chronic rambler.

y'all make it sound like drinkin water will make me mentally stable like sip sip I’m still depressed motherfuckers

scary how fast someone can mean so much to you

everything feels a lil sad and unreal. i do not feel too alive anymore. im just kinda floating through time

self-destruction doesn’t always look like taking too many pills or cutting your skin open. sometimes it’s drinking coffee when you know caffeine gives you panic attacks. sometimes it’s crossing the street without looking both ways. sometimes it’s showering with the water a little too hot. sometimes it’s avoiding eye contact with your reflection in the mirror or ridiculing your problems rather than addressing them. sometimes it’s walking out without sunscreen in scorching heat and not wearing enough when it’s freezing out. self destruction isn’t always physical mutilation, mostly it’s masked as little things so never assume what someone may be going through just bc they don’t show you visible signs of suffering.

Do you ever just shut off?? Like you could be feeling okay and interacting with people and then all of a sudden *boom* you’re empty. Not hating yourself, not caring about anything… Just feeling disassociated and indifferent to live around you.