  bring  him  back.  Aida  knew  that  if  it  hadn’t  she  was  going  to  be  dead  soon, cause  there  was  no  way  she  could  run  away  or  fight  back  now,  between  her  struggling  lungs  and  the  exhaustion  that  came  with  such  a  huge  release of  energy.  She  could  feel  her  bionic heart  twitching,  veins  burning  there  were  it  had  sent  thunders.  

　　　　«  Bucky?  »  Lips  moved  but  her  voice  was  just  a  whisper  badly  phrased  by  her  bruised vocal  chords.  It  sounded  like  she’d  been  screaming  for  days  on  end,  so  she  tried  again  when  she  saw  him  blink. «  Bucky,  is  it  you?  »

  it’s gets easy to anticipate her moves after a while. the soldier struggles a bit from the start, but the longer she continues to defend herself, the more he can begin to analyze and efficiently counter her moves, knocking the spear aside every time it gets too close. words aren’t registered in the slightest, with only teeth grit together as eyes narrow dangerously and a few grunts tossed out as he attempts to lessen the distance the spear provides for her given in return. she’ll have to try harder than that. also seems to lack the coldness the soldier moves with. a weakness. that will inevitably make it easier to overpower her.

   but she’s quick, he has to give credit where credit is due. makes this fight drag on longer than he’d anticipated as knife collides with the spear again and again. until she’s spinning out of the way, expertly avoiding another slash, closing up the distance, which won’t end well. for her.

   or so the soldier thinks, fully ready to retaliate, now that the distance had been closed up – until hand collides with his shoulder in the right spot, a wave of something flowing through the entirety of the limb, before it goes rigid. for split second, there’s something else in those cold eyes – surprise – as eyes go from her to the arm and back to her, before they’re narrowing.

   few more taps and the limb falls to the ground, unceremoniously, but it only spurs the soldier into action as he lurches forward, using his right arm, instead. he could still make her lose her balance. grasp that neck with one hand and squeeze – for as long as it would be needed to complete his mission.

　　　　The  vibranium arm  detached  and  fell  to  the  ground with  a  metallic noise,  a  useless limb  now  leaving the  Winter  Soldier with  only  his  right.  Yet Aida  knew  better than  to  let  that  small  victory  get to  her  head,  as  in  training  with  him  she’d  seen  just  how  deadly Bucky  still  was  even  with  one  arm  only.  Add  that  to  the  lack  of  remorse that  made  the  Winter  Soldier fight  like  a  predator  aiming for  her  throat.

　　　　Her  own  vibranium-reinforced  heart  kept  pounding in  her  chest, SURPRISE  in  the  soldier’s  eyes  not  really making  her  feel  any  safer when  even  more  anger  replaced it.  Years  of  fights  and  training  to  kill  had forged  him  into  this  perfect machine  that  couldn’t conceive  any  distraction  to his  mission.  Words  didn’t  seem  to  reach  him  nor  feelings,  not  even  the  way  her  eyes  were  pleading  him to  stop  before she  was  forced to  do  something she  was  going  to  regret later  on.  

　　　　The  Dora  Milaje  had  trained  her  to  be  just  as  effective  and cold-hearted  when  in  front  of  an  enemy, yet  her  human side  was  still  there  and  made  her  hold  back  in  a  way.  Ayo  would  have  scolded  her  terribly  for  letting  that  weakness  make  her  blows  less  harsh  on  him,  it  was  likely  that  her  mentor wasn’t  going  to  have  the  chance  to  get  angry  at  her.  Cause  Aida  knew  she’d  left  a  huge  hole  in  her  defense  the  moment  Bucky’s hand  closed  around her.  

