E

I come up from doing a few laps in the pool, stepping up the stairs. Billy walked towards me with a towel in hand.

“Looking good out there Ms. Y/L/N.” I smirk, taking the towel from his hands, dabbing at the water on my face and hairline.

“Thank you,”

“Perfect form, and that suit is marvelous.” he winks.

“Well your form is marvelous,” I say making him blush, “I mean, you are a great teacher, teaching lessons to the kids-”

“You know, I could uh. I could teach you if you like?”

“Oh?”

“Yes, well, I know all the styles.” he looked me up and down, opening a piece of gum. Setting his free hand to follow the strap of the bikini dangerously close to cupping my breast. “Free style, um Butterfly, and Breast stroke.” I watch him breach his soft lips slipping the gum into his mouth, accidentally dropping the towel in my hands.

“Oops.” I bend over, picking up the towel slowly. So he can see the arch of my back and the space between my bathing suit and breasts. “I didn’t know you offered adult lessons.”

“Well you know, I offer advanced lessons to a select clientele. Come to think of it, there's a good pool out at uh, Motel 6 on Cornwallis. Very quiet, you know, very private. Should we say tonight, 8 o’clock.”

“Wouldn’t this be the 4th time this week Mr. Hargrove? I don’t think there’s anything left to teach me.” I brush my hands on his chest toying with the whistle around his neck.

“Oh you see that’s where you're wrong I think there are plenty of things left to do. I just don’t think I’ve pushed you hard enough.” leaning into the tease, brushing up my arm leaving goosebumps even in the damp heat of summer.

“Well I need to-”

“It will be the workout of your life.” he cut me off,

“I will need your help deciding what to wear, you have such impeccable taste.” I ran my hand down my side over the hem of the swim bottoms, knowing it drove him crazy looking at the light trail of hair disappearing into my swim bottoms along my pelvis.

“A tease you are,” he pulls my waist to him, kissing me deeply for everyone at the pool to see how taken we are with each other. My fingertips dip into his waistband, distracting him while my tongue dips into his mouth, snatching the gum and pulling back quickly. "Oh a thief too, I see your game." I blow a bubble, smacking the gum and twisting out of his arms to hold his hands.

“Gotta hit the showers, California, perhaps a rain check? I’ll find you before I leave!” winking and popping the gum one last time, skipping to cool off from the hot sun in the women's locker room. 

Grabbing a fresh towel and some soap from my locker I pull the curtain taut. Letting the water run over my suit, unsticking it with all the chlorine and sunscreen. Hanging it on the hook, tying my hair up and washing my body. Just when there’s suds' coating my eyes I hear someone pull the curtain open,

“This one’s taken!” I hide my body against the wall, trying to wash out the soap when the curtain closes again. Getting frustrated I vigorously put water in my eyes, hearing wet steps. A hand covers my mouth so I can’t scream, turning me around quickly to the haughty chuckle. Billy stands smiling wildly, “What do you think you're doing!” I smack at his chest, he shushes my protest, kissing down my throat creating a bee-line to my chest. Instinctively I hook my arms around his neck, looking down to see he’s also completely naked. “You're supposed to be working, go away.” I hum as he kisses the tops of my breasts.

“But your breasts are so amazing and all soapy. God, have they gotten bigger? My girls, all pretty and sensitive.” he whines on my neck, “and I know you didn’t just buy a suit I wanted, tease me with it. Not wanting me to fuck you, oh not my doll! What have you done with her?!” I laugh as he shakes me, hands on the middle of my spine.

“Okay well then it worked better than I thought, I guess actions speak louder-” he was hammering the spot on my neck that gives my stomach butterflies, “Billy-” I whine.

“Yes? Anything for you.” he looked up, with those gorgeous blue eyes pupils of black onyx swallowing the ocean with lust.

“B, I don’t feel too good...” I pout,

“Well then, let me make you feel so much better, huh? Let Billy take care of you. I'll make you feel better, and damn you smell so good, Indiana.” He doesn’t push my limits by forcing himself on me, just showering me with love in his way of physical contact.

"Billy-..."

"What hurts baby?"

"My back, and I'm nauseous." I hold onto him, playing with his St. Christopher’s necklace under the cool water.

"Well I could blow your back out for ya and buy you dinner afterwards. A nice corn dog and push pop from concessions?"

"You're not helping. You corn dog."

"Correction, it's horn dog." He blows a raspberry along my neck, correcting me.

“Billy! Someone will hear us!” I laugh, running my hand through his wet locks.

“Nope paid that one kid five bucks to scare anyone off, think his name is Ben. Maybe Benson?”

“There’s a teenager outside the woman’s shower room scaring people away so you can fuck me?”

“No, I locked the door and put one of the shower chairs under the handle!”

“Hmm, might take me a little more convincing.” I tease, pushing his shoulders down for him to kneel in front of me. He winks holding onto the backs of my thighs.

“God damn, doll.” He nuzzles his nose along the seam of my cunt, lifting one of my legs to hook over his shoulder. “So fucking wet f’ me, huh?”

“Yes...” I moan when he licks a trail from my entrance to my clit sucking the button into his mouth to roll it over his tongue. He looks up at me as two of his fingers split my folds curling them inside me.

“Shit Billy, ‘M close.” I pant holding the back of his head as he licks my cunt like his favorite ice cream flavor. He pulls off suddenly standing, retreating his fingers from my cunt to circle my clit.

“Want to feel you cum on my cock, doll. Get me there.” He commands, thrusting his swollen and leaky cock against my thigh. I grasp him, rolling in matching circles with my thumb along the tip.

My head thumps the tile wall and we giggle at the noise.

“You okay?” He holds me cheek in his free hand then threading his fingers into my soaked hair.

“Yeah, want you.” I whisper, kissing his lips with bruising passion. He takes himself from my hand lining up with my entrance. Holding my other leg against his hip now so I’m spread open for him. He puts my hand between our bodies above my clit,

“Rub your clit for me, not gonna last long in your pretty pussy.” I whimper at the thought, he kisses me deeply as he pushes inside. My walls have to re-stretch around his girth every time. My free hand accidentally scratches along his back as he pounds into me. He pants into my mouth as he picks up speed, I squeeze around him cumming with a soft cry of his name. That sends him over the edge. I can feel the first wave of his hot load as he pushes himself deeper inside. 

Billy drops my leg, rubbing at my hip and holding me upright as we come down from our high. He kisses along my collarbone as he reaches for my body wash. We spend a few minutes in peaceful post orgasm, treasuring each other’s bodies before he speaks.

“Feel better, doll?” Billy whispers like an unspoken confession.

“A little, thank you honey.” I turn off the water after we clean ourselves off, he dries off by shaking out his hair like a dog. Pelting me with water droplets in the process.

“What?” He acts innocent as I dry my arms and legs, “I’m going back to the pool anyway.” He hands me a towel allowing me to dress moderately dry. Giving up his water after his guided workout, I take one sip before being hauled over his shoulder.

“Billy!” I yell as he grabs my bag from the hook, moving the chair from the door.

“What? I promised my girl some dinner!” He smacks my ass when he walks down the hall to concessions.

“Billy put me down, I’m too heavy!” I groan, getting nauseous from the pressure on my abdomen. He sets me down on the counter cutting the line completely, getting one of his close friends Heather’s attention in the process. 

“Horseshit, you’re fucking light if anything and beautiful no matter what. You could turn green and I’d still do ya.” Heather and I audibly cringe at him.

“Regular for both of you?” she asks leaning over the counter

“Yeah, three corn dogs and a large coke with-”

“With mustard I know!” She goes to the single fryer, dropping them in.

“Have you tipped her today?” I ask him, pinching his waist.

“Ow, hey we both work here. I might as well give her some of my paycheck with the amount of food we trade.”

“Trade?” I raise my eyebrow in disbelief “Billy it is your responsibility as the straight white man to empower the women in your life. Be better.”

“Yeah ass-wipe, be a good civil servant and pay me.” Heather leans over handing me a paper cup of Coke with a straw.

“Stuff it dyke.” I gasp smacking him in the chest, “Ow!”

“Bite me lunkhead.” She fires back at him, they flip each other off like children.

“You two are terrible to each other.” I groan, sliding off the counter when she sets the bag down next to us.

“Hey Y/N, are you coming to the tailgate tonight with everyone?” She asks, tearing a twister with her teeth.

“Um, I don’t know yet. We’ll call you tonight if we can’t make it. Right Bills?” I look at him looking for a way out of it.

“No babe we gotta. We’re hosting the after party at our place with everyone. So I can keep an eye on Max.”

“Don’t go all psycho big brother on her, she’s in high school Billy.” They start to argue about what they were exposed to at young ages and with Max’s condition Billy argues she could be taken advantage of. I feel dizzy as they argue, leaning onto Billy’s shoulder for support.

“You can’t say shit because you are an only child, huh?” Billy pulls me closer by my waist, trying to have me side with him. “Doll, you okay?”

“Huh? Just got really sleepy, I think I should nap and pick up the apartment before we have a bunch of our friends and family over.” I kiss his cheek, “I’ll see you at home?”

“Yeah of course, you want me to walk you to the car?” Billy asks worriedly, pressing a kiss to my temple and hugging me tightly goodbye.

“No it’s okay, have a good shift guys. I’ll see you tonight!” I wave leaving the food and cola with Billy. I drive home quickly and pass out on the couch immediately blaming it on the Hawkins heatwave.

I woke up a couple hours later to dishes clanking together and whispered song lyrics. Stretching my aching muscles, I stand seeing a blanket thrown over my lap. Smiling, I walk into our kitchenette to see Billy with his Walkman on full blast, before he can see me. My stomach gurgles and I race to the bathroom, throwing up an empty stomach of Water and Cola. I sit on the floor for a moment dizzy, dry heaving a few times. Noticing I’d knocked over a box of tampons that were unopened. My heart drops as I try to piece together when I’d had my last period.

“Shit...” I scramble off the bathroom floor going into the bedroom with my purse with my planner and address book. By the book it could’ve been anywhere from 7 to 9 weeks ago. It’s not like Billy and I’s sex life isn’t consistent, and birth control wasn’t something I could feel good about. We agreed to use condoms and suffer any consequences if that happened. Last time this happened was in Highschool, Billy took me to the clinic and they gave me something called Danazol or something like that. Everything turned out okay then, but we were older now this really had consequences now if I was truly pregnant.

“Y/N? Where are you at doll?” Billy yells down the hallway, dragging his feet and hitting his hip on the hall table like always. I look at myself in my vanity mirror and quickly wipe my eyes clean. Running into the closet before he steps inside the room. 

“Picking out my outfit for tonight!” I answer back, clearing my throat.

“Oh yeah?” Billy comes around the corner, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Does that mean my girl is gonna give me a little show?” He chuckles.

“Unless you wanna be late to the tailgate? Not again, hot stuff.” I turn out of his arms, looking in our shared dresser for pants.

“Ooo you should wear those black Levi’s your butt looks good in.” He thinks, always having the more trendy style out of the two of us.

“Okay what shirt? I don't want to get too hot.” I add taking the high waisted Levi’s out, with a tired huff.

“I’d say none because you’re already smoking-” Billy teases

“Billy please, you are the one who got me into this mess. Please help me.”

“Okay, I’m sorry for finding you the best thing in my life so violently attractive.” He pleads and pouts “Forgive me, and definitely that solid red crop you wear to the bars.”

“I wear that to show off my boobs and get us free drinks.”

“Exactly, you look great in it.” I scoff, grabbing the clothes and some fresh under clothes.

