Ducky Fruitbat

For the assimilationists, you've probably got a couple of examples in your head. Chances are, we're both thinking of the same person. For a holotype specimen, let's turn towards Dave Rubin. He's convenient for two reasons: number 1, he's gay, and number 2, he used to identify with the left on several issues, even being on TYT for years before moving on to the Daily Wire. He was also a failed comedian, thus upholding the failed comedian-to-right-wing-host pipeline. Except, he doesn't seem to actually believe in anything unless it pays his rent. Right now, what pays his rent is being a doormat to conservatives, and it is a lucrative gig too. It also means that he is a complete laughing stock to everyone. Left, right, and center. I don't think his audience even cares about him. I say that because they called him abusive for deciding to be a dad while married to his husband. Something something not Adam and Steve. The public opinion was put into the spotlight when Rubin went onto the Jubilee 20 v. 1 debate show and got his bussy ripped apart with facts and logic. A lot of people don't even think he came prepared. At most, he had one topic card of talking points that didn't even fill it up. It was kinda sad, really. Watching this man sell out everything he had, and all his hopes and dreams, to people that hate him. Luckily for him, they cut him a fat check.

Milo Yiannopoulos is another one of these pick-me's, but he currently identifies as an ex gay. Not actually sure if he believes anything he says, though. He was always a grifter and was involved with GamerGate, because of course he was. Even made a big show of turning straight when he threw his engagement ring off of a boat. Now I wonder a lot about his ex-fiancée, because they went from wedding planning to being roommates. Then again, he did get engaged to a right-wing grifter, so he's already got some issues to work through. I also have to wonder: are they actually exes, because being ex gay is not easy, or even in any way effective to anyone who believes it. This is absolutely what Dave Rubin's audience wants to see more of. Just leave the gay lifestyle behind, and you'll be the perfect gay friend.

One more pick-me, this time from the Stonewall era. Fred Sargent is a police officer who joined the NYPD AFTER Stonewall. He was also ex-gay at that point, switching after the riot. He reportedly told his then-boyfriend to shut up when things were heating up. He has gained fame recently, long after he became ex-ex-gay and gained fame as a "Stonewall veteran". He is very much anti-trans. He started spreading a myth that is damaging the trans community. The idea that Marsha P. Johnson was just a cis male drag queen. The obvious problem is that she stated that she identified as a woman. Sure, she used different words, but she was even planning to medically transition in Switzerland, but had to give that up when the costs were just too much. This man is very much an assimilationist who questions the need for Pride Month and parrots the idea of "drop the T".

The game quickly establishes that it has an unreliable narrator hook going on. The whole story is told to us by Captain Qwark. The washed-up Buck Rodgers type, who is incredibly self-centered, and in the last game I played, he often stole all the credit.

In this game, he is not quite washed up yet, but he's still more concerned about his image than anything. He's an active member of the Galactic Rangers, a team of space heroes who keep peace in the galaxy. Ratchet wants to join them.

The story kinda follows the original game. Although it is more of a combination of the first and third games. Drek is building a new planet for the Blarg as part of a get-rich-quick scheme. However, this time he is joined by Dr. Nefarious, who provided the warbots this time around. Clank gets to Ratchet in a similar way to the original. Ratchet is a mechanic on Veldin who is launched into the adventure with a home-built rocket. The only difference now is that Ratchet works for an older, gruff mechanic. A fair change.

Gameplay-wise, it is pretty close to the original. The controls are easy enough to grasp. The variety of weapons is fun. Mr. Zircon is my favorite, surpassing even my beloved Agents of Doom. The upgrading system is like what we see from Going Commando and onwards. There is a secondary upgrading system that involves spending raritarium, but I'm not sure if it actually did anything. There are fewer planets here than in the original. I don't know what happened there; maybe there was a time crunch.

