Idek

"This is so stupid," Simon grumbled as he walked into his local animal shelter with Gaz.

"C'mon, mate! I'm telling you, this shit works," Gaz said cheerfully. "I know this isn't the same place I volunteer at, but they all operate similarly." They walked into the quiet lobby, and Simon wouldn't admit it, but there was a pit in his stomach.

"Welcome in! What can I help you with?" A sweet receptionist asked.

"My buddy here would like to volunteer," Gaz responded, clapping a hand on Simon's tense shoulder.

"Oh, perfect! Let me get you some forms to fill out. Before I give them to you, we have to do a background check, is that alright?"

Simon let out a strained, "Yes," grabbing the clipboard with forms on it and moving to sit in one of the too-small lobby chairs.

"You're a big man, you know how to fill out some forms," Gaz said, "I know we rode here together, but I'm gonna watch you turn those in. Make sure you don't flake," he half-joked. After a few minutes, Simon turned his papers in to the receptionist.

"Alright, thank you for that! You'll hear back from us within a few days if your application is accepted and we will go from there!"

"Amazing, thank you, miss!" Simon and Gaz walked back to Simon's truck. Simon wondered if he would get accepted.

~Timeskip~

Simon was accepted 6 months ago and now knew the ins and outs of volunteering at his animal shelter. He had gone on a couple missions here and there, but was currently on long-term leave. Simon had gotten injured during his most recent mission and Price decided 141 could all use a huge break, especially since he wouldn't send any of them out without Simon. At first, he thought it was stupid. A waste of time, energy, and gas. He learned quickly and was efficient, but it took him a while to warm up to the animals. At first, it was the dogs, especially the scrappy ones. He felt like they understood him. As he started to form bonds, he fought harder to get them adopted. Simon knew with his line of work he would never have a pet, unless it was a military dog that he took home with him. He helped take pictures for social media, gave extra information about their personalities to potential families, and made sure each one that was adopted was going to the safest home possible. Simon never considered himself a "cat person", but when a stray cat with one eye came in, he felt an instant connection. The cat had clearly been through some stuff, but she was still so loving and trusting. When you brought her in, you said she walked right up to you and didn't fight when you put her in the carrier. Simon strived to be like the cat, but he couldn't bring himself to be, even when you tried having a conversation with him. She wasn't the first animal that Simon needed to name, so when it came time for him to think of a name that fit her, he was stumped. The only thing that came to mind was "Kitty", so that's what she was named.

This was good for Simon. It helped him pass the time, he knew he was still being helpful to his community, he felt strong connections to all of the animals, but something felt off. There was a hole that wasn't being filled, even though he was doing such a good deed. Simon was even able to get Soap and his wife to adopt Kitty. Something else was plaguing him. He couldn't get a specific person out of his head. Since you had first brought Kitty in 3 weeks ago, you've brought in 2 litters of kittens, 1 tom, and 3 female cats, all strays. Every time you came in with a carrier, you broke down Simon's walls a little bit. It started off with small talk, then cracking jokes, then asking questions. Simon's train of thought was broken when he heard the bell from the front door ring. It was a slow day, so besides the manager who was in her office, he was the only one there. It was you, looking disheveled, a cat in your carrier.

"How do you keep catching all these cats?" Simon asked, smirk on his face.

"I don't know! This one is feisty though," you said, handing the carrier to Simon.

"Let me get him checked in, I'll be right back," he said, already walking towards the back. You sat in the lobby, waiting for Simon to return with your carrier. Today would be the day you admitted why you've been catching so many cats. After a few minutes, he came back out, carrier in hand. You stood to meet him in the middle of the lobby.

"Simon, can I be honest with you for a sec?"

"Um, sure?"

"There are a couple of reasons I've been coming in so often. The first being that the colony of cats in my neighborhood needs help. The second being that I really like seeing and talking to you." You couldn't meet his eyes, looking at other parts of his face. There was an awkward silence before he responded.

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing, actually. I'm off today. Why?" You looked him in the eye now, trying and failing to decipher the look on his face.

"Did you want to go on a date tonight," he asked, face straight and voice blunt.

"Yeah, sure!" You felt heat creeping up your neck as you pulled out your phone to get his number.

~Timeskip~

You and Simon met after a mission where 141 needed extra air support. You had helped pull him into the helicopter after he had been shot. It was just a graze, but they needed to get out of there anyway. You stayed with him while he got patched up, even though he insisted you could leave.

You weren't exactly known for being the sweetheart of the team, your black balaclava covering most of your face and emotions, but you weren't going to leave an injured sergeant alone.

Simon liked seeing someone else with a mask, it made him feel like he didn't have to explain himself or worry about how he was coming off. He also enjoyed just sitting in silence while he was tended to by the nurse.