“Are you ready to go?” I asked him from the bathroom, happy he didn’t look too closely at my facial expressions. Billy has a way with prying things out of people, part of the endless Casanova charm.

“Hell yeah got and eight pack and Munson and that other tall dude are bringing the dobie. We are all set.” He goes on about the plans tonight as I get ready in the bathroom. Looking under the sink after I change my clothes I look for a spare test. Always having some cheap ones lying around for myself or friends. Hitting a particular box with my hand I take it out and go to pee. Setting it on the counter while adding a hint of makeup and volume to my hair.

“Almost ready, Bills.” I call out, waiting longer than three minutes. I close my eyes and flip over the test on the counter. Taking a deep steadying breath in through my nose and out through my mouth. My neck sweats as I slowly open my eyes, looking down. I gasp, loud enough it worries Billy.

“Babe?”

“Sorry accidentally stabbed my eye with the mascara wand!” I say the first thing that comes to mind, cringing as I hold my hand over my mouth.

“Okay we let's get going Indiana, we can’t keep my fans waiting.” He laughs, starting to open the bathroom door. I scramble throwing the test into the medicine cabinet and shutting the mirror.

“Yeah, let’s go!” Billy dips in for a kiss,

“You look beautiful.”

“I look like a sl-”

“No, do you like it?” He asks honestly, I nod my head. He’s matched with cut offs and a Def Leppard muscle tee. “Then you're perfect. Grab your purse doll. I’ll go start the car.”

I smile sighing in relief, wrapping the test in toilet paper and burying it in the trash. Locking the door behind us, Billy already has his new muscle car running. A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z in his signature blue color. The drive to the large run down lot where Star Court had burned down. Gives you shivers thinking about when I lost him for nearly a whole year. He has a hand on my thigh as he pulls up next to Steve’s burgundy BMW. Robin and Nancy immediately separate us, taking me away to get each of us a drink.

“Girls, Jesus hang on a second!” I laugh barely able to get my seat belt off before I’m dragged to Argyle’s Van. 

“Hey there pretty ladies Johnny boy has the drinkies in the front seats.” He says as him and Jonathan’s head hang off the side of the out back doors. They are already toasted.

“Got any Coke?” I ask

“Which kind?” I hear a scruffy voice behind me, turning to see Eddie. I hug him tightly,

“Eddie!” I shriek, swallowing down tears in my eyes as Steve stands awkwardly next to him. I pull him into my next hug “Stevie! When did you morons get home?”

“Couple hours ago, Eddie just sold a few songs to a up and coming band in Texas?”

“Yeah, Pantera? Plus another to Warrant again, they should release their new album sometime this fall.” Eddie confirms a little smug,

“Wow good for you, babes.” I smack Eddie’s bare shoulder, feeling someone’s hands wrap around my waist and sniff my hair obnoxiously. “Billy...” I squirm feeling cold beverages in his hands.

“Hello gentlemen, see you’ve reunited with my lover.” His breath reeks of cheap beer already making my stomach turn upside-down.

“Sure have, wanna bum me a smoke like old times?” Eddie shakes Billy’s hand, Steve and Billy share a nod, still not fully healing their relationship quite yet.

“Go hang out with the guys, the girls and I are gonna mingle with some distant friends.” I encourage him, he gives me the ice cold coke he got for me before heading off with them.

“Okay Y/N,” Robin slurs a little, holding onto Nancy’s hand “now I wouldn’t say I’m an expert on breasts more a connoisseur.”

“Because you like judging people” Nancy laughs,

“Shush, baby. We’re all friends here but babes what are you doing differently? You look so hot, right now!” Robin holds her hands out like she’s trying to convince Nancy and I.

“Just a-” I freeze watching Nancy’s eyes narrow, like she does when she is trying to solve a puzzle. Damn Nancy Drew acting Wheeler.

“Just... What?” Robin asks a little loud, we both shush her.

“I’m late.”

“Late?” Robin looks at her girlfriend quizzically,

“How late?” Nancy’s eyes nearly burst out of her skull, Robin nods along with her eyes squinted.

“The positive kind.” You try to hint to both of them, Robin now bobbing along to the music as she drinks from her solo cup.

“Shit, does Billy know?”

“I took the test before we left, I don’t know what to do.”

“Does he want kids?”

“Yes, no? Shit maybe? We’re just in a really good place right now so I’m nervous.” I shrug, and Nancy hugs me. Robin turns around randomly and then runs towards Steve as he goes to get another beer.

“Everything will be okay, we’re here for you.” She takes my arm and we walk around mingling and chasing Robin away from the trunks with beer pong set up on them after she talks to Steve. 

He walks back over to the guys, Billy is catching up with Heather when Steve whispers something into Eddie’s ear.

“Yeah right, I’m gonna school your ass when we get to my place.” Billy yells at Heather as she walks towards you and the other girls. 

Steve clears his throat, Eddie looks at him oddly. Steve nods towards Billy, Eddie’s brows furrow as he sighs.

“Hey, Billy you're okay with Y/N dressing like that?” Eddie lowly wolf whistles, at the sight of her. Steve knocks on his head with his beer bottle.

“Um hello? I’m right here.” Steve rolls his eyes, Eddie knocks his shoulder, spilling his beer a little on his shirt. Billy laughs when Steve glares back, taking a long drag of his smoke and blowing it in the opposite direction of his friends.

“I picked out her outfit, I know how to fight. Y/N can wear whatever she wants.” Billy says, simply through his exhale.

“Okay man but... Stevie over here did win in ‘84. Just saying.” Eddie says critically, through his teeth, holding his hands up in surrender.

“Hey fuck off Scarface.” Billy scoffs as Steve interjects, wrapping an arm around his very not sober boyfriend's waist.

“Look Hargrove, Eds is just saying Y/N/N has filled out a bit this summer and is getting a little unwarranted attention.” Steve points the neck of his beer bottle to the ex-basketball team, all a bunch of high school rejects still living in their parents basement as they get fatter and older.

“Oh come on, they’re too scared of me to mess with my girl. I came back from the dead remember?” Billy wiggles his spare fingers while oooing and ahhing like a ghost. Eddie laughs at that, knocking their beers together while Steve’s headaches at the idiocracy.

The sun sets and a majority of the adults who have to work in the morning leave. While a majority of the high schoolers stay together drinking the now warm beer, most of our group also sticking close together about starting college or jobs in the fall. Billy and I reunited shortly after to head over to the apartment first, Lucas and Max sat in the back seat of the car as I drove, being the only sober one.

“I totally could’ve driven, I only had a few beers.”

“And smoked a joint with the guys.” I add turning down the music,

“What can't I bond with my little sister's boyfriend?”

“I had one puff, I doubt I’ll even feel anything.”

“One puff was enough, you already drank tonight Lucas.” Max says kindly, 

“Pfft you girls worry too much, right Sinclair?” Billy holds out his fist for Lucas to bump it. He laughs a little too hard when Billy tries to yank him forward.

“Don’t gang up on the only two women that enjoy your company.” Max scoffs at her brother.

“Whatever, you're up for some ball tomorrow Sinclair?”

“He can’t-” She’s cut off my Lucas explaining their plans

“Sorry Billy, it’s Max and I’s anniversary. We’re staying in Indianapolis for the night.”

“Aw how cute, please take pictures.” You fawn over them, you know exactly what Lucas has been through. That pain of losing your first love, knowing at a young age it was your last. Taking this second chance for all it’s worth every moment no matter how insignificant it is to others, is precious.  

“Better wear protection Sinclair, or I’ll have to kick your ass for knocking up my sister.”

“Billy!” Max punches him hard in the shoulder.

“What Billy means is we want you to be smart about your choices, but we can’t tell you what to do anymore-” 

“Just want what’s best for you, you’re good kids. We don’t need more children running around right now, we’re all still kids.” Billy cuts you off, 

“Um, Y/N are you on birth control?” Lucas asks politely, We’d agreed when Lucas and Max got serious their junior year they could ask me and Billy anything. I didn’t want them to feel odd for their feelings or idiots for the things that aren’t taught.

“I didn't enjoy it, I use a diaphragm sometimes which is like a cup that prevents the sperm from going up into the cervix. Yet we mainly use condoms because the latter makes us both uncomfortable.” I put simply, shrugging. I look in the back mirror. Lucas is leaning his head on Max’s shoulder as she plays with his shirt cuff.

“It feels like your jamming your penis into plastic Tupperware surrounded by warm-”

“EW! Ew stop Billy.” Max covers her ears and starts singing to the radio. I turn it up for her, we pull up to our assigned parking. Others start filling up the parking lot shortly after making a b-line straight to Billy and I’s apartment. 

“No, we had to pull off to the side of the road because we were lost, and exhausted!” Billy exasperates, 

“If Billy didn’t finally just pull over, I probably would've strangled him over the armrest.” I add to the story of Billy’s and I’s recent across-country road trip to California.

“So what happened after you figured out where you were?” Will asks

“Not exactly we-”

“We were in the backseat when a Sheriff drove by. We couldn’t even get our pants you all the way before he knocked on the window.” Billy laughs, Eddie and Argyle join him.

“I pulled down my dress while Billy collected himself enough to ask the man, old enough to be my grandfather for directions.” I rolled my eyes, leaning against Billy. He wrapped his arm around me as he finished the story.

“He handed me a handkerchief and slapped me on the back because her lipstick was smeared on my neck.” He pointed right under his jaw,

“Yeah I’m the slut and he was the stud.” I scoff,

“It’s okay baby. He probably keeled over jerking it to the image of you in that sundress when he got home that night.”

“Ew.” I cringe, “Want another babe?” I ask taking his empty beer can away.

“No, I'm good doll.”

“Hey did you hear Carol Perkins and Tommy H. are expecting?” Steve nods, sharing to Billy and I, I stiffen in Billy’s arms thankfully his too tipsy to notice.

“Yeah no shit, I never really gave a shit about them after graduation. They were the kind of people you know in school and then end it. Figures they are one of the firsts to get knocked up.” Billy continues to blabber about how he doesn’t think anyone should have kids until they’re married or at least financially stable among other things. In front of all our friends, who Buckley has told everyone closest to Billy and I. 

My stomach turns as I make eye contact with Steve. Him and Billy did work things out, my friendship with Steve and Steve’s serious partnership with Billy’s closet friend Eddie made a huge difference.  

“I’ll be back..” I walk down the hallway past my spare bedroom where Robin is passed out as Elle and Max read a Cosmo next to her. I go into the bathroom and sit on the toilet trying to collect myself. There’s a knock and a call of my name. “Almost done.” I call out,

“It’s just me doll, are you okay?” Billy talks quietly, I open the door and he swoops me into his arms, “What’s going on? You’ve been weird all night.”

“I’m sorry.” I mumble in his shoulder

“Don’t apologize, I know you haven’t been feeling good lately. Maybe we should make an appointment or something?”

“Yeah, I’ll do that. Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” He kisses me once, then twice.

“Do you want kids?”

“Is that why your acting strange, because of the pressure of having babies outta high school?”

“You didn’t answer my question...” I whisper looking at the ground trying to will tears out of my eyes

“No, I don’t think I do. My Dad was a shitty father to say the least, he thought having me would save his marriage but the abuse he gave to my mom only got worse afterwards. That’s too much responsibility.” He answers so assured and honest it breaks my heart. 

Maybe a dog, someday but fuck kids. We’d be great Aunt ‘n Uncle to Max’s kids and anyone else who decides to baby-make.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Why do you ask?” Billy asks nervous

“I heard about Carol at the grocery store and wasn’t sure how’d you react.”

“Oh Y/N I don’t give a crap about them. Not when I have you guys.”