Character-wise, I have a few nitpicks to get out of the way. Qwark's betrayal in the original made sense because it was shown pretty early on that he was working with Drek the whole time. Here, he bails on the Rangers mid-mission to negotiate his betrayal, and then has regrets when the planet-destroying team he joins destroys a planet. Gotta say, Qwark here isn't really gripping me like the old one did. At least he had to assume a fake identity after he was fired.

Another character that gets me is Drek. Good god, they did Drek dirty here. In the original game, Drek was intimidating because he had enough power to do whatever he wanted, and was often the most competent person in the room. Also, with a voice that made him sound at least 15 feet tall. In this game, he's still got the power, but is put lower than Dr. Nafarious, who is squishy for some reason. Drek gets nerfed so hard by one of the joke weapons. Damn Drek, they took your voice and then your dignity. At least the original fell on his own sword -er laser.

A big thing that happens in the story is the destruction of Novalis. In the original, this is all happening around Ratchet and Clank as they are trying to catch up and stop Drek. For some reason, Ratchet blames himself for the planet's destruction for like two minutes before jumping back in. It was presented like his lowest moment, but like, and I'm going to compare it to the original again, the old Ratchet would blame Drek and Qwark, and it would have lit a fire under him to break that laser down piece by piece.

Now we get into the nostalgia bait fan service parts. It's mostly with recurring characters. Two examples are the plumber and Big Al. They did stick with the recurring joke about the plumber knowing about the next games by hinting at the next reboot. When we first see him, the music makes it clear that "hey, it's that one guy, remember him?" Yes, game, I remember him. I still have the original. The plumber is also not sassing Ratchet for being a wise guy, or even as playful banter. Same thing with Big Al. These two characters, and Helga, really like to get sassy with Ratchet, but here they are more jolly than anything. Except for Helga, she's not in this game. Damn, I really liked her, and her romance with Al.

Asexual and aromantic is often conflated but they are different. Simplest explanation is that asexual means no sexual attraction, and aromantic means no romantic attraction. It is entirely possibly to be the most lustful person in any given room without the desire for anything too romantic, like premarital hand holding.

As far as asexual rep goes, some pretty famous characters can be described as simply vibing.

Going all the way back to ancient Greece, we find the Goddess of the hunt, Artemis. One of the maiden goddesses and part of her story is that she has no interest in romance or sex of any kind. It wasn't until the Renaissance that artists started portraying her with Orion. A giant who would join in on her hunts and overall great archery buddy. However, they were just that, a couple of hunting buddies. Bows before hoes.

Jughead from the Archie franchise is one of the most famous asexual characters. His one and only love is a good burger. He's perfectly content, and later on in the series, the writers finally learned that asexuality was a thing and realized, "Oh heck, that's just Jughead!"

In more recent times, there's Alister from Hazbin Hotel. He doesn't know there's even a word to describe him. Rosie does and even uses it to describe him. Al doesn't really care about romance and much prefers the thrill of the most dangerous game. He's also like Jughead in that he's more interested in a good meal. The main difference being if the meal had a personality or not.

Continuing on with the list, we've got one of the most recognizable characters of the 21st century. Spongebob. He really does emphasize the just vibing part. He just enjoys his job, friends, hobbies, and lives a fulfilling life without a care in the world. He was never shown with a love interest, except for that patty, and he doesn't mind at all.

It's honestly hard to find bad Ace rep. The only example I can think of is that one episode of House I alluded to in the intersex post I did.

I do have to wonder how many aromantic asexuals took celebicy pledges for religious reasons and thought, "damn, this is easy, why is it even a requirement?" I mean, that's how my ace friend felt about chastity when their church encouraged members to take that pledge.