You kept getting put on the same missions after that encounter, sometimes interacting, sometimes not.

You enjoyed his dry sarcasm and strong aura and he enjoyed your skills as an operative and silent company.

You were the best on your team, knowing how to fly every aircraft necessary, how to attack and defend while in the air, and how to strategize on the fly. Simon admired this about you. He was very familiar with the mix of skills, rank, and the mask making people scared of him, and it was refreshing feeling seen.

After a while, you two became attached at the hip, talking whenever you could or just communicating with your eyes when you didn't feel like talking.

The chemistry you two had on the field was unmatched. Missions were getting done faster, more efficiently, safer. It may have been due to the fact that both of you were trying to impress the other, so you pulled out all the stops each time.

A couple years had passed before you two started dating. Regardless of how much you worked together, spending time outside of work together was still a foreign concept to both of you. It took 6 months to become official.

You two still had crazy chemistry at work and were often put together for missions. This also meant the stakes were higher. There was a level of anxiety for both of you that wasn't there before. If either of you got hurt or something was going wrong, it messed with your heads more than you would have liked, but you knew that was part of the job.

Coming home from a mission always felt nice, but it felt even better to get a drink with the team before actually going to your house. Going to the bar closest to base was always easiest, because everyone would just go their separate ways until it was time to go to work again. The way this mission ended left everyone in high spirits, which meant is was a one drink and done kind of night. Everyone wanted to go home basically sober and enjoy feeling positive for a while without anything coming in the way of that.

Once everyone had changed into their civilian clothes, you drove separately to the bar. You all met up and were lucky enough to find a table that fit everyone, even though it was a Saturday night. Obviously, all the men of 141 looked good, but there was one that stood out a little extra. You and Simon had never actually slept together, but there have been some shared kisses, vulnerable moments, and secretly shared mattresses on missions. All the other men of 141 felt like brothers, but there was always something different about Simon. He looked into your eyes with an intensity that was unmatched, but right now, you matched it. The tight black shirt he had on hugged the curves of his muscles deliciously and his jeans fit perfectly in all the right places. He still wore his mask, but everyone at the bar knew him and the mask or was too drunk to care. You opted for leggings and a shirt. It was starting to get hot and they were convenient to pack, since they didn't take up much space.

Your team wasn't stupid. They knew there was something between you and Simon, but they never said anything. Everyone was always so close to death during missions that there wasn't much worth stirring the pot about. As the boys chattered, you kept your eyes on Simon, sipping your beer every couple of minutes. After about 15 minutes of shooting the shit, everyone's beers were done and the exhaustion was settling.

You hugged everyone but Simon goodbye, waiting for your moment to strike. You weren't sure what made you need him so badly this night, but you decided you had waited long enough. Simon was going to leave with everyone else, but you jogged to him and grabbed his arm before he could get into his truck.

"Hey, Simon."

"Oh, hey. Did you need something?"

"Listen, don't feel like you have to say yes, but I don't want to be alone tonight. Can I come home with you?" You looked up at him with your sweetest doe eyes. It was hard to see in the dark, the only light coming from the lamp post nearby, but you could see the way his expression changed under his mask. Your question caught him off guard.

"Oh, um, sure." He mumbled, walking to the opposite side of his truck to open the door for you.

"Such a gentleman," you said sweetly. Simon didn't respond, just closed the door and got in the driver's seat. The car ride was quiet, soft music played while you watched him from the corner of your eye. He drove with one hand, the other propped on his door to rest his head on.

"Are you gonna stare at me all night? Giving me the creeps."

You felt heat creep up your neck and face, turning to your window.

"Sorry," you muttered. Maybe tonight wasn't the night after all. It would probably be less embarrassing to let him fall asleep then get an Uber back to your car then have to ride back with him in the morning.

"It's alright, it was kinda cute," he said casually. This made your face burn even more. Simon has always sent mixed signals, so this wasn't anything new, but him calling you 'cute' was. You decided not to look at him for the rest of the ride anyway.

When he pulled into his driveway, you were pleasantly surprised. His house was cute and small, but well kept, like everything else he owned. You got out of the car before he could open the door for you, but you thanked him when he let you enter his house first. He turned the lights on and, again, you saw that everything was simple and clean. Simon threw his keys in the bowl by his door and took his mask off, then his shoes. You had seen him without his mask plenty of times, but his bare face never ceased to amaze you.

"You can have the bed, just let me change first."

"Okay," you said quietly, walking over to sit on his couch while you waited. You had a plan. When he came to lay on the couch and you in the room, you would come out and ask for him to lay with you. If he accepted, you would wait for him to lay down, then you would make your final strike. The idea made your heart pound and gave you chills that excited your sensitive areas. You heard him shuffling around him room for a few more minutes before he emerged in a loose fitted band shirt and loose gray sweats that hung dangerously low on his hips.

