Staying On Edge

i am here to use this space to journal. oftentimes i have so many things running through my mind that i just need a place to put it.

i created a side blog to reblog posts in order to keep this page just my own writing. Please follow along to see what sort of things make me want to edge.

@sickfuckpig

about me: i am inferior. i am an denial slut. i do not cum. especially without permission. i know my place. i belong on my knees serving my superiors.

i edge. a lot. or as often as time allows. i usually spend my free time scrolling porn on here and Reddit with my fingers on my cunt, rubbing until it drools and i feel shame and guilt.

disclaimer: this shouldn’t need to be said because it’s 2026 but, do not send me dick pics. i’m sure it’s nice but i don’t want to see it. you will be blocked without warning‼️

now i must go edge.

I will update this post regularly with current status.

Monthly edge tracker:

May total: 91 edges

June total: 108 edges

It’s officially August. My edging goal has increased yet again.

Just to recap, in the month of June, I edged a total of 108 times. For July, I surpassed that amount and edged 129 times! That means August will be more difficult to achieve.

But I’m up for the challenge. It’s only the second day of the month and I’ve already edged 9 times. If I edge 4 times a day in average, I’ll make my goal this month.

I officially made my monthly edging goal! 🎉

In case you’re new here, I set myself a monthly goal a few months ago to edge as much as I can each month to beat the previously month’s total. I keep track of every edge to make sure I am counting properly.

As a quick recap: in May I edged 91 times and in June I edged 108 times which made July a tad bit harder to accomplish. Even with taking several days off from edging due to cumming earlier this month and going through a “breakup”, I still managed to beat my goal.

Including today, I have 7 days left of the month to complete 28 edges. This is doable considering I could do an average of 4 a day to get it done. But it’s been sooo difficult lately to get myself in the horny frame of mind to want to even touch myself.

Last night, I managed to edge 3 times in the shower and once later on while playing video games. Now that it’s Saturday, I hope to get my hand on my cunt often to make up for some lost time this past week of not edging at all.

There’s been a mental block. Since cumming over a week ago, I have had such a hard time getting back on track. I’ve been struggling to stay consistent. After things ended with a previous arrangement, I wanted to take some time to rest and recover from the lengthy denial. But it’s very clear to me that I miss the structure and discipline. I need to give up control so I don’t have to think about it anymore. I just need to be told to edge. I need to be told how many times each day. I need to be held accountable for not completing a simple task.

So last week, I came accidentally on purpose. I was going through some things and got so overwhelmed in the moment that once I hit the edge, it was impossible to stop so I kept going, knowing the whole time I didn’t want it.

Since I came, that reset my denial streak. I made it 82 days. It would have been 86 if I held off until I had sex this past weekend. Now the denial streak restarts as of yesterday.

I am 2 days into a new denial period and haven’t edged in 3 days. My current July edge count is 76. My monthly goal has been to beat the previous month’s total. For July, I need to edge more than June’s total of 108 times. It is the 20th today, meaning I have 11 days to edge at least 33 times.

So after the accidentally on purpose orgasm the other day, I knew immediately I wasn’t going to find the horny side of me for a while. This always happens after I cum. And why I prefer long term denial.

Yesterday I was off from work and decided to see how I felt about trying to push myself back into it. It took nearly all day. Finally in the afternoon, I forced myself to rub.

I rubbed for almost 45 minutes straight before I could reach the edge. It never takes me that long. I knew after 15 minutes that it wasn’t going to be easy but I forced myself to keep going.

My clit was raw and sore when I finally hit the edge. I didn’t even feel horny afterward. No urge to edge again. It just felt gone. I hate it. I hate it so much.

Being denied is my purpose. I was starting to feel lost and wonder what my true purpose was and it became clear when I didn’t feel anything after one long and painful edge. Denial is my purpose.

I ended my denial early. It was partly an accident but partly on purpose.

I’m taking a break from denial for a while to focus on myself. Get a clear head and figure out what I want to do next.

I have made it to 80 days of denial. This is so great!

My first goal was 30 days. My second goal is 100 days. The goal after that is unknown. Maybe 200 days. Then maybe 365. Ideally I want it to be never. That has always been my end goal. But we shall see.

The longer I’m denied, the more desperate I become.

It’s hot as fucking balls outside these last few days and I’ve been riding the struggle bus hard. I don’t know if it’s age related (hello perimenopause) or if I’ve just had it with humidity, but man, I just want to jump into an ice bath or maybe I could use a blizzard right about now.

The heat does come with some perks though. It’s the perfect excuse to walk around the house practically naked. And an even easier way to show off my tits for Daddy without having to sneak around at work just to send him peeks.

I hit my May edge count with a few days to spare, and then exceeded that number tonight. It really excites me because now July will be even harder to beat.

I’ve officially hit 108 edges for the month of June. That’s a crazy number to me! But I’m proud of achieving it. I edged nearly every single day this month. Only missed 2 days total. But I more than made up for it!

Now the next round of fun begins…exceeding 108 edges in the month of July. Think I can do it?

I think I’m in heat. I’ve been edging all day. Working to exceed my edge count from May. I’ve officially surpassed that number and working toward at least 100 edges for this month.

My clit is raw. I am dripping and desperate to cum. I’m so needy and want daddy to force himself into his hole while telling me over and over that I will never cum.

I’m just curious - when you’re edging, why do you ruin? In my opinion, if you go far enough to ruin, you are cumming. Plain and simple. To me that resets the denial period.

I just can’t understand how the feelings of a ruined orgasm aren’t in any way considered an actual orgasm.

I have officially made it to 60 days of denial! There have been days I found it a little difficult, but it’s been very rewarding at the same time.

Giving control of my orgasms away was the best decision I could have ever made for myself. My pleasure is out of my hands. It’s fully controlled by someone else.

To edge everyday without release has been, HARD! But I know I shouldn’t cum. Especially without permission. There is a very good chance I will not cum for a very, very long time. If ever. Not if he has anything to say about it.

I always dread this day. It’s been very hard for many years. I avoid the Father’s Day advertisements, the promotional emails around the day, the social media posts from all the family and friends wishing all the fathers well.

This year is different. Today, I don’t feel depressed. I don’t feel sadness. I don’t feel the dread that always leads to this day.

Without giving too much detail, because I like to keep my private life private, today feels freeing. For the first time in years, I have been able to let go and be myself and open up and share my vulnerabilities.

It’s just about half way through the month of June - the month of denial dedication committing to no orgasms. Of course for me, this is easy because I don’t cum. But the challenge I set for myself this month was to do more edges than I did in the month of May.

As of today, June 14th, I have completed 41 edges (so far). If I keep this pace, I will be on track to do more than last month which was 91.

Resisting the urge to cum is hard. But it’s been very enjoyable riding that edge. I think I’ll have no problem succeeding at doing more than last month.