dumpy the delulu

The investor meetings, press conferences, artist assessments, and your man being Suga from BTS himself, still had some idol duties on the sides. 

But you were used to it. You were used to him being booked and busy. You had loved him for the longest time to understand that as much as you hated being far apart from him, you equally loved seeing him in his element, making music, putting smiles on millions of people’s faces. Because Yoongi’s happiness was yours too after all. 

So it was a shocking, humiliating even, for him to just come and said the vile statement he just said to you. He just got back from two weeks of his abroad job, and he chose to bring this news to you as a present. 

“I just think with how things are, I don’t have time for you. This is clearly hurting both of us so it’s better this way.” He said, expression blank and it was hard to read. 

“Yoongi, I’ve dated you for three years before getting engaged to you. I know your schedules and I’m used to it.”

“It’ll be different when we are married.” 

“It won’t.” You argued. 

“It will.” He sighed. “It will only get worse when we get married.”

“You do realize you get breaks and day offs, right? I can wait.” 

“I own a company now.”

You looked at him to see his expression. It was still blank as he stood in front of you. Sometimes you hated how stoic he could be, especially when he wanted to. It was breaking you, but you chose to remain collected. 

“If that’s your priority, then I get it.” 

You stood up from your seat with a big sigh. You saw his pupil moved in a frantic way for a second, before going back to normal. 

“I’ll move, you can have the—“

“One week.” You said, looking at him straight in the eye. 

He looked at you, stopping his sentence. 

“Treat me like yours again for a week before you let me go.” You folded your arms. “After that you can leave and we’ll be on our separate ways.”

Yoongi’s mouth opened, before it quickly closed to a stretched straight line. He looked like he was about to say something but he chose not to. He nodded his head at you, sighing. 

“Okay.” Was all he said to you. 

You took one last look at him before walking away, heading to the bedroom. You wondered if you could catch any sleep that night. 

When moonlight came Yoongi chose to sleep next to you, after all, that was what you had asked him to do. To treat you like his again, even just for the week. You had some hours alone with your mind, you had some thoughts of how you would act when he slip into the covers with you, but when it happened you really didn’t know what to say. For some time he only laid there, unmoved, and you started to wonder if he just fell asleep like that. 

You knew you had told him to do so, but it still didn’t hide the pain you were feeling when he slowly moved closer and hugged you from behind. He knew you were not asleep, of course he did. He always did. He didn’t say anything, just resting his forehead on your head, one hand over your waist to hold you close. You could feel his heartbeat and without knowing, the tears just started flowing on its own. You bit your lips, in hope that he wouldn’t notice, but then his thumb started to draw circles on your forearm. Maybe he noticed, maybe he did not. He chose to not comment about it though, which you were glad. That was why you chose not to say anything either when you felt your shoulder damp, some water droplets fell on your hair and onto your skin. 

DAY 1

The next morning you were awaken by noises coming from the kitchen. You thought he would be up in his studio at this hour, him being a light sleeper and all, but it seemed like he was cooking something at eight in the morning, judging by the delicious smell. You quickly brushed your teeth and head out to check on him. 

“Are you cooking?” You asked, slowly approaching him in the kitchen. 

“Yeah.” He said as he stir the rice on the wok.

You looked at him, giving him a funny look. 

“What?” He raised one of his eyebrows before turning up the stove’s heat, adding some minced meat on what seemed to be fried rice. 

“Nothing, it’s just that you don’t usually cook so early in the morning.” You said, retreating back and took a seat on the dining chair. You sighed, figuring it was just his acts for the week. 

“I haven’t cooked for you in a while.” He said, still string the food. “I also thought you would be up a little later.“

“I smelt the food, plus it was odd to find you in the kitchen at this hour instead of in your studio.” 

“You could, you know… sleep some more. If you want to.” He said with his back facing you as he cooked. 

“I’d rather watch you cook.” You smiled, even though he couldn’t see. 

Soon he came to the dining table with two plates in his hands, one that he placed in front of you, and one for himself. The smell of the food filled the room and you started to salivate. It was just a simple dish but knowing who cooked for you made it different. Yoongi went back to grab two glasses of water for both of you, before finally sitting down across of you. 

You were a tad bit anxious seeing the piercing look on his eyes, waiting for you to take a bite. And when you did, he immediately wanted a feedback. 

“So?”

“I like it. Has the right amount of spiciness.” You said with food still in your mouth. “You should cook this more often.” 

Your expression dropped when you realized that your request was soon about to be impossible, given the situation. Quickly, you looked down, choosing to focus on eating instead. 

“Glad you like it.”

You ate in silence after that, the kind of quiet that wasn’t as sharp as before. There was still pain between you, but it had been placed in the corner for now, like a box no one wanted to open just yet.

When he stood to rinse his plate, you said without looking up, “Do you remember the first time we made breakfast together?”

He paused at the sink. “You tried to make pancakes but used salt instead of sugar.”

“And you still ate them like an idiot.”

“I was trying to impress you.”

“By eating salted cement?” You asked with an amused smile. 

He grinned too. For a moment, the version of Yoongi you missed most stood there in front of you. Not the artist with the world on his shoulders. Just a man who once came to your apartment with multiple packets of different sizes of pads because he got too shy to ask which would be the appropriate one.

You watched him dry his hands, eyes focused on the towel. Something in his jaw tightened.

“Right.” You bit your inner cheek, trying to compose yourself. “How’s Namjoon by the way? I miss his little kid.” You started another topic, to drift away. 

“His son is doing fine and so is he.” He said and started eating as well. “I think his wife is expecting another…” 

“Really?! Wow, look at him… And to think he told us he didn’t want any children before…” You chuckled. “That guy is whipped. I’m happy for him.”

Yoongi looked at you and smiled. “Yeah.”

You and Yoongi had never mentioned anything about wanting kids in your life. The topic just somehow never came up. You used to want children in your family, but lately with how things with your work and Yoongi’s schedules, you figured it would be too much. Plus, you always had fear of change, and the idea of pregnancy scared you just a bit. But you had never heard anything from Yoongi if he wanted any or not. It would be too late to ask anyway. 

“Have you ever thought of having kids?”

You almost choked on clear water. “I’m sorry?”

“We never really talked about it before…” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“Do you?” You shot the question back at him.

“I never really thought about it but, I’ve always thought that I want whatever you want.”

Clearly not. You thought to yourself. “I… I used to want it. But seeing how busy both of us can be sometimes, I don’t think it’s possible. There’s enough people in this world anyway, we don’t need any mini me around.” You giggled. 

“A mini you sounds adorable.” His smile quickly faded when he seemed to realize his words. 

“I don’t think so. Kinda not possible with how we are now after all…” You gave a sad smile. 

“I—”

“No, let’s not talk about it.” You heaved a sigh and gave him another smile, even though you started to feel your eyes getting teary. 

The rest of the day was spent with the two of you just watching your old favorite movies together. You didn’t cuddle, but both of you rested your heads on each other and it was enough comfort for you. 

DAY 2

This time when you woke up, Yoongi was still asleep. Movie marathoning was fun until it was four in the morning and both of you overslept on the couch. You found Yoongi sleeping, head resting on your lap, and the urge to run your finger through his hair was high, but you didn’t want to risk waking him up in the process. He looked so calm, and you missed just seeing him like this. He always looked like a cat, especially when he was asleep. He would even sometimes let out noises that sounded like a purr. 

You let yourself sleep more, maybe another ten minutes. 

The sound of the phone ringing could be heard from the table, Yoongi’s ringing and vibrating on it. He took the call and sounded like he was never asleep. Sometimes you wonder how he could behave so inhumane like that. 

He looked up when he noticed you staring. “What is it?”

You hesitated. “Let’s go out after your call.”

“Out? Don’t you have meeting today?”

“I’ve taken the week off.” You simply said.

Yoongi hesitated for a moment, before speaking. “Where to?”

“The bookstore cafe. The one near the station. Remember? That place… we haven’t been there in a while.” You fidgeted with your fingers. “We used to go all the time.”

He didn’t answer right away, and you wondered if he’d say no. Maybe the week you asked for was already too heavy for him. But he just nodded. 

“Yeah. Okay. After the call.”

The cafe was exactly the same. It smelled like spiced tea and old pages, the lighting was still dim in that warm, cozy way, and the bookstore shelves remained haphazard and charmingly messy. There was a new girl behind the counter, but the man who used to run the place, Mr. Han, was still stood in his usual spot by the register, glasses perched halfway down his nose.

“Well, well! Look who crawled back from the dead…” Mr. Han said with a teasing smile.

You laughed. “Don’t say that, you’ll scare the tourists.”

Yoongi offered a polite smile, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets. “Sorry we disappeared.”

“You two were the royalty of table six.” Mr. Han said, nodding toward the back. “You left a hole when you stopped coming.”

That made Yoongi pause. You tugged him by the sleeve toward your old booth before he could slip into guilt.

The booth was still tucked into the corner, the cushions worn and soft from years of use. It had seen a lot. Your first real conversation after weeks of quiet flirting, being in all masks and hoodies, your first fight over miscommunication and missed texts, Yoongi’s confession on an evening when he looked terrified and brave all at once, to when you could finally date in normal attire after deciding to publicize your relationship. 

You slid into the seat and glanced across at him. “Do you remember that night you asked me if I’d be your emergency contact?”

He snorted. “I remember the shock in your face.”

“You asked me if I want to be the first one to get called if you die… with the straightest face.” You argued. 

“You still said yes.”

You shrugged, smiling as you looked to the ceiling. “I was so in love with you.”

He flinched. It wasn’t visible, not really. But you knew Yoongi too well. You knew how his eyes darted slightly when something hit too close, how his fingers tightened a fraction against the cup of coffee he had in his grasp. You didn’t push. 

You looked out the window and said, “We had some good memories here.”

“Yeah.” Was all he replied back. 

You spent two hours there, talking mostly about books you never had time to read and music he’d been working on. You showed him a ridiculous meme on your phone, and he actually laughed. He laughed like he used to. The wall between you cracked just slightly.

When it was time to go, you thanked Mr. Han and waved goodbye. Outside, the wind bit at your cheeks, and you tucked your hands into your coat pockets. Yoongi hesitated beside you.

“You looked really happy in there.” He said, his voice soft.

“Because I was.”

He glanced over. “It’s been a while since I saw you like that.”

You met his eyes. “That’s what happens when you disappear into work.”

He didn’t defend himself and just nodded quietly. But he didn’t walk away either. He walked with you to the car, his shoulder brushing yours the entire way.

At night before you head to bed, he pulled you gently and placed the lightest kiss on your temple. It could be just you but you saw a glimmer of hope in him. Or it could be the agreement playing the part. 

DAY 3

You were awoken by Yoongi’s eyes staring at you. He greeted you with a warm smile, uttering a good morning to you. You smiled back, scooting closer in his embrace, salivating the moment. 

This was how a normal morning goes for you, at least when he was home. Sure you would always miss him when he went away for his concerts, tour, or any other job that required him to be not home, but every time he came back, the feelings would always just reset. It was so easy, so effortless, to forget when you see his face and feeling him close to you again. He made it easy. 

“Any plans today?” He asked, resting his chin on top of your head, embracing you still. 

“This,” You smiled with your eyes closed. “This is the plan.” 

“As much as I’d love that, we gotta eat something.” He chuckled. 

“Nope.” You giggled. 

You ended up snuggling and sleeping in for the next two hours and a half, until you heard your own stomach rumbled. 

The day was supposed to be a slow day with little to no work to do. Yoongi had some songs that needed quick revision, but nothing he couldn’t do at the comfort of his home studio. 

You decided to bring him some coffee to his studio. There he was leaning back on his chair with his headphones on, bopping his head a few times to the beat that was unheard. 

“Yoongi?” You called upon entering the room. He didn’t seem to notice you until you placed the cup of coffee on his table. 

“Oh, thanks.” He said after removing his left earpiece and took a sip of the beverage. “Just a few tuning and I’ll be done.” 

“Take your time.” You said, taking a chair next to him. “I hope I’m not interrupting?”

“Never.” He said without meeting your gaze as his eyes went back to the monitor screen. 

