âAbsolutely the most real and truthful of everything that Hugo wrote.â - Fyodor Dostoevsky
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@dvkmdr
âAbsolutely the most real and truthful of everything that Hugo wrote.â - Fyodor Dostoevsky

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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rĂźcksichtslos schreiben, darum gehts. voran. egal wie es klingt und was da steht.
ich
meeting someone who has the same music taste as you
Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (via psych-facts)
DIE ZĂHE
einen roman schreiben ist sturr.
sturr dasitzen und nicht den verstand verlieren.
das nächste buch wird keine handlung haben und einfach hingeschrieben werden. ohne rßcksicht auf stil, rechtschreibung, grammatik und alles.
einfach so. kerouac style.
und die bedeutung sollen sich dann alle ausdenken.
mann, ist das anstrengend, wenn man in dieser zähe steckt.
die zähe. keine zehe. die zähigkeit.

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status
bis ende januar an dvk gearbeitet. dann LECO geschrieben und recordet. jetzt bin ich erstaunt dass ich diesen blog gefĂźllt habe.
gefĂźhlt habe ich ihn ein halbes jahr lang nicht mehr benutzt. nun nach internetpause bin ich wieder am start. und während dieser internetlosigkeit von gut 4 monatenÂ
bin ich sehr weit gekommen. einerseits mit LECO andererseits seit 1-2 monaten mit dvk.
die ersten 75 seiten vervollständigt also teil 1-2 und endlich viel in mdr abgeschoben mir gedacht ich schreibs jetzt so wie ich es habe keine weiteren stoffpläne oder umstrukturierungen
damit habe ich lange zeit zugbracht jetzt gehts ans fertigstellen das tut gut sehr gut
the daily internal battle of a depressed person
me: there's something I reeeeally need to do.
depression: no
me: but it's really important!
depression: I don't care.
me: I can't keep avoiding things like this. I've got to do something!!
depression: No you haven't. Nothing you do is ever good anyway so you might as well stick to doing nothing at all.
me: ok
â Mary Is Happy, Mary Is Happy (2013) Mary: I wanna go left. Is that really my choice? Or am I being controlled by some force? And if I go right? Am I overcoming the force? Or is the force controlling me all the same?

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Was hält mich ab? -Angst
krass
http://erkennepsychopathie.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/wie-erkennt-man-dass-man-sich-in-einer-beziehung-mit-einem-psychopathen-befindet/
nochmal in grĂśĂerer deutlichkeit
das schreiben
in das leben einen keil treiben. immer wieder. es nicht in ruhe lassen. das ist schreiben. gegen das zusammenwachsen kämpfen. gegen die sich verselbstständigende bedeutung antreten. nicht ruhen.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser manipulates situations repeatedly to trick the victim into distrusting his or her own memory and perceptions. Gaslighting is an insidious form of abuse. It makes victims question the very instincts that they have counted on their whole...
lets concentrate on the questions.
Are You a Victim of Gaslighting Emotional Abuse?
According to author and psychoanalyst Robin Stern, Ph.D., the signs of being a victim of gaslighting emotional abuse include:
You are constantly second-guessing yourself.
You ask yourself, âAm I too sensitive?â a dozen times a day.
You often feel confused and even crazy at work.
Youâre always apologizing to your mother, father, boyfriend, boss.
You canât understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you arenât happier.
You frequently make excuses for your partnerâs behavior to friends and family.
You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you donât have to explain or make excuses.
You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.
You start lying to avoid the put downs and reality twists.
You have trouble making simple decisions.
You have the sense that you used to be a very different person - more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
You feel hopeless and joyless.
You feel as though you canât do anything right.
You wonder if you are a âgood enoughâ girlfriend/wife/employee/ friend; daughter.
You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you donât have to explain or make excuses.
1. yes
2. he is proud of that one
3. he is . definitelyÂ
4. dont know... maybe yes
5. ?
6. no, he quit
7. he doesnt tell about his real plans and wishes. but because he is afraid, the will put him down
8. yes. he doesnt know how it came this far
9. his life is a lie
10. he can not make any deciscion and wonders what is up with him
11. he was over confident. but lost it. but i think not due to gaslighting...Â
12. yes. hopeless and depressed
13. everything done is wrong. he isnt doing anything anymore because of that
14. he is bad. yes.
15. yes. he can not tell that his studying feels terribly wrong. thats because his mom said: jetzt wäre es ja etwas spät, zu merken, dass es nicht das richtige ist...
William Shekespeare's - Romeo + Juliet - From the visinary direction of Moulin Rouge...
she liked the movie and the song.

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DvK ist sowas wie die Original-Version und MdR ist die Dub-Version.
acknowledge this. now. 01.2015
kaum lese ich eine alte aufzeichnung Ăźber paranoia fliegen sie wieder Ăźber mein haus hinweg die helikopter
-me