i like that thomas malory tends to use french when he simply doesn’t want to think of a name. like let me introduce you to this woman whose only characteristic is that she’s really mean to people whenever she talks! her name? maledisant.

equivalent of being like 13 and being like what epic and unique name should i give my cool new OC??!! hmm…google translate what is the french word for darkness

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

time to make a post on tumblr. surely no one will interpret it to be as offensive and bad intentioned as possible.

being a writer will have you googling things like "are trees real worldwide" because what if trees are only a thing in your home and nobody else on planet earth has ever heard of them

big tshirt that says MY INTERPRETATIONS MUST HAVE A STRONG BASIS IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL on the front and THIS IS FUN TO ME on the back

The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day "Would like to see a picture of some genitals?" my answer would be "😰 No, that's... No, thank you. I'm okay, actually." I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I've spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet... to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers' license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don't even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!

@isuggestrevolution do you have any ideas

attaching something to an email is so scary. what if i accidentally put hard-core porn in there. i don't think i have any downloaded but what if i do and i attached it to the email. what then.

#okay obviously I want both#if I HAD to kill one it would be guitar#because technically you could just have drums and then other instruments and your voice as melody#it wouldn't be the same but you can't really replace drums music would be so empty if you removed them!! (via @paulinamakes)

#you could rules-lawyer a guitar ban pretty easily#Nah bro this is a baritone ukulele with two extra strings. etc (via @opus72)

AAA video game publisher voice: "Look. The goose layed a golden egg, and that's nice! Everyone loved that egg. But keeping the golden goose means paying for bird feed and I don't want to, so I killed the goose."