E. Olsen

“Maybe you wouldn’t be picked on if you were kinder. Happy people don’t pick on others without a good reason, so try being nicer to them from now on.”

In the middle of my embarrassing tirade, I had asked my teacher: “What unkind thing did I do to deserve this? Was I supposed to stop them by kindly ripping out every page of my book and kindly handing it to them all to make flushing easier?”

Yesterday, the dude was just casually sweeping it into a dustpan once the truck was out of sight. Asked him about what he was doing, said he's using the salt that "[his] taxes pay for," and just went about his day.

It's when the bots and spammers invade the COMMENTS on stories, not just private messages.

It's so deeply insulting. Imagine being a younger kid, seeing a review, and thinking there's someone who likes what you wrote, and you find out it's just a bot or a spammer with unsolicited art commission requests.

But the actual insult comes in where the message is wrapped up in words that are otherwise like a legit review or compliment:

Oh my gosh, this prologue gave me chills in the best possible way. The way you reveal Ed through his memories and interactions feels so intimate and heartbreaking. His detachment mixed with those small, aching moments of connection with Jones made me want to know everything that pushed him away and what, if anything, could bring him back. I loved the tension in the rooftop scene and how ordinary details like a toolbox or a cigarette become heavy with meaning. Your voice is so confident and cinematic here, and Ian's entrance at the end left me breathless and wanting the next chapter right now. Please keep writing more of this world I'm already utterly invested in

Blah, blah, blah.....

I hope you're doing good. I'm genuinely inspired by your writing style the world you create through words feels alive. As a comic and digital artist, I'd love to collaborate on a book cover that visually captures your story's personality. I believe the right design can make your book stand out even more. Discord: gilgitsoon What's your?

And it's often clear the "reviewer" didn't really read your piece because the titles they reference aren't even correct.

Hey! I just read a few chapters of Nowadays and I'm seriously impressed. Your writing style is so engaging and thoughtful. I've got a few ideas I'd love to discuss with you if you're open to it!

Sometimes, it's an otherwise genuine question that could inspire deep conversation in any other setting:

What an interesting story it is i have few questions regarding can we have a conversation on pm?

And another otherwise genuine question:

Hi! I hope you're doing well. I just read your Young Adult story and I really enjoyed it the way you captured the emotions and experiences of the characters felt so real and relatable. I'm curious, what inspired you to write in the Young Adult genre?

This was a school assignment: write a poem from a friend's point of view. I naturally had to pick my chronically late friend who was always aware that he was late and holding up the rest of the group. He was always aware how this affected us and had some excuse, and he was very aware of how late he was while dragging his feet. He was aware of all his tardy-related transgressions: past, present, and future.

Needless to say, he ceased to be a friend.

... Wendy's psyche-lock is the best demonstration of the mechanic.

"When you have a moment..." I never have a moment.

"Good morning!" There is no such thing as a good morning.

"At your convenience..." So never. Got it.

"I trust/hope this finds you well." I don't want it finding me, well or otherwise.

Then, I got too busy with high school.

Then, I got too busy with undergrad.

And then, it was too busy with grad school.

And then for the next nine years after grad school, I was busy establishing myself in my current career.

So yeah, I got a lot of catching up to do. Many memes from high school are starting to make sense now, too.