“Hey, I think I’m going to say goodnight to everyone and lay down early.”

“Yeah? I can end the party if you need.”

“No, no. I can sleep through anything.”

“Okay doll, whatever you need.”

I go back out into the living room and slowly say goodnight to everyone, Steve, my best friend next to Billy, hugs me a little longer and a little tighter. 

“Good night, honey. We’re here for you.”

“Yeah, always Y/N.”

“Thanks guys, love you.” I blow Eddie and Steve a kiss, Eddie dramatically falls backwards and Steve catches it to place over his heart.

Everyone else bids me goodnight as well, I run into Nancy and she’s waking a very grumpy very sleepy Robin.

“You leaving?” I ask her, Robin is practically curled around Nancy’s small frame leaning on her for support.

“Yeah Robs doesn’t feel good obviously.” Nancy shakes her head, placing a kiss on her partner's cheek.

“I’m never drinking again...” Robin groans

“Get home safe girls, call the house when you get there?” I hug both of them,

“Mike is driving us home since he’s sober, we’ll be okay.” She assures me, small towns were definitely non-conforming but we’d heard of other violence acts committed on same-sex couples in the bigger cities. No one ever deserved that.

Call me, if you need anything. We’re here for you too.” Nancy adds, saying goodbye to everyone as her, Robin and Mike leave.

I go into my bedroom and close the door, putting on my pajamas and removing my makeup. My stomach turns but I go to sleep anyway, a couple hours later I feel the bed dip and a warm arm wrap around my waist. It disappears a few hours later as Billy gets ready for work. Like always, I slowly wake up before he leaves, giving him a goodbye kiss. When he’s out the door, I race to the bathroom and puke my guts out. It’s like that enough of the morning I call out of work. Laying sadly in bed most of the day, until just before Billy gets home around 6. I wash my face and take another test, once again it’s overwhelmingly showing positive. I took this one and the other I hid in the trash last night and put them in my pocket. I conjured a plan on how to tell him, Billy Hargrove. My Billy, he comes home as I’m finishing the only dinner that sounded and smelled appetizing.

“Hey Indiana! I’m home.”

“Hi California.” I call back from the kitchen, plating the chicken and pesto for two. Well three...

How was work?” He kisses me on the cheek, smelling of coconut sunscreen and chlorine.

“It was okay, I had lots of lessons today. The boss is having me take a course on training babies how to swim. Guess it’s in high demand, and extremely important. Almost 45% if not more babies from birth to age four.” He tells me wide eyed, helping me bring the plates to the table as I grab him and beer and the ginger ale I’d been nursing for a couple of hours.

“That’s horrible.”

“Yeah but it means they’re moving me to nearly full-time since those lessons are more important than just the summer. I start working at the Hawkins Rec Center in a few weeks.” He says with a smile hidden by pesto

“Wait, you got a promotion?!”

“Yep, don’t have to go back to the shop this year. I can just teach lessons and couch at the high school.”

“Billy, that's amazing!” I reach out and take his hand,

“I can’t wait, but I’m a little nervous about teaching kiddos so young.”

“You're great with kids Billy.”

“I wasn’t-”

“You’ve changed, you and Max had a lot of unresolved issues. Things have gotten a lot better the past couple years. For christ’s sake she is here for dinner at least once a week if not more. Not even Susan can say she sees her daughter as much.”

“Thanks, how was your day?” He kisses the top of my hand all suave and romantic,

“Haven’t been feeling to good but I think I’ll get better in a couple months...”

“You go to the doctor?”

“No, I took a test yesterday and today.” I swallow the bile rising in my stomach

“If you didn’t go to the doctors-” I cut Billy off, running to the bathroom and clutching the toilet bowl. He follows, then helps by holding my hair and rubbing my back. “We should go to the ER, you didn’t even drink yesterday.”

“It’s okay-”

“No the hell it’s not Y/N! You’re throwing you guts up and you’ve-”

“Billy...” I hold out my hand for him to help me up, flushing the toilet before washing my hands. Tears fall down my cheeks,

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell...”

“It’s not that.” I strain to find the two words, hiding my face in my hands.

“What’s going on?”

“Promise we can talk about this?” I turn to him dizzy, I take his hand in mine and go to sit down on our bed.

“We can talk about anything, Y/N.” He pushes my hair out of my face. I reach into my sweatshirt pocket and turn over the pregnancy tests. Tears continue to cascade down my cheeks as Billy freezes his expression is unreadable. He swallows hard taking the tests.

“I’m pregnant.” I tell him wetly, wiping away tears so I can see him better. He stands, throwing the tests down the hall with a clatter. Hard enough I jump at the sudden action. Hands running through his hair, irritation now bursting through the seams.

“What?” He scoffs

“I’m pregnant, Billy.”

“Fuck, Y/N.” He paces the foot of the bed, working himself up “How long? How long did you keep this shit from me?”

“I-I found out last night.” I explained standing close to him.

“Yeah? Is that why you’ve been all weird and shit around me? You were hiding this?”

“Nooo, no Billy. Please.” I try and reach for him,

“Don’t ‘No, Billy’ me. Is this why you don’t want to go on birth control? Just trying to trap me?” His voice gets elevated as the questions continue, he pushes off my hand like he’s been scolded with hot water.

“No, I love you.” I cry, holding onto myself

“Do you? You know I don’t want kids, Y/N!” He gets in my face words booming through the house and my ears and I gasp. “What the fuck?” He storms out the room, hearing him knock into the table in the hall with a groan before there’s a crash and bang. I run out, he’s thrown it across the hallway creating a dent in the drywall and breaking the legs of anything that was on top flung or stepped on.

“Please don’t push me away!” I raise my voice, trying to walk over the mess in my bare feet.

“Did you even think, to consider how I felt?”

“I am trying to understand but you're yelling and throwing things around. Are you blaming me for this?”

“You’ve got some nerve, it takes two Y/N. You won’t make me do shit, now move.” I find him in the living room collecting his wallet and keys.

“Billy, please-” I beg him standing in front of the door, he moves me aside with a strong hand.

“No, I’m leaving. I can’t do this, this is the one thing.”  He spits at me, fire exploding behind his eyes. 

“If you leave, I’ll never forgive you!” I call to him, my voice raw and overwhelmed with emotion.

My mind begging and pleading for him to shut the door and engulf me in his arms. Tell me everything will be okay, that he loves me and we’ll get through this.

“It’s too much.” He fums, the door slams shut behind him, shaking a picture off the wall. 

I hobble over to it, defeated, it’s one from the California trip. Billy had given the camera he borrowed from Jonathan to an older surfer to take a photo of us at the beach in our wetsuits. My hair is tied back, smiling at the camera with a teeth filled grin. While Billy looks at me and smiles, eyes dopey with exhaustion but something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Joy. The glass from the frame has shattered and scratched it, splitting the two of us by our hands. I hold it close as I dial the only people I can trust,

“Yello, Munsington household or Harrinuson if you like that better.” Eddie answers the phone, with his infectious bravoto.

“Hi Eds.” I sob out in relief.

“Y/N, honey. What’s-” His voice deepens immediately in concern,

“I-I told him, he left. He left me.” I weep into the receiver, trying to collect my thoughts.

“Okay, hey do me a favor unlock the door and turn on the TV? Distract yourself while Steve and I get there.” Eddie tells me calmly, ‘What’s going on?’ I hear Steve interrupts.

“Okay. I’ll try, I’m so sick Eddie.”

“Do you need to go to the hospital?” Eddie asks, ‘Is that Y/N/N?’ Steve interrogates still faint on the line.

“No, I’m just puking.”

“Is there blood or anything strange about it?”

“No...” I cry louder

“Hey-hey,” Eddie gets my attention again, “that’s good. Remember what I said, Steve and I are getting in the car right after I hang up.”

“Okay Eds.”

“We’ll be there soon, Sweet Girl.” Steve takes the phone from Eddie who barks ‘Steve where are my keys?!’ 

Hang tight, I’ll be right there. Everything's gonna be fine.” Steve assures both of us.

“Yeah...”

“We’re on our way.” Steve hangs up the phone, staring at his metal head boyfriend with a single shoe on untied and the other in his hands as he tears up the entire living room looking for his keys.

“Eds?” Steve stands by the landline hands on his hips.

“Hold on Steve, I gotta find my keys!” Eddie holds out his shoe pointing it at his boyfriend as he moves to the kitchen table.

“Eddie.” He scolds in a boisterous manner enough to make Eddie look at him

“What?!” Eddie yells, looking at his boyfriend to find him jiggling Eddie’s car keys in his hand,

“Get in the van-.” He motions him to the door,

“Why’d you let me tear up the apartment?”

“It was kinda funny, give me a reason to make you help me clean it when we get home.” Steve throws the keys to Eddie going to the passenger side.

“I haven’t even put my shoes on.”

“I doubt your shoes will have any impact on us kicking Billy’s ass.”

I hear a single knock at the door before a flurry of dark curls and onyx eyes enters the apartment, behind him a tanned honey colored pompadour with equally syrup eyes enters. I suck in a breath, watching them look around. Steve goes to where I’m crouched in the living room, cleaning up the glass from the picture frame. He immediately engulfs me in his arms, not saying a word as I squeeze him a little too tight.

“Hey, shhh. I’m here, Sweet Girl. I got you.” He holds me tight, his caress of my hair like an affirmation he’s molding to my skin with each rub.

“Shit Steve where is she, he tore up the hallway-” Eddie walks with untied shoes to Steve practically hoisting me in his lap as I cry, he holds one of the positive tests.

Hey, Y/N...” Eddie accidentally steps in the pile of glass swept together, he finishes the job with a broom and dustpan. My breathing steadies a bit more with them here, I’m not alone.

“I'm sorry, I don’t have anyone else to call.” 

“Hey now, none of that. Don’t apologize, you’d do the same thing if Eddie knocked me up.” I chuckle at Steve pinching his bicep, feeling relieved by the minute.

“You’d make a great mom.” I breathe deep trying to make the joke back,

“So are you.” Steve kisses my temple, swaying us in the living room. His words sink deep as I hide my wet cheeks and snotty-nose into his shoulder. 

“Um, I don't know if you want your pee stick but I found it in the entryway.” Eddie sits criss-crossed in front of us, setting the test down like an offering in front of me. Taking a minute to finally tie his shoes, as if he hasn't tripped a billion times since leaving the apartment.

“Gross Eddie, it’s just called a pregnancy test.” Steve chortles straightening out his leg to kick the other in the thigh.

“Ow! You’ve hurt me deeply Stevie, I twas trying to lighten the mood. Also that pasta is the freaking bomb.” He swats Steve’s foot away when he nudges him again. Noticing a change in mood again, instead of sadness it’s anger.

“It made me sick, that’s how the conversation started...” I mumble against Steve,

“Wait am I going to get sick from eating some?” Eddie asks alarmed

“No stupid she’s having morning sickness, keep up.” He squints at his boyfriend as if to say ‘read the room’.

“Are you PMS-ing babe? You’ve been awfully mean-” The metal head pouts,

“Shush this is about Y/N.” The King with no crown points his finger angry,

“No, I love it when you two bicker like you’ve been married for 50 years.” 

“One day with this one is a whole year’s worth of irritation.” Steve sticks out his tongue playfully at Eddie shaking his head.

“I wonder what 5 minutes of pleasure with me is then.” Eddie blows a kiss and wiggles his eyebrows.

“Ew stop being in love in front of my unborn child.” the silence is a pregnant as you are.

“So Robin wasn’t just drunk blabbering last night?” Steve rubs his warm hand along my back,

“Nope.” I pop the ‘p’, the silence overwhelms all of us until Eddie gets uncomfortable enough to speak.