"Rooms all yours. There's a spare set of clothes for you on the dresser. If you need anything, I'll be out here." He walked to the closet in his hallway, pulling out an extra blanket to lay on the couch with.

"Okay, thank you." You walked meekly to his room, shaking as you closed the door. You scanned the room, noticing the ensuite bathroom. He probably freshened up for bed in there, which meant there might've been some things for you to freshen up with as well. You changed into the huge shirt and pajama bottoms he left before going into the bathroom. Being in the field together means lack of personal space and items, so shared toothpaste and other hygiene products wasn't new to you or Simon. Fortunately, as you quietly scavenged his bathroom, you found a drawer that had new travel-sized toothpaste, toothbrush, and deodorant. Once you felt as ready as you could, you splashed cold water on your face in an attempt to calm your nerves and relieve the heat that had been pestering the skin of your face.

You walked silently into the hallway, noticing he had turned off all of the lights.

"Si..." you said coyly.

"Mmm," he hummed, clearly already relaxed.

"Earlier tonight, I said I didn't want to be alone. That included going to bed. Can you please come lay with me?" You asked as sweetly as you could. You could barely see him, even after your eyes adjusted, but you could hear him getting up.

"Alright, but don't expect me to be all cuddly and shit," he grumbled, walking toward the bedroom. Every time you had shared an old mattress in a safe house, you kept your distance, facing away from each other. You quickly walked towards the further side of the bed and getting in, pulling the blankets up to your face. The bed dipped as he climbed in, facing away from you as usual. You could tell if you didn't act quickly, he was going to fall asleep, and the throbbing between your legs could not let that happen. Something about being surrounded by his clothes, scent, belongings, was very erotic to you. Especially the way his clothes rubbed against your bare body, nipples hard and rubbing against his shirt, your core dampening his pajama pants.

Your heart was nearly beating out of your chest when you called for him. "Simonnnn," you whispered, barely hearing yourself over the roar of the rushing blood in your ears. He grunted in response. "Can we pleaaase cuddle?" He let out a heavy sigh and flipped onto his back, an open invitation for you to move in.

"What is it with you tonight? You're acting way more clingy than usual." He spoke with his eyes closed, wrapping a warm arm around you as you cuddled into his side, knee hiking onto his thigh, arm coming to rest on his chest.

"Sorry, don't know what came over me," you said, trying to control your breathing. Simon's body was so warm and strong under yours. It was now or never. "Simon, can I kiss you?" Your breath had nearly caught in your throat as you asked. You felt Simon's chest stop moving and his heartbeat get faster. Your body shook with anticipation as you waited for his answer.

"I was wondering how long it'd be until you cracked. You haven't really been subtle." He moved to pull you on top of him as he spoke, your legs straddling his hips, hands resting on his chest. You didn't dare sit down, hovering your center over where you assumed his member to be. You lowered your face to his, kissing his soft lips. For such a rough man, his lips were always so soft. You both sighed through the kiss, finding a rhythm. His large hands moved to your hips and pulled you down so that you were sitting on him with all of your weight. You broke the kiss as your body jumped from the sudden contact, your face coming to hide in his neck as you moaned. His thick cock slotted between your folds, hitting your clit in a way that made you shiver.

"I want you. I've always wanted you so bad. Please let me fuck you. I'll make you feel so good," Simon mumbled into your neck as he trailed soft kisses from your shoulder to your jawline.

"I want you, too, Simon," you whispered, smashing your lips together, moaning into the kiss as he rocked your hips back and forth on his now fully hard member.

"Please, Si. I want you inside me," you whined, body shaking as you felt the pressure starting to build in your lower stomach. He lifted your hips enough so that he could pull his sweats down, a wet patch darkening where your core was. You pulled off his shirt and moved to the side to take the pants off, moving right back to hovering over lap. His dick was long and thick, the sight of it made your pussy flutter. He moved to grab something from his side table, "I'm on the pill, we don't have to use one if you don't want to," you said shyly, wanting to feel every part of him inside you raw.

"Fuck." His voice had grown raspy, his movements quick and uncoordinated. He focused in on your breasts, hands coming up to grope and massage them. You flushed and squirmed as he played with your hard nipples, sitting up to lick them. He looked up at you, the moonlight from the window illuminating the highlights of his face and making his glossy eyes and lips practically shine. You kissed him again, pushing him down by his chest. You grabbed his wrist and moved it towards his cock, signing you wanted him to fuck you now. He lined himself up with your tight hole and you sank down on him, bottoming out immediately. You both moaned as he slid into you, his hands gripping the fat of your hips so tight it would leave marks.

