Economics of Happiness

The quote “enjoy the little things in life because one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things” has always resonated with me. I’ve learned that the things that make me the happiest are never the grand gestures, but rather the simple ones like grabbing a drink with a friend. With this in mind, I decided to do something simple yet sweet for my boyfriend. He works for campus recreation so he has to do a lot of manual labor outside. I decided to bring him a boba from ShareTea while he was working to help him get through the recent heat. Seeing the surprise and happiness on his face immediately made me happy myself. It reminded me again that it’s truly the little things that count. I made his day with a $4.50 drink.

I think that you should still be kind to someone who seems mean or rude because reciprocating back will only make things worse. People are more inclined to be kind to you if you are kind to them and vice versa. Based on personal experience, I tend to want to be kind to those who express gratitude towards me because it’s nice to feel appreciated. I see myself doing this at least twice 2 month because I love making others happy.

This spring quarter has been one of the hardest quarters yet, as I have had personal problems arise as the quarter began. Honestly, I lost a lot of hope in being happy as crazy as that sounds. I never been an unhappy person, so this was something I was unfamiliar with. Coincidentally, I was taking this course- Economics of Happiness. This assignment gave me a really good reason to go out there and make someone else happy and I was all hands on deck! I always believed in doing acts of kindness because it makes the world a better place. And this quarter, I felt like since I was never in the right state of mind, I wasn’t too great of a person that was randomly kind. I knew other people who were going through the same things I was going through as we have experienced the quarter together, therefore I decided to make care packages for them.

The thought of care packages have always been such a great concept to me. Care packages show to the other people that you care bout them and that you want them to take care of themselves. How I went about this was that I went on a grocery shopping spree finding snacks and drinks to put into boxes for my friends that were going through a tough time.

I also decorated the box with felt letters and hand written them a note for each basket encouraging them to stay strong and other words of encouragement. This activity brought a lot of attention to me that a small act of kindness can make all the difference in the world for someone. When I handed my friends the boxes, they were so excited and thanked me so much. But just seeing that they were smiling meant a lot to me.

With everything being said, I am really glad this assignment was assigned to encourage others to go about their way to be kind. I know that everyone can be going through a tough time and a random act of kindness can give them hope that there are people who care about them. I definitely see myself doing this again because just knowing that it helped lifted my moods as well.

Yesterday I attended the Davis Bernie Sanders rally. During the rally someone short was taking a video and couldn't see above anyone's shoulders. Unfortunately her video was not recording. I informed her of the mistake and she pushed record. she was very greatful I noticed this and informed her. I believe that to help people on a regular basis takes a little effort. Because situations to help a stranger don't really present themselves on your lap. You have to be able to "see" these opportunities and act on them. Hopefully I can get better at doing this in the future, noticing the needs of others and doing little things to make them and myself feel better

I believe that one should act kindly towards someone that seems mean or rude because maybe he or she just had a tough day and perhaps one can make his or her day simply by being nice and kind to him or her. However, like most people, my tendency to be kind is definitely heavily influenced by whether or not the other person expresses gratitude because I would like to see that my hard work being appreciated. Honestly, I can see myself doing something nice and selfless like this again as long as I know that the person really appreciates what I have done for me even if they don't openly express it.

This Wednesday, June 1st, was my very last Staff Meeting of the year for my position with Student Housing.  This meant that this gathering could very well be the final time that all seven of my RAs and I would be together in the same moment.  To commemorate all of their hard work and show my appreciation towards them, I decided that I was going to use a portion of my paycheck to order everyone’s favorite pizza, so that we can enjoy a nice meal to accompany our meeting agenda.

I thought of this idea on Monday, May 30th, because I was brainstorming of a way to make my staff members feel special and to pick them up from the stress that Finals Season brings along.  I decided on throwing a pizza party because in the past, I have already written them all thank you cards as well as affirmation notes and so, I wanted to do something different to avoid becoming a broken record.  I e-mailed everyone to ask for pizza topping suggestion and five of the seven replied back.  On the day of the meeting, I ordered all of the pizza requested and some breadsticks as an appetizers.

