“Alcohol tastes better than the thought of you loving somebody else.”

It‘s funny how the prospect of death seemed so far away when I was a kid. There was no real worst case scenario that included losing someone I‘m close to. Now that I know what it feels like to lose someone, death seems to surround me, I see and feel it everywhere I go, in everything I touch. I used to think to myself: "What‘s the worst thing that can happen?" and smile, while I pondered over the very likely possibility that everything is going to be fine, eventually. Nowadays I‘m not so sure anymore. Nowadays I‘m scared. All the time. And I guess this is growing up.

Ich vermisse die Tage, an denen ich noch genau wusste, was mir fehlte. Ich war zwar traurig, aber wusste auch warum.

It comes in waves

I guess, one day I have to tell you