The stretch of him inside you was almost too much, stopping just short of pain over pleasure. You shook and lowered yourself to his chest as you got used to the feeling of him, your walls expanding to fit him. You let out soft moans as he throbbed inside of you, tears leaked from the sides of your eyes as your body processed the overwhelming feeling that was Simon. You could tell he was holding back for you, eyes shut as he felt your walls drip and flutter around him, tip leaking precum into you.

When you felt ready, you lifted yourself from his chest and lifted your hips up a couple of inches and slide back down. You could feel your entrance burn with the movement, his head dragging against the ridges of your walls. You did this again and again until you were full on riding him, hips coming up so high his tip threatened nudge out of you, but you came down fast enough that it didn't. You moaned as you felt the coil in your belly start to wind up even tighter. Simon's legs came up so he could thrust up into you, the sound of skin slapping skin filled the room. You held your hips up as he fucked up into you, feeling everything slip away but the feeling of Simon ramming your pussy into oblivion. He grabbed your hips and slammed them down to meet his, the feeling of your clit hitting his skin and his tip hitting the deepest part of you sent you over the edge. You came harder than you ever have before, body shaking uncontrollably as you moaned, reaching out to grab him to get some sort of grounding. His head fell back as he came inside of you, cum dripping out of your pussy. Simon's moans were perfect, deep and sensual. When you came to your senses, he had already pulled out, rubbing your hips where he had been grabbing you. Your hearts thudded quickly in your chests, sweat drying down on your sticky skin.

"Simon?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

You started dating Simon 2 months ago. Not very long, but you've known him for years as your neighbor. He just got back from a mission, you're not sure where he went or what he did. He said he needs more time dating you to get comfortable enough to tell you the details of his job. Either way, you looked way worse than he did getting off your most recent double shift. He was waiting by your door, a bouquet of flowers in hand.

"Hey, Simon," you said tiredly, dragging your heavy feet to him to accept the flowers and give him a peck on the cheek. When the door was unlocked, you pushed your way into the dark living room, leaving all of your belongings on the floor and taking the flowers to the kitchen to put them in a vase of water.

"Goddamn, lovey. I'd assumed you came back from war with the way you look," he said, coming to sit next to you on the couch. You laid your tired head on his shoulder, eyes shutting to relieve the pain from them straining all day.

"I've been working like a dog, Si. It's nice to see you back, though. How long are you home for? My next day off is in 3 days."

"Couple of weeks. We can just spend the day relaxing, don't have to do anything special," he offered. The thought of doing nothing almost made you cry.

"That sounds perfect, but I have to clean. I haven't been able to really clean my house for god knows how long," you said, following it with a yawn.

"Alright. I know you're tired now, so I'm gonna let you get some sleep and we'll talk more tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay."

He helped you stand up and walked you to your bathroom to shower, kissing your head before he left.

"It's nice seeing you, too."

The next three days are even more painfully tiring than normal, knowing Simon wanted to hang out and knowing you had other responsibilities to tend to. It was the morning of your day off when you woke up early than usual for days off and gave Simon a call.

"Good morning, early bird," he greeted, clearly having been up for a while.

"Good morning! What are you up to today?"

"Well, I made a reservation for us at the spa downtown. A couple's package or something. I figured you and I both deserve some relaxing time."

"Simon! You did not have to do that," you said, stunned that he made such an extravagant purchase for you.

"Yes, I did. The appointment is at 10 and they recommend wearing comfortable clothes and bringing a bathing suit for their therapy pool."

"You are amazing and ridiculous and I am paying you back!" The phone call was disconnected before he could reply. You jumped in the shower and made a quick breakfast before heading over to Simon's place. You were neighbors, but you still made sure you had your space and he had his. He answered the door a few seconds after you knocked, not surprising considering the fact that he could walk through the whole apartment in less than a minute.

"I have everything you told me to bring, plus some cash to pay you back for my portion."

"I'm not taking your money." You two had moved into his dining area now, since he was finishing up some tea at the table.

"Please, Simon. I'd feel so guilty if I let you pay all that money."

"It's really no trouble. We're dating now and part of that is buying things for each other. If you really want to pay me back you can pay for our lunch after the spa."

"Fine. Are we taking my car or yours?"

"I'll drive. My truck needs to start getting some miles on it."

"Lead the way."

The drive was smooth, Simon let you pick the music and you held his hand the whole way there. The entire experience felt luxurious, from the private heated recovery pool, to the sauna with infrared lights, the couples massage that had both you and Simon melting simultaneously. Seeing him nearly naked almost made you pass out, your face and chest burning. When the experience was over, you felt like the past few months of working nearly 80 hours a week was massaged out of you.

"Wow, Si. I haven't felt like this since before I picked up my second job."

