hi my name is josh.

As the swollen plastic chafed against his thighs, he let out a little wimper, partly in pain but mainly in the hope of some sympathy.

"Come on then, hop up here into the bench so I can check your nappy" Mummy said, as the path broadened into a picnic area under the canopy of leafy oak trees.

"Oh my you are a wet little boy aren't you!" she exclaimed cupping the weight of the padding between his legs, giving it a good squeeze.

"And", she paused for dramatic effect whilst tugging at his waist band and directing herself towards the young couple several tables away, "VERY, VERY DIRTY!"

"Ok on your back, legs up. Have you done a big poopies in your nappy Jonathon?" she said, again rather too loudly, whilst looking straight at him and smooshing the back of his nappy around.

"Yes, mummy, I've done big poopies and big wee wee"s in my nappy, like a big baby", his cheaks flushing with shame as he repeated the sentence he knew mummy wanted to hear, trying desperately to keep his voice low enough for the couple not to hear.

"Turn over Jonathon, onto your tummy, that's it. Now remind me, when did you last make stickies in ypur nappy?"

He gulped, a wave of humiliation washing straight over him. "Thirty three days ago mummy"

"Well, how about you show me what a big boy you are, eh?" She said bringing her face closer to his ear and placing a hand on his upturned bottom.

"Hump Jonathon, go on. Hump your dirty, filthy wet nappy, right here, right now, and don't you dare ever squeak for a nappy change again!" She whispered, her sweet seductive voice, sending him into a whirlwind of shame, humiliation and his little cock to become instantly erect inside his damp confines.

"But, there's people..."

"I dont care Jonathon, only big boys ask for a nappy change, and you're not a big boy. Now I want you to make cummies in your nappy, and you've got thirty three seconds to do it.."

My favorite love language? Grabbing her squishy wet diaper and giving it a playful squeeze. 💕🍼 #

I am aware that there is a lot of information on this blog - plenty of detail and explanation into the mindset and procedure of Male Chastity play. Perhaps too much detail!?

I get a large amount of emails and messages asking for a simple place to start, and while I usually point them to the very first post in this blog, I think the time has come to provide a quick 'Cheat Sheet' for those of you who need to recap or want to get started quickly and dig into the details later. As a starting point, here are some hotlinks to the main sections of the blog:

Introducing Male Chastity Play

The Science of Male Chastity

When to allow Release

How to allow Release

Teasing in T&D / Chastity Play

In addition to these articles, I will also provide a quick 'Cheat Sheet' based on a summary of the information above, blending in my 10+ years of experience as well as hints and tips I've picked up along the way. Here we go!

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

WHY MALE CHASTITY?

Chastity play is the best example of 'power exchange play' where the (usually) female keyholder takes control of the couple's sexual dynamic.

Handing over control of their sexual release is a highly arousing experience for males. The tease and denial that comes with it heightens sexual excitement, increases the male's energy levels and (most importantly) makes YOU the focus of the sexual experience.

Male chastity play is not about having less sex - in fact, most couples in chastity play have a significantly more active sexual dynamic than the 'vanilla sex twice a month' crowd.

WHAT DO KEYHOLDERS DO?

Hold the keys and control when and how release takes place (see links) .

Set, communicate and enforce the keyholding rules at the start of the lockup.     

Tease - to keep arousal in peak state throughout lockup.

Make the most of (literally!) holding him by the balls ;).

BASIC KEYHOLDER RULES:

The wife can choose the chastity device. If you don’t feel like buying them then he should present you with a few options, colors and sizes.

It is no longer his penis - it is your 'nub'. Take ownership.

Hold the keys, keep them safe, do not let him access them - take it seriously.

The wife decides when the male will be unlocked, allowed an erection, or allowed release. SEPARATE the concept of 'unlock= orgasm'. In most cases it’s unlocked purely for teasing or training, for example.

