progress

now tell me why do i wanna crrrrry

now tell me why do i wanna crrrrry

me: what

i finally answered your calls, you sounded worried and in need of a friend you drove me to your pool and asked me to get in the offer of cocaine was there on the table, i told you because of my crash that day my mind wasn't too stable i got back in your car after you did a line, some minutes past and i started feeling comfortable and said i no longer mind it didn't take long for me to lose feeling in my face, i asked for you to drop me off but you took me to your place it was a platonic hang out i insisted, letting you know my boundaries but you grabbed my throat and put your hands around me as if my words had never existed my face was turning red as i was losing my breath, i try reaching for your hands as you grab for my breasts i told you i felt we had a friendly connection, but i didn't want it to go into an intimate direction my "no's" were quiet and with your roommate in the next room, you told me to be silent the request was that clothing stayed on and you do not kiss my lips, although you were persistent and strong, i couldn't pull my shorts back up towards my hips you told me to shut up and asked me who said i could speak, i would carry a blank stare as i looked for ways to breathe you said my body was like art, a beautiful photograph, that you couldn't wait to tear apart pictures were taken without my permission, but i think seeing me struggle gave you even more ambition my wrists were held down as you choked me with all the strength in your hands, after i started smiling you stopped your demands you said you'd take me home and our last encounter should be this, delete my number and info so you couldn't reminisce i was bruised, tired, and confused with the whole situation, but the short drive home i didn't ask for any explanation you said that this goodbye was going to be our last time you called me 5 five minutes later to say you forgot the wine i told myself to just keep thinking "interesting" rather than viewing it as assault, i did decide to come into your home and only whisper "no" so i feel as it's my fault