"I know. I think they worked out knots I didn't even know I had. Worked up my appetite, though. Mind if I pick where we eat?"

"Sure."

He drove you to a cute little cafe that was in a more quiet part of town.

"Why'd you pick this place?"

"The staff is always nice to me, even though I'm not the most sociable person."

"Oh, okay."

They sat you at a booth and you and Simon both ordered fairly quickly due to the small menu. When it was time to pay, you asked for the check.

"Oh! Simon prepaid earlier this morning, tip included! If there's anything else you need, feel free to let me know, otherwise you guys are all set!"

The sweet waitress left and you turned to Simon, squinting.

"You sneaky man. No wonder you said I could pay for lunch!" Your cheeks felt hot, from feeling guilty for Simon paying for another thing and because it was so incredibly considerate it melted your heart. He just smiled and chuckled at your reaction.

"Come on, let's get you home. I know you said you needed to clean."

You thanked Simon a million times in the car ride home, kissing the top of his hand each time you did. You saw a blush creep up his neck and onto his cheeks.

There's one more surprise I have for you, Simon said, as you walked to your front door. Confused, you opened the door to see your apartment spotless.

"I had one of your friends come by to tidy up. I paid them, of course, but I wasn't sure if you'd be comfortable with a cleaning company, so I asked them."

This was your breaking point. You turned and shoved your face into Simon's chest as you cried. You had never known anyone to be so giving and expect nothing in return. He wrapped his strong, warm arms around you while your body shook.

"You didn't have to do all of this, Simon." You couldn't meet his eyes.

"I know, but I wanted to. I know how hard you work and we're still in the early days of dating, so I didn't want to scare you with talk about finances and stuff, so I did this instead."

"Thank you, Simon. This is probably the best day ever." You sniffled as you spoke, wiping your tears.

It wasn't very often that Simon got to stay home with you. It was even less often that he would have a lazy day filled with cuddling, eating, and other mindless tasks while you basked in each others warmth.

Simon promised the night before that today would be a lazy day. Of course, you went to bed giggling, knowing how nice it would be to just hang out with him. You drifted off to sleep after checking both of your guys' phones to make sure all of the alarms were turned off.

When you woke up, the sun was shining through your curtains in a different way than it normally did, signaling that you did in fact get to sleep in and wake up with Simon wrapped around you. You could tell Simon was awake based on his breathing, but his body was still relaxed, the front of his legs pressing into the backs of yours, his arm wrapped around your torso as he spooned you. You wiggled a bit in his grasp, turning to face him when he slightly lifted his heavy arm off of you.

"Morning," he said, voice extra rough.

You didn't respond, just hugged him closer, wanting to cuddle just a little bit longer. You felt his strong heartbeat through the thick muscle of his chest, the smell of his body wash lingered on his skin. You laid with each other for a few more minutes before you decided to look up at him and crane your neck to place a kiss on his jawline. His eyes fluttered open and he offered a small smile, bending down to kiss your forehead.

Brunch consisted of frozen breakfast sandwiches and coffee, not Simon's preferred type of meal, but today was special. You brushed your teeth one at a time, changing into a new set of comfy clothes to lounge in before heading to the living room.

Simon wasn't much of a t.v. person, but there were a couple of shows he'd watch with you on occasion. You grabbed a freshly washed blanket and went to lay on the couch with him. He sat on the long part of the couch, his legs stretched out. You always smile when you remember how hard it was finding a couch that would comfortably fit Simon's frame. You laid down, head on his lap as you watched your show, his hand in yours as you traced the veins, scars, callouses, and curves with your fingertips.

Most of the day was spent like this, aside from the occasional bathroom or snack break. When the sun was starting to set and you felt your hunger start to come back, you turned to Simon to ask what he wanted for dinner.

"Whatever you want, love. My card is in my wallet if you need it."

You decided to order from your guys' favorite restaurant. Fortunately, it wasn't too fancy and they offered delivery. When the food came, you ate on the couch, sharing food and talking about their newest menu items. The great thing about Simon is that he ate a lot, meaning you could order new things or extra things and you knew it would get eaten.

My hands shook with anticipation as I walked into the gym that held my first combat class. I had already completed the prior paperwork, tests, and interviews that led up to this next step of becoming a top-tier detective. I didn't come from much, but even at an early age, I knew I wanted to be a detective.

Something felt off the second I walked into the room where the training would be taking place. I recognized all of the other people in the room as other detectives in training, except for one. His broad back was turned to me. The instructor maybe? I went to walk up to one of my friends when I heard it. The deep, rough voice that I heard change from childhood to young adulthood.

"Nice to see you again."

Shit

~Flashback~

"Simon, how'd you get that bruise on your arm?"

"Ran into the dining table."