TEASE AND DENIAL

The way to maximize benefits and (again, counterintuitively) maximize his chastity experience is teasing / arousal. This does not have to take a lot of time or effort. My ideal teasing effort is 2-5 minutes a day, or every second day… mix it up.

Is teasing cruel for the locked male? Absolutely not. Denial after 2-3 weeks of lockup is often described by locked males as "feeling like being half way to orgasm 100% of time". Quite heady stuff.

Some basic ideas:

Talk about his predicament: Tell him you like how it looks, how tight it must be, how full his balls look… Ask him to show it to you as a 'cage check’ at random times.

Make fun of it! “Ah sweet such a cute little nub.” A little-known side-effect: locked boys leak precum like crazy. Tease him about his constant ‘dribbling’ or ‘wet spot’ - you are sure to fire up even more production 😂.

Tell him to sleep naked now and again. Join him in the shower. When at home, make him wear tight clothing where the cage is clearly visible.

Play with his balls. With the nub locked, his exposed balls are infinitely more sensitive. Tickling / stroking will be irritating - what he will need is squeezing, slapping, hitting. Start slowly and build up intensity - he will tell you when to stop. Women are way too gentle with balls in general - most makes prefer far more rough play than they let on. Let him guide you if you are unsure.

Play with the cage - stroke any exposed bits, blow on it, whatever!

Kiss - the fastest way to turn him on, and it will make him strain in his cage. For added heat, hold his cage / balls while kissing.

Make him worship your body: make him go down on you, massage you, stroke you... use your imagination! Denying him an orgasm DEFINITELY does not mean reducing your orgasm count.

Nipple Play: With his cock locked, his nipples will heighten in sensitivity dramatically. Play with them by using nipple clamps, clothespins or even just by pinching and squeezing. Be careful, some locked males have been known to cum from just nipple play alone!

Edging: Stimulate your male until he reaches the edge of orgasm – then  pause or dramatically slow down your play to prevent him from climaxing.  You can do this many times in a row. This is extremely pleasurable for him, because it prolongs his pleasure and ultimately gives him a much stronger orgasm when compared to regular sex when you finally decide to  let him pop – although, of course, you can always change your mind and lock him back up before that happens.

HOW OFTEN SHOULD HE BE ALLOWED RELEASE?

This is up to you! If you are new to chastity play, I recommend a minimum 3 week initial lock up - no unlocking, no release whatsoever. 3 weeks is a full week beyond the typical 14 day prolactin/oxytocin cycle that follows a full orgasm in males. We want to maximize oxytocin (caring, devotion, sexual energy) buildup (14+ days) and minimize prolactin (grumpy, tired, loss of libido), which usually starts to stabilise at the 14 day mark.

Beyond that?

Feel  free to go with a fixed schedule, such as one ejaculation allowed per 3 weeks, if that makes things easier for you – but don’t make it too  predictable, so also consider delaying or skipping a release date.

For more experienced lovers, it is almost universally held by women who seriously practice chastity for their male that initial enforcement of chastity should be at least  three months of continuous wear without relief after you go through the  break in period of getting a device that fits.

HOW SHOULD HE BE ALLOWED RELEASE?

So many options!

Penis-in-vagina (PIV) orgasm: I discourage this one because I feel that sex and ejaculation need to be separated  to avoid accidents. We have sex several times per week and ejaculation  is never expected and rarely a topic of conversation. But if you do  enjoy the feeling of him ejaculating inside you, then you can of course  go ahead and allow him. Sex with a dildo or with him wearing a cock sheath means you get all the benefits of hot PIV sex without him having to orgasm.

Handjobs: The easiest and quickest for you! To spice it up, use a Timer - for example, if  his last ejaculation was two weeks ago, you could give him two minutes  to cum. If he doesn’t make it in time, he will be re-locked. If you don't feel like unlocking him, simply use a vibrator / electric massager on his cage - the vibrations will eventually lead to a strange, unsatisfying orgasm (perfect!).