“You don’t have to right this second but, you wanna tell us what’s going on?” He fumblingly asks with a concerned smile. I relay all of what happened tonight along with a few more tidbits.

“Billy hasn’t ever explicitly told me he didn’t want kids. So I wasn't expecting him to be excited and have everything figured out but he just left me.”

“Jesus Christ, you talk to anyone else?” Eddie wipes a hand over his forehead, I shake my head. Steve has been tense since I started talking about what Billy said.

“He say where he went?” Steve asks with deathly calm, I shake my head twirling the test in my hands.

“I know where he is, and I’m gonna kill ‘im.” Eddie stands up, taking out his car keys.

“No Eddie!” I whine,

“Munson, where the hell are you going?” Steve stands beside me,

“To talk some sense into this asshole, I love you I’ll be back-” He kisses Steve before running out of the complex.

“Don’t get arrested!” Steve yells out, turning back around to me. “How about you get cleaned up? I’ll clean up out here and we can watch a movie together on the couch like old times.” He offers, holding my arms and massaging my biceps to encourage laughter.

“What about the drywall? And the kitchen-”

“Y/N/N. I’ll call Wayne in the morning, I’m sure he’s got the tools from patching up the trailer. And I’ll clean the kitchen so you don’t get sick again because of the food aversion.”

“You’re stubborn...” I pout, moving over the broken pieces of wall and furniture in the hallway. 

“Nah just enough to not take shit from you and Henderson.” He laughs, picking up the trashed things in the hall as I enter the bathroom. 

Turning on the shower to warm up a few seconds allows the room to fill with steam. The first thing I see in the mirror is me, hazy and weak. Too weak to handle side effects a a little blue pill, to weak to stick up for myself and yell back, too weak to fix things. The mirror fills with steam as quickly as I fill with dread. I start undressing only able to see my body from a upper preview. For weeks I thought I was bloated, stressed out from my job and not working out. The normal protective pudge of my stomach has a small softball size curve that doesn’t move like the rest of me. It’s hard to suck in, and more prominent when I full relax. I don’t feel scared for myself, but scared of what I can offer. Alone, I’m barely able to remember to drink water but always remember to do the dishes before bed to make breakfast easier to have.

Lamenting through my own thoughts, I shake them away. There’s doctors to talk about this kind of thing, that’s what they’re there for. Support groups for mothers who don’t know what to do. The kids have taught me a lot but none of them except Erica were even under ten when we’d first met. When it’s your own child, it’s a whole different ball game. There will still be a team surrounding me even as the opponents team boo’s and hollers. Now it’s a waiting game to see if my pitcher is with me. 

I like to think Billy is a good man, not by any means by himself. Repaired as many relationships as he could, hate who he was before. He thinks before acting but I’d seen that look before, anger is normally a response to a much deeper and complex feeling. Fear, frustration, sadness. He’s been taught his whole life that the answer is to push those other things away, make room for hate, bigotry and self preservation. While I grew up in a different way, in a different world. Built for me to fail, built for me to resent motherhood as the only outcome for my life. The only thing a woman is good at, but doesn’t receive the credit for only the blame and the hard work it takes. To be loved by the things you can create but not the person you are. Billy is just as scared as I am, but I will not be the one to fix this. I will not be alone.

Sitting at the counter by yourself poking at the pancakes I ordered, Melody comes over to fill the cup of coffee.

“Don’t be so upset babycakes, he’s the one missing out. Besides, you have your whole life to be mad, angry, or sad about things like men.”

“I know, I’m just upset because he didn’t even try to cancel or contact me. Which is honestly a dick move, I’d rather him come and then be like ‘maybe we should just be friends.’ Or ‘I actually don’t want to go out with you.’ Instead I’m left wondering if he’s dead or under some slut.” Melody looked at the front door chime, her eyes blowing wide. I furrowed my brow at her change when a man came in. Sitting a single seat away to my right at the counter.

“Well keep nursing those pancakes baby, I’ll be right back.” She set the coffee pot down, taking my long discarded menu to the man I didn’t recognize. He couldn’t be much older, wearing brown leather with an orange button down tucked into his way too tight jeans. They showed off all of his ass- assets, he had a fluffy head of dirty blonde curls in a mullet style. His pants were cuffed at the bottom to show off his laced up pristine vans. He gave Melody an irresistible smile, the earring in his left ear swaying when he motioned to me. Winking at her, Melody left to put his order on the cook line. When he chuckled I realized I was completely staring and tried to find something to occupy my gaze. I turned to the cup of coffee Melody just poured, bringing it up to my lips while also burning my tongue in the process of said sip.

“Let me guess you had a pretty shit day too?” the guy asked, pointing to the various untouched items Melody kept bringing to cheer me up.

“Yeah. I’ve definitely had worse though. You?”

“Oh yeah, you mind?” he pointed to the clean coffee cup in front of my seat, I shook my head. And he slid into the seat directly next to me reaching to pour himself a cup of coffee. Using his left hand he just barely knocked into my elbow resting on the counter.

“What was yours?” I asked abruptly, his eyebrow raised in an unasked question. “Sorry, I mean why was yours such a shit day?” I stuttered looking forward behind the counter, caressing the warm ceramic of the coffee mug.

“Well let’s see. I have an asshole Dad.” He rose his pointer finger

“With an neglectful borderline alcoholic Step-Mother who moved us here to be closer to stupid relatives.” Raising his middle finger to accompany, “Her bratty daughter who I’m responsible for. So kinda a neat little package of bullshit.”

“Hmm, can’t relate. Mine’s just guy trouble, which is laughable I know. Where’d you move from?” I turned to see his face, taking in each detail. There was slight discoloration on the left side of his face, his dark lashes were a heightened contrast to the beautiful rich blue of his irises. A clump of loose curls cascaded on his forehead, moving with as much grace as the earring.

“California, yeah I can’t relate to guy troubles.” He laughed while sipping his coffee, the heat of the liquid on his plump lips made the skin redder with each sip.

“Well you got Daddy issues, Mother still in the picture?” I asked brashly, his jaw clenched as he sigh through his nose.

“No, I don’t really like to talk about her actually. Ever.” he said with a familiar discomfort, I’d grown to know all too well.

“Now that I can relate to, when my mom passed away it’s like she never existed. Wiped clean from this earth from her friends and nonexistent extended family.”  

“Hmm, well mine just decided to leave me one day. No responsibility to harbor a free life, away from being a Hargrove.”

“Leaving you to deal with your asshole of a father? That’s a shit deal.”

“Yeah tell me about it,” Melody came with a plate of pancakes and silverware, setting it down in front of him. His shoulders relaxed when he spoke, “Thank you-, Melody.” he squinted taking in the name tag, and she nodded back smiling appreciatively. Taking a cold plate away from my mountain of food, she made distinctive eye contact and winked. Darting her eyes back and forth to the space unoccupied between me and the stranger. She turned around, switching our nearly empty pot of coffee with a fresh one. Then going around to bus tables the diner, it was getting pretty late. We were two of the only stragglers left. “Better me I guess, than Susan or Max. It’s not okay to beat women just because you have a dick between your legs.” I choked slightly on my swallow of coffee, looking at him in horror.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t notice with all that staring you were doing when I first sat down.” Turning to face his body towards me, he pointed to a small cut on his lip as well as the slight discoloration high on his cheekbone, the same side.

“People have accidents everyday, it’s not fair to assume…” Unsure if its proper to ask about how it happened, I asked a slightly different question. “Susan and Max? The Neglectful and The Brat?” he nodded yes, with a bite of pancakes in his mouth. His teeth were pearly white, laying straight in his mouth when he’d open wide for a new mouth full of late night pancakes.

“Yes, and the guy? Or guys, plural if you’re that type of lady.” He elbow knocked into mine as he ate, he was left handed.

“Tyler Carver, graduated last year golden boy from a family of accomplished athletes. Told me to meet him at an Indiana Jones showing tonight, never showed up. So I came here and got my own dinner. Honestly the better option I suppose. I’ve also never been that lady.”

“Well I can’t imagine why the asshole would ditch you, we’re holding such an enriching conversation. He’s losing out on a smart and beautiful date.”

“This is embarrassing but it was actually going to be my first date, like ever. That isn’t some weird force proximity thing.” I laugh nervously pushing the half eaten plate and cup away, shaking my head. My head is still reeling from being ditched, embarrassed and played by a complete stranger.

“Well Doll, you could count this if you’d like. Plus no one is an accomplished athlete if they are settled in no where Indiana.” he smirked, eye lighting up as he finished the contents of his plate. Tossing the fork in the center and placing it under mine.

“I don’t even know your name. You could be ‘the night stalker’ for all I know, California. Especially since Hawkins is small and I’ve met everyone at least once.”

“It adds to the suspense, Doll. But could I level with you?” I nod in agreement then tilt my head in a confused response. He leans in closer, brushing the hair off my shoulder to whisper at my ear. “If Tyler didn’t immediately notice the perfectly sculpted woman you are, that’s forever going to be his loss.” My breath hitches and he leaned back to maintain eye contact. “Besides, most of the time assholes like him. The only thing they want to do in a movie theater, isn’t really your speed I think.”

“What do you mean?” I asked naively, my nose brushing the side of his cheek.

“You know, a gorgeous girl. In a space with lots of noise, darkness and the thrill of getting caught.” Suddenly the realization hit suddenly like a ton of bricks, this must have been some weird orchestrated joke at my expense. I pulled back vigorously, shaking the tension from my frame, blush rising to color the tips of my ears. Covering my face with my hands, embarrassed at the possibility of what Tyler’s true intentions were.

“I’m so stupid. Some random dude I’ve known for like 30 minutes saw through the jerk before I could.”

“Yeah well, I sometimes am the jerk. It takes one to know one.”

“Well clearly I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, but if I’m also being honest this interaction is more relaxing than even being around my acclaimed best friend.”

“You’ve been honest this whole time, and maybe you should find some new friends.” he huffed in a laugh, smiling at me again, “I’m sure there’s more potential here than just relaxing, huh?” motioning to himself, I tried to find the response in his eyes. They are a fountain of blue hues swimming to meet at the dark irises of his entrancing eyes. They stare into my most vulnerable parts, he’s not just looking, he’s studying. Mapping out each feature as I did, stopping their assault on my lips. Gaping as if they could disappear at any moment, leaning in closer to them like a moth to a flame. “Doll what do you say, we-” he asked, sliding his hand from his own thigh to lightly squeeze my knee.

“I don’t know your name…” I whisper, trying to find a voice within his proximity.  

“I’m sure you can come up with one, or more if you like.” He smiled, though his eyes never lost their contact with my lips.

“You're just a tease, but two must play for it to be a game. Do you have a favorite color?” I smirked. Gaining courage again, changing the subject not moving from his close proximity.

“Red or sometimes blue like my car.”

“I like green, my car is also blue. How funny.” I swallowed hard as he started to rub circles along my knee. I wonder how his hands would feel rubbing other places. Feeling the pit in my stomach grow as he watch every movement. Like a apex predator and the un-knowing prey. Knowing exactly how to dance and the effect he was having. His hand was rough, kindly calloused fingers nipping at the rip in my jeans.

“Color of envy, and jealousy makes sense.” I shoot your eyes back to look at his eyes, he ordained an all-knowing smirk. I’d been staring at his hand this time,

“And yours the colors of anger and sadness. Seems like a lonely combination.”

“It can be, but I just meet strange women in diners to pass the time.” I giggle at his remark,

“You think I’m strange? You’re going to have a lot of fun here in Hawkins I’m sure.”

