Ace Visconti enthusiast

Ace lets out an undignified noise and unceremoniously shoves Felix away from him.

“Whoa, hold your horses,” Ace says. His voice sounds more breathless than he anticipated and his lips tingle in an unfamiliar way, probably from Felix's stubble.

“Sorry, I didn’t—” Felix says in a rush. His face is flushed and he reaches out his hand, before cringing and lowering it again awkwardly. “I’m sorry, I’m moving too fast.”

Ace blinks. Too fast? Is there some part of bro code that Ace missed, where friendship eventually leads to shoving a tongue down your best bro’s throat?

“I just got excited,” Felix continues rambling. “I had no idea you felt the same way.”

This time, Ace is sure that they’re having two completely different conversations.

“Come again?” Ace says.

“The letter you wrote me,” Felix says. “I know you’ve been flirting, but I never thought that you'd want something more,” Felix keeps going, then smiles and lets out a small sigh. “I'm so relieved.”

“Uh… Are you talking about the note I left you?” Ace asks.

Felix nods. “Yes, the love letter.”

Love letter!? Felix read Ace’s half-assed, completely platonic mess of bullet points and somehow got the idea that it was a love letter!?

“But it was just a list,” Ace explains. “I didn't mean anything by it.”

Felix frowns. “A list about…all the reasons you find me attractive?”

“Yeah!” Ace says. See, Felix gets it after all.

Felix’s frown gives way for a pointed stare, like he’s waiting for Ace to figure out the punchline of some inside joke. Ace should have added that to the list: Is handsome even when he’s looking at me like I’m a complete idiot.

The silence stretches on, until Ace feels compelled to speak.

“I’m not gay,” Ace explains.

Felix is quiet for a few more seconds, then simply asks, “Are you sure?”

Ace physically recoils at the question. Nobody has ever been absurd enough to question his sexuality before. Has Felix missed all the times he’s sung praises for the female body or flirted with nearly every single woman in camp? He just asked Kate for a kiss, for crying out loud!

Well, Felix is a little sheltered after all. Ace can’t really blame him for not picking up on obvious sexual tension in front of him.

Ace chuckles and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Only you could ask me something like that.”

“Only you could make me ask something like that,” Felix mutters, then shoves a piece of paper at Ace. “Read your lett—your list again, and then we can talk.”

Ace rolls his eyes but grabs the paper nonetheless. “Fine.” The list will only prove Ace’s point, and even if he doesn’t specifically want to humiliate Felix, it’ll be satisfying to point out all the concrete evidence of why he’s wrong.

The list reads,

Why Felix is the hottest person in the realm and it's not even a competition

By Ace Visconti

A face probably carved by the gods themselves

Pretty eyes

Great hair

Intelligence is sexy

Hot German accent

Fantastic ass

Takes care of his body, just the right amount of muscles

Best dressed person in every trial

Very sweet, would bring you water and a snack after fucking your brains out

Amazing artist, could draw you like one of his French girls

Marriage material

Blushes cutely

Adorable when he geeks out about houses

Suit kink, anyone?

Dry humor, makes me laugh

Listens to me ramble

Easy to be around

Anyone would be lucky to be with him

Ace's face gets progressively warmer with each line he reads. While making the list, he just jotted down whatever sprang to his mind without giving it a second thought. But now he can maybe, sort of, just barely, understand how Felix could have got the wrong idea.

“No, see, you’ve got it all wrong,” Ace explains.

Felix crosses his arms. “How so?”

“I was just stating objective facts, it doesn't mean anything,” Ace protests, waving the list pointedly. “Everyone’s always talking about how hot and amazing you are!”

“Really?” Felix says. “I’ve never heard someone comment anything even remotely like that. So who, exactly, is saying those things?”

What on earth is he on about? Ace can recall a hundred conversations at the campfire that drifted from trial talk or gossip to how stunning Felix looked in his newest suit or how important his quiet confidence was to the group morale.

Granted, Ace can’t remember specifically which of the four dozen people brought up the topic of Felix’s hotness over the years. Except…

“Well…me,” Ace finally says.

Felix merely raises an eyebrow in lieu of saying anything.

“I'm not gay!” Ace repeats. “And neither are you, for that matter!”

“Nobody is questioning your attraction to women,” Felix says patiently. “And I’m bisexual.”

Something strange flips in Ace’s belly at this revelation and he promptly ignores it.

“Well, good for you! I’m not!” Ace exclaims, his volume rising.

“Then why did you kiss me back?” Felix demands.

“Reflex!”

“For several minutes!?”

“I don't know!” Ace says, throwing his hands up in frustration. “It's been a long time since anyone kissed me and—and it's not my fault you smell nice!”

“I…smell nice?” Felix repeats.

“Yeah!” Ace says. “So it’s your fault.”

Felix stares at him incredulously, his mouth even hanging open a little. Ace stands his ground, meeting Felix’s eyes and puffing up his chest.

“You are, by far, the dumbest person I've ever fallen for,” Felix eventually says.

------