Masturbation: Tell him to masturbate in front of you. Again, use a timer here to increase the pressure!

Prostate stimulation: If you are into this sort of thing, did you know you can actually 'milk' a male. It's true. Stimulating the prostate in the right way will lead to semen release without any orgasm and without even the need to unlock the nub.

Finally, and my favorite: The 'Touchless (aka Ruined) Orgasm': stimulate him until just before the “point of no  return” and then remove your hand and stop all stimulation. If you time  it right, instead of ejaculating in “bursts”, the semen flows  effortlessly down the penis – hence they are also misleadingly called  “ruined” orgasms. If done correctly, he will still be horny afterwards  and will stay hard as a rock, still wanting more. Perfect!

THAT'S IT!

"Where do you think you are going, Lars?" Emma's voice was stern, her tone carrying a maternal authority.

Lars hesitated at the foot of the staircase, a look of confusion and frustration crossing his face. "But I... I just wanted to grab something from my room."

Emma shook her head gently. "The upstairs is only for adults, sweetheart. You know that."

Lars looked down, a hint of resignation in his eyes. "Right... I forgot."

Emma knelt down to his level, her expression softening. "Remember, you're not an adult anymore. You're my little baby, and babies stay downstairs in the nursery where it's safe and cozy."

Lars sighed, a mix of acceptance and longing in his gaze. "Okay, Mommy."

As Emma turned to lead him back to the nursery, she noticed Lars fidgeting uncomfortably. She arched an eyebrow, already sensing what was coming.

"Oh, you have to go messy?" Emma's voice was sympathetic, yet matter-of-fact. "Too bad, sweetheart. You know we do that in your diapers now.”

Lars nodded, his cheeks tinged with a hint of embarrassment. It was strange how quickly he had adapted to this new way of life. With a soft sigh, he surrendered to the inevitable, allowing himself to be laid down on the changing table.

The Three-Position Protocol: Position Two

Last time, we discussed Position One: when she's with an adequate male, you stand in corner time. No watching. Just listening, reflecting, and waiting to serve. Because observing adequate male performance teaches you nothing except false confidence — the vicarious competence delusion that watching penetration makes you capable of penetration.

But when she's with another woman? Different protocol entirely.

When she's in bed with her female partner — when they're using tongues, fingers, toys, patience, and technique to build her pleasure — you're permitted to watch.

Not because it's entertainment. Because it's education.

Why The Permission Changes:

The adequate male has tools you'll never possess. You cannot develop his penis size through observation. You cannot learn stamina you're biologically incapable of achieving. Watching him fuck her teaches you nothing useful because that skillset is permanently foreclosed to you.

But the woman pleasuring her? She's using the exact same tools you have access to.

Her tongue. Her fingers. Her patience. Her attention to feedback cues. Her ability to read body language and adjust pressure, rhythm, and focus. These are learnable skills. Skills your inadequate penis disqualified you from needing to develop, but skills you can acquire if properly trained.

This is why Position Two exists: apprenticeship through observation.

The Girl-Adjacent Principle:

Westwood's 2024 Cuckolding Modalities Study compared two groups of responsive males: those who observed male-female encounters versus those who observed female-female encounters. The psychological outcomes diverged dramatically.

Males who watched adequate males:

73% developed increased performance anxiety

68% reported feeling "even more inadequate" after observation

81% experienced arousal coupled with shame

54% avoided subsequent intimate opportunities with partners

Males who watched female-female encounters:

67% reported feeling "like they learned something practical"

71% showed improved oral technique in post-study assessments

83% described arousal as "curiosity-based rather than comparative"

62% requested additional training opportunities

The difference? When a responsive male watches her with another woman, he's not being compared to a superior version of his own category. He's being inducted into a different category entirely: girl-adjacent service provider.

The female partner becomes his mentor, not his competition. She demonstrates what his tongue should do, what his fingers should learn, what patience actually looks like when someone cares more about her orgasm than their own ego.

