dysmotility

Unmasking autism had such a positive impact on my wellbeing. After reading it, I basically came away with the impression of you being smart and competent - which you 100% are IMO. Then I randomly found your tumblr like last week and realized you're also kind of a hot mess. It makes sense. Dr. Demon Prince is also you, but not what is reflected in a widely published book.

There wasn't a moment of epiphany where you overcame and transcended. You just continued being you, which is a complex and messy human. I guess I didn't see the connective sinew between pre-diagnosed riding-the-struggle-bus Devon and the PHD Devon who wrote an impactful book when you're the same person.

It is very encouraging to me to see that. I too can be a hot mess, but also competent at what I am good at. Looking forward to reading Unmasking for Life.

I wish that people would realize that every single author they have ever gotten something meaningful from is a goddamn fucking mess with fucked-up relationships, questionable morals, intellectual and emotional blind spots, compulsions, and insecurities that radiate off their person as clear as sunlight. and it's not just authors either. every professor or teacher or mentor that you've ever had is completely incompetent in so many areas of their life that you can't see; every boss who has intimidated you is ultimately feckless to the extreme and has probably completely obliterated their marriage, finances, or just their whole life in five different ways. nobody that you look up to has any fucking idea what's going on, and every authority figure around you papers over the holes in their person with the symbols of propriety and status. nobody's admirable, nobody knows what the fuck's going on, most humans are driven by their emotions, their desire to be loved, and a collection of insecurities that have been katamari damacy'd onto them throughout the course of their life. Don't be impressed by anyone. Don't ever think that someone is out of your own intellectual or emotional league, or use them as a cudgel with which to punish yourself for all that you lack. these dumb motherfuckers lack a whole lot too. and you can take what is useful from a person, or an idea, without expecting purity or perfection from them. All that is good in humanity comes from us as snarling, petty, insecure, cheating, angry, wounded, crazy beings.

it wasn't collaborative; it was imposed. it wasn't curious about my needs; it was imposing their vision of how they wanted me to behave. it wasn't about addressing my pain; it was about addressing specific things i did with that pain which were deemed undesirable.

in contrast, self-destruction was routinely a way to act against power + authority that were causing me to feel belittled, unloved, trapped. finding ways to self injure when every second of my life was monitored. finding ways to use 'coping mechanisms' against themselves as ways to harm myself. cultivating self-hatred because i knew that's what i wasn't supposed to be doing + i needed to rebel against the people telling me what i was supposed to do (this rebellion is sacred, btw).

now, as an adult, taking care of myself still feels like something i'm Supposed to Do under Penalty of Punishment, while self-destructing still feels like resistance + freedom. self-destruction feels like a precious thing that proves that i belong to myself + self-compassion feels like people trying to take away that belonging.

Source

CDC Wastewater Viral Activity Monitoring

(old butch at the DMV with crows feet)

I believe in god

This list includes doctors in the United States, Australia, Canada, and Europe!

Even if you're not the target demographic, please share for any of your friends who may be.

The rapid growth of the new 988 mental health hotline has been greeted with positive media coverage. As many people expected, calls, texts, and chats to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, now renamed “988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline,” started climbing immediately with the launch of the 988 number in July of 2022. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) and the nonprofit that was given centralized control over the 988 system, Vibrant Emotional Health (VEH), have been releasing monthly updates on key metrics.

In April 2023, compared to April 2022, calls answered increased by 52%, chats by 90%, and texts by 1022%. The trend was heralded by federal Health and Human Services Secretary Xavier Becerra to CNN: “Our nation’s transition to 988 moves us closer to better serving the crisis care needs of people across America. 988 is more than a number, it’s a message: we’re there for you.”

However, as previously reported by Mad in America, a percentage of people who contacted the former National Suicide Prevention Lifeline were subjected to geolocation tracing of their phone, computer, or mobile device. The Lifeline advertised itself as a place for confidential discussions about suicidal feelings but, according to its own policy, if a call-attendant believed a person might be at “imminent risk” of taking their own life in the next few hours, days, or week, the call-attendant was required to contact 911 or a Public Safety Answering Point to send out police and/or an ambulance to forcibly take the person to a psychiatric hospital.

Many Lifeline users described the experiences of betrayal, public exposure, police interactions, loss of freedoms, and forced psychiatric treatment as dangerous, harmful and traumatizing.

So, since the transition to 988, has anything changed? As contacts to 988 rise, how many people are getting forcibly subjected to these types of unexpected, unwanted interventions?

It appears detention numbers are climbing dramatically, too—even as VEH, SAMHSA, and many news outlets continue to obfuscate the facts publicly.

Cripple means broken and useless. We're seen as a bad and redundant part of society, something to be fixed or forgotten about.

CripplePUNK is about taking that place in society, really a not-place, and saying yeah, I AM worthless to most of society, people don't want to be me or be around me because I make them uncomfortable just by existing. We're considered the lowest of the low and the most useless of the useless. We used to be called invalids for a reason. And fuck you my life is worth it anyways. I'm going to give my worthless life the meaning I choose to give it. I'm not going to spend my entire life trying to be a good cripple and do all my physical therapy and eat perfectly and be nice to people who "didn't mean it" and everything else to try and be worthy of respect from people who think my life is worth than death, I'm going to do what I think is worthwhile and if you don't like me or like the way I live then you can go fuck yourself.

If you're not willing to take on all the baggage of being a cripple, cool. A lot of people don't want that, but cripplepunk is about throwing your disability and your 'uselessness' to society back in their face and experiencing disability on your own terms.