Most of my staff members were extremely appreciative of the gesture and excited when the pizza arrived.  Even so, I noticed that some of my RAs forgot that this was happening and brought in their own dinner from the Dining Commons and one in particular, who acted as if buying the whole staff pizza was a part of my job.  Overall, I felt really happy that I was in a position to do something nice for others and that the food was bringing job, no matter how small, to people that I truly care about.

Personally, I feel that I should still act kindly (to an extent) to those who are rude or mean.  I would still treat them with respect and do something kind for them if it was convenient for me to do so, but I wouldn’t exactly jump through fire to make them feel extra special.  Being deserving of kindness is something that I really take into consideration - life is unfair enough as it is, I don’t want to contribute to the list of “good things happening to ‘bad’ people.”  Another factor is gratitude and although I try to keep the mindset of doing things for others without expecting anything back; when someone shows appreciation, I am definitely more prone to wanting to go the extra mile for them.  

To be honest, I enjoyed this activity because it really wasn’t anything extra that I had to do in my week.  I was going to do something special for my staff, regardless of this assignment.  I didn’t have to think hard reflecting upon what to do; in fact, I had trouble deciding which act I should eventually write about.  Kind acts are a solid part of my life, both by receiving and by giving.

So my birthday just passed and a few of my housemates and friends surprised me with a cake at midnight and decorated my room and planned various little details throughout the day that made me feel really special. I of course thanked them and felt super grateful, but wanted to do something extra to show them how much I appreciated them. Finals are of course coming up and everyone is really stressed so I decided to go out to Target and buy them something for encouragement. I just turned 21 so I decided to get a pack of mini champagne bottles and thank you notes. I wrote each of them a thank you card saying how much I appreciated them and wished them good luck on finals and left it on their desk. No one knew I was doing this, nor were they expecting it so they came home to the surprise. They were all so excited and happy when they saw the notes and said their day had been made. Seeing them get happy made me feel really happy too. I would definitely do this again because simple details can brighten anyone’s day. 

I think you should always try to be nice to people. Even if someone seems mean or rude, you don’t know what’s been going on in his or her life that has possibly caused this attitude. Either way, a simple smile can put any person in a better mood. I definitely do feel that if someone shows gratitude toward something I did, I’m more inclined to do something nice for them again. If they don’t express gratitude, it does decrease my probability of doing something nice for this person again, but I never regret it. Regardless of their reaction, doing things for others always makes me feel good inside. 

-Maria M

On Thursday night I was fortunate enough to attend the 2016 NBA finals in Oakland, CA where there Golden State Warriors played the Cleveland Cavaliers for the first game in the series. Throughout the whole night, many fans were taking pictures, videos, snapchats, and the like in order to document and preserve the moment for the future. During the night I offered to take many pictures of fans sitting around the seats that my father and I (pictured above) were sitting in. This small act of kindness prompted individuals to offer to take pictures of myself with my father.

I believe that these small gestures can go a long way, and I believe that there are mutual psychological benefits. I believe that, regardless of an individual's attitude or mood at the time, it is at the very least self-beneficial to do an act of kindness because it can make you feel good to offer your help. I know this was true when I offered and was asked to take pictures of other fans at the Warriors game. 

That being said, a large factor of this benefit comes from the way in which people respond to the favor. Due to the electric and exciting environment at the game, most people were nice, friendly, and excited when offering to do something for them, and then being friendly about it. 

I believe that maintaining a positive and optimistic outlook on life and other people simultaneously contributes to self-happiness.

Over this past weekend I attended the boutique festival Lightning in a Bottle. The best way to explain it would be an in between Coachella and Burning Man. This comparison is important because it says a lot about the culture of this festival.