“Do you wanna get outta here?” he cautiously moved his hand higher towards my thigh just grazing. It sent unfamiliar shivers rocketing through my system, I stopped his movements, causing him to jerk back while still touching our legs knocking against each other.

“I want to keep talking actually, I think we’re really getting somewhere. Besides, I’m really not that girl. I could introduce you to a few that are always hot and ready though if that’s all you're looking for tonight.” he hummed darkly in his throat. Leaning further, adjusting himself to move his legs around mine.

“No fun, what’s your favorite childhood memory?” he asked, pouting, I scoffed at the change of conversation almost mocking what I’d done earlier. Thinking about it for a moment trying to find it,

Trees were filled with snow, the sun from above made everything shine brightly. I was wrapped up in a hot amount of clothing, the only thing touching the brutal cold was the tip of a already frozen red nose. It had stopped snowing hours ago, coming up above waist height making it hard to walk through. Holding onto mom’s mitted hand, while Dad made himself busy shoveling the porch. She stopped in the middle of the yard letting go, scrunching a ball of snow in her hands hurling at Dad’s back. He gasped, turning in surprise, I giggled, grabbing my own balls of snow and throwing some wildly at both of them. Soon he caught us in his arms and leaned back, making as of us fall back into the pile of plush snow. Panting heavily, clouds started the soft snow up again and all of us were covered making a snowman. He posed us next to the porch before taking a single photo of mom. She was smiling hard enough for her eye to just be small squints, snow covered her hat and lashes melting dainty on her skin. Soon after we went inside by the fire, he made you all hot cocoa as the blizzard continued outside. She passed away after New Years, after a week of being in the E.R.

“The Grandparents moved to Maine after Dad refused to go with them, insisting I should grow up where him and mom did. Experience her life as much as possible, until I was old enough to make my own choices.” You explained this is Billy leaving out some of the more quiet realizations, he watched me recalled with amazement.

“What’s yours?” I asked him fondly,

“Well a few come to mind, first kiss. Some embarrassing ones like the first pimple or surprise boner.” I cringed at the last part making him laugh, throwing his head to the side. “No but um, my mom she would take me to the beach and let me surf. For hours I’d be out there, I’d fall asleep on the ride home from exhaustion. Wake up when she’d turn onto our street feeling a slight sunburn under my shirt, the tension wasn’t there until the drive home. The beach was our little escape into paradise…” he huffs,

"I thought you didn't talk about her?"

"Yeah, me too." stretching his arms up, yawning as he take a glance at his watch. We’d only been in the diner for two hours, but it was nearing midnight. The diner was open all hours, but there was slight guilt for still being here. Billy noticed the same thing, pulling out his wallet. "Think that should cover it?"

"No." He cocked his eyebrow."Sorry, no, as in 'No, I eat here for free', not no, "you don't have enough money' . "

"Here, I thought we were on a date? Now you're making ne look bad."

"Not as bad as Tyler."

"Bye cuties! Don't be strangers!"

"Thank you."

"Thank you for a genuinely nice dinner.”

“Thank you for the genuinely nice company, do you want me to walk you to your car?”

“I actually walked here, so I’ll just walk back home.”

“Nonsense, I’ll give you a ride. Where we headed?” He pulls his smokes and keys from his jacket pocket.

“No, it’s late. I’m sure you're tired from moving. I don’t mind-”

“Neither do I.” he started to walk towards a blue vehicle opening the passenger door, leaning against the back intently, almost beckoning me to challenge him at this point. I didn't. Instead of listening to the voice in the back of my head, screaming not to, I conceded to slipping into the leather passenger seat. He knelt down, leaning over slightly, and tucked my seatbelt until we both heard the click. His hands were dangerously close to my chest as he moved it over shoulder, straightening the belt.

“Trying to cop a feel, California?” i teased just above a whisper into the ear facing me, he chuckled darkly. Moving his lips to the side of my face,

“Not without permission, I like it when a woman begs for my touch across her skin.” He moved out the door and slammed it shut, I exhaled sharply, eyes blown up out of my skull as the butterflies fluttered throughout my closed eyes. He opened the driver's side and slammed his body down, shaking the car with his weight. “D’you mind?” he asked, taking a cigarette from the pack and placing it between his lips. I nodded in disagreement, the only response that would conger still near dizzy from his words early. He grinned and moved his hand to open the glove box, brushing against my leg as he took a lighter from it. Silver shiny square wrappers shone in the neon light of the diner catching my eyes as he closed it shut. The engine roared to life along with loud heavy metal music blasting from his player, he rolled down his window puffing out the smoke. Reversing out of the parking lot at remarkable speed. “Are you gonna tell me where you live or should I just take you to mine?” he laughed, stopping at the edge of the street.

“Turn left Hotshot,” I bit back, growing fond of his endless teasing. He wiped the car in the correct direction, head banging at his music. Turning it down enough he would be able to hear me over it as he parked in front of the house.

“Are you gonna go inside?”

“Yeah sorry, just thinking how to explain to my Dad why I’m stumbling in after midnight.”

“Don’t tell ’m anything, just waltz right into your room. It works for me.” I chuckled, facing him as I released the seatbelt.

“Thanks again, here.” I dug through my bag grabbing some spare cash from my wallet, holding it out for him. “Gas money, I live pretty far out.”

“No I couldn’t,”

“Come on, I insist. I would still be walking for another 30 minutes without you. And definitely had given up on men in general, before you showed up.” he shook his head, he took my wrist in his hand and set it back down in my lap. Reaching out over again to push the door open for me, this time the smell of Marlboros wafted from his lips.

“Go on, maybe let me take you on a real date next time and we can call it even.” he said, leaning back against his own seat and removing his hand. I sighed as he did, then came an idea. Opening the glove box in front of my knees I stuffed it in between the papers, brushing my hand against the definite condoms. Closing it quickly and jumping out of the car, closing the door and walking around to cross the street. I heard his soft protests, turning around to glance at him crossing the street, digging the house key out of the bottom of my bag. “Wait! You’re not gonna tell me your name?” he pleaded questioningly, I smiled shaking my head walking back to his door. Laying my hands flat on the open window,

“I like being mysterious, I’ll see you around Hargrove.” he placed a hand over mine, the other cupping under my chin for him to rub his thumb along my bottom lip. I courageously pressed a small kiss to the rough pad before running up the porch steps. Waving goodbye as I opened the door, then sinking against it once it was firmly closed behind me. Dad wasn’t in the living room, the kitchen light was on glowing over the darkness of the living room and rest of the down stairs. I tossed my bag down, kicking off the heavy boots at the door walking upstairs to retire for the night.  

-

"Nice ride, it's almost as gorgeous as the girl riding it" hearing the dark familiar voice,

"Good one, do you use that one with all the ladies?" you cocked your head at the boy you’d met this weekend after Tyler stood you up.

"No, just the ones worth my time, I'm Billy Hargroove remember? I own the blue 1979 Chevrolet Camaro that just pulled in all the way from California to grace your town."

"Ah, I see. Well good for you Mr. Hargroove, maybe we'll see each other more often to have more riveting conversations." You wink at him heading inside to put your helmet in your locker when Carol comes over.

“I’m sorry, since when are you a slut for jocks?” She slams your locker shut, “Do you think you could introduce me to hotty with a body.” You open your locker again,

“Don’t know who you're talking about and don’t care, but maybe just keep your mouth open wide. You’ll catch more dick that way.” You open the locker the rest of the way covering her face, her shoulder slams into you before walking away. On the overhead speaker you hear, “Y/N Newby to the counselors please, Ms. Newby to the counselors.” There's teasing as you walk to the Office, stopping short of the Junior/Senior counselors office Ms. Kelly stands with the blonde nightmare from earlier. He’s looking her up and down like a snack leaning against the door frame, you clear your throat to get their attention.

“Hi Ms. Kelly, you wanted to see me?”

“Yes, Ms, Newby. I’d like to introduce you to our newest student. This is William, sorry Billy Hargrove, he just moved here from California! Mr. Hargrove, this is Y/N Newby.” she motions to him, you put on a fake smile putting out your hand to shake his, he takes it and places a light kiss on your knuckles.

“It’s so nice to meet you Y/N,” he winks at you, you remove your hand wiping the feeling of his lips on your blouse.

“Y/N actually, we met in the parking lot, Ms. Kelly.” you narrow your eyes at him staring into your soul with his beautiful baby blue eyes and perfect teeth chewing at some gum. “So why am I here?” you sigh at her, ready to start your day.

“Well Ms. Newby, since your first period is Math and you have no problem keeping up that perfect A. As well being such a well versed academic and club member, I chose you to show Mr. Hargrove around today.” he chuckles, wetting his red lips, “Your schedules are also extremely similar so even more time for you to make friends, potentially help him get caught up if need be.” She passes you Billy’s schedule. God was she right, you had Gym, English Literature, Advanced World History and lunch period together. His locker number was also too close for comfort, you weren’t ever going to not see this absolute jerk-face unless you skipped the rest of Senior year all together. The warning bell rings “You have all of first period to show him around, I already sent notes to your respective teachers and then you can end the tour by going to World History together. I hope you enjoy our small town school Mr. Hargrove, let us know if you need any more assistance.” she looks at you and nods going back into her office. You roll your eyes and sigh heavily at his shit eating grin.

“Well let's get this over with California, I’ll show you your locker first.” You walk him down the hall across from your own locker, he has the code written with a marker on his hand. It takes him two tries before it opens for him. Setting his shoulder bag inside he takes off his jean jacket, holy shit he was ripped.

“So what do you Indiana Teenagers do for fun?” he asks you to break the silence since you spoke in the office.

“Have sex, play sports and smoke weed? Are those the answers you were looking for?” He puts the jacket into the locker and grabs his small bag again.

“Sounds pretty accurate to me, how are the sports?” You begin walking to the gymnasium,

“Okay, for what we have. Basketball is the most sought after team next to Cheerleading. This is the boys locker room.” You point to it while you pass by it,

“Cheer isn’t a sport, though?” he said narrowing his eyes,

“Yeah okay, Hargrove. Maybe you should put on a short skirt and get thrown into the air. While still looking hot! Plus have you seen how flexible, and muscular Male and Female cheerleaders get? I don’t see many Football or Basketball players with such finesse, or strength in their muscles.”

“Okay, maybe you're right. But you haven’t watched me play yet.” God he was a walking, flirting red flag. You rolled your eyes walking into the gym to see freshmen stinking up the place, so much so Coach has all three sets of double doors open.

“So you're a flirt, drive a cool car and play basketball? The girls here are gonna love you California. That’s coach,” you point out the man yelling at the freshman to pick up their awkward knees. He was a pretty nice guy, especially if you at least tried unlike any other P.E teacher or coach you’d met before.

“Does that still include you, Indiana?” you rolled your eyes at him and walked out to the track to the other side of the building. He catches up to you quickly, “Aren’t you supposed to help me find my way by answering my questions?”

“I’m supposed to show you around, not be a notch on your bedpost. This is a place of learning Hargrove, and I intend to be the most successful in this school. So the sex, sports games and drugs are mostly off the table if I’m to earn my seat at Stanford.”

“California?” he stutters catching up to you,

“Yes my fall back is MIT and a couple others but Stanford’s the dream, I know how silly it is.”

“Not really, sounds like a pretty good dream to me.” you scoff at him, “You also said fun was mostly off the table so I’ll take that as a challenge, Doll.” he winks at you.

“My name is Y/N, Billy.”

