εїз ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ ʙɪɢ ❜

                ❝i’ve been saying the same thing for months now.❞ she’s not trying to pry. really.                 she also knows that octavia is a hell of a lot STRONGER than anyone she’s ever                 met, so talking to her about this? probably wouldn’t happen, but raven reyes                 rarely gives up. ❝i’m sorry about lincoln. he didn’t— i mean. it’s all kinds of                 fucked up.❞

▐  ❛  @earthsfirst​  //  ★

                ❝   between the seven of us, we’ve searched every corner of camp- - - - - - - -  this place is a literal ghost town.   ❞    his words easily beget a (  g r i m a c e  )  &&  he can’t help but cast a look over his shoulder.   ❝   … where do you think they all went?   ❞  

                They weren’t exactly BFF’s, but it didn’t mean Raven didn’t care.                 That she wanted to give her a hug and tell her it gets easier.                 Even if it doesn’t. There’s a pause as she reaches for the                 younger Blake. ❝Hey, how… are you?❞

          “—…i hope you aren’t just saying that because i feel really uncomfortable,” he’s certainly out of his comfort zone but the free drink in his hand made it somewhat worth it. “i’m getting wasted, i hope you know.”

@earthsfirst

         “i don’t know why you had to drag me to this thing. the fact i have to wear a suit, tavi. a suit. i look like a sham!”

       he’s quiet the whole way out, only because he’s focused. it’s easy for him to slip into soldier mode, especially when the person he’s trying to protect is his sister. he’s a lot more levelheaded now that she’s by his side — when he had first learned she was taken, bellamy was frantic, desperate to leave arkadia immediately and go find her. kane & miller had been up to the challenge, others not so much. ( and bellamy didn’t trust anyone else enough to ask. he couldn’t risk getting caught. )

       he doesn’t stop until he’s sure they’re safe, the coverage & distance allowing time for a breather. even if the grounders did follow them, kane & miller stood out of earshot, watching the horizon for any sign of danger. ( he wondered if the pair knew the siblings needed a moment alone. ) now that he’s not caught up in the mission, bellamy has to face her — has to face how badly he’s screwed up. he finds himself at a loss for words, swallowing guiltily & avoiding her gaze.

     ❛ no. he doesn’t know i’m here. ❜  bellamy hadn’t stopped to ask for permission. he was sure his absence would be realized, as he wouldn’t be at his post for guard duty, or at pike’s side. he wondered what that meant for him when he returned.  ❛ monty caused a distraction. we slipped out without anyone noticing. ❜  of course when hearing octavia was in trouble, monty had been more than willing to support their cause.

      ‘ i didn’t think you’d show up. ’  the words hurt more than he’d care to admit, but it wasn’t like he didn’t deserve them. he & octavia had been at odds ever since their trip to polis. ironic that it shortly followed a heartfelt conversation about how she’d always be home to him — that they fit together, even if she didn’t feel like she belonged. there’s no one but himself to blame for what they’ve turned into. he feels a hint of disgust at what he’d become: someone his sister couldn’t rely on.  ❛ i shouldn’t have let anything bad happen to you in the first place. ❜

              ❛ he hates me. ❜ she doesn’t say it with SADNESS or remorse. it isn’t a cry for attention or a cry for bellamy to make it better -- just an observation. it was one thing to be hated on the ark & have her life turned into a crime, it was another to be hated on the ground. in all honesty, she hates him just as much. probably more, if she’s being honest.  ❛ after i warned the grounders, he’s gonna want my head. i shouldn’t even be going back.  ❜ the words come out too calm, too EASY -- as if she wasn’t talking about her own life. 

              she hates that she’s going back to a place that hates her so much. she felt like a puzzle piece that didn’t quite fit into a camp -- an outsider around people that were supposed to be her own. all sky born, all trying to survive on the ground. a part of her will always be BITTER about that. another part, the larger part, doesn’t want to have any connection with camp anyway. even if it meant not knowing where she was supposed to go.

               his words make a SMALL smile spread on her lips, though it’s mostly bitter. it reminds her too much of the relationship they had before he sided with pike. it reminds her of how easy it was for her to always rely on him for everything, how dependent she became on that trust. the belief that he would always try to find her, no matter what. for the first time, that faith she had in him had SLIPPED. instead of thinking about him coming to rescue her, she assumed he wouldn’t even try. she thought that her brother was too far gone. even if him being beside her now is living proof that she was wrong, she still hates that she doubted him to begin with. butting heads with him was one thing, even arguing with him, but not this. this was new territory for her. 

give me a series & i’ll tell you ! 

               ❛   first of all   :   you’re not going to crash   &   burn.   ❜   reassurance coats her voice, gaze softening from across the table. to some, she’s brazenly self assured   :   overbearing   &   loud in a way that’s earned her a reputation. but with octavia, she’s nothing short of gentle   &   soft, mushy   &   placid.   ❛   second of all   :   even if you do   —————   which you won’t   —————-   we’re still celebrating.   ❜