Lightning in a Bottle is not a music festival, its an experience festival. You go there to grow as a human being. You go there to meet new friends and try new experiences. What’s important is that you participate.

On the first day of this event there was a wooden statue. The statue was leaning over as if it was pondering over the meaning of life. Around this statue were four shrines each asking the participant to do something different. Around one side was a jar entitled “Random Acts of Kindness.” You took one and you wrote one, and it was up to the discretion of the person to fulfill it. Mine was “Buy a stranger dinner” 

That night I did just that. While waiting in line for my own meal I handed the cashier an extra $12 to help pay for the next persons meal. To be honest I didn’t wait around to see their reaction but it made me feel essentially very full in my heart. Later on Sunday evening, I was lost by myself at a music stage when I met two really sweet girls. They invited me to spend my time dancing with them. To me this was good Karma enough. I spent four to five hours hanging out with complete strangers. To have seen my act of kindness returned through other means really reinforced my good feelings about this festival. Everyone was kind, all the time.

Lightning in a Bottle made me realize the joys in doing acts of kindness for others with no expectations of gratitude in return. Something that I will work towards implementing into my daily routine.  -Mona K

As I was pulling up to the parking lot, I noticed a woman and a young girl sitting at one of the tables outside of Panda Express. They weren’t eating anything, just sitting. I parked and walked over to the entrance and the woman told me that they were very hungry but have no money. I observed them and they didn’t seem homeless to me. I know it is bad to judge people from the outside, but it seemed weird to me. They were wearing dresses and even their nails were painted. The young girl even had perfume or some type of fragrance on! I received a weird feeling about it, and wondered why they would ask a college student such as myself for food. Maybe they saw what I drove and thought I had money. I stopped thinking so much, and focused on doing what’s right. I do not know their circumstances and I had the resources to buy them food, so why not? I brought the girl in with me and told her to order whatever she wanted.

She thanked me. I watched her as she gazed at the options presented in front of her. She was able to choose things quite quickly as if she was a frequenter of this place. Then she did something that ticked me off. She wanted to get extra entrees on the side aside from the two 3-entree combos that she was already getting. I told her that she couldn’t because it was enough food already and after all, I AM a college student with a budget. She also replied with “Large” when the cashier asked her if she wanted a soda. I knew  I said she could order whatever she wanted, but she seemed a bit too greedy.  I wanted to gain a good feeling, but I felt like very used. Maybe she wanted to take advantage of this opportunity and order as much as she could, but she wasn’t being considerate. After all, I am eating at Panda Express with sweatpants on.

After she got her food, she went outside and back to the table where her mom was waiting for her. They didn’t speak another word to me after that. I couldn’t help but continue to watch them as I sat inside and ate my food. I had mixed feelings, a bad aftertaste in my mouth mixed with a jolly feeling in my heart for being kind.If the situation were to occur again, I would be willing to help them out if I had the extra money to. I just wouldn’t help these two again.

If someone was mean or rude in the beginning, I don’t think I would help them out. Approach is so important. The level of gratitude from this experience was definitely lacking, but it doesn’t affect the possibility of me being kind in a future event. I always get a good feeling after doing something kind, regardless of the outcome.

Side note: aside from being kind to others, a lot of us also tend to forget to be kind to ourselves too. A tad bit of kindness can mean so much in a world as cruel as ours.

Personally, I think kindness is (ideally) supposed to be selfless. That’s not to say that feeling good about showing kindness to someone else is wrong, but that shouldn’t be the reason that I do it. I think that mentality helps when I run into a situation where it’s harder to show kindness to someone because they’re mean or rude, or when they don’t express gratitude. Ultimately, it’s not about me.

Since the beginning of the year, the people in my staff have always given each other notes either for good lucks or just a little “I appreciate you and you’re great card.” I never had the time to actually make cards for the past quarters so I just sent out quick texts, which I think were not as personal as I wanted them to be.