I looked into his eyes to see if he was lying, I was good at that. He was.

"Let's go play in your backyard," he said, getting up off of the curb.

I giggled and accepted the hand he held out for me. We were seven.

~Timeskip~

"Hey, isn't that your neighbor?"

"Yes, that's Simon. We don't talk much anymore."

"Why not? He's got this rugged look going on. Kinda cute!"

{Simon's POV}

I felt her and her friend looking at me. I tried my hardest keeping my body cool and not letting her gaze get to me. She made me blush faster than any girl I've ever met and I hated it. Her eyes knew more than I could let on. I couldn't let her know about the abuse and violence and hate. She's too good for that and I knew if I hung around her long enough she'd figure it out.

{End Simon POV}

He didn't know I already knew. I knew since we became neighbors. His dad wasn't quiet with his abuse and the bruises on Simon and his mom's bodies weren't discrete either. I was naive then, but I wasn't stupid. We were thirteen.

~Timeskip~

"Simon, you can't leave!"

"There's nothing left for me here. I have to go do something that means something."

"Nothing left? What about me?"

"What about you? We haven't really been friends since we were 10. Why would I stay here for a potential friendship? For a naive little girl that doesn't know anything about how the world works? You're gonna go get your college credits to be a detective? Good luck. You're clumsy, you reveal yourself too easily to people, you think everything is gonna work out real easy for you. Why? I couldn't tell you. You're nothing special and you're definitely not special enough to keep me in this shithole."

{Simon's POV}

The words burned my throat and tongue as I said them. I didn't mean them, never did. All of the things I said about her were things I adored and I twisted them around to use them against her. I always watched her from afar, knowing I was the one creating distance between us. She always offered a helping hand or listening ear, but the older we got, the more I shut her out. She was a sweet flower in this hell of a life and I couldn't let her get burned because of me. Other than her, there truly wasn't anything left for me. I knew she would keep coming back with too much love in her heart for me, I had to cut it off before I left.

{End Simon POV}

I felt the tears rolling down my burning cheeks before he finished his speech. I knew we had grown apart, but I didn't want to see his name in the paper one day, saying he had died in some bullshit war or never get the chance to see him again. I didn't say anything. There wasn't any point. We were eighteen and it was the last time we spoke.

~Back To Present~

There was an immediate lump in my throat as I turned around to look at his eyes.

"Hello, Simon." I clenched my clammy palms, waiting to hear what he had to say after 2 years of not speaking to each other.

"How've you been?" His hair has been cropped, clearly per the military regulations, and he has more scars than he did before he left. He was always very tall and muscular, but there was a heft to him that he didn't have before. His eyes still told me everything I needed to know.

"Good. I can see you're doing good, too." My walls were already coming down. There was always a soft spot in my heart for Simon, even after all the nasty stuff he said to me.

He crossed his arms over his chest defensively, like I invaded his privacy or something. "Doing well enough to be your instructor today. Boss said I get extra time off if I train some classes for government trainees."

"Right. Well, maybe we can talk after class or something."

Simon didn't say anything, just moved to the center of the mats to begin the training.

~Timeskip~

I high-fived my training partner with a sweaty hand as we both panted from sparring and the high-intensity cardio Simon said was for "stamina." I saw Simon walking towards the exit of the gym and jogged to catch up to him.

"Hey, I thought we were gonna talk?"

"No, you suggested we talk and I didn't reply."

I scoffed at his rude reply, the pain from what he said before bubbling in my chest.

"You know, for someone who owes me an apology, you're being a real dickhead!" That made him stop in his tracks. He turned his body to face mine and squinted at me.

"An apology?"

"Yes! You don't remember all the shit you said to me two years ago?"

"Oh. That. Well, I'm not sorry. It's all still true and if I knew you were in this class I would've missed out on the time off."

The same crushing pain I felt in my chest two years ago came flooding back into my body.

"Fuck this." I whipped my body around and marched to the other exit in the gym, willing the tears in my eyes to not fall. This is the last time I would shed tears over Simon Riley for a long time.

{Simon's POV}

Having to lie and hurt her like that felt like swallowing molten iron. It was more imperative now than ever that she keep her distance. The jobs they had me doing were more top-secret and there was talk of me joining a team called 141. I couldn't let her into that world. She would be safer as just a detective. God, after two years of seeing her in my dreams and nightmares, I hoped if I ever saw her again it would've gone better than this.

{End Simon POV}

~Timeskip~

At the time, I really didn't know that what I was doing was going to fuck me over so hard. There weren't any signs. No warnings. Only people barging into my house at 3am, binding my arms and mouth with tape, and throwing me into a van.