“And mine is technically William,” he threw his hands in the air, walking up and opening the side door of the school. You gave him a thin lipped smile and opened the other side by yourself, “ Hm, maybe I’ll call you Spitfire instead because you sure do! What are you doing after school today, Spitfire?” he walks around you, making you stop in front of each other at the door of your History class. You look at your watch to avoid his eyes,

“Hmm, anything but whatever this is,” you point in between you two and the bell rings before he can respond, “Looks like tours over, see you in class California.” You slap his shoulder before walking into your assigned seat towards the front middle of the room. You see Steve walking across the courtyard, he waves at you through the window and you waved back.

“Who’s that? Your boyfriend, he doesn’t look like much for a girl like you.” Billy asks from behind you. You turn to look at him, he smiles that he catches your attention.

“Are you going to be this annoying and nosey every class we have together? It’s also assigned seating.” You point to the board which has now changed to put Billy behind you, “shit.” He leans forward in his seat, his breath brushed against your neck.

“What? I have bad eyes, plus I’m just trying to make friends like Ms. Kelly wants us too.” He lightly brushes the hair that fell to your shoulder, making you shiver. You grab his hand before he can react. Turning to see his face, he rips his hand from yours playfully.

“I can be friendly,” you smile at him before flipping all your hair on your back laying it across his desk. The bell rang, prompting Mrs. Garyson to start today's lesson on the War of Pigs. Before you knew it you went to Anatomy, which kinda made your stomach turn but it's a good class. Then it was gym time, and oh how you wished you had just done it as a hormonal freshmen. Senior year P.E was to condition you to be College Athletes by the end of the semester. You walked in watching the Seniors warming up, until you felt someone pick you up from behind and spin you, setting you down Steve turned you around to look at him.

“Hey Sweetheart! Where were you in Stats? I sat all alone listening to Knoll the Troll blab about how to not get behind on the mid-term assignment or You. Will. Fail… duh duh.” you laughed at him, watching Billy come into the Gym walking next to Tommy H. You and Steve sat down together waiting for Coach to join us, instruct what we were doing today.

“I had to show this new kid around, we have like 3 classes together and since I’m on my way to Valedictorian I have to play a role in the student body. As well as keeping my head above water while taking an extremely challenging course load. I think he’s going to cause some trouble. Are you still talking to Tommy and Carol by the way?” you motion to Tommy with your eyes.

“No, they don’t really give a shit about me except my parents money and empty house. Why do you ask?”

“Because I think both Tommy and Carol want to screw the new guy,” You both laugh, looking at Tommy being so extravagant while he talks to Billy. Billy’s eyes burn towards the pair of you, you try to shake up his stare. Before you know it class ends, now it's lunch you drop off some books at your locker. You walk past the trophy case stopping for a moment to look at the various years of accomplishments collecting dust. You see your Mom and Dad smiling and posing with some other students in ‘The National Honor Society’ photo from Class of 1965, it has her maiden name and everything. Little did they know by the next March they would be pregnant and by December have their first and only child.

And in 1970 your mom would lose her fight with cancer, leaving you and your Dad against the world. You wiped a tear with the back of your hand, trying not to smear your makeup too much.

“Who’s this?” Billy says walking up next to you, pointing to the photo you were staring at. You walk away from him going towards the library, before he can see your tears. He lingers for a minute looking at all the pictures before he stumbles on the names Harrington and Newby in a National Honors Society photo. At first glance none of the people look very familiar until he stops at someone who could practically be your twin. He realized it said Class of 1965, and kept that information to himself for later.

You are at your locker after school and a body slams into the wall. Seeing the tight jeans and boots right by your feet, the door keeping you but mere inches apart,

“You really just can’t leave me alone can you?” you scowl looking over the side of the locker, Billy grins with his jean jacket along his shoulder.

“Nah I don’t think I can. We're friends, remember?" You closed the locker after grabbing your helmet.

"I don't think you're the type to keep friends that are girls, just friends. Besides off the table, remember? You can stop skirt chasing me, you know I'm not interested." He kept pace with you as you walked outside to your bike.

"Indiana, what do you think I'm trying to do here?" He stops in front of the doors, opening it for you.

"I don't know, make fun of me or something?" You brush off the confession and quicken your pace on the pavement.

"Doll," he stops you by holding your arms "if I was just trying to heckle you, do you think I would be trying so hard to understand you?" His eyes burned into you, like you'd hurt him with the assumption. "C'mon what's the worst thing to happen?" You looked over to the rows of other girls giving you death stares before turning back to him and brushing him off.

“Them." You point out the popular crowd which used to include Steve more frequently but now just laugh behind his back.

"I don't give a fuck about what they think, I know you don't either. I enjoy how realistic you are, it's not normal for a person to look at me as a human and not just drool. You're odd to me, in a good way.”

“Really, now?”

“Yes, you’re truly mature and nicely stand-offish, your main concern is your future and friends. I also heard rumors of you dating but I knew that wasn’t true until saw you in the gym, all touchy feely. Whispering to each other, I asked around to see if that was Tyler. But when I remembered he graduated, some Tommy kid informed me that was The King of Hawkins. And not to dare try to get in your pants because I’d have to answer to him," You looked at him confused, and he motioned to Steve at his car. Staring daggers at him as Nancy talked.

"Steve Harrington?" You asked, anger started to build in your stomach. Billy snapped his fingers,

"Yes that's the name! So curiosity kicked in and I asked around, everyone says he's dating some Nancy chick. Yeah a bunch of people said he doesn’t like guys hanging around his girls, especially you Doll. I guess he beats the shit out of people who talk of you." You saw Steve over by his car, laughing with Nancy.  Not looking at you again, burying his head in her neck.

"We are not… Anything more than just neighbors. Our mothers were very close. That also seems like a borderline stalker that you asked about me to several people, California. Covering your tracks and trying to flatter me won't be enough. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll see you in class tomorrow." You moved his hands off of you, before setting your helmet on the ground by your bike, marching over to where Steve was.

"Hey guys, what's the plan?" They stop gazing into each other's eyes, Steve turns around fully after helping Nancy off the hood of his car.

"Well since you're talking so much to the new kid we figured you wouldn't mind us just going and doing something." He tells you looking at Nancy's nod of approval, it makes you just that much more angry.

“Oh so you do allow me to go out with guys when it's convenient for you?" You ask him to condescend the statement that may or may not be true.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Steve bites back, finally looking at you taking note of how angry you are. Nancy keeps her head down, looking away.

"Oh nothing you kids have fun, I'm just going to do our Stats homework for us. Don't want to draw unwarranted male attention when you're Steve’s friend." You turn heel and walk away, seeing a horde of girls at Billy's car already.

I woke up to the noise of shifting fabrics beyond the cocoon of blankets I had created after yesterday's excitement. The sun glowing through the open balcony my lady-in-waiting Maygen would always open. waking me for the day. It would allow the air to run through my room slowly coaxing my body out of sleep. 

“Morning, Princess. I have set out your training leathers, Ser Harwin has asked for your lesson to be prompt after breakfast. Since you did not eat supper yesterday I’ve sent for your breakfast to be brought here.” Maygen couldn’t be older than my cousin, she was soft from the thick curls pulled back by strong cloth. To the supple nature of her voice when she spoke from her soft tanned skin and wine color lips. I sometimes envied her escape, as well her duties were simplistic in nature as she was only to keep me company, dressed and fed. Maygen would inform me of the delights of the market beyond the keep, and I would tell her the sights and wonders I experienced on dragonback. She’d become more of a friend and comfort than just a serving girl.

“Thank you, Maygen. I suppose no one else is within the dining hall this morning either?” She stopped in her fussing, folding and organizing the papers I’d left amuck on top of my table. She sighed, giving me enough when her shoulders dropped.

“I do not believe it to be your fault Princess. Family is a sensitive structure, I can’t hardly imagine, having the future of the realm on your shoulders as well.” A knock interrupted her, she moved to the doors of my chambers to answer. Hushed whispers were allotted until the door closed once again, Maygen entering with a tray of food.

“I’m starved.” I said as my gaze fell to a rolled paper sealed in red that peaked out of the side of the plate. “What is that?” I sat up completely taking it off the tray, resting my back against the headboard.

“It is from Pentos, Princess.” I opened the letter to find Laena’s penmanship beyond, she must have sent it days ago. 

Dearest Lyssa,

I write to you to ask for your presence in Pentos as we prepare for the birth of my child. If the Kings allow, since Rhaenyra cannot travel for her soon birth as well. I wish to have family by my side, as Baela and Rhaena were so sickly after their birth. We miss you greatly, Baela and Rhaena learn our ancestral tongue from my mine and your father. They are greatly excelling. I hope your study of Maegor may shape your knowledge of our past, so that we may not repeat our mistakes. Soon you will learn of King Jaeherys and your namesake Queen Alysanne. How your parents were betrothed by her wishes, and my mother was passed by for rule of The Seven Kingdoms. I would love to tell you about our family if you decide to join us in Pentos, I will even take you to the street markets here if you wish. Daemon may not say it out loud but I know he misses you and his brother deeply, it is only stubbornness that keeps us here. That and the endless library hall he spends his days and nights in. We hope to follow your reply soon, my love.

Until we see each other, gratefully yours Laena.

I rolled the paper up again when there was a brash knock at my door. Maygen going to answer this time she bows deeply, moving aside as I see someone enter around the corner. “Prince Aemond, my lady.” she called to warn, as he appeared hastily at the foot of my bed. I pulled on my sheets to cover my modesty at his brazen entrance. He held a parcel in his hand, my notebook piled underneath. It must have fallen out of my dress pocket when in the Dragon Pit yesterday.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Aemond says averting his gaze from mine to look out of my balcony open wide. “Are you not cold?”

“No, my Prince.” We did not say a word as he looked about my chamber's. It was uncomfortably silent, he brushed his hair out of his eyes when his mouth opened and closed. Like a fish gasping for breath, now resting to stare at the lumps of my feet underneath the blankets.

“My mother wished me to bring you a salve for your wrists. You also dropped your book in the caves yesterday, I wanted to return it.” He turned, setting both on my vanity, Maygen had set my robe on the edge of the bed, I climbed out of my plush covers to wrap it around myself. Unbenounced to me Aemond watched my movements within the mirror,

“Did you read it?”

“No, I did not have the time with my father berating me for my foolish nativity.” He chuckled without humor, examining the various pins, jewelry and perfumes cluttered on the surface.

“You are foolish,” I tell him with little sympathy titling my head in concern, the fear still bubbled within my nerves. “but the others are cruel. Will you be in yards today?” I ask taking a brush off my vanity, holding my hand out for him to sit. In front of me on the stool, we typically do this after breakfast in the hall. Aemond hated the unruly nature of his hair, white like his Targaryen father but as thick as Alicents auburn ringlets. He preferred to keep it out of his eyes, rolling them with a sigh, he slumped in front of me, hands upon his knees.

“My father wished me to put the whole ordeal behind us,” As he spoke I brushed his hair back, untangling knots he’d not taken care of when washing. 

“You are their senior, your nephews. And Aegon is your brother.”

“Don’t remind me, if it weren’t for our Targaryen features he may only be a street rat.”

“ ‘Mon.” I scold softly, looking for a leather tie behind his head. “Why did you go into the caves?”

“You know why.” He stated deadpan, his eyes looking at the intricate beading along my robe. “You have two dragon’s Lyssa. As my egg lays dormant. It’s not fair-”

“You are a boy. As I was born the first daughter of a man who does not want me. Many things aren’t.” Aemond holds my wrist, stopping the brush within his locks.

“I am a second son, the second son out of four children. Even my little brother was sent to Old Town as a cupbearer. My purpose isn’t known.”

