Sorry for this rant-like message. I have some questions too towards the end. I do consider myself a feminist but the way some extremist feminists behave online is so upsetting. I am particularly talking about the Ketan Agarwal case and how some feminists have been victim blaming or finding excuses of arranged marriage or caste system to try and lessen the accused’s burden of guilt. I saw this happen for cases where the woman is the victim too like in the Twisha Sharma case, some people were blaming her caste, brahminical patriarchy or Indian marriage institution for such a terrible crime. I have read a couple of feminist authors and it is upsetting how much some of them try to put the blame on the Hindu way of thought and living for crimes against women in India. There is lack of serious scholarly research behind why such marriage related crimes against women and lately against men happen, in a way that does not contain Hinduphobic-bias.
I don’t know why but whenever such homicides happen, they are not treated as cases of individual pathology or criminal mindset but they are turned into ideological battles about caste-patriarchy, Hindu foundations of family or existence of marriage as an institution. Extremist feminists try to perpetuate their propaganda and attack Hindu identity by misusing the case. When the Gisele Pelicot case happened in France a couple of years ago, western feminists there were talking about seeking justice, questioning men but they did not spin the narrative to attack say, France’s laïcité or the fabric of French society.
Another thing that has started happening lately is that incels try to settle their own scores by misusing an innocent man’s genuinely horrible tragedy. I believe in this conspiracy that incel culture online is being fuelled on purpose by x, podcast culture and manosphere to erode trust between the genders and target marriage as an institution. I also understand how a part of the extremist feminism is a reaction to the manosphere, like a lot of impressionable young women too are getting inspired by the 4b movement in South Korea for instance.
I do agree that Hindus are very marriage-obsessed and that marriage is a significant a part of Hindu culture. I am a bit conservative in my thinking too because I also tend to think that the goal of living in a society is to have a family and raise kids (I am always open to learning more about this and changing my views). But we need to emphasise that the four Purushartha are Dharma, Artha, Kama, Moksha. Before arriving at Kama stage, one needs to first go through and develop Dharma and Artha.
I also think that marriage, although a social contract, is also a sacred spiritual bond between two souls and why such terrible cases affect the society is because marriages are right at the centre of where the spiritual and societal worlds collide, where a person fully integrates and becomes a part of the larger society.
Tldr: What do you think Indian feminists get wrong about their analyses of Hindu society and why crimes against women happen? How do you see the role of marriage in a modern Hindu society? Why are Hindus so marriage-obsessed and how should we ought to view marriages?
Hi, no need to apologise for your message, for you made some really good points!
it is, indeed, true that many Indian mainstream feminist authors blame any big crime on the Hindu way of thought for violent crimes. It doesn't help when, in the pop culture, catchphrases like "cow is safer in India than women are" or "this nation worships goddesses but also rapes/kills women" are uttered every single time a crime is reported on the media. You are also absolutely right when you pointed out that when the Gisele Pelicot case hit the headlines in France, western feminists there were talking about seeking justice, questioning men, but they did not spin the narrative to attack say, France’s laïcité or the fabric of French society. Which is the correct and rational thing to do. In a way when Indian feminists take their focus from demanding justice for the victim/survivor to writing paragraphs about Brahminical patriarchy, they're ultimately derailing from seeking justice to seeking attention for themselves. I feel like it's, in a way, narcissistic behaviour on their part.
You're also absolutely right about the fact that there is a lack of serious scholarly research behind why such marriage related crimes against women and lately against men happen, and that they are not treated as cases of individual pathology but they are turned into ideological battles about caste, patriarchy, Hindu foundations of family or existence of marriage as an institution. It is true that India is a Hindu influenced society, however if we look at this strictly from the religious point of view, there is no such thing as dowry, where a groom's family demands payment, in any Hindu scripture. There's only Stree Dhan, bride's wealth, which were jewellery and other gifts to the bride, which belonged exclusively to the bride, to be used for her security, and could not be claimed or controlled by the groom or his family. Killing is a grave sin in Hinduism, torturing and killing a bride is against every single Hindu law. As for the recent Chetan and Ketan case, some people are blaming this on the culture of preserving "izzat" (honour). I think it's crap load of bullshit. We obviously don't know the full story, we're only told whatever the TRP hungry media and the masala addicted public wants to see. if these things were investigated properly you could find that there is a clear case of pathology behind such homicides. I also suspect some kind of copycat murders; some individuals get impressed when they see huge media coverage on public murder cases so they want to replicate it. Also another thing that some people have pointed out that have caught my eyes is that the environmental effects on people are not studied enough. For example, heavy metals like lead, mercury, cadmium, and manganese can cause brain damage and disrupt the central nervous system, leading to neurological and behavioral issues like increased aggression. Nutritional deficiencies too can severely damage the brain's physical structure, degrade the myelin sheaths that insulate nerve fibers, and disrupt neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine. This neurodegeneration can trigger psychiatric symptoms such as paranoia, poor impulse control, and violent outbursts. For example, a severe vitamin B12 deficiency causes subacute combined degeneration of the spinal cord and demyelination of the central nervous system, which leads to permanent nerve damage, sensory loss, and peripheral neuropathy. Those who have had tapeworm for years have suffered from vitamin B12 deficiency and have showcased symptoms known as "megaloblastic madness". A deficiency in Omega-3 fatty acids reduces synaptic plasticity, alters the physical structure of neuronal membranes, and impairs frontal lobe development. Clinical research has linked low omega-3 levels to poor impulse control and hostility. Supplementing omega-3s alongside other micronutrients has consistently been shown to significantly reduce antisocial and violent behavior in incarcerated populations. The Indian population suffers from exceptionally high rates of these specific nutrient deficiencies, creating what public health experts call a crisis of "hidden hunger." Large-scale clinical studies show that 70% to 80% of Indians are deficient in at least one essential vitamin or mineral, with Vitamin B12, Vitamin D, Omega-3s, and Zinc topping the list. India's problem is poverty and malnutrition, lack of access to high-quality nutrition and healthcare, universal education, and these problems are exacerbated by the surrounding society. I wish Indian social scientists were as interested in fixing this problem as they are in blaming Hinduism.