　　　　Hand  loosing the  grasp  on  her  spear  due  to  the  force  of  impact, oxygen  got  cut  from  her  lungs  as  her  back  collided  against the  nearby  wall.  «  P-lease. »  She  wasn’t pleading  for  her  life,  although it  might  seem  like  that.  As  both  hands  clawed at  his  wrist  in  a  desperate  attempt to  make  him  loosen  up  the  hold,  her vision  started  to fade as  her  throat  got  livid.  One  step away  from  fading to  black, electricity  called  by  adrenaline  and  survival  instinct burst  out  of  her  in  blue  light  embodying  the  impetus  of  a  thunder.  

  any plea or warning that’s tossed his way falls on deaf ears as he moves. methodical, precise, ten steps ahead, fully prepared to take on the dora all by himself. his handler had made it out, used up the commotion to make his escape, which makes part of the mission successful, another still waiting to be dealt with. there’s zero remorse as the bullet hits its mark. not where it was intended to, but it might turn things his way, regardless. can’t have been pleasant, after all.

   the spear proves a damn nuisance as he tries to avoid the blows, keep his balance – fully aware of what she’s trying to achieve. it’s a long enough weapon to keep him from getting too close, knife cluthed in his hand, but it doesn’t really do much. 

  body picks up on years of training automatically as he moves, swift and precise, avoiding the blows and smacking the spear aside to try and close up the distance in between. couple of hits do seem to land their mark in the end, making him grunt as balance is disturbed if only for a split second, before he’s pulling himself up again.

  words don’t register even as she speaks. absolutely zero recognition as icy hues meet her own, the look more akin to predator looking at prey and not much else. mind is too occupied with finishing the mission he’d been tasked with to register anything else and at this rate, the soldier will settle for simply throwing the knife her way. get himself an opening that way. not meant to kill, just to maim until he would be close enough to finish the job.

　　　　She  would  have  thought the  months  spent  training  with  him  could  give  her  away  to  predict  his moves,  but  it  was  true  only  in part.  The  way  the  Winter Soldier  moved  now was  so  different from  Bucky’s  own  fighting  style  as  night  was  from  day.  The  lack  of  humanity  or  remorse  showed in  the  way  he  aimed  to  kill,  no  holding  back  there  were  the  man  she  knew  had  always hated  to  harm  his  opponents.  The  way  he’d  felt  guilty when  breaking  her  arm  one  day  during sparring  now  was  long  gone,  replaced  by a  violence  that  could  only  came  with  having  one  priority  only  —  finishing his  mission,  HER in  that  case.  

　　　　But  he  had  to  be  still  in  there,  however deep  his  consciousness had  been  momentarily drowned  into  oblivion.   Which  was  why  she  was  fighting  to  protect  herself instead  than  to  hurt  him, a  way  of  thinking  that  could  only  be  a  liability  when finding  herself  in  front  of  the  most  skilled  assassin.  

　　　　«  Get  him  out  of  your  head,  Bucky! »  Eyes  wide,  every  time  his  now  unfamiliar  ones  met  her  gaze  almost made  her  lose  balance.  She had  to  get  close  to  trigger  the  failsafe  in  his  arm,  yet  it  was  easier said  than  done  with  that  knife  between them.  Its  blade  screeched  against the  metal  of  her  spear, Aida  tried  to  use  the  momentum  to  spin  sideways and  try  to tap  his  shoulder in  the  right  combination  of  movements  every  Dora  had  learnt.  Doing  her  best  to  move  fast  enough cause  she  knew  getting  his  hands  on  her  would  mean  vicious consequences.  

  he really shouldn’t feel as uncomfortable as he’s feeling, standing there, awkwardly nursing the mug of coffee he’d made for himself, gaze set somewhere on the floor. it has been … years, after all. they’d both made it very clear that it was but a one time thing, anyway and yet there’s something about coming across someone you had gotten to know so intimately that has the ex-assassin freeze up, unable to find the right words to make this any better on himself. or on aida for that matter. 

   she seems … alright though. moving to make something to eat, pretending this tension that had set in between doesn’t actually exist and bucky’s all too eager to grab the opportunity to talk about something else, rather than the issue they probably should end up talking about . “ uh, no. not yet. “ not that he would have probably ended up making anything for himself, come think about it. 

  “ i can help, if you’re planning on making more? “ it will give him something to distract himself with, anyway, rather than his mind going back all those years ago, question after question, eager to spill, before she cuts him off with another question. thank god. 

