Just finished hamlet & had to share THIS
btw this is literally what goes down. it’s great.
You just know the ye olde peasants went NUTS at that last part
We don’t say sblood enough we should bring it back
Today's Document
trying on a metaphor

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@dwimmer-crafty
Just finished hamlet & had to share THIS
btw this is literally what goes down. it’s great.
You just know the ye olde peasants went NUTS at that last part
We don’t say sblood enough we should bring it back

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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hey man. nice regional dialect. mind if i apply some baseless assumptions about your personhood to it? i was also gonna prescribe morality to it as well. if that’s cool with you
Package containing three reusable silicone lids for preserving supermarket hummus, which cost very little and which I honestly don’t give a fig about: we’ve posted your parcel. (we’ve posted your parcel.) your parcel is posted. Your parcel is posted. Your parcel is moving. Tracking number for your parcel. Your parcel is being hand-carried to the depot by a courier named GREG. Your parcel is nestled gently at the DEPOT. Your parcel has been fed and watered and given a comfort break. Your parcel’s overnight nurse is named DILYS. She has twelve years of experience and a qualification. She reports YOUR PARCEL is DOING WELL. YOUR PARCEL HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. YOUR PARCEL HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. Your courier is named MERVYN and he is an AQUARIUS. your parcel is due at 12:13. We apologise. Your parcel is due at 12:17. This is due to MERVYN encountering ROADWORKS. Your parcel is circling. MERVYN is on your street. MERVYN IS HERE. Here is a photo of your feet with the parcel. Your parcel ARRIVED. how did you like MERVYN. Was he okay. Would you use him again. Would you trust Dilys to safeguard the following: a glass case containing a crystal gem / a balloon / a bucket of water. Your parcel was four minutes late. We’ll email you forever now. Do you like this
Package containing fragile and valuable birthday present to myself, anxiously awaited: due date of FUCKOFF Posted NEVER 💅
Tags that made me laugh
Tumblr Code.
If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”
that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything
I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person
must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!
Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.
always reblog tumblr identification
good god this just crossed my dash in the year of our lord 2023
I LIKE YOUR SHOELACES??? IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2024??
Let’s take it to 4 million, folks!
almost there!
TO 4 MILLION!!!!!!!!!
THE ORIGINAL SHOELACES POST?? ON MY DASH IN 2024??
shoelaces. on your dash. in 2025.
Now seen in 2026
Happy 14th birthday to I Like Your Shoelaces
Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!
happy too tired July everyone

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I saw the skirt, got super excited, and was not disappointed
Prev tags via @lostlegendaerie because I am LOSING IT at this
Encounter: “hi, I’m Guy Faerie, welcome to the Flavor Forest on Dungeons Dragons & Drive-Ins”
The other day I walked to a local cafe and there was a group of goth kids all sitting at the middle table with books out, tabs and highlighters and fresh coffees at the ready. As I waited for my order I was curious what they were reading (I knew it in my heart) until one person said something about "wait let's go back to where she said she was a war crime-"
A sense of peace settled over my heart. Hope is alive this pride month.
why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead
this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job
Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety?
“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.”
I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…
I mean.
“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”
“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.”
This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future. So the next time you see artwork like this:
Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”
Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*
This post is a blessing
Congratulations! Odysseus! You’ve been selected as a winner for the free $1000 Amazon Gift Card, Apple iPhone X 256G or Samsung Galaxy S8! Claim your prize now!
Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites
Oh my god they were phishing
How do you preserve the food from your garden so it doesn't go bad before you can eat it?
You are wildly underestimating my ability to go fucking feral about fresh produce. I don't think I even brought snap peas into the house last year. Just ate them right off the vine.
Though I did end up freezing the strawberries/blue berries as they ripened, but even those were consumed within the week.
The only tough one was the potatoes, but that was resolved by just foisting potatoes on everyone I knew. Much more welcome than Zucchinis.
Oh this is why every gardening person I know keeps trying to give me the food they grow
That, and we love you. Homegrown produce is a love language.
Unless it's zucchini. Then it's a cry for help.
Tomato (June) - I think highly of you; treasured friend
Tomato (September) - you are a warm body that is nearby
Fresh new asparagus - romantic love
Artichoke - fondness
New rhubarb with leaves removed - flirtatious potential
Rhubarb with leaves left on - the bloom is gone
Swiss chard - I have made mistakes
Perpetual spinach - declaration of animosity between our houses
White-fleshed potato - you are a neighbor
Blue or red fleshed potato - as above, but with overtones of camaraderie/affection
Kale - you are a person who was nearby when I had kale
Raspberries - you are a person I admire
Strawberries - you are a treasure
Onion - I am confused
Young French beans or young peas - I thought of you especially
Runner beans - mild criticism; familial ties; gift from parent to child
Pumpkins - overt romantic, sexual or childhood-bestie interest; highest declaration of loyalty
Prettily coloured popping corn, I.e. glass gem - let this seal the breach between our houses
Zucchini/courgette - cry for help, resignation
Novelty pumpkins - marriage proposal
just in case anyone forgot how wildly colorful Georgian interiors could be, even among the working class to the wealthy:
and EVEN WHEN things were more muted/neutral, the neutrality was OFFSET by ACCENT COLORS and HIGH CONTRAST between the wood tones and everything ELSE
ALSO AMERICAN COLONIAL INTERIORS POPPED OFF, Y'ALL (IN TERMS OF COLOR/COZINESS)
PEOPLE USED WHITEWASH AND COLORFUL TRIM OR EVEN JUST COLORFUL FURNITURE IF THEY COULD AFFORD TO DO SO
AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON FRENCH AND BRITISH AND AMERICAN WALLPAPERS
"ELIZABETH" YOU CRY, "WHY ARE YOU BEING SO EXTRA THIS MORNING?! IT'S MONDAY"
Because, my friend, my war on GREIGE will NEVER end.
Historic interiors were filled with LIFE and LIGHT and COLOR. ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.
Part of the reason we don't see a lot of textile art is because, frankly, textiles tend to degrade over time - especially ones that had utility! And yes, pigments and weaving and dying all boosted the expense of things, when we were finally reliably block-printing fabrics and broad reams of paper, it was no longer just the wealthy who could afford pretty patterns!
In the Americas, a far wider variety of pigments also became available because of the abundance of... well, a shitton of flora and minerals, some of which weren't as common in Europe.
WHY THE HIGHLIGHTER COLORS? you ask.
CANDLES.
Those colors reflect candlelight and natural sunlight REALLY WELL.
Humans LOVE bright colors, it's NOT just a thing for kids. We live in a brilliant, vibrant, multifaceted world. We ALWAYS have.
(STOP MAKING YOUR HISTORIC SIMS 4 BUILDS BE BLAND. STOP IT.)
On the subject of Colonial America: don't forget, even if you couldn't afford wallpaper, wall stenciling might still be in reach!
(If ever you have the opportunity to visit the Stencil House at the Shelburne Museum in Vermont (pictured above at 3, 4, and 5), I highly recommend.)
And that's before you get into American painted murals:
Embrace the decorative arts, folks!

