i was born in the right generation

Please stop asking me how I’m doing, I have no idea, I’m actually trying to ignore it

like i don't say this as some kind of fucked up humblebrag it's something i'm deeply ashamed of but i hurt a lot of people before i realised that i wasn't only indifferent to romance but that there was no obligation for me to perform it at all. so when i say "i won't make you happy" or "i can't give you what you want" it's not some insecure self-deprecation thing, it's your final warning. i'm not wife material i'll chew off both our legs to escape.

I guess I support monogamous romance as long as it's consensual and no one's getting hurt..

to grasp the overall picture of how any attachment is formed — and here many might object, "what about pure feelings, what about the authenticity of desires?" — one must consider the timeframe of our lives. if you read the works of shakespeare, for instance, his "love" is not the same as ours today. we must understand how power enforces its laws (hello, neoliberalism), what constitutes "norms," what punishments the system applies, how economic relations affect everyone (hello, capitalism), and what the concept of "happiness" entails. and that’s without even starting on patriarchy, punitive "treatment" techniques, migration, pharmaceutical companies, and so on. we cannot realize our attachments without being at the intersection of all this. we learn "love" as a skill, a kind of soft communication skill. "pure monogamous love" seems like a scam and propaganda against forming genuine connections between people to me...

i feel like i do 25% of what an average person does in a day and still it's too much

becoming and becoming and becoming