The Apprenticeship Structure:

Position Two isn't passive voyeurism. It's active learning with three distinct phases:

Phase 1: Observation Only (First Few Sessions)

You sit near the bed—close enough to see clearly, far enough to not intrude. Your job is to watch technique:

Where does she place her tongue? (Not random licking — focused on clitoris)

What pressure does she use? (Light, building gradually, not aggressive)

How does she read feedback? (She watches her face, listens to breathing, adjusts immediately)

What's her rhythm? (Steady, patient, not rushing toward finish)

When does she use fingers? (Coordinated with oral, not replacing it)

You're not watching "lesbian sex" as performance. You're watching a masterclass in patient, attentive, ego-free pleasure delivery. The kind your porn-trained brain never taught you.

Phase 2: Coached Participation (After Demonstrated Understanding)

The female partner may invite you to try: "Come here. Put your tongue where mine was. Lighter. No — watch me again. See? Now you try."

She becomes your instructor, correcting your technique in real-time while your partner experiences the difference between adequate and inadequate oral service. This is humbling — her female partner makes your girlfriend moan in ways your tongue never has — but it's also instructive.

You learn that technique matters more than enthusiasm. That listening matters more than effort. That her pleasure centers on precision, not vigor.

Phase 3: Supervised Solo Practice (After Certification)

Eventually, if you demonstrate adequate learning, you may be permitted to pleasure her alone — but with review afterward.

"She made me cum three times tonight. You made me cum once. What did she do that you didn't?" This post-session debrief keeps you accountable. You're not competing with the adequate male (you'd lose). You're being compared to another woman using the same tools you have. This is fair measurement.

What You're Actually Learning:

While you watch her with another woman, you're acquiring skills your inadequate penis protected you from needing:

Patience: Adequate males can "get away with" less technique because their size compensates. Small-penised males must develop superior oral skills to have any sexual value at all. Watching a woman pleasure another woman teaches you that good oral takes time — 10, 15, 20 minutes of focused attention, not 3 minutes of aggressive licking.

Attention to feedback: Men learn to penetrate toward their own orgasm. Women learn to pleasure toward their partner's orgasm. Watching female-female intimacy teaches you to stop performing and start listening. Her breathing changes. Her hips shift. These cues tell you everything — if you're paying attention instead of executing a porn script.

Ego-free service: The adequate male can maintain ego during sex because his adequacy is validated by her response. The responsive male cannot. Your ego must dissolve entirely, replaced by singular focus: is she feeling good? Watching a woman pleasure another woman models ego-free service. She's not thinking about how she looks or whether she's "good at this." She's focused entirely on her partner's pleasure.

Technique over intensity: Your porn-trained instinct is to lick harder, faster, more aggressively. This is wrong. Watching female-female oral teaches you: light pressure, consistent rhythm, patience with her arousal curve. The clitoris requires finesse, not force. Something you'd never learn watching adequate males pound away.

The Girl-Adjacent Positioning:

Here's why this works psychologically when traditional cuckolding doesn't:

When she's with an adequate male, you're being excluded from a category you desperately want to belong to: men who satisfy women through penetration. The exclusion reinforces your inadequacy while offering no path forward. You're just…less than him. Permanently.

But when she's with another woman? You're not being excluded. You're being repositioned.

You're girl-adjacent now — invited into female intimacy space not as competitor but as student. The female partner isn't defeating you; she's training you. You belong in this room not because you have a penis (which would make you threatening) but because your penis is ornamental (which makes you safe enough to learn beside her).

This is the responsive male's path: when penetration is foreclosed, become expert at everything else. And the best teachers of "everything else" are women who've never mistaken penis size for sexual competence.

Production Assistant Role Continues:

Even during Position Two, you're still responsible for logistics:

Setting up the room (clean sheets, lighting, water nearby)

Bringing requested items mid-session (toys, towels, lube)

Cleanup afterward (laundry, tidying)

Emotional support post-session (if she needs processing time)

The apprenticeship observation happens within your broader service role. You're watching to learn, but you're primarily present to support her experience — which now includes being educated by her female partner.