  “ went out to smooth things out with walker. the guy’s probably pissed at how things had gone down yesterday, but — “ a curt shrug is all the ex-assassin can muster as he downs a portion of coffee. “ he deserved that. “ 

  bucky on the other hand, is still baffled at how quickly ayo had managed to disarm him once they’ve stepped in. and the few words she’d followed after, lingering somewhere in the back of his mind, when all they’d tried to do was de-escalate the situation. “ hmm. anyway – shouldn’t you … be out looking for zemo? “ 

　　　　«  Do  you  mind  making  more  coffee?  I’ll  do  the  eggs.  How  do  you  like  yours? »  Her  voice  wasn’t  the  warmest,  yet  it  was  calm  at least  on  the  surface,  practical  even as  Aida  glanced at  the  man  sideways.  The  tension  she  felt  actually had  nothing  to  do  with  the  fact  she  had  seen  him  naked  once. In  Aida’s  world, that  kind  of  intimacy  wasn’t something  she  would  put  too  much  overthinking on.  Their  friendship,  though,  or  at  least  the  loyalty she’d  thought  they’d shared  was  a  whole  other  deal.  How  he  had  broken  that by  getting  Zemo  out  of  prison,  more  specifically,  was  what  made  it  difficult to  act  cool with  a  guy  she’d  always felt  so  utterly comfortable  with.  Aida  was  actually studying  him,  trying to  understand  whether he  was  still  the  same  person  she  used  to  like  before  their  paths  had  split  in  Wakanda.  

　　　　«  You  can  bet  he  deserved  that. »  She  seconded, that  at  least  they  could  agree  on.  Yet  his  words  increased her  confusion.  He  didn’t  seem  to  like  Walker  —  just  like  she  was  sure  he  didn’t  like  or  trust  Zemo  —, yet  he  had stepped  in  and  tried  to  stop  them  while  they  were  fighting  the  new  Cap.  «  I’m  having  a  hard  time  figuring  out  why  you  side  with  such  people. »  It  came  out  so  brutally  honest that,  for  a  moment,  the  air  in  the  room  just  seemed to  freeze  as Aida  put  down  the  eggs  she  was  about  to  crack.  Turning, her  dark  eyes  focused  on  him  with  a  somewhat unreadable  expression.  

　　　　«  Ayo  asked  me  to  stay  behind in  case  you  and  Sam  needed  help.  Truth  is,  I  don’t  think  she  trusts  the  two  of  you  unsupervised.  And  I  don’t  blame  her,  do  you?  »  That was  probably  his  moment  to  come  out  with  an  explanation.  

@elctrcity​ asked “👁 For baby Rocket”

👁 Wake my muse up during a nightmare

Non Verbal RP Starters || Accepting!

Nightmares are more commonplace for him than he’d like to admit. Every time he thinks they can’t any more worse, his mind finds some new way to make him suffer. A lot of them call back to Halfworld. Other times they’re about the countless fights he’s gotten in over time. Ones that didn’t go according to plan. Sometimes they’re about the future and just how bad things could go if he wasn’t careful, and other times it’s all of the above. 

As well as medicine for chronic pain, he often takes something for nightmares and sleep, but being on the moon has left him without his prescription. So he’s found thrashing around on the floor, his fur puffed up and whimpering like a scared little animal. Automatically shooting up at attention when a hand touches him in his sleep. Not bothering to see who it is before scrambling off on all fours embarrassed.

Even close friends like Aida aren’t allowed to see him vulnerable.

　　　　The  bed  next  to  her  had  been  warm  and  then  had  suddenly gone  cold,  empty now  when  it  had  been  the  two  of  them  falling  asleep on  it  after  a  mindless night  spent  there  on  the  lunar  base.  It  had  become  a  comfortable  thing, to  have  a  friend  like  Rocket  to keep  her  company on  the  satellite that  was  too  cold  and quiet  for  someone like  her  that  was  born  in  a  land  of  eternal  sunshine and  colorful  sounds. The  emptiness  of space  had  a  way  of  spooking  her,  of  making the  former  Dora  feel  uncomfortable,  yet  it  wasn’t as  heartbreaking  as  the  whimpering that  had  woken  her  up.  

