I had to make this new blog, I regret sharing my tumblr with people that don’t deserve to know my deepest thoughts

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@effluencetui
I had to make this new blog, I regret sharing my tumblr with people that don’t deserve to know my deepest thoughts

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To be awake is to be lonely
“So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”
— Jorge Luis Borges, After a While
The question "so what do you do" at a dinner party is different for writers because the honest answer is "i sit alone in a room having arguments with people who don't exist and occasionally produce a document about it" and that's technically true and also sounds insane so instead you say "i write" and then someone asks "anything i'd know" and you have to decide in real time how much of your soul you want to put on this table right now.
“We all eat lies when our hearts are hungry.”
— Unknown

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Focusing energy in what we want to go well will always work, if we dwell in the past, other people, other things, we will never achieve what we want, manifesting is not just about saying out loud what you want once, it’s about constant pouring of energy into the same thing.
At the same time, we must be present and enjoy every moment, take your time with things, notice smells as you breathe, get goosebumps and instead of rubbing your hand on them, feel them run all over your body, feel the pain if there is any and acknowledge it’s presence, feel the ground beneath you and feel the energy surrounding you. This is called “meditating”.
You can be active and meditate at the same time, as you do things, let your mind be in the present and not the future or the past. It’s not about what you’ll do tomorrow, it’s about what you’re doing now.
Live.
你正渐渐远去,
声如游丝,轻若微风。
我唇印在你额间,你想对我说话,
我望见你,我懂你。
我知道你的恐惧,你的无助,
却又如此清醒,感知着这世界的每一缕光。
我会来陪你,为你读诗,让你安宁。
对不起,我未能早些赶到,我竟全然不知。
我总活在黑暗里,可唯独这件事,
我多想不被蒙蔽。
我一次次信任,却一次次被伤,
我累了,累了这世间的一切,
累了被遗忘在角落,直到一切都晚。
我知道,你感受得到我,如同我感受你,
我想告诉你,放手也无妨。
不必再抗争,不必再坚持。
我爱你。
(written for my grandma before passing away)
一路走好,安息。我爱你。
物の哀れ
Doubts in your mind create doubts in mine. Fear of losing me is what's keeping you by my side, but as every emotion, fear goes away. You will leave, I will be alone again. It's okay, you can go when you need to, I will always be in your corner if you need me. All I want is for you to be happy even if it isn't with me.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming