That Demon Girl

I noticed in shows I really like (Naruto, Tokyo Ghoul, Cyber Punk, etc) characters seem to expand their capabilities while experiencing intense traumatic moments. As an example, how many times has Naruto tiered up in power during an intense fight. And I can’t help but connect themes in our current media to the real world. 

Tokyo Ghoul is a more literal depiction of this that really got me thinking about this stuff. In the show, I noticed that characters didn’t develop their Kagune until they had to experience something terrible in their lives. The main character, Kaneki, goes through actual torture and after is suddenly ridiculously powerful. 

I think we as a species are REALLY good at adapting to situations. Really good to a fault. When put through intense situations, we are capable of manifesting whatever energy or skill is required to complete a task. We may not do it with grace, but still we do it. The problem is that I think our species is actually traumatized as a whole. 

Literally thousands of years of conflict that has culminated in a will-they-won’t-they with a big mushroom bomb. Our world is the one where we continue to respond to trauma by evolving and growing our capabilities to kill each other. All for the sake of “progress” we have continued to push the limits of our capabilities instead of ever taking a moment to sit and enjoy what we have already done.

Its not enough that we invented a way to feed, clothe, and light the world, we continue to ask for donations to continue this continuous innovation. We continue to augment ourselves with Chrome until we reach the level of Cyber-Psycho. 

I don’t blame the people who don’t understand technology, the world evolved way to fast. We always need to be prepared in case “THEY” decide to make a move first. We can’t fall behind, which means you better get used to Online Banking and then chips installed behind your eyes. 

Am I just repeating the same shit? Sitting here 2 minutes before my shift, except I'm salary so we call it no overtime.

Spread to thin, regretting not doing what I have to do as if I even want to. I haven't even done it yet, just fretting about my current state. Water, liquid, gas? I think there are more these days but I'm too burt out to check. Vodka, vape, fast. (I'll get there)

Everyday has been one too long in a life long deceased. Still here, too scared to jump, terrified to play on the edge. You think I could numb myself hard enough, I wouldn't notice? Probably not.

◽️always running from something/someone

◽️there is a blonde haired woman

◽️settings are revised (a hotel, old wooden house, all my schools combined, dad's house)

It's systematic and deep rooted. I worked at a Marco's Pizza for a bit as a shift leader and for a while I'd let the staff take home any food that wasn't picked up. And then the owners said "nope gotta pay, toss it". To which we then just took the food out to the dump and still put it on our cars. Like. The fuck is wrong with our society that during covid all we got was a free 1 topping medium pizza.

I'm fortunate in that I've avoided debt all my life. I've skipped out on going to a good college, major purchases and trips, and so much more.