i really dont think i can do this anymore.

yeah i feel sick.

im sorry

hi people, im alive. not back yet, just saw the amount of anons and wanted to say im alive and sorry for making you worry.

feeling like shit

my friend and i talked a lot after work, we sat in a park for over an hour and just talked and we talked a lot about weight and weight loss and we share a lot of our thought processes and i absolutely hate myself for it but its made me set my restriction limit even lower (500 again) because i feel like i have to lose it faster than she does. i have to get to my goal weight before she does

my mother came by at work to say hello i guess and my friend watched us interact and then as soon as she left she asked me if that was actually my mother because of the way we talked - there is no connection at all, it's even more distanced than how i speak with customers

my friend is sick too apparently but we both still have to go to work cause as the newbies they're so gonna fire us if we don't

im so sick does anyone want to kill me

had a dream about asphyxiation n woke up cause i couldn't breathe

good morning my whole body hurts

was woken up by the violent urge to throw up. kinda unfortunate when it's 1 am living at a student home with a shared bathroom

oh oh i had a bunch of really asshole customers today but also a couple of really nice ones and there was one guy. who was just as confused as i am and it was so funny and he was so nice and so sweet and also immediately used the informal word of 'you' which i always enjoy

so my friend and i were closing up and there was a lot more food left over than usual and usually we just stay quiet and throw it all away since we have to but there were so many sandwiches and we both looked so distraught and sick at the thought of throwing it all away that our manager said that today's an exception and we were allowed to pick out some sandwiches and take home. still hurt to throw away the rest but we always have to do that so at least this was really nice of her