“Then find it yourself.” I say, tying the top half of his hair back out of his violet eyea, walking around him to lay the brush on top of the vanity.

“When you laid claim to Silverwing, what did you do?”

“I saw her on a hill above the caverns of the Dragonmount, her and Vermithor. He took off, she stayed. Unfurling her wings in protest of me standing next to her, yet as soon as my hand touched her scales she yielded and yearned for my touch. Leaving her mate Vermithor to grant me a taste of the skies.”

“While the egg your father picked hatched in the Dragon Pit.” Aemond's voice was chilling as he spoke.

“Yes. I wish everyday that Bronze Tail would have rejected me so you may have a claim of a young dragon Aemond. It is not what the Gods wished-”

“The Gods?” Aemond stands from his seat, pinning me between him and the vanity. Despite being a few inches shorter his demeanor radiates power enough to topple empires. “They continue to test my patience, just as the rest of you do. Wishes and Fantasy will not make me a man.”

“No. It won’t.” I halt his thoughts, puffing my chest to his challenge “You do not scare me Aemond, just like the rest of them you are a mere boy. Yet if you let this anger fester any longer it will consume your heart and mind. Even without a Dragon you might become a man but you will never be one. Good or Bad.” Aemond’s brow creases in doubt, his anger exiting his shaking form like a snuffed out candle. 

“Ñuha mind jorrāelagon naejot sagon kostōba than ñuha prūmia.”

My mind needs to be stronger than my heart.

He whispers.

“Iā kostōba mind emā, kostā borrow ñuha prūmia.  Syt sir”

A strong mind you have, you may borrow my heart. For now.

I run my hand along his arm, the contact sending a shiver through my spine. His eyes finally meeting mine again are filled with the untapped kindness he keeps buried away for Helaena, Alicent, and I. 

“I will meet you in the training yards, ñuha prūmia.”

My heart.

Taking my hand in his, pressing his chapped lips to the first knuckles without breaking his eyes from mine. My head spins, floating in the space like the foam a top a freshly poured cup of mead. Turning on his heel, Aemond leaves out the door he came in, hair tucked back so he may wear his Gambeson comfortability. Aemond wears the opposite color to me, Hightower Green with a three-headed dragon as our shared crest. While his mind is clouded with similar envy, I bleed red for the hope of our shared devotion. Today, however, I will wear the bronze leather of my mother. Aemond's words ring like a melody through my head until I reach the yards. Forgoing everything left in my room but some roasted pheasant with a jug of water for my breakfast. 

My heart

My heart

My heart

ñuha prūmia

My shoulders ache as I push Ser Harwin away perring his blow to my left side, “You’re holding back, this is a dance. Even as a girl you need not be timid with me-” 

“I’m trying!” I huff, disengaging from the open area as he shuffles towards me.

“I am five times your size and even more in strength than all the other men in King's Landing. Be angry if you must Princess, but it is true. Give me a reasonable fight.” Harwin takes my wooden sword and unsheathes his broadsword along his hip, with open palms he hands it to me. I grip the handle with one hand, and the blade sinks to the ground immediately.

“How am I to beat you if I am at every disadvantage?” I heave the sword to waist height, rocking low in my hips staying at the ready. 

“Do not let your enemy see your fears, deceive me. You are smaller and faster, I am heavier on top than bottom watch for my legs. Then make your move, fast with full force.”

“You’re telling me how to defeat you, that’s cheating.” Wiping the sweat off my forehead with the crook on my elbow raised at the ready.

“Do you know why I’m called ‘Breakbones?’, Princess.” I shake my head still keeping distance as we circle each other. “Criston Cole broke my collar within his first tourney as the Queen’s Guard. I fought the rest of the day with my shoulder wrapped tight. You can do much more damage than him.”

“Okay, I’m ready.” With that, he charged to my left side again, I perried the blow, crossing our swords his strength made me bend back at the waist. I twisted the swords, ducking under him, gaining distance.

“You will never be ready, Lyssa. The world will swallow you whole-” He left his legs carelessly separated, pushing with my shoulder. I curved my body from where our blades met side stepping behind him.

"I will take it by Fire and Blood!" I yell, charging him

"You are a girl from a renowned family only." Harwin sees my open shoulder, slicing down on my sword to knock his elbow into my shoulder. I wail in pain, raising the sword again to a generous combo against my mentor. Only there isn't fear. He is laughing. Laughing at my attempts, this spurs on my rage and exhaustion.

“I am a Targaryen! The Seven Kingdoms need us, I am one of the most educated women within them.” Out of the way of his counterattack, I slice at the chains of his knees. He winces and shuffles orward. 

“Is that why Prince Daemon is out adventuring Pentos?” Turning he swings the wooden sword with full force, I wait for his shoulders to drop dodging the blow as dirt flies within the air. 

“My father doesn’t matter!” I scream, “I will triumph without him!” I use the weight of the sword hilt into his shoulder. 

“Get angry! Look at me, and see him!” Then stepping back, dodging the swipe to my waist I bring the sword to shoulder height holding and pressing to Harwin’s uncovered side between his ribs. Out of breath he drops his weapon, pushing mine away from his side it clatters to the ground. My knees droop as Harwin stands, he holds my head against his black leathers, my shoulders cradled by his other arm in an embrace. I breathe heavily and clutch at his sides as hot tears stream down my face.

“I’m sorry-” I hiccup,

“No, I am sorry. I needed you to feel, to fight for what is yours. You won Lyssa. Even if he is not here to see it, know that I am proud of you.” Harwin holds my face in his hands, wiping the tears from my face. “No man is worth this pain, Lyssa."

"Then why does it happen?"

"I wish I knew. Believe me when i say the gods have no control of mans' cruelty. Only the punishment within the next life. I heard what happened in my absence yesterday.”

“It was nothing-”

“You saved the Prince's life, a debt he will pay you for one day.”

“It was all Aegon’s plot, he tricked his own brother. Aegon is a vile-”

“Careful Lyssa. He is also a Prince-”

“The ladies of court say that Viserys and Alicent will wed me to him after I bleed. So I may bear him pure-blood children, in line with our Targaryen traditions.” Harwin bellows so loud it echoes through the walls, “Why are you laughing? Stop laughing at me.” I spit at him, smacking him along his bicep.

“My-my that is gossip if I ever heard any, despite you’re fathers faults and your lack of a mother like myself, he would never allow such a union.” He holds his sword and collects the other practice ones scattered around us, “You have a unique place here. They wouldn’t squander your hand on the likes of the Princes. You, Lyssa, have a great opportunity here, I see a treaty being made over your hand. While other ladies sew and play instruments while you do those amicably. As well you fight, speak High Valyrian, are a Targaryen King's ward and cupbearer. This means you have heard many royal decries and are strategic. Smarter than any other young girl I’ve met.”

“Even Princess Rhaenyra?” I snicker, 

“She learned from her misfortunes in all good time, as one of her confidantes. You've seen what to avoid. Rhaenyra has taught you the likes of being a mother as well.”

“I’ve never thought of it as that.”

“What I’m getting at is you are well spoken for Princess. Do not fear the future. You are beloved, and all will ensure you are well prepared for your role. Come now, we may catch the last of the Princes training. As I need my sword polished because of your heavy hands.” Walking into the true training yard of the Keep, Aegon and Aemond stand in Hightower green their wooden swords raised slicing at straw dummies behind Jace and Lucerys. Rhaenyra’s children wear Targaryen red and black.

“Aegon,” Cole speaks from across the yard, approaching the distracted Prince.

“I’ve won my first bout, Ser Criston. My opponent sues for mercy.”

“Well, you’ll have a new opponent then My Lord of the Straw. Let’s see if you can touch me. You and your brother.” He tells Aegon, who is laughing smugly at the idea. Not before spotting Ser Harwin and I beyond, he blows a kiss in my direction. I grimace as the Velyron sons walk towards us to watch. Viserys and Lyonel Strong on the balcony watch the training yard from above. He waves after a heap slug of whatever the Maesters put in his flask. At attention, the three fights, Jace and Luke , are pushed to the sidelines, forced to observe only and learn something from it. 

“Ah. Weapons up, boys. Give your enemies no quarter.” Harwin breaks our silence as Criston eyes closer, Harwin puffs his shoulders maintaining eye contact. “It seems the younger boys could do better with a bit of your attention… Ser Criston.”

“You question my method of instruction as you teach girls, ser?” Criston yells a good distance across the yard.

“Oh, I merely suggest that method be applied to all your pupil, before long the Princess shall overcome all the men in her family. Your best and brightest shall crumble beneath her steel.”

“Ser Harwin…” I warn, pink of face at the praise. 

“Pfft. Very well. Jacerys come here.” Criston grabs Jace at his collar pulling him into the center, “You spar with Aegon. Eldest son against eldest son.”

“It’s hardly a fair match.”

“I know you’ve never seen true battle, Ser but when steel is drawn, a fair match isn’t something anyone should expect. Blades up. Engage.” Aegon charges Jace, pushing him to the ground, turning to laugh at his embarrassment. Jace follows Aegon angry, shoving him backwards enough that Aegon cowares behind a straw dummy pushing it into Jace. 

“Foul play-” Harwin says grabbing Jace away from a impending strike,

“I’ll deal with him.” Criston whispers to Aegon. Each mentor speaking to their match while I stay at the side holding Harwins sword.

“You!” Aegon yells charging for Jace

“Close with him.” Criston hollers at Aegon as the young Prince pushes Jace backwards. “Press him backward!”

“Close with him.”

“Stay on the attack,”

“Use your feet.”

“Don’t let him get up.” Harwin watches silently as Aegon continues to hit Jace with full force, I drop the sword in favor of taking Lukes. Running to Jace, blocking the blow to his head with my sword and pushing Aegon back. 

“Foul play!” I grit through me teeth standing at attention,

“Stay on the attack!” Criston yells from behind Aegon, Aegon raises his sword up to swing at mine.

“Enough!” Harwin grabs Aegon before he can land a blow on my sword.

“You dare put hands on me?” Aegon screams, thrashing against Ser harwins strong grip.

“Aegon!” Viserys speaks from the balcony

“You forget yourself, Strong. That is the Prince.”

“Jacaerys is the future King by birthright!” I yell at Criston, sword still charged within my grasp.

“The battlefield is no place for a woman-” Criston charges to where I stand, taking my sword brashly, gripping my arm in protest, trying to control my movements. His touch feels hollow, hands clammy to the bare son of my hurt wrist. I grind my teeth in order to not show the effect he is having on the tender area.

“Tell that to my ancestors, my mother-” I hissed through a dragon’s tongue, stepping forward to meet his eye. His eyes widen as they gaze into mine. True fear fogs them until Harwin interrupts. He is walking the grounds, picking up the toy swords.

“This is what you teach Cole? Cruelty… to the weaker opponent?” Criston drops my toy sword on the ground Harwin kicks it away. Turning to sneer at the Commanders back, plotting and following. I dust Jacaerys off checking the blisters of his hands while the two men continue their battle of wits, for the King's audience. 

“Your interest in the Princelings training is quite unusual, Commander. Most men would only have that kind of devotion towards a cousin… or a brother. Or a son.” Harwin moves before any can react to Ser Criston being punched into the ground. It takes four Kingsguard to pull Harwin far enough away to stop any more damage.

“Say it again! Say it again!” Harwin screams as the King's Guard pulls him farther away, Criston spits a tooth with a mouthful of blood onto the dirt ground beside his head. While others gather around us in the courtyard, Ser Lyonel Strong has been dismissed for his duties as the newest Kings Guard is escorting his grace back to his chamber. Servants gather the Princes away for their studies, and I slip away to mine.