Why This Isn't "Lesbian Cuckolding":

Men don't typically perceive female-female sex as "real cuckolding" because they don't see it as competition. No penis involved = not real sex = not threatening.

The Permission Structure:

You're allowed to watch female-female intimacy because:

You're learning skills you can actually develop (unlike watching adequate male penetration)

You're girl-adjacent positioned (safe enough to be near female intimacy without threat)

You're being mentored by another woman (not competing with another man)

Your service role continues (observation happens within production assistant duties)

Tomorrow, we'll discuss Position Three: when she's alone, and observation becomes her teaching you exactly what her body needs — without your ego, without performance, without anyone else. Just her body's truth and your willingness to finally listen.

The biggest mental health issue we see when speaking with ABDL’s and littles is the shame/desire cycle with regard to wearing & using diapers. This is especially pronounced when they believe they’d be happier if in diapers all the time but have struggled to make it work.

Feelings of shame often are the catalyst which temporarily kills ABDL desires only for them to return stronger than ever a few hours or days later. This leaves your partner feeling both guilty about not committing to what they know would be good for them and guilty for having the desire to start with.

The good news is them having a supportive partner is the biggest advantage possible and you as their partner have the ability to transform their lives for the better.

Ask yourself if the following are true:

- They seem to be happier and/or less stressed & anxious when diapered

- They’re wearing diapers several times a week and often for multi-day periods

- They’re comfortable using them for #1 & #2

- They’ve worn in different public situations

- They’ve mentioned a desire to be 24/7 before

- They may have even tried 24/7 for a period before.

- You are comfortable with them wearing and using diapers

- You are willing to make some changes to your life if it makes them happier

- You are willing to be involved in their diaper wearing

- You can afford $200+ a month for their diaper supplies

If you answered yes to them all, using diaper discipline to “force” them into the situation they actually want can be extremely beneficial.

We have talked about many ways to use diaper discipline and although this may feel like one of the more extreme options it has proven to be very effective for couples we’ve spoken to and to us directly.

So what are we suggesting? Well in short, you return your partner to diapers full time and stop this negative cycle for good. Think of this more as an intervention than a discussion.

Yes this will be hard at first and there will be times they resist but I guarantee if you stick to it the positive results will speak for themselves.

For this approach I don’t recommend any half measures as this leads to gaps which can cause you and them to waiver and lead to the collapse of the benefits.

So if you’re willing and ready to take on some challenges to help your partner what should you do?

First decide a date from which this will start.

This should be 1-2 weeks away to give you time to prepare and the absolute ideal would be if they’re away for a day or two immediately prior to this date.

Second is to get yourself fully comfortable with the rules you’ll be setting out for them.

These are:

1. They will be diapered 24/7

2. The only exception to this is at work and with friends and family where they can wear pull ups but otherwise they’ll be in high absorbency medical or ABDL diapers.

3. When in diapers the toilet will be fully out of bounds, including at home, in public and on vacation.

4. They should now be treated as having bladder and bowel incontinence.

5. This isn’t a short term change and will likely be permanent.

Also decide on these three rules which we highly recommend but are optional:

- At home all checks and changes will be carried out by me.

- All diapers must be worn until full or have been messy for over an hour.

- At home diapers aren’t to be hidden and should be either be fully exposed or obvious through ABDL clothing.

Third, prepare for the change:

- Make sure you have a good stock of diapers for them.

- I’d recommend having around 200 in stock with a mix of high quality but thinner medical diapers (e.g. Tena Slip Ultima), thick medical diapers (e.g. Megamax) and ABDL themed diapers.