I was the only thing in the back of the van, closed off to the world as I bumped against the sides. My eyes were wide, trying to take in as much information as possible. I had been so shocked I didn't scream or get a good look at my captors. When we finally reached our destination, I noticed the people taking me into a gray building with no markers were wearing tact gear. Military. I shook as the lead me to a room with a table and two chairs. They sat me down and walked out of the room, but a man wearing what I could only assume was a high-ranking officer uniform came in with a computer. He sat down in front of me and I tried to read his eyes, but found nothing. His name tag read "Shepherd."

"What am I doing here?!" I tried shouting to seem less pathetic, but my voice cracked and had no real strength behind it.

"You've been sticking your nose in places it doesn't belong. With people that have committed several life-sentences worth of crime."

"What? I don't know what you're talking about." My tears streaked down my face, the adrenaline starting to wear off.

"Oh, but you do." He opened his computer and turned it towards me. On the screen was all of the work I had been conducting, trying to investigate a certain company that dealt with military grade weapons and machinery.

"I was asked to do that! M-my boss assigned me to investigate this case!"

"Well, your boss is a traitor and you've been doing work for terrorists."

"No, that can't be right! All the information I've found has been Allied-based!"

"You're not as bright as your work makes it seem. You've been finding out top-secret information for those terrorists! Information that could get all of us killed!" He slammed his hand down on the table, making me jump out of my seat.

"I promise I didn't know. He told me it was a sensitive case and to just get him the information he needed." I was sobbing at this point, not knowing what would happen to me.

He grilled me for hours until he was sure I wasn't in on the plan. Then, more men came in and they taped my arms and legs to the chair. I didn't fight them, because the pistols on their hips were at eye-level and I knew better, especially after being accused of being a terrorist.

Once they knew the tape wasn't going to budge, the videos started. Videos of people getting massacred, tortured, and any terrible thing you could image to a person. Shepherd told me that was my fate if I didn't join his team as a federal agent. I knew too much and he wouldn't hesitate putting me on a plane to let the terrorists decide what to do with me. With every gun shot, every blood splatter, every knife movement, every flame flicker, I felt my spirit die. Like everything within me was wilting from all the evil I was watching. I knew people were bad, but this killed me from the inside out.

The special forces training built me back up as much as it could. I learned how to fight better, how to shoot a gun, how to hack into any electronic device, how to talk, how to live. I wasn't the same person who was kidnapped at 3am. I had to cut basically all contact from friends and family, other than an untraceable call at random. All the contents of my apartment had been searched and only the "necessary" items were sent to my new home. A military base. I didn't think about Simon. I didn't think about anyone. Only the mission at hand. Until I heard his voice again.

"Y/N?" My mind registered the voice, but I didn't care to react. I continued to type on my computer, trying to finish the paperwork needed to close out a mission we recently finished.

"Y/N." I felt his heavy hand on my shoulder. I still didn't react until I was done.

"Hello, Sergeant." I stood up from my chair and faced him straight-on. I didn't look deeply into his eyes looking for information like I normally, did. I just studied his general appearance.

"What the actual fuck are you doing here?" He asked, face showing more emotion than I had ever seen before.

"I work for Shepherd as a federal agent. I have for the last three years." I showed no emotion on my face, there was no need to. The need to be emotional and tenderhearted left me long ago.

"If you'll excuse me, Sergeant. I have papers that need to be delivered to Shepherd."

"I'll come with you, I need to have a word with that man."

"Alright." I walked with a stoic confidence I didn't have before. My hair was done tightly, my shoulders were back, and my uniform was immaculate. Before I knocked on Shepherd's office door, I turned to Simon.

"I understand now. If this is what you had gone through and knew you were going to go through, I wouldn't have wanted to rope anyone else into it either. I am not upset at you." I knocked on the door and walked in, quietly setting the papers down and walking out, back to my desk. I didn't have anymore time to waste on Simon, even that 1 minute used in interacting with him could've been used better elsewhere.

{Simon's POV}

You were a resource officer for your base. This meant you had to do presentations quite often to remind people of their resource options and help people renew things like mental health awareness/suicide prevention training and general screenings. You were no stranger to being in rooms of men you did and didn't know. After a while you got to make a few friends and you had people visit your office quite often to chat or find out resource information. Being in the military also meant new people coming and old people going all the time, but when task force 141 came to your base temporarily, it was different.

It didn't take you long to notice the whispers and gossip, hushed voices in hallways and the giggles of women in the dining hall. You knew a high profile task force was at your base temporarily, but you didn't know much else until you received orders to give them a presentation on your base's resources and to renew a couple of their training certifications. They weren't available until the next week, so you went about your week normally, until you heard it. "Oh my god, he is so big," you heard a woman say in the hall. Normally you weren't so nosey, but you wanted to hear more. "I know, but that mask kinda freaks me out," you heard another voice say. Mask? "I think it's hot! I hope they stay for a while, I'd like to sink my teeth into at least one of them," the first voice said. Where they talking about the new task force? They walked down the hall and you strained to hear more but couldn't.