　　　　It  had  taken  a  moment  for  her  sleepy eyes  to  focus  on  the  figure  thrashing on  the  floor, nightmares  in  his  mind  almost making  the  air  heavier  with fallout.  So  she  had  tried  to  be  gentle  when  waking  Rocket up,  fingers  touching his  fur  without worrying  whether  or  not  he  was  going  to  scratch or  bite  her  in  self-defense. He  looked  scared and  almost  in  pain,  so  she  almost expected  a  fight-reaction.  Yet,  seeing  him  running  away  instead  startled her  even  more  than  that.  

　　　　«  Rocket? »  Calling  after  him  in  confusion,  voice  cut  by  the  door  slamming  behind him.  Mind  still  foggy,  the  Wakandan  rubbed her  eyes  and  took  a  breath  in  before  following. Only  taking  the  time  to  grab  a  glass  of  water  by  the  carafe in  her  room,  Aida  luckily needed  no  light  to  find  her  way  around  the  base.  «  Rocket?  »  She  tried  again,  quieter  this  time  in  order  not  to  wake  anyone  else.  The  alien’s small  figure  wasn’t easy  to  find  in  the  dark,  but she  got  lucky  eventually.  Sitting down,  she  didn’t talk  at  first  and  just  placed  the  glass  in  front  of  him.  «  I’m  not  gonna ask  you what  that  was about  unless  you want  to  talk about  it.  »

@elctrcity​ asked for pain;

      “ спутник . “

   one word. a single word is enough to stop him in his tracks, body freezing on its own – the feeling both confusing and terrifying, feeling entirely too close to so many times it had done so before. on a whim. someone else’s whim, not his own. it’s the last thing bucky registers at this point, as brows furrow together, mind trying to fight the familiar feeling – zemo smirking like a complete maniac, expression akin to something in between excitement and absolute shock ( as if he hadn’t expected it to work – no one did ), before he’s out like a light. 

   instead there’s the familiar sentence. as if on repeat – russian, spoken for the first time in what seemed an eternity by now. programming he was supposed to be free of returning so easily, so quickly, it’s worrisome to anyone else, but the baron, siccing him on the dora, like an obedient dog, while he makes his escape. 

  and the soldier complies. easily enough as gun is lifted shooting at friend foe without remorse. icy blues are fogged up by something, mind focused on one thing and one thing alone. completing his mission. and he’ll do anything that’s in his power to do so, as teeth grit together and he makes way forward, abandoning the gun in lieu of the knife he would keep on his person at all time. they won’t make it easy, but neither will he.

　　　　Everything  had  happened  in  the  blink  of  an  eye,  in  the  split second  that  took  a  single word  to  escape Zemo’s  mouth.  If  she  wasn’t going  to  die by  Bucky’s  hand,  Aida  was  most  definitely going  to  kill the  man  or  make  sure  he  rotted in  the  Raft  for  the  rest  of  his  life.  

　　　　That  had  to  be  one  of  the  most  bone-chilling  things the  Dora  had  ever  seen  in  his  life.  Even  in  the  months  she’d  spent  being  friend  with  Bucky  in  Wakanda,  she’d  never  had  the  chance to  see  just  how  fast the  light  went  out  of  his  eyes  as  soon  as  the  Winter  Soldier took  the  place  of  his  conscience.  It  was  just  like  seeing his  soul  leaving his  body  an  empty  shell  moved  by  anger  and  violence  alone.

　　　　Fear  Aida  had  experience  in  many  forms  throughout  her  life,  yet  now  that wasn’t  fear  about  her  survival. It  was  the  fear  that  came  with  being  in  front  of  choices  she  didn’t  want  to  make.  

　　　　«  Bucky! Stop  it!  » Useless  words  escaped her  lips  as  she  moved  to  the  side,  adrenaline the  only  thing  saving  her  from  a  bullet  aimed  at  her  chest.  It  still  scraped her  arm,  though, yet  pain  she barely  felt  as  blood  started flowing  on  her  dark  skin,  focus  on the  man  she  deemed  a  friend  and  who  she  did  not  want  to  hurt.  Electricity pushing  from  inside to  be  used  and  keep  her  alive, Aida  kept  it  at  bay  as  she  moved  her  spear  swiftly towards  his  legs  trying  to  fail  his  balance.  Zemo  disappeared,  Aida  tried  again to  reach  for  the  man  inside  the  soldier.  «  It’s  me!  Please,  I  don’t  want  to  fight you.  »