my ick is dharma

I really do think Entity! Nikki is a childish existence and on top of it I think that's why it feels so bad to see her becoming traumatized from being with Bear when his wish ripped out parts of her that made it impossible to love him. Not! Nikki exists as sparknotes of her former self with the missing pieces filled in by Bear's own personality and habits, but she's still being traumatized because fundamentally Nikki and Bear's relationship is defined by her saying no and him not caring. It why I see the ending scenes of the movie as really nauseating because Not! Nikki is this new being without life experiences gauging her personality and behavior off of Bear's reaction and she starts to associate her genitals with violence. Entity Nikki is crying in the corner and starts to force herself to sleep at night and give Nikki full control because before that scene E! Nikki has the real Nikki's nightmare about how Bear raped her. It makes me feel sick since she's like a child that can't comprehend what's happening or why this is all hurting, and why she feels terrified by someone she loves. She doesn't understand why she feels so violated when one of the scenes with her and Bear is her assuring him he didn't violate her cause that's what Bear wants her to be telling him