Thoughts

The years of pain will be replaced by a lifetime of happiness. I won’t even have to fight for it.

Waiting is gonna be the hardest part.

Where is the light?

I thought it’ll always be easy to trust your decisions because I trust you. And that means trusting that whatever decision you make, it is for your good, it is for your betterment. I didn’t realize I’d come to a point of finding myself hard to trust the decision you’ve made. I questioned it; doubted it as if I know what’s best for you than you do for yourself. But maybe I don’t. Still, I find it hard to trust the decision that you’ve made. Probably because it involves leaving me and removing me from your life. But now I am realizing that that decision could be something you’ve made for your good and I just got to see it that way so I’ll be at peace knowing you’ve done something good for yourself.

I thought I know you. You thought you know me. And in between those assumptions are never-ending efforts to know each other.

Sometimes, you’d be so lucky to get it good and going the first time. Most of the time, you just can’t and that’s okay. It’s totally okay to try again until you get it right. Or until you know how to get it right for you.

At that time, I know I am soooo in love with him. And as my feelings grow deeper, I also start to feel massive fear. There may be a cause for that fear or there may be none but loving comes in pair and so does pain. I needed him more while he needed me less. And rejection of few attempts hurt more than denial of the truth. So at times I tried to conceal how deeply madly in love I am, hoping it will help him feel.

If ever I’m directed towards being part of a family, may I belong to a family full of love, support, and respect. A gentle family where shouting is not an option just for you to be heard.