afterglow.

the thing that no one decided to tell me about being a mom was that your child will somehow get an attitude just like yours and you just have to grin and suck it up. there's also the whole "you will buy several cartons of berries" a week thing that i somehow missed. please tell me about what you've been up too. i need some sanity in this house.

that's a side effect of being a parent, is it? you get to experience what you put your own parents through? neat. if that's true, then i can't wait. could be worse. at least it's berries that your kid is making you purchase. it could be like, straight sugar or something. sanity. hilarious. people don't usually come to me for that and i honestly don't think i can help. i swear i'm still battling wild jetlag, so things in the o'brien household aren't what you could call sane, to be fair.

nope, i'm just failing all around, just call me a disappointment. i know it. streaming it the day it came out huh? what's your favorite song? what's your favorite lyric? don't worry i'm absolutely not quizzing you! horror definitely isn't for everyone, and the trailer as good as it looks also is freaking horrifying alone with the track behind it. even if we've all learned there's some really great looking shows. i get it's more thriller or seems more thriller with a touch of horror. but losing sleep isn't something i want right now. maybe after the tour is finished i'll give it a try and if i lose sleep at least i'll have dibs. true crime doesn't give me nightmares, nope. fall asleep to that shit like it's music. aw, i'm not the only one like that.

calling you a disappointment feels a little too strong. don't worry, i won't roast you that badly. okay, so maybe i embellished a little. it wasn't the day it came out. i definitely listened the week it dropped, though. and surely that's close enough? same, same. i feel like i'm being quizzed here. are there any wrong answers? should i think about this carefully, or go with my gut? i don't want to disappoint you this time. yeah, fair. tour without sleep sounds like a nightmare, mate. that's wild. see, we're the opposite. the real life shit freaks me out far more than a horror film.

I don't wanna hear it. Shut your mouth. I'll try. I'm not making any promises - you should be keeping up with me, too. Since we're both so great at the whole letting people know what we're doing on social media thing. Just a small film with her, huh? Nice. Proud of you, buddy boy. Do I wanna hear this accent? I can't help it - he's my built in best friend and gives me amazing orgasms. You only are one of those things. I'll come by this week - spent a couple days back home where my granny showed me all my old costumes from back in the days so I'll swing around to New York before heading back to Vegas.

you started it. i'm just saying. yeah, probably. but i've pretty much been living on a film set. and that's not even mentioning the whole timezone thing. what's your excuse? alright, it's not small per-say. it's a good one, though. i don't know - do you want to hear the accent? you might be a little blown away by it. i don't know what gave you the impression that i wanted to know that, but thanks for oversharing i guess. vegas, huh? i suppose you can't get married again, so what's the worst that could happen.

I don't want to think about people fantasizing about you. Get outta here with that. I'm for real going to barf again. What were you filming in Aus? Here's me feeling all out of touch with things going on in your life. Can we make it a couple of weekdays? With him filming - I feel like I don't see him as much during the week. I've become the needy wife, oops. But otherwise I'm down.

you brought it up. i'm just agreeing with the sentiment. what can i say? i'm a desirable kinda guy apparently. yeah, you should really keep up with everything that i do. be a better best friend, damn it. just a little horror flick with rachel mcadams. worked on my australian accent while i was there, too. just wait until you hear it. prioritising time with your husband over me? honestly, i'll allow it. sure, a couple of weekdays is fine.

won't even pretend that i haven't been trying to get time to watch caddo lake since i saw the promotional trailer for it but i'm going to blame me being on the road as the reason i haven't watched it. when secretly i can admit, i'm more worried that it's going to give me nightmares lowkey. i say that as if i haven't been watching true crime podcasts and reading thriller stories in between getting ready for my shows. does it make any sense? no, but that's where i'm at. @dylobriien

you haven't seen it yet? what the hell, kels? and here i was streaming patterns the day that it came out. no, no. it's fine. i'm only a little hurt and offended. horror isn't for everyone. i mean, who hasn't learned their lesson by watching something a little too scary and ending up losing sleep over it? been there, done that. didn't quite learn the lesson. caddo isn't too frightening though, i promise. and the true crime shit doesn't give you nightmares? i guess you're built different, ballerini.

imsg || Dyl 🥒

Alright, dumbass - it's about time that you come out of hiding and make it known that you're not a figment of peoples imaginations. Don't force me to admit that I miss you. Cause I may barf @dylobriien

a figment of people's imaginations? people are going to fantasize about me that way regardless of i'm in hiding or not. but alright, bet. i just wrapped filming in aus and i'll be back in nyc shortly. ditch your husband for a weekend and come hang with your best friend, then?