vir adahlen

PRINCESS MONONOKE 1997, dir. Hayao Miyazaki

“Luna?” “Hi, dad.”

In the kitchen, Helena janenic// Celine Sciamma// Slow Dance, Kerry James Marshall// Pretty lips, winehouse// In Bed, The Kiss, Henri De Toulouse-Lautrec// iloveyou, between friends// dance in the country, Renoir// having a coke with you, Frank O'Hara// Lovers in the Snow, Suzuki Harunobu// I will, mistki//

The Green Knight (2021)

‘ pick it all up and start again. ’ ‘ you’ve got a second chance. you could go home, escape it all. ’ ‘ you could still be what you want to. ’ ‘ you’ve got a warm heart, you’ve got a beautiful brain. ’ ‘ we’re setting fire to our insides for fun. ’ ‘ we are the reckless, we are the wild youth. ’ ‘ i’ve lost it all. i’m just a silhouette, a lifeless face that you’ll soon forget. ’ ‘ my eyes are damp from the words you left ringing in my head when you broke my chest. ’ ‘ you caused it. ’ ‘ i want all that is not mine. ’ ‘ i want him, but we’re not right. ’ ‘ in the darkness, i will meet my creators, and they will all agree that i’m a suffocator. ’ ‘ what a mess i leave to follow. ’ ‘ sometimes i wish i’d stayed inside my mother, never to come out. ’ ‘ take me away into the night. ’ ‘ i’ll do whatever you say to me in the dark. ’ ‘ you’re too old to be so shy. ’ ‘ i have brittle bones, it seems; i bite my tongue and torch my dreams. ’ ‘ we both know i’ll never be your lover. i only bring the heat: company under covers, filling space in your sheets. ’ ‘ this is torturous. ’ ‘ i want you so much. ’ ‘ i want you so much, but i hate your guts. ’ ‘ wipe away your tear stains. i thought you said you didn’t feel pain? ’ ‘ i don’t know what we’re doing. ’ ‘ i don’t know what we’ve done. ’ ‘ i think we should run. ’ ‘ i won’t tell my mother, it’s better she doesn’t know. ’ ‘ we’ll just keep each other as safe as we can. ’ ‘ will you stay with me for another day? ’ ‘ will you stay with me until we’re old and gray? i don’t want to be alone when these bones decay. ’ ‘ we are what we are. ’ ‘ we don’t need excuses for the scars from our mothers. ’ ‘ i pray aloud for you. ’

‘ do not choose sides yet. it is still to your advantage to remain impartial. ’ ‘ unfortunately for me, it doesn’t always come down to fisticuffs. ’ ‘ if only i could cut him open and peel him back and crawl inside this second skin, then I could relive that last mile again: reborn, wild-eyed, free. ’ ‘ it could have been so beautiful—you scout out the road ahead and i will watch your back, how it was and how it will be, memory and fantasy. ’ ‘ i’m tired of looking at the back of your head. ’ ‘ they are the same and they are not the same. they are the same and they hate each other for it. ’ ‘ o, how he loves you, darling boy. ’ ‘ he invents the monsters underneath the bed to get you to sleep next to him. ’ ‘ look—it looks like a star. ’ ‘ you can tell that they have forgotten about god, and they are very hungry. ’ ‘ open the door. ’ ‘ can the heart escape? does love even care? ’ ‘ we believe in you. ’ ‘ there is no danger. ’ ‘ who do you love? ’ ‘ take the light inside you like a blessing, like a knee in the chest, holding onto it and not letting git go. now let it go. ’ ‘ i will come back from the dead for you. ’ ‘ we used to dream about them. we used to do a lot of things. ’ ‘ he was not dead yet, not exactly. ’ ‘ i’ll call you darling, hold you tight. ’ ‘ all night i stretched my arms across you, rivers of blood, the dark woods, singing with all my skin and bone: please keep him safe. ’ ‘ yes, i do believe your mouth is heaven, your kisses falling over me like stars. ’ ‘ we laugh, and it pits the world against us. we laugh, and we’ve got nothing left to lose. ’ ‘ here is my hand, my heart, my throat, my wrist. here are the illuminated cities at the center of me. ’ ‘ I had four dreams in a row where you were burned, about to burn, or still on fire. ’ ‘ i woke up in the morning and I didn’t want anything, didn’t do anything, couldn’t do it anyway, just lay there listening to the blood rush through me and it never made any sense, anything. ’ ‘ tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake and dress them in warm clothes again. ’ ‘ the days were bright red, and every time we kissed there was another apple to slice into pieces. ’ ‘ tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us. ’ ‘ tonight, by the freeway, a man eating fruit pie with a buckknife carved the likeness of his lover’s face into the motel wall. I like him and I want to be like him, my hands no longer an afterthought. ’ ‘ there are many names in history, but none of them are ours. ’ ‘ he had green eyes, so i wanted to sleep with him—green eyes flecked with yellow, dried leaves on the surface of a pool—you could drown in those eyes, i said. ’ ‘ i wanted to be wanted. ’ ‘ but damn if there isn’t anything sexier than a slender boy with a handgun, a fast car, and a bottle of pills. ’ ‘ try explaining a life bundled with episodes of this—swallowing mud, swallowing glass, the smell of blood on the first four knuckles. ’ ‘ sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine. ’