You gulped, suddenly feeling a bit tensed and leaned against the seat.

“Do you wanna listen?” 

“Oh?” You were taken aback. “It’s done already?”

“It’s just the instrumental. Jungkook will sing the song.” He said after clicking some buttons. 

“What’s the title?” You rested your hand on top of the table. 

“Haven’t really decided on it but…” He stopped and removed his earphones entirely. “Here, let me show you the lyrics.” He handed you his notebook. 

You skimmed through the lyrics and wondered to yourself. Since when did Yoongi learn to write corny and cheesy love song? And the more you read through it, the description, the tiny mentioned details, it sounded like he was so smitten that he had to pour his entire feelings out on this song. Mind you this was the same guy who wrote and performed Daechwita. 

“You’re telling me you wrote this?!” You said while still re-reading the lyrics. 

“What’s with the judgmental look?” He looked at you in disbelief. 

“It’s just— Yah, have you ever even fell in love like this?! This doesn’t sound like you.” You frowned.

“I wrote this years ago.” He smiled, taking another sip of the coffee you made him. “This was way before we were even a thing.” 

Your expression turned sour. “So it’s about an ex?”

“Silly, it’s about you.” 

Your eyes widened in surprise. “It’s about me?!”

He puffed a breath and smiled, showing his gummy grin. “It clearly said, you looked through me beyond the glamour.” He pointed at the notebook that was still in your hands. “You were quite literally our makeup artist’s assistant for two years.”

It was true. You used to work under Big Hit for a while until you decided to resign. You and your friends took a huge risk and decided to start your own private brand, and so you needed to step back from the company. 

The job was how you met Yoongi and the rest of the boys. Somehow you would often get assigned to do his makeup. Yoongi was rather quiet the first few gigs, but judging by the cold exterior you thought he’d be rude, but he ended up being the sweetest man you had ever known. Second to Jimin of course because that man’s an angel. 

It was that one time you accidentally dropped a bottle of foundation on the floor. You just started the job, barely four weeks into it, and you already did something so fatal. You arrived early and there wasn’t anyone in the room, but the sound of the breaking glass was loud enough. The door soon opened and you were expecting it to be the head makeup artist, but much to your surprise, it was Yoongi who peeked through the door, asking about your well being. 

You were lost for words as your vision only went back and forth from your hands to the shattered glasses and the complexion colored mess on the floor. Seeing your shocked state, Yoongi calmly called the cleaners and told you to take a seat. There were multiple apologies and thank yous came out from your mouth before he just took out his phone from his pocket. He tapped on the screen and browsed through his apps before handing the phone to you, shocking you even more. 

“Here, just order the same one, the instant delivery is quite fast.” 

You were begging to pay him back, but Yoongi was a man of his words, so he kept resisting. One day you just showed up at the set and got him iced americano to show your gratitude, even though you knew the price tag wasn’t equal. And the rest was history. 

“Didn’t know you were into me like that.” Even though you were rolling your eyes, your cheeks couldn’t hide the pinkish glow. 

“I thought I told you that I basically had a huge crush on you when we first met.” He snickered. 

“You did, I just didn’t expect the romantic song…” You tried to avoid his gaze. 

“Come on, you genuinely think I would just buy you a bottle of overpriced makeup if I don’t have any ulterior motive?! Money was tight at that time, you know!” He laughed. 

You couldn’t help but to laugh as well. “To think that I fell for the sweet guy who helped me. Turns out he had malicious intent.”

“In my defense I would still help you nonetheless. I’d probably cover for you and makeup some bullshit. But the whole buying a new bottle was a smart way to get our connection going.” He proudly smirked. 

“We were so dumb back then, huh?” 

“I guess so.” He shook his head and smiled. 

“But I don’t regret a thing.” 

You said without thinking. You watched as the sparkle on Yoongi’s eyes went off and he quickly turned back to his computer screen. 

You spent that night looking at his back facing you, wondering if he ever regretted meeting you. 

DAY 4

You woke up with your bed empty. It wasn’t something that was new to you, in fact, you knew exactly where he was. 

This time when you found him in his studio, a low tune was playing. He turned his chair to your direction instantly upon hearing the door creaking open. 

You peeked with a tea in hand. “Were you up all night?”

“Only been here since five.” 

You carefully took a seat next to him, studying his facial features. He seemed distressed, you could clearly see the creases forming on his forehead. 

“What’s bothering you?” You asked. 

“You said we’d treat each other like before, right?”

Your eyes widened, but you remained calm. “Yeah?”

“Then let’s play music and just sit with me.”

At first you didn’t think too much about the song choices he made. Sure you had listened to them but so what, you were aware that both of you had similar taste in music. But by the time the third song played, your heart clenched. It was your playlist. The one he’d made for your third anniversary. 

When “free love” by HONNE started playing, you knew it was over for you. You could recall exactly when the song started playing, and Yoongi had a bouquet of peonies in his hands, walking sheepishly to you in your old apartment. He had never gotten you any flowers before. You just couldn’t see the appeal in buying impractical things when there were many more ways to show love. Everyone who had ever dated you were made aware of that. But one day you randomly mentioned that you sometimes wondered how would it feel to receive flowers romantically. Hence, why he did it. 

You remembered how it was awkward at first, both of you bursted into laughter for a good minute, before you took the flowers from his hands, and took his lips in yours. 

You turned to look at him, surprised. “Is this our…”

His eyes stayed on the screen. “Yeah.”

“I didn’t know you still had it.”

“I never deleted it.” He leaned back on his seat. “It’s a nice playlist to come back to when I’m stressed.”

You didn’t know what to say to that so you didn’t say anything. Instead, you stood up and moved to the center of the studio room. Yoongi watched you with confusion in his eyes. 

Then you held your hand out. “Dance with me.”

“Are you serious?!” 

“Very.”

He raised an eyebrow. A small smirk appeared on his lips. “You know you suck at dancing.”

“You see women who dance well all the time, I’m seasoned differently.” You giggled. 

That made him laugh. A real one. The kind that showed his gums a little, made his eyes crease at the corners. You hadn’t seen that laugh in months. 

He did take your hand.

You danced barefoot in the studio, swaying slowly across the carpet as if time hadn’t moved at all. Your fingers curled in his shirt. His hand rested on your lower back, warm and familiar. It wasn’t romantic, not fully. But it was close. Too close.

I can't get you all that stuff

But I can give you all my love

Free love

Are the simple things enough?

I got to give you all my love

Free love

When the song ended, neither of you let go right away. And when you looked up at him, he was already looking down at you.

“Do you ever miss us?” You asked without giving further thought.

His breath caught. For a moment, he looked like he wanted to say something. Like the words were right there, sitting behind his teeth, waiting to be let go.

“Let’s not talk about missing things today.” 

You nodded slowly, expression turning cold. “Okay.”

You stepped back, but your fingers lingered on his. He let them go last.

Soon he went back to his chair, eyes glued back to the multiple screens in front of him. You sat there in silence, not wanting to bother him but reluctant to leave. Your tea halfway empty, now cold, sitting on the desk. 

There was an opened notebook on the far left corner of his table. With some torn pages stuck in the middle, some looked crumpled and had torn edges. Some crossed-out lines, lyrics with arrows leading to new ones, some even scratched out entirely.

Your eyes fell on a section dated not many weeks ago. 

Daydreams don’t have deadlines. But love does, doesn’t it? How long can she wait before she stops?

Your whole body froze after you read the words. 

“I wasn’t going to use those lyrics.” He suddenly said, noticing where your attention was. 

“Is this about… us?” You asked with a cracked voice. 

Yoongi heaved a big sigh. “I didn’t know how to let you see me break.” 

“You thought I can’t handle it?” You asked, feeling offended. 

“I couldn’t handle you seeing it.” 

“That’s selfish.”

“I know.” 

A beat passed.

“Did you write that song for me? Or for you?”

“Both.” He simply said. 

Out of the blue, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You got a text from Namjoon’s wife, Jieun, asking if you were free for the day.

Retreating from your seat, you told Yoongi about it and left him be in his studio. After giving her a call you found out that she wanted you to join her picking some baby clothes with her. Said because this time she was having a girl, maybe she needed help from you, with your background in stylist and all. Most importantly, she just wanted to catch up with you. 

“Do you think we got too much pink items for her?” Jieun said as she picked another pink baby dress. 

“There’s no such thing as too much pink.” You said, humoring the lady.

“It’s a bit stereotype-y though…” The mother frowned. 

“We could get some purple stuff too, her daddy is a Bangtan member after all…” You giggled. 

“With that logic, if you and Yoongi ever decide to have one, you should buy purple clothes for them as well.” She laughed. 

Your expression dropped gradually as you heard her words. You laughed away in hope she wouldn’t notice, but it seemed that it was already too late. 

“I’m sorry, was that a sensitive topic?” She asked with a worried look. 

“No, don’t worry.” You smiled, assuring her. 

“Your expression dropped when I mentioned that.” She walked closer to you. “Is everything alright? You could always tell me.”

You shook your head, sighing. “Things aren’t doing well between me and Yoongi…” You said as you took a seat on a random bench at the mall. 

Jieun gasped, immediately taking the seat next to you. “What happened?” 

“He wants to call off our engagement. It was just so… sudden??? He literally just came back from being away for weeks, and he came back just to tell me that?” The tone of your voice hitched. “Even told me that he’s gonna move out from our house… I… I don’t understand…” You looked down, tears started to form in your eyes. 

Jieun rubbed your shoulder, feeling herself getting teary as well. She hugged you. “Have you guys talk through it?”

“We have, and his only reason was because he thinks he’s too busy and it’s just gonna hurt both of us in the long run.” You sighed. “I told him that I’m already used to him being busy. I think I’ve told you before that even though I miss him, it’s always worth it the second I get to see his face again.” You bit your lips, trying to muffle a cry. “All he said was that he got a company now, which I can’t argue. So, I ended up agreeing…”

“Goodness… So that’s it? He’s just gonna leave???”

“I told him I want him to treat me normally and toss our problems aside for a week before leaving me.” You shrugged, mustering a grin even though you had tears rolling down your cheeks. “It’s what I came up impulsively…”

“I can’t believe Yoongi just decided it like that. I thought he was a rational person… You guys have been together for years, for heavens sake!” She said with anger. “When is he leaving?”

“I don’t know exactly, we haven’t really talked about it but our agreement’s supposed to end in three days…” 

“You should definitely try to talk to him about this again. It doesn’t sound like him to just decide things recklessly like that.” 

“I don’t know… he seems pretty content with his choice and I don’t think I can change his mind.” 

“You have to at least try, but if he still won’t budge, screw him. He doesn’t deserve you then.” She then gave you a hug again, caressing your back.

You let a few more tears flee as you hugged her back. 

On your way home you got a call from Yoongi, telling you there was an urgent meeting he had to attend. 

You spent the night alone again. 

DAY 5

By the time you woke up Yoongi was already up eating a toast with a coffee on his hand. You didn’t know when he got back or if he even slept in the night before, but you weren’t opposed to see him nonetheless. 

He fixed you a tea, added the right amount of honey, and asked if you wanted the same toast like he had. 

He seemed… calm. 

“What do you have on your schedule today?” You asked.

He glanced at his phone, then shrugged. “Nothing urgent. I’ve moved some things.”

That surprised you. He never moved things. Not for anyone. Not unless it was extremely crucial. 

You stared. “Why?”

“You asked me for the week.” Yoongi looked up, brow furrowed. “What do you want to do today?”

You swallowed a big lump. “I want to spend today with you.” 

You ended up in the park. It was the one near your old apartment before you moved into the bigger penthouse. Before tour dates. Before investors and board meetings and five day vanishing acts. Just the park with the willow tree you liked to sit under. The one where you had your first big fight but shared a kiss right after.

You brought boba tea. He brought a notebook. You sat beneath the willow and slurped the drink in silence, watching as Yoongi occasionally scribbled something down in that same black notebook from the studio.

“I thought you said you’ve moved things, but you’re writing lyrics?” You asked as you leaned closer to sneak a peek. 

“It’s nothing, I’m just scared that I’ll forget this…” He said, turning another page. “And I don’t want to.”

The wind rustled the tree above you, and you watched the way sunlight flickered between the leaves, golden and soft. Your heartbeat raced. 

“Well, I wouldn’t.” You said with a smile. The wind blew to your hair and you closed your eyes, feeling the breeze. 

“How do you know?”

“I don’t forget things that mattered.” 

And once again, Yoongi quietly nodded without a word. But he did put down the pen and stopped writing. 

You followed your heart and rested your head against his side, hugging his arm as you did. He still turned tense every single time you did something touchy in public. You knew it came with the job. He probably had it embedded in his mind that he had to do the least physical contact with the opposite gender, knowing eyes and cameras were everywhere. Even after you went public, it took him months to get comfortable going out without the coverups. 

You figured the habit would had stopped by now, but apparently not. 

“I’m sorry.” He suddenly voiced out. 

“If you’re sorry then don’t give up on us.” 

“I don’t want to continue hurting you.” 

“Yet you’re doing it right now.” 

He didn’t answer.

But you didn’t move away when his fingers slipped in between yours.

That night, you lay in bed beside him. You didn’t talk. You just curled toward each other, the space between you finally gone. And when Yoongi reached for you in the dark, tentative, slow, afraid. You let him. You let him hold you the way he used to.

Because tonight, for the first time in a long time, you felt like he truly meant it. 

DAY 6

You woke up to the sound of rain.

It wasn’t the light, soothing kind. It was heavy pounding against the windows, tapping hard against the glass like the sky had something urgent to say. You rolled over instinctively and found Yoongi still asleep beside you, his arm wrapped loosely around your waist. He was still holding you. He looked peaceful. 

For a long time, you didn’t move. You just watched him breathe, watched the way his lashes flickered slightly like he was dreaming. His features, usually so sharp with exhaustion, looked softer in the morning light. Younger. Like the version of him from the early days, before the CEO titles, before the international press, before he started measuring time in missed calls and delays.

He stirred, opened his mouth without opening his eyes. “You’re awake.”

“You’re sleeping in.” You commented. 

“It’s raining.” 

You stayed in bed most of the morning. No alarms. No calls. No meetings. It was the first time in… God, months that there wasn’t something else tearing him away. And maybe it was the weather, or maybe it was the way his hand found yours under the blankets, but something about it felt different. Softer. Realer.

Eventually, you wandered into the kitchen together, sleep heavy and still in your pajamas.

Yoongi made pancakes. He burned the first batch and cursed under his breath, and you laughed so hard you had to sit down. He pretended to pout, but there was color in his cheeks that hadn’t been there in weeks.

Yoongi turned off the stove and came to sit across from you at the small dining table. He carefully placed the two plates on the table, with as he bit his inner cheeks, admiring his artwork. You ate in comfortable silence. 

You were washing the dishes when he suddenly asked from where he was seating. 

“Do you still believe in us?”

You didn’t answer right away. You were done with the dishes but you still had your back facing him, as you busied yourself wiping the plates just to avoid looking at his face. 

Part of you did. Part of you still saw the man who made you laugh with flour on his nose, who kissed your forehead when you couldn’t sleep, who wrote a love song in a spiral notebook just to keep from forgetting.

But there was another part. Smaller, quieter, but louder in recent months, that had grown weak and tired. Tired of holding everything up alone. Tired of waiting for your fiancé to look up and see you again.

So you told him the truth.

“I want to.” You sighed. “But I don’t want to keep holding onto something that you can easily decide to let go.” 

“Don’t say easy.” He quickly defended. “It was never an easy decision.” 

You finally turned and met his eyes. They looked slightly red and both of his hands were balled into fists. 

“I was tired.” He said softly. “I can bear the work but I can’t stand listening to you on the phone being all happy but then catching you cry yourself to sleep.” He looked down, feeling ashamed. “And I know you keep saying that you don’t mind, but I do… I mind it. I don’t want you suffering like that.”

“Honest to God, I don’t care how many times I have to cry.” You snapped. “I cry because I’m a human being with emotions. But it pays off. It always pays off seeing you come home to me. Because I love you, damnit. I fucking love you and I hate you for giving up.” Your voice shook, a single tear fell down from your right eye. 

Yoongi’s face crumpled like he had been slapped.

“I can’t give you a normal life…” His voice sounded so helpless and it broke you. “And I can’t just leave the responsibilities of the dream I’ve built in years.”

“I understand.”

Of course you did. You could never make him choose. You wouldn’t even dare. That wasn’t even logical. 

“I have my closure.” You said as you harshly wiped your tears. Forcing a smile, you took a deep breath. “We still have today and I don’t wanna waste it.”

The rain continued into the afternoon, thick and steady. You stayed indoors, the two of you moving through the house like a memory you both wanted to relive. Watching old dramas with your legs tangled on the couch. Sharing a blanket and a single bowl of popcorn. Pausing the show to argue about plot twists like you used to. You played the old board game that had been sitting on the rack for so long that it sprayed comically thick dust when you grabbed it. 

He kept reaching for you. Little things. A hand on your knee. His pinky curled around yours. Resting his chin on your shoulder when you went to get more snacks. 

And you let him. Because unlike what you said to him, you too were afraid of forgetting this. 

You ordered pizza and had Korean bbq for dinner. It seemed improper, impersonal. But both of you loved just sitting down and indulge in random what ifs, while sticking some beef and alcohol down your throats. 

You missed seeing his gummy smile. You missed him being a smartass and hearing his random philosophical thought about the whole society. You missed… him. 

If you knew it was going to be like this, maybe you shouldn’t had asked for the week. It would had been gentler for your heart. 

And when he climbed in beside you that night, he finally reached in and kissed you. You kissed him back. His fingers moved slowly across your body, like he was afraid you’d break just by a mere touch. His lips moved from your mouth, your cheek, down to your neck. By the time he reached your chest, your tears had fallen freely. 

It didn’t take him long to substitute the small hiccups to loud moanings of his name. 

DAY 7

The sound of items being stuffed and moved woke you up. Zipper dragged loudly, your mind immediately picked up on the situation. 

He was packing. 

It was the final day. Of course you didn’t expect him to stay much longer but it still felt so surreal seeing him packing his clothes and knowing the real intention behind it. 

You got up with your body still bare nude, you pulled the bedcover slightly over your chest. Your eyes met for a second, but he still kept going. You wanted to ask. Hell, you wanted to scream, cry, beg him to stay, but nothing came out from your mouth. 

“I ordered lunch.” He said, still busy with the packing. 

You didn’t realize that it was already noon. You quietly nodded and went to quickly shower yourself. You convinced yourself that you had accepted it all during the shower thinking session. 

You were about to get up and wash the dishes when he suddenly asked you. 

“Dance with me?”

You looked at him like he had gone insane. “There’s no beat.”

“I don’t care.” 

So you stood and you danced. No rhythm. No real steps. Just swaying and vulnerable, his forehead pressed to yours. And even now, no tears. Maybe it had all been dried up at this point. Maybe you really had finally came to terms with everything. 

“Do you remember when we danced like this in my old apartment?”

“In your old kitchen. I tripped on the rug and took you down with me.”

He chuckled lightly. “You kissed me afterwards.” 

“You looked beautiful in that moment. Like someone real.” You confessed. 

“I think I forgot how to be real for a while.”

You looked up and were surprised to meet his glassy eyes. 

And here when you thought you had accepted everything, he cupped your cheeks and your walls broke down again. 

“Give me a chance.”

“Wha— Yoongi, I thought you were leaving today.”

You panicked, cupping back his face so now both of you just grabbing each other faces like a couple of idiots. 

“Give me a chance,” He repeated. “But not out of obligation. Not because of what we had. Because I know we still can be.” 

Your heart thumped painfully. 

“I’ll find someone to train and take over my day to day. It’ll be a long process but if you’re willing to wait, I will have time for you…” A single tear quickly fell down and a desperate smile appeared on his lips. “I can’t promise you anything really, I hate myself for that. And I hate myself even more because I know you deserve better. Even though I know you deserve someone who would never make you feel neglected… I still can't think I can live without you.”

His voice finally broke as he sobbed. It was the very first time in years and years of knowing him. Sure you had seen him cry once or twice, whether from a good movie, to actual sadness. But never like this. 

Funnily enough, still, both of you were holding each other faces. You started breaking into tears too, finally after being in state of shock. 

“You don’t get to say all these things now and expect me to forget what it felt like when you asked to give up on us last week as if I meant nothing to you.” 

“I don’t expect that,” He said. “I just want a chance to earn your trust again, and a chance to be strong for myself.” 

“If I say yes,” You shuddered. “I don’t want it to be a restart. I want a repair. You have to rebuild from the cracks, not erase them.”

“I know.” He nodded, sniffing. 

“I need time.”

“You have the rest of my life.”

Your breath hitched. “I need you to stop thinking I’m weak because I can take it.” Finally, a smile appeared on your lips despite the tears raining down. “Because I can’t imagine living without you too.”

Yoongi exhaled, shoulders sagging with relief. But he didn’t reach for you right away. His hands were shaking, you felt it against your skin. He finally dropped his hands from your face. He waited.

You didn’t though. Instead leaned forward and pulled him in. You wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his neck. He held you back like someone who knew exactly what he had almost lost. He then kissed you like you were oxygen he desperately needed to survive. 

There was so much to learn, so much to fix. But you were sure you could face anything as long as you got him by your side.

Thank you for reading! 💍

“You’re single, right?” The guy asked out of the blue. 

“Me?” You pointed to yourself, while still sitting on the floor. 

“Who else? Jihyo has a boyfriend.” He rolled his eyes sassily. 

You folded your arms. “You came here just to mock me?!”

“See! She’s single.” He told Jungkook with a sly smile. 

You raised one of your eyebrows. “Are you seriously trying to…”

“No, geez.” Jin chuckled. “Just ask her.” He said to the other guy. 

“Can you help me out? I need a plus one on a wedding.” Jungkook suddenly said. 

“Who’s getting married? And why me though???”

“My brother.”

“Oh, yeah hell no. I’m not going.” You quickly said. 

“Wha— Why??? I haven’t even told you the whole reason!” He said, lips trying so hard not to form a pout. 

“I don’t wanna get interviewed by your family, duh??? I’ll be fine if it’s just Jin’s wedding or something.”

“Yeah, we’re not gonna see that any time soon though…” Jihyo giggled. 

Jungkook ignored Jin’s loud protests and continued. “I made a bet with my brother and he said he’ll buy me the new Switch if I somehow bring someone to his wedding.” 

“I still don’t want to get interrogated by your parents, Kook.” You sighed. 

“Don’t worry! I’ll tell them. It’s just to fool my brother and all.” He nodded eagerly, hoping you’d buy his reasoning. “Please? I’ll even let you try the switch first.” 

“That’s not a good offer?!” You said in a high pitched voice. 

“I’ll get you one of those cute blind boxes…?” Jungkook offered in an unsure tone.

“Yeah, um… I like those but no.” 

“I’ll throw in a dozen of Krispy Kreme.”

“Deal.”

“That’s what gets you???” Jihyo laughed. 

“I was on Jungkook’s side, but yeah, what the hell?!” Jin joined. 

You shrugged. “I love donuts.” 

“Thank you so much!!!” Jungkook bent down on your level on the floor and side hugged you playfully.

“When is this wedding anyway?” You cringed and pushed him to the side. 

“Two weeks from now.”

You sighed, regretting your decision already. “Awesome.”

**

“Uh, what are you doing here?”

6PM on a Thursday night. The night air was chilly, but not too cold. You just stepped out from your office building, ready to head home, when you noticed Jungkook waiting outside. He was smoking, one hand holding his bud and the other was tucked inside the pocket of his extremely baggy pants. 

He immediately squeezed the unfinished cigarette on the trash can next to him as soon as you were on sight. He clapped his hands to together, cleaning the debris, and straightened his posture. With a pleading look, he flashed you a grin. 

“Please come to my family dinner tonight.”

“Tonight?” You looked at him, processing. “What do you mean by tonight?!”

“It will convince my brother!”

“This wasn’t in any part of our deal…” You said in a warning tone. 