 -

 “This remains a Tully problem” Alicents tells the small counsel as take my second pass with the wine pitcher.

“I would agree.” Viserys says hand cutting over his goblet before I can fill it further, his head sags in exertion. 

“If we may move on, my lords-” Tyland Lanninster the replacement to my great uncle Corlys Velaryon as Lord of the Tides while he is absent. 

“And yet, the Brackens and the Blackwoods will use any excuse to spill each other’s blood. So… this dispute bears looking into. There will be countryfolk who know where the lines have been drawn for generations.” Rheanyra tells the council playing with the glazed stone in front of her. 

“That is easy enough.” Lyonel Strong agrees, with the ease of resources it would take from the capital. 

“Of course.” Alicent scoffs, draining her cup. I fill her cup and she rolls her eyes to me as well. I know it is only meant in frustration to fit in her position.

“Ser Tyland.” Lyonel clears his throat, 

“Uh, we should address the latest developments in the Stepstones, my lords.” The lion motions for me to fill his cup.

“Will we ever be shut of that blasted place?” Alicent rings her hands, fiddling with the rings among them. 

“If you ask me, I think the Blackwoods have the upper hand.” Lord Beesbury announced from a dazed position. 

“No.”

“We’ve moved on to the Stepstones, Lord Beesbury.” Maester Orwyle patted the old man’s hand, the only one of the counsel who was left from King Jaehaerys reign.

“And the Triarchy’s new alliance with Dorne.” 

“I was hoping our negotiations with Sunspear might persuade them to see reason.  To trust a Martell is to be disappointed.”

“Perhaps your Grace but I wish to bring forward our other option we spoke of previously. The lady herself has been awaiting this moment, this may be our last shot of redemption for the Martells.”

“The Marriage?” Alicent's brows cross,

“Marriage? There’s to be a wedding in Dorne?”

“This was merely an idea spoken over supper Ser Tyland, we have Princess Alysanne’s hand in marriage to discuss.”

“Me?” I gasp, the wine reservoir slips from my grasp, the red liquid splattering like blood on a beach shore. 

“Leave it sweet dove, come here.” Viserys holds out his hand to me, holding my freezing hand to his heated temple.

“She is to be of age soon. Just as her namesake made an alliance with The Vale and Targaryens after Maegor the Cruel. We have the opportunity to have a marriage alliance with The Martells and Targeryens.” Lyonel continues with a wink in my direction.

“We cannot do much without Daemon’s permission. If he knew you were shipping his eldest to Dorne he would burn this council room to the ground. Involvement of them in the trepidatious Stepstones or not.” Rheanyra adds, 

“And where, I wonder, is our Prince Daemon? Or I suppose I should call him King, as he styled himself when he won a battle there, once.” Jasper scoffs, swirling the wine in his cup.

“That was a decade ago and he has since left the region undefended.”

I wonder how Alicent has not found her knack for diplomacy after over a decade as Queen. Within this chamber I have yet to see her place any of her own love and care into the family.

“We have left it undefended. There should’ve been fortifications built, watchtowers, a fleet of ships, a garrison of soldiers sent to hold our ground.” Rheanyra interrupts her as if a Prince is supposed to have rein over unruly islands like the Stepstones. 

“We cannot afford it. Our coffers are great, but not infinite. We must consider the cost to our subjects”

“I must agree.” Beesbury nods his head, 

“The cost of war is greater. But we have been lax and the old monster now lifts its head.” Rhaenyra argues,

“The alliance with Dorne would be one of peace and trade, something the Stepstones cannot offer.” Tyland points his unsightly finger in my direction.

“My lords, if I may?” I asked mostly to Viserys, he nods

“Yes child?”

“I am to visit Pentos to be with Lady Laena in the Princess' stead. She is said to give birth to my fathers first son, will my pursuit to Dorne allow me-”

“Of course not Lyssa, you were sent as my emissary.” Rhaenyra orders the court, her voice and eyes study against mine. Then shift as she scans any man or more liking Alicent's challenge. It does not come.

“Let us be finished.” Alicent interrupts noticing how Viserys can barely hold his head up, using my hand as a anchor.

“Yes.” Viserys sighs standing with his Queen and the rest of the council, I step aside as we wait for Rhaenyra to join us.

“Wait. I wish to speak.”

“Be seated.” Viserys commands, every man in the rooms sits so that only myself, the Princess and Queen stand firmly among men. The makers of this family standing on opposing sides, while I am met with a choice to follow only one. Only time can spare me in such a choice.

“I have felt the… strife… in our families as of late, my queen. And for any offense given by mine, I apologize. But we are one house. And long before that we were friends. My son Jacaerys will inherit the Iron Throne after me. If Princess Lyssa is to be sent to Dorne or to wed Aegon as rumored, I propose we betroth him to your daughter, Helaena. Ally ourselves. Once and for all, let them rule together.” Rhaenyra smiles brightly at her stepmother, once her closet friend now an equal. An heiress, a mother and ruler of the Seven Kingdoms.

“A most judicious proposition.” Viserys boasts,

“Additionally, if Syrax brings forth another clutch of eggs, your son Aemond will have his choice of them. Uh, a symbol of our goodwill.”

“Rhaenyra.” Alicents stares towards Rhaenyra's chest, to which I immediately take my camisole to put over her shoulders.

“Oh, seven hells… Um.” Rhaenyra slumps not her chair, hands covering her modesty.

“My dear, a Dragon’s Egg is a handsome gift.”

“The King and I thank you for your offer, and we’ll consider it duly. You must rest now, husband.” Alicent helps the King stand, he stops mid walk to address the room for a final time.

“Yes. Pack for Pentos Lyssa, we shall dine as a family before you leave.” I bow to my King and nausea swirls like curled milk in my belly at the impending goodbyes.

Masterlist

“Happy Valentine's Day, M’lady.” He opened the door to the trailer lined with rose petals from the door to his bedroom. 

“Oh Eddie this is so precious!” I jump to hug him, a flash from the hallway interrupts. Turning to see Wayne ready for work, holding a polaroid camera up to his line of sight.

“Welcome to the Love Shack, now big kiss you love birds!” I have to move Eddie’s hair behind his ear to kiss him. Another flash happens and he doesn’t let go until I pat his shoulder needing air,

“Thanks for staying,” he walks over to Wayne taking the polaroids from the counter and looking through them.

“Hi, Y/N.”

“Hi Uncle Wayne, Happy Valentine's Day.” I say kissing his cheek, giving him a huge hug before reaching into my bag, ”Now I know you don’t like presents but this is food so it doesn’t quite count. It’s just to show how grateful I am to be a part of your family.”

“Y/N-”

“Please, Wayne! I insist, open it.” I begged, bouncing with excitement giving him the biggest puppy dog eyes like Eddie said.

“Eddie, why didn’t you talk her out of this?” He turns to the boy leaning on the counter,

“Believe me I tried, she even got me to aid her in this torment! She’s very persuasive.” Shaking his head Wayne opens the box of homemade empanada’s, his brow furrowed in confusion looking at Eddie with a giant grin. He adjusts his stance turning to me again,

“Did you make these?” He asks with glossy eyes, all I could do is nod in response. 

“I know you don’t like sweets, but they’re actually quite savory like Eddie promised. The filling is Pork and Apples-” He sets the box on the end table near me, picking me up in his arms into a bone crushing hug. Closing my eyes, I hugged him just as tightly back.

Even if Wayne wasn’t Eddie's biological father, he always wanted to be and he became him. In every other imaginable way, they took care of and loved each other as father and son. Even welcoming me as his own too, despite my flaws and struggles. The love I felt for Wayne, the closest thing I’ll have for a father for a long time coming. It is indescribable and natural, a tear escaped my closed eyes as hard as I tried to push the emptiness down of losing that person. Dad and Jim, they weren’t coming back but god did Wayne love me just as fiercely as they would. He shook out a laugh and crushed ‘thank you’ into my shoulder, setting me back down. Pulling away, he wiped a hand down the length of his face and squeezed my bicep. Stepping towards his nephew, giving him the same embrace only unable to pick up his boy now. 

“I love you, Son.” He told Eddie, loud enough for me to hear through the swell of emotion in the room. Eddie buried his face into Wayne’s shoulder, dipping his head in agreement.

“I love you too, Dad.” Their arms loosened around each other, Wayne pushed Eddie's hair out of his face. Holding his face tightly, pinching his nose to stop the onset of more tears he turned back around.

“If these are half as good as your mother’s, which I couldn’t imagine a world they aren’t. And you don’t marry that woman-” He started, pointing a finger at me standing in the entryway. Eddie held his up in surrender, eyebrow hidden under his overgrown bangs and tongue poking out of his closed lips. 

“Then and only then will you be sleeping outside in that van of yours, while we eat these all to ourselves.” He clapped Eddie on the back turning to his box of goodies, with a joval smile plastered to his face. Taking out three, passing them amongst us.

“Now this was my third attempt, I’m still struggling with the dough to filling ratio and not burning them-” Neither of them were listening as they bit into the empanada’s, each respectively had a unique shape of their own but the thought clearly made it all worth the while. When both of them shared respective groans and nods of approval,

“This batch is delicious!” Eddie said through the remaining mouth full of his, sighing in relief I took out another large tupperware of them from the tote.

“Good because Steve, Robin and the kids are sick of eating them.” Eddie squealed in excitement, kissing my cheek.

“I love you.” He looked like his heart were about to explode any minute,

“Shit!” Wayne said, looking at his watch, grabbing the rest of his definite lunch for the first time in a long time for his shift ahead of him. Walking around where Eddie and I blocked in the small space, patting him on the back and kissing me on the cheek as he went for his work boots at the door. “Thank you children, but if I stay any longer than I insisted tonight for photos my team will string me up. Or worse, think I was enjoying myself for once in ten years. Be good! No noise complaints, please!” He ran out the door of the trailer, starting up his truck making his tires skid on the gravel pathway out of the park.

“Too much?” I giggled watching from the side window, empanada still in hand.

“Nah, he’s old with a heart of gold. He’ll never forget it. Now me on the other hand?” His hand on my waist twisted me to be face to face with him, lips still swollen from the car from this angle I could make out every fine line and beauty mark on his face. The small scar above his eye from falling as a child. The closed batched ear piercing in his left ear when he was going through a faze. They way his lashes kissed the faint dark circles under his eyes, eyes of molten chocolate swirls to sweet for this world.

“You?” I choked, drunk on him already.

“Yes, you nearly got me in trouble little miss!” He squished my sides in his hands, making me gasp with faux distress.

“Oh no...” I shook my head pouting to hide my laugh,

“Yep, what are we gonna do about that?” His nose crunched adorably, hugging me to his waist.

“Guess you’ll just have to marry me Munson, that way you’ll never have to sleep  in that Van while you uncle and I enjoy my cooking.” I cupped his face in my hand, soft and smelling of the aftershave he used before dinner.

“I will marry you one day,” His lips cascaded over mine in a barely there gesture, a promise, “Marry you so hard.” He smiled against my lips before dipping further to close the distance.

“Good thing you a man of your word.” I rubbed our noses together unable to contain my smile.

“Yes Wayne taught me well.”

“Indeed he did, but maybe you can indulge in some of the naughty thing I taught you?” My hands smoothed down his shirt on his chest, quickly before he swept my feet from under me in a feat of passion and strength.

“Yea Ma’am! 86′ is definitely my year baby!” He yelled as he dragged me to his room,

“Eddie! No noise complaints!” I laughed clapping his shoulders on the way to the rest of our lives.