since i left you...

“I’m pleased to know my faith gives you the strength to do the unthinkable. Maybe if I believe hard enough you’ll actually manage to catch my interest and get an O, all while sleeping your way through class and making everyone wonder how you did it.”

“Honestly I’d be more impressed if you were able to pull off that plan in a more challenging class, like ancient runes or arithmancy. But you know chase that mediocre E, I believe in you Sirius.”

“The Italian Renaissance, hm? That most definitely is not a bad idea. What do we plan on seeing there? Michelangelo?”

“Mm, probably yeah he seemed like a pretty cool guy. I really like the whole painting the gates of hell behind the pope and all, great sense of humor he must’ve had. And then I dunno maybe we’ll pop up to Venice for a bit and say hi to Davinci.”

“Again, why did you sign up for this class if all you ever do is sleep?”

“That sounds like a plan. A nice break from all this madness, wouldn’t it be? Are we planning to take a trip back in time to the Roman Empire, then?”

“Definitely not. I think the Italian Renaissance would be far more preferable, less general carnage.”

SEND A  ▲ AND I WILL GENERATE A NUMBER FOR WHAT MY MUSE SAYS TO YOURS.

“i’m not sure where you got this wild idea to be out past curfew, but we’re both aware you know better. would you like to explain, or should we skip to e escorting you to the nearest awake staff member?”

“I’m literally coming back from detention with Slughorn, the old man lost track of time and held me in the dungeons forever, haven’t I suffered enough?”

@dxrcsmdxws.

“Completely serious, Moaning Myrtle definitely fancies you.”

“Well, cousin, like attention, personality happens to work in the same way. My personality depends on who it is that I’m speaking to. Had you been a more….respectable person, then my personality wouldn’t be so unsavoury. Everything is a two way street, no? Including my need of being ‘an arsehole who only knows how to impose upon others’. That, cousin, is only something you witness. But I suppose that you’d just have to learn how to ignore my presence if you aren’t going to simply pack up and leave and grant yourself the peace you wanted.”

“Even if I had been born a ‘respectable’ person it wouldn’t change the fact that you’re a terrible person because you’d still judge people based on their blood alone which y’know makes you a bigot, i.e. a terrible human being. But fine if you’re gonna stay then why not make the most out of it! What’s the latest in the world of the incredibly racist and disgustingly wealthy?”

SEND A  ☂ AND I WILL GENERATE A NUMBER FOR WHAT MY MUSE SAYS TO YOURS.

“Ah well, if it hadn’t been you speaking to me, I would’ve paid a little more attention. Alas, you can’t blame a man for not listening well when the speaker fails to capture his interest, no? But no, I’m afraid that I won’t be willing to ‘kindly fuck off’, as you would put it, considering that you could easily ignore my presence or perhaps even find someplace else.”

“Ignore your presence? My dearest cousin, your repellently unsavory personality is so strong I wouldn’t be able to ignore it if I were all the way in Australia; how do you expect me to ignore you when we’re occupying the same room? I’d honestly love to hear any tips or hints you may have. Anyways moving is out of the question, I was here first. There’s no way I’m going to simply pack up and move simply because you’re an arsehole who only knows how to impose upon others.”

“Whoever stole my broom has 24 hours to return it, or else the injuries on those missing students will look like nothing compared to what I’ll do to you.”

“I’m sorry, what was that? I’m not quite certain if I heard right.”

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were going deaf in your old age. I said ‘would you kindly fuck off?’ I know the word kind isn’t something you’re used to hearing, but you should be pretty familiar with the fuck off bit.”

“–i don’t believe he said that exactly. so no, i don’t agree with you.”

-”shall we find a time turner so we can go back to that exact moment? fucking hell, i don’t know why i’m wasting my time trying to convince you. you are a selwyn after all. i don’t think my current anger and suffering is something a person like you would be able to conceptualize, is it?”

“the only person who thinks that here is you? he didn’t do anything.”

“he literally just called me a ‘dirty-blooded mongrel bitch’ on account of my dad being a muggle. if anything i should’ve hexed him to hell and back i think i was pretty nice about it. you’ve got the etiquette of a disney princess, surely you agree with me?”