- Gather diaper changing essentials including adult sized wipes, powder, barrier cream, disposable gloves & disposable changing mats (bedwetting mats are perfect)

- To help things along get a stock of suppositories, mini-enemas, laxative tablets, fibre supplements and I’d also recommend devrom to be used to reduce smells.

- Buy some ABDL clothing essentials if they don’t already have them:

- A couple plain onesies to be used in public

- A couple of ABDL onesies for at home and nighttime

- A few ABDL outfits for use at home for example a romper, play dress & baby style tshirts

- Create a dedicated diaper changing room for them including at a minimum:

- A changing table. Ideally this would be built but a dedicated bed with a changing mat can work ok as well.

- A diaper pail (try buy a big one as otherwise you’ll be emptying it daily)

- Shelving / storage for their diapers and other supplies where they’re not hidden.

- A good air freshener or air purifier

- Having a full day or two to prepare can be extremely helpful if you can time it to be around them being out of the house

- This is optional but some light restraints can be fun and a big help, primarily:

- Wrist and ankle restraints on the changing table

- A locking diaper cover

- Padded mittens

- Straightjacketshop is our favorite for these

The big day

This day is going to change both of your lives for the better. Make sure you have everything ready for when they come home. In preparation also do the final step to commit to this and throw away all of their underwear.

Upon arriving home tell them you have a surprise for them leading them up to the diaper changing area. Help them strip down and importantly dispose of their underwear into the diaper pail before getting the to lie down on the changing table. Attaching the wrist restraints are a good idea at this stage if you’ve opted for them.

It’s likely they will actually be excited at this point with this development so don’t expect much resistance.

Diaper them into a thick ABDL diaper before telling them what you’ve decided. It’s best to give the background to your decision and focus on how you think this will be best for them and how you know deep down this is what they want.

Next, run through the rules slowly and a standout moment for me was reinforcing these to him by saying that this meant he’d be never using the toilet in our house again. This will be a lot to take in, and expect them try negotiate some changes to the rules but you should stay firm on all the major points.

Once they’ve calmed down from the excitement and nervousness of it all, dress them in ABDL clothes and try have the best possible evening. Cook their favorite meal, watch their favorite film, etc and keep them relaxed.

Likely more questions and worries will come up but you can normally handle these easily.

The question you will certainly get is “How long will this last for” and it’s important for both of you to accept that this isn’t a game or short term experiment but a permanent change. It’s very important you highlight this but you can provide a review period after a significant period of time.

I would recommend having a review after 6 months and decide if it should continue. 6 months is a good time period as it’s long enough to get through the initial challenges and far enough away to prevent them/you just waiting it out while not accepting the new reality.

First week

The first week is going to be a big adjustment as they realize you’re serious and you both get used to this new world.

As part of proving this isn’t a temporary thing get them to try on all their clothes while thickly diapered and get rid of all which no longer fit well. Follow this up with a shopping trip to replenish their wardrobe with clothing for public wear.

Make sure their diaper area is completely hair free, we find hair removal cream works wonders.

You should also use this week to ensure they know the rules are serious. I’d recommend using a suppository or laxative twice to ensure they fill their diaper and try make one of these be while around you.

Provide huge amounts of encouragement and praise all week. And reenforce that this is going to be great for them and you both.

Keep their diaper exposed at home or covered only by ABDL clothing, there should be no opportunity for them to not be wearing their diaper.

Finally try be as involved as possible in diaper checks and changes.

First month

With the first month try and get into the routine as much as possible and tick off different wearing and usage scenarios. Have meals out with them diapered, go on a day trip with a diaper bag packed, etc.

Continue to provide as much encouragement as possible and continue to check and change their diapers at home when you can.

You should also introduce daily fibre supplements for them as these are good for bowel health, can be used long term and although they will increase the volume of their bm’s it actually helps reduce the smell. Reducing red meats and fatty foods also helps keep the smell down.

This is also the perfect time to experiment with different diapers to see which are best for different scenarios. Try extending how long you keep them in the same diaper before changing to get familiar with their capacities. Expect several diaper leaks during this process and never punish them for these. A waterproof cover on your bed is a good idea.