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i think we should stop calling them baby names so people remember they’re not just naming a baby but also a future twenty seven year old with a resume
that's why bella called her kid resume right away
I think children should be allowed to vote their stepparent out of the home
stepdad has to keep his approval rating up. or else.
— Hamlet Prince of Denmark
dealing with the worst case scenario
your condom breaks
you feel a lump on your breast
your friends are ignoring you
you’re stranded on an island
you got rejected by a crush
you get into a car accident
you got stung by a bee/wasp
you got fired from your job
you’re in an earthquake
your tattoo gets infected
your house is on fire
you’re lost in the woods
you get arrested abroad
you get robbed
your partner cheated on you
you’re on a ship that’s sinking
you fall into ice
you’re stuck in an elevator
you hit a deer with your car
you have food poisoning
your pet passed away
you fall off of a horse
you or your friend has alcohol poisoning
you have toxic shock syndrome
your house has a gas leak
I feel like this could be useful in my future
REBLOG THIS. I CANNOT STRESS HOW IMPORTANT THIS GUIDES ARE, BOOST THIS SHIT
If I don’t reblog this one of these things is definitely going to happen to me
I’m gonna reblog for y’all but also for me bc I’m a writer man I need this random info
This is so so incredibly important
Queer joy detected!

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I’m suddenly laughing at the idea of a cliche noir detective story written in the brutally concise style of Hemingway.
A woman walked into my office. She had legs. I noticed her legs. “I have a problem. I need your help,” she said. They always said that. I knew her legs weren’t the problem. I hoped she might want my help with them anyhow.
“Can you pay?” I asked. Of course she could. Her shoes were worth more than my rent. She could pay. “I can pay,” she said. Her eyes were wet. I wondered if anything else was wet. Probably not. I am not handsome. Not since the war. She was looking at my scar. Lots of people do. Most look away. Not her. She did not look away. She looked at my scar and I looked at her legs. There were two of them. I liked that about her. I liked that a whole lot. “Will there be danger?” I asked. There always is. This city bleeds danger, then drinks it right back up again.
“I’m afraid there might be danger,” she said. She had the voice of a beautiful woman. She also had the face and body of a beautiful woman. She was beautiful.
The light from the window was striped. It made stripes on my cigarette smoke. The end of my cigarette crumbled into ash. My marriage had also crumbled into ash.
“I can handle danger,” I said. I patted the butt of my gun. My gun was a Colt. My gun and my scar were all that was left from my time as a soldier. My gun, my scar, and the nightmares. I looked her up and down. “I am good at handling things.”
“It’s about my husband. He’s gone missing.”
She was not wearing a ring. It means something when a woman does not wear a wedding ring. Usually, it means that she is not married. “Seems your ring has also gone missing,” I said. I hoped her dress would join it.
Her red mouth curved upwards. She was smiling a little. “I don’t wear it outside. A diamond that large would only invite trouble.”
“In my experience, trouble doesn’t wait for an invitation.” I looked at her legs again. They were both still there. “When did you last see your husband?”
imagine youre cinderella and youre running away from the ball and your. actually i cant tell which shoe would be funnier to lose