As of recently, I took on a routine stroll down towards the nearby field to watch the sunset once the sweltering heat died down. It was a normal day of classes and I was more tired than usual because of my decision to cut back on caffeine. Admittedly, the lack of coffee had me feeling more off than usual - it was hard not to be a crab when drowsy. I wasn’t expecting to stumble across someone I knew at the field that day.

It was a friend of mine. She was teary eyed and focused on the swirling hues of pink and orange in the horizon. I approached her cautiously, and it led to more than I could have ever imagined. By coincidence, I was in the same place and time and able to give her the emotional support she needed that she would not normally look to me for. We were friends, but not on a deeper level prior to that encounter. One chance encounter and I suddenly became a pillar of strength for her the following weeks (and in the present). She found herself either  reeling from heartbreak or “numb.” She was afraid of what she felt and didn’t feel. 

It was draining initially. 

I wasn’t in the right state myself to be a pillar of strength, but I knew I couldn’t leave her in that moment - nor could I deny the support she sought the next following instances. Our interactions became daily - I told her anytime she needed, I would be there and soon she began texting me frequently updating me on her moods. At times, when it became too much, we would meet in person and end up in the same spot of our first chance encounter.  Emotions come in waves; some were high-tide days where it came crashing down onto her, and other days things were calmer. 

Throughout her progress, I found myself becoming more invested. There were instances that I questioned whether becoming her unofficial therapist was the right thing when I knew that I had my own mess to deal with. At one point, I was at a loss as to how to approach being a source of support when I felt I could hardly handle my own emotional baggage. Then, suddenly it began to fill me with a sense of fulfillment to witness her emotional journey, and to know that I became a part of it. Her gratitude wasn’t necessary, but her expression of gratitude made me realize what the full extent of my presence became in her time of need. I saw her internal struggle. I witnessed the truth of the waves of emotions. 

And, it all inspired me. I had my own emotional baggage. I was a mess myself, but as I became a means of support and a staple in her journey - I found myself whisked away on my own journey of progress. 

I think people should be kind and act kind to people who seem mean or rude but there is a breaking point. I think this goes hand in hand with the idea of being influenced by whether people express their gratitude. For example, if I’m always being nice to you and you’re always mean or bitter and don’t express your gratitude then I’m going to get tired of being nice to you. And it’s not to say I do nice things because I want something in return but a simple smile or a thank you is all I need. We all have our off days and some are better than others so, sure we should be nice to people who seem mean or rude. As the saying goes: “kill them with kindness”.

Recently I was hired at the Coffee House, where I have met many individuals who are outgoing and many who are more reserved, rarely talk or ask for help. A few days ago, a coworker was having trouble carrying a large, heavy box and I could see that she was struggling so she decided to place the box down and went looking for an alternative way to transport it. So I decided to grab the box and take it to the area she was working at. She saw and thanked me in a quiet and shy way. It was so adorable. I smiled and went back to my station.

On that same day, another coworker had left his butter to melt in a pot while he went to work on other things. The butter began to boil and as I saw it, I quickly turned off the stove for him. I didn’t tell him but had he not come back right away the butter could have been burnt- or whatever happens to butter when it boils.

We make choices in everything we do each and everyday. In a world of evil and greed, where money dictates many of the decisions we make, one could easily lose himself and become self-absorbed, not caring about a single thing that doesn’t revolve around him. Perhaps everything we do for others could trace back to wanting something in return, whether that’s respect, honor, or other rewards. However doing good shouldn’t always come with an expectation or reciprocity for something back. Sometimes doing good just comes from being an understanding person, treating other people with respect and kindness and the little things like holding the door for someone. Helping others as an act of kindness doesn’t have to be large gestures that require an arm and a leg, but just an integration of those acts into your daily routines. Being inclusive to everyone and making people feel visible are something that I truly value as acts of kindness.