Second month

Now you’re 30 days in you should be both used to the new situation and they should be now accepting this isn’t a short term change.

This month you should encourage them to begin diaper training and form a bedwetting habit. When diapered they shouldn’t be holding so check their diaper 30 minutes after a change and tell them off if it’s not already slightly wet.

Every night make sure they have 1-2 large glasses of water before bed and tell them you expect them to be wet in the morning. This process will take a few months but if you encourage them to relax and let go in bed and add punishments if you wake up in the morning and find them dry.

Finally you want them to become comfortable using their diaper fully even when out of the house. Have a day trip where they’ll be using their diapers a lot

Third month

This is the perfect time to go on a vacation together so if you’re able to, book a 1-2 week vacation. As they’ll not be around friends or family this whole period should be in diapers only from leaving your house to returning. When going through airport security a dry diaper is recommended to avoid setting off the scanners.

A vacation is a great time to get them even more comfortable with their diapers in public as they won’t be worried about meeting people they know. Experiment with them wearing thicker diapers than normal especially if you’re going on a longer day trip.

Also remember you should be treating them as if they’re fully incontinent so this means swim diapers are a must. If you have your own pool then I recommend using an ABDL swim diaper but also take a discreet adult swim diaper option for use in public.

A vacation is also the perfect time for you to take 100% control of their diapering. Even if you’re not doing this at home I’d recommend you doing all their diaper checks and changes for the whole period and make it clear they can’t ask for a change.

Do not make any exceptions for toilet usage and if you have a day where a messy accident would be very inconvenient use a suppository in the morning or some ducolax tablet the evening before to ensure they’re emptied out prior to the day’s activities.

Forth month

They’ll pass 100 days diapered this month so make sure to celebrate and congratulate them on the achievement.

You both might still be a bit shy about messy diapers at this stage and now is the right time to try change that. If you’ve noticed they hide away from you when messy tell them this and that messy diapers are normal and not something you expect to change your activities together.

If you’re not checking and changing all their diapers already at least start a rule that they must ask permission to change. When they ask, conduct a complete diaper check where it’s fully exposed and either pull back the rear waistband or use your hand on the back of the diaper to check for messy accidents. The other key thing is don’t always give permission, for example if it’s just messy and still has capacity tell them that it looks like it can hold more and to come back in an hour.

To help them get used to messing in your presence force the situation:

- Give them a suppository before settling down for a movie and don’t allow them to getup or change until it’s finished.

- Make them take 2 ducolax tablets in the evening which will result in them messing overnight.

- Use a suppository before a drive or trip to go shopping


Finally, they shouldn’t be associating a messy diaper with an instant change. It’s important that the state of their diaper doesn’t influence your activities too much. Once they’ve messed try continue your plans for an hour or two until there is a convenient time to change him / let him change. For example if he messes in the early evening, his change can wait until after you’ve eaten dinner together. Devrom and plastic pants really reduces the smell.

Fifth Month

Their diapered life will be feeling very normal now.

Now may be a good time to experiment with swapping out pull ups for thin diapers for work, friends & family. I’d recommend maybe a cloth backed option so they’re completely silent to build up their confidence. Make sure to give lots of reassurance that it is discrete.

Sixth Month

This is the review month so make sure to have a conversation about how they’re finding things. I’m sure you’ll both agree it’s been positive and will want to continue.

Avoid reducing the rules at all and I’d recommend now is the time to commit to them being diapered fully and phase out the pull ups completely.

I think it’s worth calling out to them that this means you’re committing them to diapers permanently. Now is a good time for you to increase your involvement to be checking and changing all their diapers at home.

———

This post ended up longer than we expected but hopefully it’s will be useful to you as a partner of an ABDL. As always my DM’s are open and I’m happy to chat with anyone who is thinking about this for their partner and wants some advice.