create!

is not just another way to say you have feelings

nor is it something completely undefinable

it means you are breathtakingly aware 

of the curved and edges and jagged parts of your partner

and know that they fit together with yours; you salve their rough patches; they unravel your coiled ropes—the ones that tighten down across your chest when it has been a hard night and you’re a little too close to morning and the brink of something dreadful to rest—

not perfectly, but it feels like a dream regardless. 

as humans do you hide some thoughts and desires with the intention of them never seeing the light of day 

(or her eyes)

wrapping them up in yourself so tight you cannot take a breath without fear of shattering the force of your will that holds them so close, so secret and you will never be able to release, never be able to release—

until the tumblers slide and click into place with the slow, sure inevitability of the movement of two meshed gears or the tectonic plates

—and you exhale and they are shed from your body and crumple into her hands which cradle them, soothe them, stroke them as if they were her own

and somehow, afterwards she acts like she didn’t just completely, impossibly, magnificently halt the movement of a subducting tectonic plate and looks up at you with the knowledge of your self that you do not give out (your mind is not a charity) and her gaze is clear and you finally know, you’ve been searching for so long and you finally know and you found the answer here, in this moment—as you sit loose and unraveled and settled; in her eyes that you know to be the ones that will always hold your gaze and never flinch away; in her hands that cradle both of your own and your deepest secrets; in her beauty that colors every little thing about your universe a slightly different shade now that she’s here and you know

“in love” does not have the depth to contain the lexicon of your shared world

“in love” holds a gravity—perhaps of our earth, of our sun, of a distant star

(of two tectonic plates, closing the distance)

and that gravity is terrifying and maybe it actually is a little undefinable

(perhaps the romcoms and poets and magazines were right)

but you know it is present and are absolutely sure of it despite there being no certainty in science nor this universe

i wonder what would happen if i told you about the cave. would you recoil in disgust; after all, who am i to be unhappy? would you think that everything is your fault? flinging apology after apology into the dark and bearing alone the mantle of our shared mistakes. the mantle of our shared mistakes the mantle of

no. that’s wrong They Are

mine

I drift out of the open hallway into the hall and through the bones of the house that hasn’t had a body for a very long time.

my bones are the ones grounded in feeling without a form; void of physicality floating free.

All the house had was their forms.

I remember they used to dance along to my waves and sing among my starry skies

those days were long and the years too short.

they left. but still I play filling the skeleton of a house once full; warming the floors that used to be cared for just so; and bringing emotion back to the silence.