Dude🪩

level 1

5miinust x puuluup

self explanatory, they went to eurovision and made an album together :)

roheline lays censorship

the original lyrics to their esc song included the line "ainus kott, mis laual, on roheline lay's" (the only bag on the table is green lay's); as this featured a brand name it had to be replaced. they did a whole series of videos where they workshopped this line to come up with its replacement. they still don't sing the original line in live performances 2 years later. #bringbackrohelinelays

erootikapood

as more people got into them from esc it became a sort of rite of passage to then go listen to their most iconic song, erootikapood (sex shop) and also read an accompanying translation. to the shock and horror of the weaker willed amongst us, apparently

kohver esc 2025 spokesperson

kohver announced the jury points from estonia during esc 2025, in which he looked like he just woke up, bungled one of his only lines and made a point of speaking some german to the hosts, because he's whatever the german equivalent of a weeaboo is

eesti laul 2024 semi performance

this was the last eesti laul to have semi-finals. eesti laul is also known for being kind of shit, in the sense of relatively poor staging and camera usage throughout performances. in the years without the semi-finals, this had led to an all-around sense of ill preparation and subpar live finals. in a year with a semi-final it led to whatever this performance was. almost none of the staging elements seen in the final version are there, the opening shot is literally this:

????? it's a shitshow and it's really really funny. hilariously this is possibly the only performance i've heard of this song ever where päevakoer actually sings his part in tune the whole way through and somehow comes across as the most competent of the 5miinust guys here. he never used this power again

level 2

venelane

venelane (meaning 'the russian', later gameboy tetris in his solo career) was the previous 5th member of 5miinust. initially absent from their first few songs, they met him at a recording session and realised he worked well as their chorus guy, which he became for many years. he left the band in 2023 due to personal and creative differences and remained a solo artist until his tragic death this year. as a non-native estonian speaker some of his grammar and pronunciation could be a bit fucky, which was part of what made his contributions so special <3

rämmar

rämmar is 5miinust's brand - the term originated from when kohver and päevakoer were being annoying and playing music in the early hours of the morning and korea angrily told them to "clean up all this rämmar" and it stuck as their Thing. there's a rämmar board game. rämmar snus. rämmar burger. it's on all their merch. they have an album called rämmar. you walk around estonia and see rämmar stickers on lamp posts. they do rämmar dj events. see tuleb rämmar.

triibupasta

referred to by many as the new 5miinust, in that it's a band of 2/3 sunglasses-wearing, pseudonym-having individuals who make party music with socially unacceptable lyrics about having lots of sex mostly. they're amazing and you should listen to them. one of them is a fucked up kohver clone

kurvad uudised

meaning 'sad news', this is the record label kohver and lancelot co-founded. they distribute music for artists such as triibupasta and kermo murel who are all in the 5miinust lineage so to speak. they also have an online store where they sell 5m merch among their other artists'

eesti laul 2025

5miinust and puuluup performed in the opening act for eesti laul 2025, in which 5m dressed like a mushroom, a tree, a flower, and i think a bush (?). "then a great old forest wizard appears on a bike and makes everyone do pilates for some reason" - päevakoer 5miinust

museum exhibit

in 2026 to coincide with their 10 year anniversary concert in tartu, the eesti rahva muuseum opened a free exhibit on 5miinust's history, containing old photographs, awards, stage costumes, random items from their history, and even their old minivan. i went and documented my findings here :3

jalkalebo

a long-running youtube series in which kohver and lancelot play fifa, talk, and eat takeout with various guests and friends from different fields. it has been hosted by various betting site sponsors, previously by unibet and currently by coolbet. the unibet era episodes were famed (possibly only by me) for taking place on this one grey couch and for kohver usually wearing the same pair of shorts that were not made for tv. they also sometimes do live action jalkalebo-related adventures to attend football events in various locations. they're posting videos from rwanda right now.

level 3

pitsa

kohver's other band, previously considered a one and done boyband after releasing one album in 2021, but was resurrected with their second album arbooze this year. both albums are highly recommended, and feature the talents of boipepperoni (member of triibupasta and all around musical prodigy) and rapper/5miinust collaborator/really tall guy reket. their name actually inspired triibupasta's (they were going to be just pasta at first)

masterchef eesti

in 2024 kohver participated in estonian celebrity masterchef and won. what

5miinust vs væb

eurovision youtuber/journalist/analyst escgabe has had a long friendship with 5miinust since becoming dangerously obsessed with their entry, impressing them by pronouncing its title so well that they gave him free tickets to an upcoming concert, and interviewing them again in malmö. In 2025 he established a similar friendship with the terminally-online vaeb from iceland. when running a charity livestream for the ukraine freedom fund, he pitted two duos of funny sunglasses men against each other in a eurovision trivia quiz, and somehow kohver and päevakoer were the winners

5miinust comic

in 2021 5miinust released an ep called kõik on süüdi, which ties in (is literally bundled with) the comic suur süü veeretamine kriitilisel ajal. it essentially retells an incident from each of their perspectives, with a different artist illustrating each version, and it is incredibly cute and silly. they each have comic book versions of themselves (who can also be seen represented in the music videos for each of the songs) (please watch the koptereid mv i'm begging you) and korea is a really scrunkly vampire. what are you waiting for. you can buy it from kurvad uudised's store right now.