“I know! I’m so sorry, but I accidentally told him early that I’m bringing someone…” 

“Not exactly my problem now, is it?” You sighed and folded your arms. “Attending his wedding is one thing. We wouldn’t even get that many chances to talk with him. But a dinner??? I’ll die.”

“Please? Please???” He clasped his hands together, begging with big eyes. 

You sighed. “No.”

“Uh, please?” He closed one eye and the other peeking at you. A nervous smile on his lips.

“You really didn’t think this through, huh?” His expression almost made you crack. 

“No, I didn’t.” He slumped down. “Pretty please? With another dozen of Krispy Kreme on top and I’ll even buy them for you tonight?” He batted his eyelashes at you. 

“You didn’t just do that to me…” You pointed at him and bit your inner cheek. “I hate you.”

“Is that a yes?” He grinned. 

“I don’t know!” You replied in frustration. 

“Please? I won’t stop begging until you agree.” 

It was as if his eyes got bigger every time he said please. 

“You’re insane.” You groaned. “Whatever let’s just go.”

“Yes!” He threw his fist in the air, celebrating with a loud voice. 

“God bless whoever’s gonna be actually dating you.” You rolled your eyes, smiling nonetheless at his antics. 

“I love you too.” He giggled and pinched your cheeks. You swatted away his hand immediately. “I’ll pick you up tonight!” 

And so he picked you up at your place later on with his parent’s car instead of his Harley. Said he wanted you to be able to dress prettily and not having your hair messed up by the helmet. Also because he just ordered the donuts, like promised. He knew there was a possibility of you actually bailing on him if he failed to do so. 

You were nervous, but he assured you that he had informed his parents about the whole thing, so the only people to fool were his brother and his soon-to-be wife. 

“You think I look okay?” 

You asked the guy, turning around to show him your whole outfit. You were wearing a simple blouse and a pair of flared trousers. You weren’t quite sure if it was too formal or too underdressed for the occasion. 

“I barely see you in anything other than t-shirts and baggy pants.”

“As if you’re not the same.” You shook your head and looked at him. He was in fact, still with his usual baggy jeans and oversized tee. “It doesn't look pretentious or anything, right?” 

“It’s cute.” He assured. “Let's go.”

The compliment just rolled out from his tongue so naturally it almost took you off guard. 

Arriving at Jungkook’s house, the first thing you noticed was a scooter that was parked in front of the fences. You didn’t further question it though as a wave of nervousness washed over you. The reality quickly sank on you that you were going to act as if you were dating your friend to fool his brother.

“Remember we’ve been dating for three months.” Jungkook said to you as he turned off the car engine. 

“And we’re just taking things slow, no pressure.” You continued. “I’m actually so nervous.” You confessed.

He took a closer look at your face. “I mean hey, if you’re that uncomfortable, I’ll take you back home. It’s okay. I can just tell him that you still have work or something…”

“No, it’s fine.” You took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “Let’s get this over with.”

“You sure?”

You nodded and stepped out of the vehicle. 

As soon as you entered, you were welcomed by Jungkook’s mom, who had a beautiful smile on when she greeted you. You quickly noticed his brother Junghyun and his partner Yoora, sitting on a nearby sofa, eyes clearly on you, in which you quickly flashed a smile in return. You noticed an unknown man present though. He had medium length hair, fair skin, and a very comfy looking hoodie on. 

“I see Jungkook wasn’t lying.” His brother grinned and shook your hand, introducing himself and then his partner. 

You gulped, but kept your cool. “Nice to meet you.”

“Oh, that’s Yoongi by the way. He’s an old friend of mine.” He pointed at the guy standing at the corner and called him to join you. 

The man walked towards your direction and shook your hand, giving you a very short greeting. You quickly smiled at the guy as well, before turning your head at the sound of Jungkook’s mom calling you all to the table. 

“So how long have you guys been dating?” Jungkook’s brother asked.

“Three months.” Both of you said in unison. You cleared your throat, feeling awkward. 

“Where did you meet?”

“Jimin introduced—“

Both of you spoke at the same time again. You looked at Jungkook in annoyance while he grinned apologetically. His mom giggled next to him, seeing the two of you. 

“You guys are actually cute it’s disgusting.” The brother laughed. 

You were glad for whatever that was, it did more good than harm in convincing the man. 

“You guys should introduce Yoongi to someone too, he’s been single since forever.” He continued, earning an audible groan from the friend. 

“Shut up, I do go on dates.” Yoongi protested. 

“Hinge matches that you’ve never met in person don’t count, Yoongi.”

“I don’t have the time.” The man protested. 

“He’s single? I’m surprised.” You said to Jungkook in a whisper. 

“Why is that surprising?” Jungkook replied back in the same volume. 

“He’s lowkey hot.” You said without thinking.

Jungkook looked back at you with big eyes and crunched his nose. Before he had the chance to react further, his brother spoke again. 

“Any of your lady friends single?” Junghyun turned to you. 

“I’m sure we don’t need to pressure the poor guy like that.” You smiled. 

“Yeah, I didn’t wanna date before I met her too. You can’t force these things.” Jungkook said proudly. You almost rolled your eyes at the acting. 

“Ew, who are you again?” The older brother laughed at his sibling’s words. “Y/N, I’m truly impressed. How did you even manage to tame this animal?”

“He’s actually really sweet and caring at times.” You giggled, gazing at him playfully.

“Hopefully that makes up for him being a brat most of the time?” Yoora looked at you with a smile. 

“Hmm… that I’m not sure.” You chuckled. 

“Oh, is that so?” Jungkook pinched your cheek with a big grin on his face. He knew you couldn’t slap his hand away when everyone was looking. 

“You should join our party this weekend!” Junghyun said to you. “We have a couple of friends coming, it’s gonna be fun.”

“Uh, she’s kinda busy on the weekends… no?” Jungkook looked at you with worry. 

You shook your head with a smile. Everyone had been very nice and welcoming to you. You would be lying to say that you were busy on the weekends. Wouldn’t want to add more lies on top of another lie. 

“I know you don’t wanna go but don’t lie for her like that.” Junghyun eyed his brother.  

Jungkook looked at you, perplexed. “Are you sure?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I have nothing better to do anyway.”

After dinner the parents decided to hit the hay first, while Junghyun suggested to hangout at the back porch, having bought beers and all. You and Jungkook volunteered to fetch some cokes and snacks at the mini mart nearby. 

“Seriously, Yoongi?” Jungkook suddenly said as both of you were browsing an aisle. 

You gave your friend a side eye. “Are you judging my taste in men?!”

“You’re into nerds?”

“You’re one to talk.” You threw a bag of Doritos at his direction, that he caught just in time. 

“I still go out and socialize.” He shrugged with a smug smile. 

“Good for you.” You rolled your eyes and walked past him. 

“He barely talks.”

“And you talk too much.”

“Ouch.” Jungkook dramatically put his hands on his chest. 

“You’re taking it way too seriously, I just think he’s hot. I don’t know him.” You pushed him by his shoulder playfully. 

“How about you get to know him then?” He suddenly suggested. You could practically see a broken lightbulb lit up above his head. “I’ll make sure you get to spend some time with him later.”

“You sure switch your lanes fast.” You shook your head. “We’re supposed to be a couple too, so that doesn’t help.”

“Just tell him, he’s chill.” He dismissed. “Knowing him, he probably doesn’t give two shits about it anyway. Besides, it’s not like I’m planning on lying to my brother forever.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?” You thought it was weird too that you actually were considering making a move. 

“He’s a nerd but he’s alright. Decent person.” He made an upside down u with his lips, nodding. “If that’s what you’re into, who am I to judge?”

“You suck.” You threw another snack at him, making him laugh. 

After some chit chats and a few embarrassing stories later, it was almost twelve and at this point everyone just sat down enjoying the night sky. The couple seemed like they were enjoying themselves, cuddling up with each other on the other side of the porch, while you were left with a few more cans or beer with Jungkook and Yoongi. 

Jungkook started to eye you weirdly, signaling you to say something to the awfully quiet man beside you. You looked at him, shaking your head. The boy just smirked at you before suddenly standing up. 

“Gotta hit the bathroom real quick.”

“Jungkook…” You pulled him by his t-shirt, eyeing him. 

“Don’t be too clingy now.” He chuckled and walked away, holding his laughter. 

You sighed and turned to Yoongi, who was now looking at you after Jungkook leaving you alone with him. He took another can and twisted the handle open. 

“You must have the patience of a saint to be with him.” He suddenly said. 

Your eyes widened slightly at the comment, surprising he was starting a conversation. You shook your head, smiling. You didn’t know exactly where to start on the topic. 

“Let me guess, he paid you to act?” 

You gasped, covering your mouth. “Not too loud!”

“They’re asleep.” 

You looked to your right, and a sigh of relief came out as you saw the couple sleeping on the couch. 

“So it’s true?” Yoongi nonchalantly asked as he took more sips of the beer. 

“Well, he didn’t pay me like that… He got me some donuts and I’m just doing him a favor.” 

“You’re doing it for donuts?” 

It was the first time you hear his chuckle, it sounded beautiful. 

“You get a couple of donuts and he gets a brand new Nintendo Switch? That sounds fair.”

“I love doing things for the plot, I guess.” You smiled bashfully. 

He hummed, still with a small smile on his lips. “What’s your favorite movie?”

“Huh? What’s that got to do with anything?”

“I judge people’s character by their favorite movie.”

You giggled. “Jungkook was right.”

Yoongi looked at you questioningly. 

“You’re a nerd.” 

“Oh.” He voiced, seemingly lightly offended.

“It’s Midsommar and Inception.” You answered. 

Instead of reacting, Yoongi just gulped the beer can, this time finishing it. 

“So… what does that say about my personality?” 

“You’re not dating Jungkook, right?”

You were once again surprised. “Depends on who’s asking.” You replied, testing the waters. 

“I’m asking.” He said bluntly. 

You grinned. “Then no, I’m not.”

You had a few more chats before Jungkook came back from his so-called toilet break. You had no idea where he went or what he actually did, but you made a mental note to thank him later for the small favor. 

Jungkook drove you back home that night. The cheeky grin you had the entire ride was giving it away. 

“You look creepy. I assume things went well?” Jungkook asked with eyes still on the road. 

You shrugged but failed to wipe the smirk off your face. “I guess? You were right though…”

“About what?”

“He is a nerd… a cute one.” You giggled. 

“Disgusting.” Jungkook shook his head. “Please keep your act at the wedding.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t betray you like that.” You patted his shoulder from the passenger seat. “After all, you did help me so I could talk to him. So, thank you.”

“Hey, thank you too for even agreeing to whatever this bullshit is.” He sighed. “You know you don’t have to go to that party too.”

“It’s okay, your brother and his girl are good people, I enjoy the company.” You paused then grinned. “Plus, I’ll get to see Yoongi again.”

“If he shows up, that is.” Jungkook laughed. “You better pray cause that man hates parties.”

**

You stared at the reflection in your mirror, fixing the wrinkles on the clothes, you twisted your body to the left and to the right. You were not so sure if wearing a mini skirt was a right choice for the party. You could easily go with your usual baggy jeans and crop top combo, but there was a possibility of Yoongi showing up and you wanted to look pretty. At the very least. Dunking your lip gloss and tint in your purse, you threw in your perfume as well. 

The look Jungkook gave you once he saw you opening the car door was hard to miss. His mouth was ever so slightly gaped and his eyebrows furrowed. You would had guessed that he was insulting you, but his head nodded afterwards, lips turning into thin line as he did. He appeared to be amazed by what he saw. 

“You dressed up well.” He said as you took a seat and closed the door. 

“I’m still betting on Yoongi showing up, remember?”

“Ah yes, of course.” He clicked his tongue. “You don’t need to doll up for him, he’ll show up in a hoodie and bucket hat or something.”

“He doesn’t have to try.” You shrugged.

“Wow, calm down.” He looked at you with judging eyes. “This is you being sarcastic, right?”

You shrugged again, smirking. 

One hour into the party and there was still no sign of your crush at the function. Jungkook’s brother was opening a second bottle of Jägermeister, pouring it for everyone, mixing it with cans of Red Bulls. 

Your supposed boyfriend had already gulped multiple glasses down, his cheeks were glowing pink and he was even more chatty. 

“Looks like your man isn’t coming.” He said to you. 

“It is what it is.” You sighed, downing a shot. 

“At least you look cute today.”

“You think so?” You eyed him with an amused smirk. You wondered if it was already the alcohol doing its thing. 

“Yeah.” He agreed casually. 

You chuckled. “I thought your tolerance was better than this.”

“I’m not drunk yet.” He rolled his eyes. “Wanna go get some fresh air?”

You looked around and saw everyon on the table was dancing around, pretty much tipsy if not drunk already. 

“Can we?” You asked him. 

Instead of answering, Jungkook went to his brother. “We’re going to catch some fresh air for a bit, is that good?”

“Alright, use protection kiddos.” The older man laughed and patted his shoulder. 

“That’s not—“ The man was already back on the dance floor without letting his little brother finish the sentence. 

Jungkook turned to you. “He thinks we’re off to fuck, but we’re good to go.”

“Ew.” You cringed but followed the man out from the club. 

Jungkook sighed heavily as soon as you were at the front of the club. “I thought I was gonna turn deaf.”

“Yeah.” I chuckled. “Your brother parties well it seems.”

“He loves it. He’s borderline alcoholic.” Jungkook shook his head. “I think he likes you.”

“How do you know?”

“He knows my ex from two years ago. He was still bugging me on inviting her even after I told you were gonna show up at our dinner.” He sighed. “I don’t see her, I guess it worked out.”

“Is she someone I know?” You asked with a careful tone. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever introduced her to any of you guys… Jimin knows her though.”

“I see…” You looked away, suddenly feeling awkward on the topic. 

He eyed you and laughed, nudging you before he spoke. “It’s okay to ask, I don’t feel anything for her anymore.” 

You stayed quiet and observed his demeanor, searching for doubts. 

“Seriously! It wasn’t anything bad. We just wanted different things and it didn’t work out. My brother likes her though, so that’s why.” He laughed again, but it slowly faded as he was lost in thoughts on something. “Fuck, if I think about it, he’s gonna be so pissed once he finds out.”

“Is it really worth the Switch?”

“Totally.” He answered without hesitation, laughing. “You on the other hand, I just know it’s not worth the donuts.”

“It’s not that bad. I don’t hate it.” 

“You’re just saying that because you met Yoongi.” He smirked.

“It is a nice bonus!” You cackled, looking up at the sky. “Everyone’s nice and I don’t hate hanging out with you.” 

“Wow.” He rolled his eyes but a smile found his lips. “You know what, let’s go eat some good steak after the wedding!”

“Really?” Your eyes beamed with excitement. 

He nodded. “I don’t hate hanging out with you either.” The grin on his lips was almost blinding.  

Both of you wounded up talking some more. You didn't know that you enjoyed talking basically about shit nothings with him. You never really had the chance to spend time much time alone with him before, given you always met him with the group and you were more close to Jihyo and Jimin. You liked how silly and random he could be and the way he laughed sounded soothing. You were not sure why you came into that conclusion but you decided to stick with it.

Until a certain man stopped in front both of you.  

“Why are you guys outside?”

“Yoongi?” You called, surprised upon seeing the guy. “I thought you weren’t coming.”

The man flattened his lips, trying to appear indifferent. He had his hands inside his pockets and everything. One thing you quickly noticed was how put together he looked. He looked very different from the guy you talked with at the back porch. His hair was sleeked back neatly and you could smell his perfume from where you stood. The black button up shirt fit his physique so well. Surely, no hoodie nor bucket hat like what Jungkook had mentioned. 

Jungkook who seemingly aware of how starstruck you were, let out an audible groan at the scene. 

“I had some work today, I thought of ditching actually.” Yoongi said while looking at you. 

“What changed your mind?” You curiously asked. 

The man shrugged nonchalantly. “Heard you’re invited.”

“Oh.” Your mouth went slightly ajar. You almost couldn’t believe his words. 

“Y’all are disgusting. I’m heading in.” Jungkook walked right through the middle of you and Yoongi, storming right back into the club. 

“Huh.” Yoongi voiced, eyes following Jungkook’s figure disappearing at the door. “Does he know?”

“He knows. It was even his idea…”You confessed. “He went to the toilet on purpose just so we could talk that night.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.”

“Nah, don’t worry. He’s just a pouty brat.” You dismissed. “Let’s go in?”

Yoongi nodded and followed you from behind. 

The moment you and Yoongi arrived at the reserved table, Jungkook was doing two shots of something that one of his brother’s friend handed him. Your eyes met for a split second on his first shot, before he ignored you and chugged another one. Here you thought he was done drinking already. Did he forget that he drove you here?

You had known Jungkook for a while and you knew he could handle his alcohol. You had no problem switching place and drove him. So you kept conversing with Yoongi, thinking your fake boyfriend would be fine, just having a bit more fun wouldn’t hurt him. 

Something was definitely wrong when you saw the lad slurring and excusing himself to puke. 

“Kook? You alright?”

“No.” He replied from the toilet stall. 

You heard another gagging sound before he pressed the flush button. He came out soon after, looking very flushed and unwell. 

“I thought you were done drinking for the night.” You approached him, patting his back. 

“I was being stupid.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I can drive back…”

“It’s okay, I’ll drive you and just take uber back.” You assured him. 

Jungkook muttered a low “thanks” before trailing you from behind, back to the table.

“You alright, dude?” Yoongi looked at the guy with sympathy. 

“Yup.” Jungkook did an okay sign, with half closed lids. “At least I can still form a thought.”

“Geez, how will you get home?” Yoongi looked at your direction. 

“I can drive him and take a cab back.” You replied. 

“I can take you home.” The man said sternly. “I’ll meet you at his apartment complex.”

“Oh, you don’t have to!” You widened your eyes, refusing politely. “You just got here too…”

“I insist.” Yoongi grabbed your shoulder, stopping you from rambling further. “Let’s go.”

You followed Yoongi and walked to bid goodbyes to the party host, letting him know the reasoning before heading to the parking lot. 

The tatted man was pretty quiet and calm the whole ride, except for the very few short verbal responses he gave out when you asked him something. Occasionally he would hum like a little kid. You were just glad he was not that drunk to the point where it was impossible to handle. He could still walk by himself properly, but you walked him to his room just in case. 

You were greeted by an over excited Bam, Jungkook’s dog, jumping up to you. It had been quite some time since last you saw the big Doberman. You were glad at least he didn’t think of you as a stranger. Once Jungkook had sat down on the couch, you went back to pet the dog. 

“Did I tell you that you look cute today?”

You looked back at the man who was staring at you innocently. Finally getting to experience first hand on his drunk baby behavior instead of just hearing stories from Taehyung was something else. 

“Yes, you did.” You said without looking at him. Your attention was still on the giant dog. 

“Did Yoongi tell you that too?”

You halted and thought to yourself. That question definitely made you think. Yoongi did not mention anything about how your appearance whatsoever. Did he really have to though? 

“No, he didn’t…”

“You’ve tried your best and he didn’t even say anything?!” 

“Well, at least you noticed.” You smiled. 

“You’re damn right I did.” He grinned proudly. 

You shook your head at the nonsense. “Good night, Kook.”

“Night, cutie.” 

When you got out, Yoongi was already waiting for you. You panned out exchanging numbers after he dropped you off.

**

“This might be the very last favor I’m gonna ask you before it’s finally done for real.”

“What is it again now?”

“Spend the night at the venue hotel with me? Please? My brother booked a room for the family and apparently he added an extra room for us…”

You could hear his voice begging over the phone call. 

“What’s in it for me? I don’t wanna end up like that time you hit Jimin in his sleep.”

“Free breakfast and an awesome roomie that will try his best not to accidentally kick you in your sleep.” His chuckles slowly faded.

“So you’re basically offering nothing.”

“Please?” You could almost picture his exact facial expression.

“I guess a little staycation won’t hurt.” You sighed. It seemed like you couldn't find yourself to reject him. “We’ve already gone too far anyway, might as well just finish this.”

“Thank you so much!” The man shouted from the other line. “I’ll try my best not to hit you while I sleep.”

“You better be.”

So that was how you were now up binge watching unsolved crimes on YouTube, with your pretend boyfriend, who had a newly opened bottle of wine right in his hand, pouring it down onto a glass. 

“You sure your brother wouldn’t mind us taking one of his wines?” 

“Nah, this was gifted anyway.” He waved.

“If you say so.” 

You took the freshly poured glass and slumped on the bed, enjoying the cool feeling of the bedsheets on your skin. Jungkook was lying down next to you, over the bed cover. Both of you had changed into your pajamas and all.

On the fifth video playing, you finally got a text back from Yoongi after you informed him about your small sleepover situation. It could be the lack of emojis used in the replies, but he seemed chill about the whole thing, only telling you to call him right away if anything cynical were ever to occur.  

You didn’t realize but soon your attention was taken by the small screen in your hands, instead of the huge television in the room. But when it finally came into your attention, you quickly put down your phone. You had always disliked people playing with their phones when hanging out with you, figured you would not want to do the same thing. 

“I just told Yoongi that I’m staying the night here.” 

Jungkook’s eyes were already at you when you looked up from your phone. 

He turned back to the screen, going back to take another chip from the bag on his hand. “What did he say?”

“He seems cool with it. Told me to call him straight up if you try anything fishy.”

“Are you guys like a thing now?” 

“Eh, we’ve texted back and forth for days but that’s all.” You shrugged.

The man shifted his position to your direction. “So… do you like him?”

“I mean, I guess he seems like a perfect textbook boyfriend.”

“Whose textbook?” Jungkook raised one of his eyebrows. 

“Well, mine?” You chuckled. “Guess I really do like nerds.” 

“Oh, wow.” Jungkook said in a straight tone, unamused.

“I mean he’s nice and cute, what more can you ask for?” 

The man sighed. “Well, if that’s the case then I guess good for you.” 

“You don’t sound too happy about it.” You noticed the shift in his voice. 

“I’m not excited to see you being all gross with him after this.” He rolled his eyes and pushed the snack to your direction. 

You took one chip and chuckled. “He could just be flirting for fun.”

“Yoongi doesn’t do that.” Jungkook replied with his mouth full. “Bro barely flirts in general.”

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.” 

Suddenly a big thunder flashed, making a loud noise that shocked both of you. You jumped from your seat to look by the hotel window. It was suddenly pouring heavy outside. Jungkook followed you shortly, peeking next to you. 

You pulled the curtains open, enjoying the calming rain atmosphere. “We’re gonna sleep so good tonight.” 

“Lights on or lights off?” The man asked. 

“Off, all of them.”

“I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me.” Jungkook went in for a hi-five. 

You crossed your leg and sat on the floor, eyes on the crazy weather outside. Once again, Jungkook mimicked and joined you on the floor. 

“What’s on your mind?” He asked.

“Nothing, it’s just really nice.” You sighed. “Do you have any nosy relatives?”

“The old ones from my dad’s side are sometimes a bit, but nothing too crazy. Why? Ah… you’re scared you’re gonna get interrogated tomorrow?” 

“Sorta, yeah.” You chuckled. “I don’t do well with new people.”

“You’re gonna be fine, they’ll like you.” He assured. “I’ll do the talk, you’ll just have to smile and look pretty.”

“You think I look pretty?” You pointed at yourself, grinning. 

“I’ve told you before.”

You suddenly remember that night when he was drunk. “Oh, you remember that? You told me I looked cute though not—“

“I remember what I said.” He cut you off with a slight annoyed tone.

“Uh, thanks…” You said, suddenly feeling awkward. You didn’t know why he suddenly seemed so serious about it. 

“You don’t believe it, do you?”

“Well, you were drunk and I know you, you love to say a lot of shit nothings.” 

“I’m not drunk now so…” He puffed his cheeks. 

“We were just drinking wine?” You replied. 

Jungkook groaned. “Shut up.”

“Alright, I believe you.” You laughed. Your cheeks feeling ever so slightly warm. You decided it was due to the glass of wine instead of thinking of other possibilities. 

Jungkook laughed as well, after he rolled his eyes at you. Your eyes met for a short second, but you quickly broke it off and looked back at the window. You were not quite sure why, but you felt the urge to lean your head on the boy’s shoulder. Figuring it wouldn’t be weird, you did so. After all, you did it all the time with Jimin too.

You could tell his shoulder stiffened at first, but it quickly loosened and relaxed. A few seconds later he leaned back his head on top of yours, and both of you just stayed like that for minutes, only the sound of the downpour filling up the room. 

“Hey, look at the sky.”

“Huh?” You suddenly straightened your position and looked up. “What is—“

Then your mind blanked. In a split second Jungkook launched an attack, giving you a surprise kiss on your right cheek. You heard it making a loud smooch noise, despite the rain blaring in the background. You looked at him with your hand now holding your cheek. Would you believe that, the man just looked at you with a big grin as if he was innocent, his eyes turned into thin lines, his lip piercing glared under the moonlight. 

“Did you just kiss me???”

“On your cheek, yes.” He nodded like a kid. The smug grin was still there, proudly. 

“You told me to look at the sky!” You whined. 

“That was the most classic move in the book.” He laughed. 

“Whose book is this?!” You retorted. Weirdly enough, you didn’t seem to mind it that much.

“We need to both review our books it seems like.” He chuckled. “I’m sorry, you just looked very pretty under the moon and all, it was very dramatic in my eyes.” 

“Is this the alcohol talking again?”

“Stop blaming the alcohol and start taking my compliments seriously.” He folded his arms, the muscles flexed as he did. 

Great. Now how in the heavens were you suppose to sleep again?

Thankfully, things somehow managed to cool down after that, and both of you soon retrieved to the bed after cleaning up. 

You were glad the man next to you was a heavy sleeper, so he wouldn’t notice you tossing and turning. Should you be overthinking on Jungkook’s behavior? You knew he was a flirty being, you were sure he did things like this all the time. After all, he fell asleep almost instantly like nothing had ever happened, so it must be true. 

The next morning when you woke up, the left side of the bed was already empty. You were glad that at least no accidents happened during your sleep. It would suck to go to the celebration with a blue eye. You still remembered Jimin’s pain that one time you went camping. 

Assuming Jungkook was off to the gym, you got up and took a shower. By the time you were done, there was a sweaty bare back facing you, sitting on the edge of the bed, gulping down a bottled water. 

Last time you saw Jungkook shirtless was a few months back, maybe even a year ago. Jihyo had this immaculate idea of a beach day, only for it to end up raining. You and her stayed inside the cottage the entire time. But the boys? They didn’t care. Every single one of them ended up catching the cold too. 

That being said, at that period of time, Jungkook was already muscular, but he sure as hell wasn’t as this big. Maybe it was the amount of Twinkies he ate on his free time doing wonders on his bulking. 

“Oh, you’re done?” Jungkook suddenly turned, clutching the t-shirt he had on his hand to his chest. It was almost funny how big his eyes popped open. 

“Yeah.” You wondered why he got flustered all of the sudden. 

“I may stink a bit.” He sheepishly laughed. “I’ll shower and we’ll get breakfast after?”

**

And before you knew it, you were on the table with the Jeons. A flared floral dress clung on your body, heels hanging on your left foot as you crossed your legs, sitting prettily as what Jungkook had asked you. 

You were thankful he kept his words. Here you were, giggling at Jungkook’s aunt, telling you a story about how when he was a baby he used to cry every time upon seeing a literal piece of broccoli. You barely need to say anything. Jungkook kept the conversation going and would always wittily shift the conversation away from turning into public interrogation. 

When the main celebration was over, he didn’t stop you from going to converse with Yoongi. Nor he did when the man kindly asked to swap dance partners. Maybe it was just how he didn’t need any more convincing or anything to prove. The job was already done. 

You found yourself questioning on why he didn’t though, on why he just let you be. You questioned yourself on why you never really felt the butterflies around Yoongi. But at this point, you began to realize something was up. He would say something and all you could think of was how Jungkook would react over the top, make a dumb pun, and dance around like an idiot instead. Yoongi was exactly how you would imagine your perfect guy. But was it also a mental block that made you think you felt something for him other than mild admiration? 

“You’re zoning out.”

“Oh! I was?” You jumped slightly, hearing Yoongi’s comment. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you looking for him?”

“I was just wondering where he went, I haven’t seen him since the dance…”

“I didn’t say a name.” 

You were taken aback. Yoongi’s expression was a mixture of amusement and light disappointment. 

“I’m sorry, my head’s been all over the place…” You replied in a low voice. 

The man sighed, crossing his hands. “Don’t apologize. Don’t worry about it. 

“But, Yoongi…”

“Think about it. Would you say yes if any other person asked you to do this ridiculous favor just for donuts? And why does Jungkook even need to do this so badly?! He could afford the console himself if he wanted to.”

Huh. 

He sighed again, but this time there was a small smile on his lips. “Go. Before I like you even more.”

“I’m so sorry, Yoongi.”

“Just go.”

And with that push, you picked up your feet and searched. He was nowhere near his family table and nowhere at dessert bar. And you knew it wasn’t like him to not camp in the dessert area like a hungry child. You texted him but there was no immediate response. You weren’t sure if calling would be a good idea. You figured he must had ran back to the hotel room.

Your assumption was correct when you found him lying on the floor, with arms and legs stretched out like a starfish, tie discarded next to him. He only spared a look at you for a few seconds, before going back on focusing his vision up at the ceiling. 

“Jungkook, what the hell are you doing…” You couldn’t help a smile forming on your lips. 

“Comforting myself.” He grinned with eyes closed shut. “Wanna join?”

You looked at him and shook your head in disbelief. It took you merely five seconds of decision making before giving up and laid on your side next to him. Jungkook quickly turned his body to your direction once he felt your presence close by. With his arm under his head for support, there was that boyish grin plastered on his face looking at you again. 

“So what are we doing on the floor again?”

“Dunno.” He bit his inner cheeks as he spoke. “You look really pretty today.” He mentioned unpromptly. 

“Stop saying that.” You looked away. 

“Just in case Yoongi hasn’t told you.” He grinned. “Why are you here? You should be at the party…”

“And you don’t?! I thought you want that new switch?” 

“I do, it’s just… I can’t really give a damn about that right now, honestly.” He scoffed. “You shouldn’t be here, though.”

“And why is that?”

“It’s giving me hope.” He turned his body and laid on his back, facing the ceiling again. “This sucks balls but I have to admit that I’m jealous.”

You froze in place. Your eyes still glued to him, looking at his side profile as he continued to talk without meeting your eyes. 

“Yoongi is exactly your type. The whole hot nerd vibe. Smart, broody, quiet. He’s what you go for.” He chuckled. “I’m gonna sound so pick me after this, but I’m not that. I’m dumb and loud. And I hate it.”

“Jungkook…”

“I know this is fake. But it didn’t feel fake.” His voice dropped. “Not to me. Holding you, laughing until we can’t breathe, and last night with the rain???” He smiled in defeat. “I guess somewhere along the line, I just stopped pretending. I stopped thinking about the switch. Hell, fuck the switch. Haven’t thought about it even once after that night at the club…” He shook his head vigorously like a dog, as if wanting to get rid of his thoughts. “I got so jealous that night I started drinking like an idiot.”

Your heart thudded painfully. “You know I liked Yoongi.” 

Words coming out from your mouth shocked him, especially the way you were using past tense. His eyes glimmered in hope. Once again you were amazed by his big rounded eyeballs. 

“But even when I was with him, I kept missing you. I kept wondering how you’d react, thinking about how you’d crack a lame joke, how you’d try to tease me about it…” 

He blinked a few times. “Wait, really???”

“Yeah.”You chuckled, a bit flustered by exposing yourself. “I thought I was doing it for Krispy Kreme, but honest to heavens no one would actually be this dumb. I thought I was at least, but even Yoongi told me that this is just beyond ridiculous.” You sighed. “I wouldn’t be here if I don’t actually enjoy being with you.” 

Jungkook’s expression softened. He too let out a heavy breath. He scooted closer to you with his pair of black boba eyes looking straight at you like a giant puppy. 

“You mean it?”

“I mean, I did have one glass of champagne before coming up here…” You giggled. 

The guy pouted. “Not funny.” 

You reached for his nose and booped it, making him flinch. You took his left hand and placed it on your chest, where your heart was literally beating out of your rib cage. The eye contact didn’t last long as you broke it off, feeling your stomach twisted into a knot. 

And Jungkook wasted zero second after that confirmation. He brought both of his palms and grabbed your face close. His soft lips found yours instantly. Your gasp was muffled by his mouth and it took you no time to melt into his touch though. The kiss was short, nothing too much. You were the first to broke it off, but he did leaned over to chase your lips once more. You caught a glimpse of his proud grin before he pulled you into a hug, stuffing your face into his embrace. 

“Do we really have to do this on the floor?” You protested, but your jaw was basically hurt from smiling. 

“You’re mine you’re mine you’re mine.” He chanted like a possessed individual. He buried his face in your hair and laughed freely. 

“You’re insane.” You giggled. 

“Insanely into you, yeah.” He proudly grinned. 

“Oh my god, don’t make regret this.” You rolled your eyes playfully, finding his antics endearing. 

“You’re mine!!!” He declared again, almost shouting while squeezing you. 

“You haven’t asked anything though.” You backed away, raising your eyebrows at him. 

His eyes widened and his mouth went slightly ajar. "Oh yeah, you’re right, I haven’t asked properly. Well then…” He leaned in a bit closer and took your hand in his, looking into your eyes with sincerity. He inhaled and then, “Do you want to eat wagyu steak with me tonight?”

You pushed him off and whined. 

He laughed, holding his stomach as he did. “Let’s get up first. I’m not asking you to be my girlfriend on the floor.” 

Apparently, the small damage you made amused the headmaster, the boss of the organization. Instead of getting trafficked, you assumed, you were forced to train into one of the dogs, as what they called. At a young age, you then became an official guard dog of an elite gang and earned your new alias, Violet. 

The very next month was when you first got assigned with a partner. His nickname was Agust, a man who was just a few years older than you, but seemingly equipped with far more experience. Fair skin, not too tall, and jet black hair that was sometimes pulled into a small bun. There was a small scar across his right eye, but you didn’t even wanna ask why and how did he get it. He was quiet, professional, and quick. You were surprised to get paired up with someone as capable as him on your first ever gig.

It happened again in the next two months after that, the next week, and then until somehow the boss wouldn’t assign you on anything without the man coming along. You just worked together perfectly. It was almost you could read his mind without him needing to tell you anything. Your creative thinking matched well with his quick and quiet moves. 

There was never really anything between the two of you. Not even a mere friendship, just strictly business. But little by little you started to pick on his habit and so did he. You started smoking after gigs, while he now carried a few pieces of bandaid in his pocket for emergency annoying cuts, just like you did. It was bound to happen anyway when you spent that much time working together. 

Your new life was far from perfect. But it was… secure. Yes, your life was continuously put at risk, but at the very least you didn’t have to think about whether you could afford food on your plate the next day. You could afford the latest gadget if you wanted to and the apartment complex they told you to stay in was pretty sweet. 

**

Agust cursed under his breath as he peaked over his shoulder, sore feet dragging him as he kept going, hoping he had successfully flee. 

"Answer the damn phone…" He muttered through gritted teeth, clicking his tongue in annoyance as he shoved the phone back in his pocket and made a mental note to scold you about it later. His eyes turned to a small dark corner, then he spotted you, his trusted partner in crime, leaning against your track taking puffs from your cigarette, unbothered.

“You’re late.” He groaned, approaching you. 

“Your car decided it was a great time to not function.” You raised your eyebrows. “I found another car though, you’re welcome.”

“So you just left my car like that?!” He asked in disbelief as he followed you from behind. 

“I called Vante. I’m sure he’s taken it somewhere.” 

“Knowing him my car is probably torn to pieces right now, on its way to become his robot coke server or something.” He sighed. “You should’ve just left the car.”

