I fell and you dropped me.

All my credit goes towards my English teacher, without here none of this would even be possible. 

I'd ask what English teacher you had but I wouldn't really recognize the person, so no point in asking.

I would like to thank Mc Donalds for being a great fast food restaurant. Publix, because above is a supermarket and below is a secret underground porn industry. That girl with the nice fat balls on her chest, and Mexican food for being there for me when no one else was. 

I stand corrected, that was a fabulous speech.

As good as that sounds, that just won’t do. 

Alright fine, show me a good speech then.

That was the worst speech I’ve ever heard.

How about, "fuck the world. Now give me my award," good enough speech?

I can’t believe it, this is such an honor. Do you have an acceptance speech ready? I think you should go first.

Oops, I'm unprepared.

That makes two of us. 

Nope, they were average. Still nice though.

One is enough for me. 

Her tits weren't that great then.

What’s the fun in that? 

Maybe she'll send you more tit-pics.

I dare you to send nudes back.

Please, I’ve been in this town a long time. I know everyone, especially when your uncles a doctor.

Still makes you a creepy stalker. Knowing my uncle is a doctor doesn't mean you should know my name.

Fuck off. I don’t care if I know your name or not. I already know your Effy.

Now that sir, makes you sound like a stalker.

Makes it all the more fun for me then.

You're not one of those guys that will spend all night trying to guess my name are you? Because they're annoying.

Touche. It’s Jasper and you are?

I prefer to stay anonymous, Jasper. I have to seem somewhat mysterious.

Would talking to someone help? I’m here to listen if you need me.

It's not something I would like to ever speak about.

Please let me join you. I can be a fun time when I want to be.

I only allow people to drink with me if they tell me their name.

You and I both. Is everything alright?

I just need to get my mind off of things.