rämmar halloween

a very powerful and legendary promo for a halloween rämmar event, in which kohver and päevakoer are among a group of men who all decide to dress as estonian pop star liis lemsalu for halloween while she watches in horror. kohver's look is a complete serve and has given me debilitating brainworms for the past 2 years

kruvib või ei kruvi

an online music series where artists give their verdict on recent (or thematic) songs. kohver and päevakoer feature in two episodes

level 4

su nägu kõlab tuttavalt

estonian version of your face sounds familiar, in which musicians impersonate other artists and are judged on their performance. kohver participated and levelled up his liis lemsalu cosplay, in addition to wearing fake boobs as kylie minogue and giving a trainwreck performance of an-marlen's külm (eesti laul 2025). he was also extremely naked at one point. also he doesn't wear sunglasses! scary

krulli kvartal

an old warehouse in tallinn where the videos for (nendest) and kõrvetab were filmed. was (still is?) publicly accessible as of late 2024. was too scared to go and find out when i was in tallinn

pikem sõprus ads

5miinust once did promo for pikema sõpruse päev, meaning 'longer friendship day', which encourages men to get their health checked. these ads depict scenes of the members of 5miinust participating in various outdoor activities together, only to be disheartened at the realisation that their beloved friend is no longer of this earth. something about the juxtaposition of 5miinust being portrayed as outdoorsmen and also one of them being a ghost is just really inherently funny I'm really sorry. also a sad piano version of their song jäätis plays and it kills me every time.

me when I'm sad because kohver 5miinust is fucking DEAD

lancelot sales company

lancelot runs a sales company in his (plentiful) spare time and recently advertised a vacancy on his instagram story. for some reason

jalkalebo bins

in 2024 there were bins in tallinn with kohver and lancelot on them advertising the unibet sports bar. they were among the top 5 tourist destinations for 5miinust fans at this time. sadly i did not get to go and see them

alyona alyona collab

they once posted stories from a studio session with ukraine 2024's alyona alyona. nothing ever came of this and it feels like a mass gaslighting event

level 5

lancelot broken toe

lancelot smashed his toe into a table at home before he left for malmö. the developing story of his toe injury was on the estonian news during eurovision week. in related news the airline had briefly lost the luggage that had puuluup's shoes in it at this time.

padjaklubi

padjaklubi is an estonian comedy series where, as i understand it, 4 women get into various situational hijinks. in season 14 they all get a job in an office working for a sleazy and secretly criminal boss. he is played by kohver. i never finished watching this before it got put behind a paywall and i am so sad

eesti laul 2026 reaction stream

kohver and lancelot livestreamed their reactions to eesti laul this year on the coolbet youtube account (where jalkalebo is hosted) and showed maybe 2 emotions during the entire thing. even when korea was on screen as host. smh. kohver pulled out a gun at one point ?

lancelot food poisoning

lancelot had to skip performing at a eurovision preparty in spain because he got food poisoning. kohver was on instagram spreading rumours that it was because he was pregnant ????

tavastia interview

5miinust were interviewed for finnish radio before their concert in helsinki in august 2024 (second greatest night of my life btw). this english language interview is complete fucking chaos and contains such asides as kohver vehemently insisting they will never play in leeds and that he will turn into action bronson in 2 years. he's such an asshole in this and everyone just bullies him for it it's amazing. they accuse him of writing all the ai songs in the world. päevakoer will come to leeds :)

kohver + lancelot on english football twitter

as part of a jalkalebo excursion, kohver and lancelot went to liverpool to learn about the city and its two football clubs. they also brought a big sign and a clipboard to take signatures for a petition to make ex-liverpool player ragnar klavan (an estonian) president of the estonian football association. we only learned this (paywalled!) context after some random english guy posted a picture of them with said sign and clipboard outside the stadium on twitter, to the confusion of literally everybody

level 6

youtube houseparty music

they used to describe themselves at not so much making real music, just stuff you put on from youtube in the background at a houseparty

jaanid

an older song of theirs themed around midsummer (jaanipäev) that got taken down for reasons unknown to me. can someone help me solve the jaanid mystery. what did this banger do wrong. i don't know enough estonian to decipher the lyrics.

korea's google drive

there's a publicly accessible document from 5miinust's management for venues, with information on how much and what kinds of alcohol they require among other things. this document links to a google drive of backing tracks for live performances under korea's real name, which does get infrequent updates whenever they have a new song to perform

sass henno + deleted music videos

5miinust used to do a lot of music with sass henno, a writer and rapper who they purposefully distanced themselves from in 2019 when kohver and korea basically threw him out for bringing teenage girls to a nightclub and generally just being a creep. some very serious allegations came out about him in 2025 and as a result they took down their songs from youtube featuring him. these included the music videos for aitäh and jõul. they did mention reuploading versions of their songs without his features but this has not come to pass. i think the aitäh music video is really special despite his inclusion, you can watch it here

level 7

kohver grand final stomach issues liveblog

during the afternoon of the eurovision 2024 grand final, kohver, the only threads user in the entire world, treated us all to his deepest thoughts during this time, including: "lost my singing ability an hour ago", "i've got diarrhoea, wtf", "now i'm constipated, sabotage" and "i want to go home"

uglydolls estonian dub

the animated movie uglydolls received an estonian dub where pitbull's character is voiced by korea, the real life estonian mr worldwide. one day i will watch this and report back with my thoughts.

615.

korea's old rap group from before 5miinust. and i mean old. i mean this band started in 2006. his stage name was kraff. words don't even cover this thing just go have fun