“And risk leaving evidence???” You glared at him before you entered the car. “Why did you even buy that old ass car…”

“It’s vintage.” He corrected you as he took the passenger seat, looking vexed.

A small smile crept up on your lips, a bit amused seeing the expression on his face. “Relax, I told him to not touch it.” You flicked off the cigarette bud by the window, stomped on the pedal, and sped away. 

You arrived shortly at your hideout after a quiet ride. As usual both of you reported to your superordinates and handed out whatever was requested. In this case, an ear of a supposed business partner’s. You did not know what happened between them that your boss had to request for such thing, but you didn’t asked. Not like you had the authority to. 

The back porch was small, nothing flashy to avoid attention, but you loved spending just a few minutes winding yourself back after a job. Reminding yourself of nature, the small things in life, the opposite of the brutal truth you had to encounter every single day. 

You took out the cigarette pack from your pocket and lit up your favorite heart shaped lighter. It was one thing that every members loved to tease you about, but you couldn’t care less. You thought the design was pretty and there was nothing wrong with it. It had been with you for almost two years now. It didn’t look as cute as it was with small bloodstain that you couldn’t remove right at the corner. 

“I told you to stop.” 

A man, your partner, approached as he lit one up for himself as well. 

“I’ll quit when you quit.” You scoffed. “I picked the habit from you anyways so it’s only fair.”

Both of you stood in silence, the sound of birds chirping filling the air and the sun was slowly setting. 

“Has Jay told you about our next gig?” You said after puffing some smoke to the opposite direction. 

“No.”

“No?” You looked at him in disbelief. “Don’t you guys live nearby or something…”

“If you hadn’t notice, people don’t really enjoy talking to me that much.” He huffed. 

“I do.” You shrugged. 

“We kinda have to with our circumstances.”

“I don’t think they hate talking to you. You just love to push people away without giving them the chance to actually do it.” You flicked some ashes into a tray next to you. “You do realize that?”

“What’s our next gig about?”

You sighed, noticing the way he avoided the topic. “We’re taking the owner of Club Brooklyn for some talk. I don’t know the details yet but we might need to disguise and blend in a little bit since it’s a public place.”

“When is it?”

“Next Saturday if I’m not mistaken.”

Your partner frowned. “I have a solo the day before.”

“I think this one’s might just be a chill gig so you’ll be alright. Is it like a big stuff?”

“Some money laundering shit. Big guy needs me there.” He frowned, huffing the last puff before squeezing the bud on the metal ashtray. 

“You’ll be fine.”

**

A loud knock followed by another, then another afterwards. It was almost four. Surely, you weren’t expecting anyone to come and visit at this hour. You quickly grab a pocket knife from your side table, proceeding cautiously. Bringing your eyes to the small peephole, you were beyond shocked. 

“What the fuck happened?!” Exclaimed you, quickly letting the person in. 

The state Agust in wasn’t something you had not seen. Bloody nose, bruised knuckles, and a small cut on side of his left jaw. It was more the fact that he just showed up at your door unpromptedly. In the years of knowing him, this was a first time. 

“Had to flee, fucker’s got government people with him. We were outnumbered.” He said with hoarse voice. 

You noticed the obvious limping and moved to his side, helped him to sit on your small couch.“What happened to your feet?”

“Metal bat.” He sighed. “Asshole.”

You sighed along him, bending down and sat on the floor. You rolled one side of his trousers up to check on it. Immediately, you cringed at the sight of the purplish hue on his skin. 

“I’ll go get some ice compression.”

You came back a few minutes later with a bag of ice pack and a glass of water. He winced at the contact with the cold surface, but he kept his composure. You handed the glass cup to him and he took it immediately, muttering a quick thanks. 

“It seems like you’re gonna need some makeup for our mission later.”

“Shit, I forgot about that.” He scoffed, rubbing his temples. 

“Just stay in, I’ll call someone to pick you up later.”

“You sure?”

“I don’t mind.” You said casually. “You want the bed?”

“The couch is fine.” He said after groaning as he moved his position. 

“If you want to wash up I have some oversized t-shirts you can use.” 

“Thanks, I’ll just stay here for now though.” He sighed. 

“Okay.” You nodded. “I’ll leave you to rest.”

Sleep didn’t take you for long. You woke up from your short sleep at around nine. You felt a bit restless at the thought of your partner sleeping in your living room. He was still asleep on the couch, both of his feet were up on the armrest and it looked unpleasant. It also seemed like he had clean himself a bit, despite still being in his clothes. 

“Hey.” I shook his shoulder lightly. “Go wash up and sleep on the bed for a bit.” 

His body must be aching but you got an immediate response. Everyone on the house was a light sleeper, it came with the job. 

It was quite the sight seeing him in your t-shirt. Funny how the oversized fit now seemingly turned into a fitted one. Thankfully, you forgot to give back a pair of sweatpants you borrowed from Vante a while ago. Suits, shirts, ties, trousers, and black boots were his usual go to. You barely saw him out of his work attire. 

“You seem comfortable.” You couldn’t help but to comment. A small smile appeared on your lips. 

“T-shirt’s a bit small but it’s alright.” He said as he dried his hair with a towel. 

“It looks good on you.” You shrugged. 

He eyed you suspiciously but commented on nothing. 

“Toast? Coffee?” 

“Yes, please.” 

Both of you sat in congenial silence, just eating the buttered toast as the TV showed a random news forecast. 

“You wanna go and rest some more?” 

“Nah, I’m good.” He dismissed.

You nodded. “You wanna watch something?”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Do you?”

“Why not.”

He stayed quiet as you browsed through the options on the screen. He seemed tensed suddenly, you weren’t quite sure why. 

“Any preference?”

“Anything’s fine.”

“Don’t say that, I’m about to make you watch some old Hello Kitty movie.” You chuckled.

The corner of his lips curved a little and he turned to face you. “Hello Kitty?”

“It’s a cartoon cat from Japan.”

“I know that.” He scoffed. “You like Hello Kitty?”

“Is that surprising?”

“No, it’s on brand with you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean…” You tilted your head, eyeing the guy. 

“You always carry some cartoon animal band-aids. I’m surprised you don’t stick cute stickers on your pistol.”

“Hey, I’m allowed to have a personality, okay?! You should try it.” You rolled your eyes.

“No, no, I’m not mocking you. It’s adorable.” 

The warm smile on his lips was a huge contrast to the expression you were used to see him wore. 

“It helps you know… in a way it’s kinda my escapism from who I am.” 

The man’s gaze now fixed on you, making you a bit skittish. His eyes were always so intense. 

“I don’t really like who I’ve become and it’s good to have something to remind you that your old self is still there… somewhere.” You continued. 

“How did you even end up here?”

Your eyes widened for a second. You didn’t expect him to ask you. 

“My father left me with a debt. I was about to get collected, but I somehow managed to land a punch on and knocked one tooth one of the three guys who came… Apparently they were amazed by that.” You leaned back on the sofa and continued. “It’s Mr. Lee.” You chuckled. 

“You punched Mr. Lee?! He eyed you with an astonished look. “How old were you? That’s impressive.”

“Nineteen.” You sighed. “But, aren’t you glad? We wouldn’t meet otherwise.” You hit him with your elbow playfully.

He just stared at your wall. Maybe he wondered if it was really a good thing, you being here and all. 

“How about you?” You asked, making him move his eyes back to your direction. 

“I was fifteen when my parents sold me.”

You gasped. “They— they sold you?” 

“Yeah.” He said nonchalantly, as if it was the most normal thing. “I wasn’t exactly a good kid and my parents were stuck with debts left and right. It’s also how I got this…” He pointed at the scar on his eye. “I was resisting.”

“You were so young…” You looked at him, sympathizing. 

“I was one of the first batch of trained guard dogs. They realized if they need obedient slaves, they’re gonna have to start young.”

“Did you even finished school?”

“Nope. But they we were occasionally given private lessons just so we don’t turn out as a bunch of muscles with no thoughts.”

You wondered the horror he had to go through. You were lucky enough Mr. Lee, one of your seniors, ended up being somewhat of a parental figure for you. Being a woman in this petrifying world, you could imagine what could easily happen to you on your early days. 

“It must have been so hard for you…” You cooed. 

“You went through the same thing.” 

“Yeah but the place used to be way worse…”

You wanted to continue speaking, mentioning how the knowledge of his parents selling him away must had fucked with his mind so badly. How he shouldn’t had said all those horrid things with the calmest expression ever. It must had been so lonely for him. You did not feel like you had the right to say more though. 

“Agust…”

“Yeah?”

“If you ever feel like something’s troubling you, I’m all ears. We’re partners, it’s the least I could do.” You smiled. “You hear me?”

 “Yoongi.”

Your brain suddenly fogged. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Min Yoongi.” He repeated. “It’s my name.”

Guard dogs weren’t supposed to share and know each other’s name. It was all for safety purposes and to keep things strictly professional between everyone. In the span of more than three years of working with him, he barely even called you by your codename. So why suddenly..?

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand…” You stopped, barely processing things.

“I thought you might as well know about it. You might see me die one day.” He said with a stoic face. 

“Don’t fucking say that.”

“It’s the truth.” 

You out of all people knew. 

You told him to get some more rest on your bed, your mission wasn’t up until later at night after all so you got plenty of time. 

Min Yoongi. It was just a name. You wondered why did it sound so delicate coming out from his lips, like it was the most vulnerable thing he had ever shared. Probably because it was. 

Later that evening, both of you set out to the main lair to get ready. Ate some food and got dressed in some club appropriate outfit. With your trusted pistol and knife hidden on a holster, you were ready to go. 

Today’s tasks were simple. Blend in with the crowd, locate the target, and lure him to the designated room where the negotiator would be waiting. 

Club Brooklyn. 

The neon sign was big enough to lit a whole forest. And you were told to be discreet? You wondered how much did they had to bribe the police to shut them up every single time. Because for a place filled with illegal festivities, it sure looked pretty flashy. 

Both of you were already at the parking lot, waiting for a signal to enter the premise. You look to the passenger seat, seeing your partner with a bruise that was still faintly visible on his jaw. 

“Hey, let me put some more concealer on you.” 

“It’s not gonna be obvious with all the colorful lights anyway.” He complained.  

“You could be talking to someone at the restroom?” You argued. 

He sighed in defeat. “Hurry.” 

You grinned, satisfied. “Come here.” 

He inched closer, but his eyes were looking at somewhere behind you. Carefully, you put a finger on his jaw, while your other hand tapping the product lightly on his skin. You had always known how good his skin looked, but you didn’t know it looked this good up close. It was unfair. You bet he showered with a 3-in-1 soap. 

You were surprised he stayed put the whole time. You still remembered how he swatted your hand when you first met him. Yikes. Guessed he got used to being with you over time. 

“Why? Is there something wrong?” He asked when you kept staring at his face. 

“Just admiring. You look great!” You grinned cheekily. “I’m trying to put my finger on why I feel like something’s off…” You tapped your chin comically. 

“What is it.” He said with a stoic voice. 

“I prefer you with your scars better. Makeup makes you look generic.” 

When you finally let go and put away the small concealer bottle, your eyes met for a second, but you were quick to break the stare. 

And then your phone beeped, alerting the signal. It was time to go. 

“Ag— Yoongi.”

His hand was still on the door knob, but the man turned his head to you.

“This might seem dramatic, and today is just an easy gig for us, but uh… I want you to know my name as well.” You smiled, unaware of how your cheeks had grown a light shade of pink. “Because I trust you.”

There was no major reaction coming from him as you spelled out your full name, but you could feel his gaze softened he held down a smile when you giggled sheepishly after. 

“Target on three o’clock.” You whispered to your earring-slash-earpiece. 

Slowly, you moved through the crowd. Pretending to have fun, you had a glass of on your hand as you did. On the other side, Yoongi was aiming for the owner’s bodyguards, looking for a way to stir their attention away. 

“Agust, Violet, big guy is moving to the bar area.” You heard the monitor man spoke from the earpiece. 

Your attention shifted to the drink in your hand and then to the shimmery dress you wore. An idea popped up in your head. 