After that encounter, you couldn't help but eavesdrop anytime you could, casually asking coworkers and friends if they knew anything. The more you learned, the more nervous you got. You learned that Soap was a goofball, Gaz was a flirt, Price was kinda old and boring, and that Ghost was a wall of stoic muscle who was only seen wearing a skull mask. Your presentation with them was approaching and you could feel your anxiety approaching with each day that passed.

When the day finally came, you walked briskly to their presentation room, hands clammy. You were greeted by Price, who led you into the room from the hallway into a bleak room that had old folding chairs and a dinky projector screen. You knew who Ghost was immediately, you could tell by the way he made the chair look like a miniature version and how his hulking shoulders covered a much wider expanse than his team members. You could tell even with his uniform that he had hard muscles underneath his clothes. They all turned to look at you when you entered and you felt your face heat up.

You were no stranger to the fact that you were short and fat, not that it bugged you, it was just a fact of life. For some reason, having all those eyes, especially Ghost's, made you feel much more insecure than you normally did. They didn't say anything, just trailed your frame as you scurried to the front of the room. You cleared your throat, "Hi, I'm the base's resource officer. I'm gonna be telling you guys a little bit about the resources available to you here and then renew your mental health awareness/suicide prevention training, but that will be done individually." Soap was the first to speak, almost making you jump, "Go on then, pal," he smiled sweetly at you, slightly easing your nerves. You gave your presentation, stuttering at times, feeling the way Ghost's eyes bore into you. You were too aware of your body, your hair, your facial expressions, how much you were sweating just in his presence. It made you feel strange. What was it about him? You don't even know him and he's making you feel like you're in middle school again. You didn't know how you were supposed to do a one-on-one interview with him and not pass out.

When you were done with your presentation, everyone thanked you at the same time, but you could hear how Ghost's voice was deeper than anyone else's. It made you shiver. They all filed out of the room, leaving just you and Price to start. You gave him the mental health awareness pamphlet, asked how he was doing mentally, asked if he knew anyone who was struggling with their mental health or may be struggling, and then gave him a computer to use to fill out a mandatory screener and prevention test. You didn't more than needed and neither did he, but it didn't feel awkward, just calm. Next came Kyle and you did the same thing, except he was a lot more chatty than Price. He asked for your first name, how long you had been on base, and if you wouldn't mind showing him around. You giggled and told him you'd have to hang out on base a few more times before you were comfortable showing him your favorite spots, and he agreed. It seems like he took the hint that you only wanted to be friendly, nothing more. Then came Johnny and he couldn't stop with the jokes. They weren't mental health related, thank god, but his time with you took 10 minutes longer than the rest of the guys because he was such a chatter box. It really did help to relieve your jitters, until you remembered you still had to be alone with Ghost.

Carnivore!Simon x Herbivore!Reader

Simon is a large carnivore, so being with an herbivore can look pretty intimidating to outsiders

Fortunately for both of you, Simon has learned how to control and suppress his urges to eat flesh. He kills people regularly for work, so the scent of blood and pheromones don't get to him as much as the normal carnivore

He would never make you feel weak or like prey. He understands and recognizes the issues you face as an herbivore and he does whatever he can to make sure you know you're powerful and strong

You would be lying if you didn't enjoy being taken over sometimes, there's just something about the way his canines drag over your throat that makes your body light up in ways an herbivore could never do

It's hard when it comes time to get more serious about your relationship, even people you don't know think they have a say in what's best for you, but you work through it

Simon makes sure that whenever he's feeling extra worked up or protective, he calms down first before getting physically close to you. He knows the level of self-control he has, but he would hate it if he accidentally hurt or scared you. He loves your big, hyper-aware eyes and he would hate if they looked at him with fear or disgust

You like biting him, even if it doesn't leave any marks

Herbivore!Simon x Carnivore!Reader

Don't let Simon's "prey" status fool you, he's the most aggressive herbivore you've ever met

Simon is very freaky, he loves it when you mark him up with your claws or fangs, it makes him feel light-headed knowing you could kill him with one hard bite

He also likes being dominant, knowing he has the power to control a carnivore's body in such a way

Simon will absolutely fight anyone who thinks they have the right to talk poorly to you because of your relationship dynamic

He refuses to let you feel any less feminine because you're a carnivore and encourages you to let your guard down so he can take care of you, but never in a condescending way, he knows you can hold your own

Instead of being embarrassed or ashamed of being an herbivore with a carnivore, he is even more self-assured. He can only imagine the level of control you must have to be with him and that effort alone proves to him you love him