“I’ll distract the guards. Agust, go and try to make a deal with the man.”

There were two bodyguards of the pimp, and you needed to distract the one that watched the VIP room door. Agust would slide in to convince him he was a potential client, then lure him to the room with your people waiting inside. 

Swiftly, you move across the sea of people, trying your best to not seem suspicious. You started casually moving your body, swaying your hips to the music, slowly moving towards the direction of the guard.

And then boom. Naturally, you made it all seemed like an accident as you spilled your drink all over yourself and some onto the bodyguard. 

“Oh my gosh!” You whined, trying your best to sound convincing. “I’m so sorry, I’ve been drinking too much.” You eyed the tall man with slanted eyes, giggling. “Do you want me to help you clean it up?”

“I can’t lady, I’m doing my job here.” The big man said. A sigh escaped his mouth as he looked down at his cocktail stained suit. 

“Come on… I’ll help you out.” You winked. 

The man peered over his shoulder, possibly looking for the sight of his boss. You sneaked a look too and saw your partner from afar, talking to a woman in gold silk dress. You couldn’t clearly see who the person was, but it happened so quickly. Suddenly, you saw him pulling her in for a deep kiss. 

For a split second you almost drop everything and run straight at him, but you were a fully trained dog. Instead, you pulled the bodyguard in front of you by his tie, dragging him away. 

You pressed a button on your earpiece to send a signal, letting your team know you had done your part. You were still dragging the big built man by the tie, but your mind wandered away. Your partner still had not rang his signal. 

Suddenly, your arm was yanked in a harsh force. You turned and saw a wicked grin plastered on the bodyguard’s face as he switched things, with him now dragging you instead. 

“Could you maybe stop pulling my arm like that?!” You yelled. 

“Don’t act like you didn’t just ask for this.”

Disgusting. You thought. “I was just trying to help you clean your clothes.”

“And we all know what that means.” The tone of his voice made you feel sick. 

The man was still tugging on your arm until he stopped in front of a janitors room. He shooed the janitor away just by a quick glance. 

Sensing danger, you yanked your arm off, but a punch landed on your face. It happened so quick that your reflexes missed it. You quickly got up but the man had locked the door by the time you did. 

Up until this point, there was still no signal coming from your partner. Talking and revealing your location through your earpiece would make the guy run to his boss in a jiffy, you could not risk that. You couldn’t believe you had to actually fight a pervert while your partner was out there tonguing some random woman. 

It was not until a few minutes later when you finally heard the alert sound from your earpiece. You immediately mentioned janitor’s room to your earpiece. The man’s eyes lit up, coming to a realization. He quickly ran to the door, but you beat him to it, kicking his hand away from the knob. 

“I should’ve known!” The man spat out. 

“I know, it’s almost as unbelievable as the thought of someone actually wanting to have sex with you.” 

“You slut.” 

He tried to land a low kick, but you quickly dodged it. One of the advantages of having a smaller frame. You might had lower power, but you had better stamina and speed. His punches made quite the impact though, you might need your partner to make haste and come faster because you could not keep eluding the attacks. 

Three minutes. Your partner took three minutes before showing up, opening the door with the key you figured he managed to snatch from one of the janitors. As soon as the door swung open, both of your eyes met for one second, then yours went to the lipstick stain on the corner of his lips, while his went to the damp dress clinging on your body. Seconds later you were pulled by your wrist and in a flash, the door was locked behind you, leaving the giant man inside. 

The drive back to the hideout was oddly quiet. You didn’t protest when Yoongi took over the driver seat, instead of fighting with him before with the argument of his swollen foot. He didn’t say anything either and just drove normally without any verbal complaints. The whole ride you busied yourself looking at the window, watching the vehicles passing by. You didn’t know why you were suddenly feeling so irritated. 

“Violet, did he hurt you?”

Yoongi voiced out as soon as the car was parked. You were too out of your head to notice, so he spoke again, this time calling out your actual name. 

You turned to him, still unable to utter a word. How did he make your name sounded so intimidating coming from his lips was beyond you. 

“Did he hurt you?” He repeated. 

“No.” You shook your head. 

He took off his outer and placed it on your lap. “Vante might be ogling at you.” 

Then he left the car before you could say anything back. 

The audacity of a man. First of all, you and Vante were just friends, and as far as you knew, he had never viewed you in any sexual manner whatsoever. Secondly, had he looked at himself in the mirror? The reddish lipstick stain was still very visible on his face, it was making you want to punch him in his beautiful features so badly.

But you did not say a word back. Instead, you just reported as usual, returned your gear, changed, and headed back to your place. 

**

“You need to relax.” 

You pretended you didn’t just hear the words coming out from another fellow dog who was training next to you. You kept throwing heavy punches at the boxing bag, secretly imagining it was your partner’s face instead. 

“Girl, what’s wrong?” The woman pulled you away lightly from the speed bag. 

You sighed and took off the gloves from your hand. “I’m just in a very bad mood.”

“For no reason?” 

“Oh, there’s a reason alright.” You rolled your eyes and proceeded to walk towards the lounge. 

“Why? Did you get scolded by Mr. Lee?” She asked, following you from behind. 

“No, it’s not Mr. Lee.” You breathed out a long sigh and took an empty seat. “It’s Agust.”

“You had a fight?” She exclaimed almost too loudly, making you hushed her immediately. “Sorry, I mean… I’ve always words of how in sync you guys are.”

“It’s probably nothing… To be honest I’m not quite sure why I’m this bothered.” 

“What happened?” She asked while taking two cups of fresh water, handing one to you. 

“I saw him kissing some random woman in the club during our gig.” You flinched lightly at the flashback coming through your mind. 

“Oh my god…” She scoffed in amusement. “Are you serious? You’re jealous.”

“What?! The fuck are you talking about??? We were in the middle of work! Was that really a good timing to do that???” You replied defensively. 

“Exactly, what if it was necessary…” She folded her arms and smirked at you. “Have you thought about that?”

You stopped and thought to yourself. That really did not cross your mind. What if he did that to distract someone? Or to convince the target? Why did you get so affected by something that was probably nothing?

“So you are jealous then.” She spoke upon seeing you lost in your own thoughts. 

“I’m not… stop it.” You groaned. “Maybe I just didn’t expect him to be able to do something like that.”

“Like what?! You think he can’t kiss??? Violet, he’s a fully grown adult!” She laughed. “Have you told him?”

“There’s no way I’m telling him.” You cringed. 

“Why not? You need to sort it out or else it will affect your work flow.” 

“How in the fresh hell am I supposed to tell him?” You looked at the woman in front of you with defeated expression. 

“You could tell him that you feel bothered by what you saw and be all professional about it.” She shrugged. “Or… you could tell him the truth? Tell him you’re jealous. See how it goes.” 

“You can’t be serious…”

“Just admit it.” She rolled her eyes, giggling. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“He looks at everyone and everything with a blank stare.”

“Not at you though.” She smirked. 

“If you’re just hyping me up for nothing, I swea—“ You suddenly froze. 

Your co-worker gasped in excitement. “You just admitted that you like him.” She squealed. “Just tell him! Let me know how it goes.”

You went back to your apartment unit that day with questions lingering on your mind. 

So you did just had a mini revelation on your feelings. You fancied Yoongi, but what now? Sure you saw him kissing someone, and damn he seemed to be good at it too, but what about romantic feelings? You were not even sure if he was capable of something like that. You were used to being firmly business with him for years so it would feel bizarre to admit something like this. 

Am I even allowed to feel this way?

**

Weeks passed and the words were still unspoken. You figured it would go away if you chose to ignore it, but you were mistaken. Because now you noticed every small details in the things he did. Your heart beat faster when he covered for you. All the usual things he would normally do as your partner, suddenly felt totally different. 

Today, both of you just came back from a pickup gig. You were exhausted and your right hand was hurt. You had to avoid a knife attack and it sliced your palm instead. You were sitting down on an empty bed at the infirmary, struggling to open a water bottle. 

“You good?”

You looked up and saw your partner approaching. This really was not the time, you were pretty worn out already. 

“Don’t worry.”

“You can’t even open that bottle.” He snatched the drink from your hands, opened it and gave it back to you. 

You took the bottle and uttered a small thanks. 

He went to sit next to you, making a comfortable space in between the two of you on the bed.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong? It’s been weeks.”

Of course he noticed. 

“It’s just something stupid, I don’t even know what to tell you.” You stared down at your feet hanging above the floor. 

“It’s not stupid if it bothers you this much.”

How did he always manage to say all the right things with the most straight face?

“Look, I don’t think it’s a good time to talk about it now.” 

“Then when is it? I’ll wait.”

The way he looked at you made your heart sank to your stomach. 

You took a deep breath, bracing yourself. “Promise me, no matter what I say to you, don’t let it affect work.”

He only nodded, waiting for you to say your piece patiently. 

“I was… jealous. I think.” You hesitantly said. You flinched just seconds later on how nervous you were feeling. 

“What do you mean?” He asked with neutral voice. 

“Back at Club Brooklyn. You kissed some random woman and I can’t keep that image out from my head. It’s driving me nuts.” You sighed in frustration. “And you did that just right after you spent the night at my place, I thought that at least—“ You stopped yourself, realizing you had said too much. “I’m sorry, it just bothers me so much. I don’t even know why you did that…”

“Hold on.” He said firmly, grabbing your shoulder as he did. “You saw that?”

“Of course I did! Must be nice smooching with some beautiful lady while your partner was busy fighting off a literal pervert.” You protested. 

“I did that to convince our target. She’s a prostitute, I told the guy I was gonna rent her.” 

“That’s the thing! I figured you could just be doing it for work too, but you were doing it for a hot minute and I—“ I stopped myself again. “It doesn’t matter anyway, this is stupid.” You slumped down and covered your face with your hands. “Now that you know, can you leave me alone for a second? The embarrassment is killing me.”

“Still can’t believe you were getting all jealous.”

Yoongi couldn't help but smirk at the sight of you looking up at him, unable to look away. Without hesitation, he moved closer, pulled you by the back of your neck, as he closed the distance between you two. 

Despite the slight chapped texture, his lips felt soft against yours. You eagerly returned the kiss, deepening it. When you broke away, his smirk was now gone, replaced by a soft smile. 

“Did you just— You just kissed me.” You said, dumbfounded. 

“And so did you.” 

“If you’re making fun of me, it’s not funny.” You said, pushing him off lightly. Your cheeks started to heat up as you did.

“You’re not gonna make fun of me back?”

“What are you even talking about?”

“I literally lost all my brain function when I saw your dress being drenched that night.” He admitted. “Couldn’t talk to you without looking at how the dress was hugging your body. I took the driver’s seat just so I can look at the road instead of you.” He sighed. “Damn, my foot was still hurting too at that time.”

“Wait…” You put your palms in the air. “So are you like, serious? This isn’t some kind of joke, right?”

“Since when do I joke like this?!” The man looked at you in disbelief. 

“Right.”

“Right.”

“So like, what are we gonna do… about this?” You said, pointing at him and back to yourself. “Do you even like…”

“I told you my name, it should be obvious.”

You had never seen him appearing so sincere, it was making you nervous. 

“I… My whole life I’ve only known fight and survive. Never really had much luck in high school either, I wasn’t popular surprise surprise.”You rolled your eyes, trying to make a light joke. “I don’t really know what to do when it comes to, well, my feelings.”

“So do I.” He said calmly. “But I still want you, despite going on fully blind.”

“I want to remind you that I’m not—“

“If you’re gonna talk down on yourself again, I’m not having it.” 

Your cheeks flushed again. “We have a lot to catch up to. I barely know what you like, I don’t even know your favorite food??? What’s even your favorite color—“

“Hey,” He called, hand resting on your back pulling you slightly to his direction. “No pressure. We’ll go with the flow and see how it goes.”

You sighed. “You sure?”

“You’ve asked me that multiple times already.” He chuckled. “Yes, I am.”

“Can you kiss me again just to make sure?”

Yoongi halted back for a second, seemingly taken aback by your boldness. He let out a soft laugh, one that sounded like music to your ears, before pulling you back in. 

To where you belonged. 

Thank you for reading! ✒