So what does it mean to be intersex? Intersex refers to when someone is born with physical characteristics of both male and female. This comes about because biology and development are messy. Looking at diagrams of genitals, you can see how they are cut from the same cloth. In fact, in development, all embryos start out as female, and if the right genes are activated, they can become male. That is a fact that I learned about from my high school biology teacher. She didn't use the word intersex, but she laid the groundwork for her class to understand it. Something else about being intersex, you can live your whole life being intersex. Some traits that one can develop can be so subtle that the person in question won't notice them until a doctor points them out. One way this can happen is if your chromosomes don't line up with your assigned sex. Whether it be a woman with XY chromosomes or a man with XX chromosomes, all while identifying as cis.

There is also, unfortunately, a way that intersex people are oppressed. In some states the doctor is required to "correct" the genitals of a newborn. Yes this is genital mutilation and it does more harm than good. These are often called "sex normalising". Often doctors pressure the parents into getting them done to avoid being stigmatized. An idea that makes me wonder if these doctors have heard of pants and underwear.

These surgeries also have cases of creating identity issues later down the road, where someone is "corrected" to be one gender, but identifies with another. This is one of those cases where assigned gender at birth has its most literal meaning. There is also the danger of losing feeling in the genitals as it's part of the risk of the surgery, along with fertility issues. This is why there's a push where, unless medical intervention is absolutely necessary, it needs to be left up to the person in question. There are also times when those same people come out years later as trans and find out that the surgeries they had as infants.

With all that preamble out of the way, let's get into media examples of intersex rep.

One example you might have heard about is Liane Cartman from South Park, who was originally... revealed to be Eric's mom and dad... hmmm...

Next one off the top of my head was Peter Griffin's brister...a gag character...who left Peter sexually confused in a one-off joke...

Looks like I gotta go beyond what I know here. Fandom.com is no help as it is listing non-binary and transgender characters on the intersex list. There is Ryu Asuka from Devilman Crybaby...a fallen angel...I guess that counts. There's Stevonnie from Steven Universe, a fusion character who I'm reluctant to include on this list because they are two people.

Ok, so I've been going through some lists, and a lot of them are of obscure characters in obscure franchises. Some of them include self-published web comics and novels. I did find a character named Alex from the TV medical drama House. Considering the show's history with subjects like this, *cough cough asexual episode cough*, I'm already skeptical before reading the episode summary. He apparently starts making creepy remarks to the girl in question. It is really uncomfortable.

Well, the media has failed me once more. Couldn't get a full-time job and can't find a good intersex character. How about digging through the historical records? Intersex people have been acknowledged all throughout history. In Sumerian and Greek legends, there are intersex people mixed in with the pantheons. In ancient Rome, Pliny even wrote about them and dropped the word androgyni. In Sicily, Diodorus wrote of two intersex people, Diophantus of Abae and Callon of Epidaurus. Callon was even recorded as having the first gender affirming surgery in the 2nd century BC. In the Middle Ages, caliph Ali of the Rashidun Caliphate had to resolve an inheritance dispute between five brothers, where one was intersex. He resolved it by having him take a piss and watching which hole it came out of. According to the Wikipedia page, it came out of both.

The issue of inheritance was a common problem that came up. In the early modern period, inheritance was determined by the way one's genitals leaned. Most records revolve around inheritance cases; it turns out there was a blind spot in old-time misogyny. Then there is Karl Durrge, who made a living as a research subject. Karl also transitioned to male around 1807. Turns out, transitioning was allowed by the Prussian code if the person in question was intersex. I do love the idea of the authorities putting their hands up and declaring, "This is too confusing for me, you figure this out."

Marsha was a trans woman and a drag queen who lived through the Stonewall era in New York City, and she is remembered very fondly by the gay community.

In the city, she was known for her advocacy in LGBT rights, as it was being debated as to whether or not it should be illegal. This was also at the same time when psychologists were working to declassify it as a mental illness. Marsha was seeing times change and was pushing for it heavily. All while she was living in abject poverty. She was, unfortunately, often homeless and struggled a lot with her own mental health, yet she persisted and managed to charm just about everyone around her. Marsha also worked for STAR House, a shelter for LGBT youth. During the AIDS crisis, she would be there in the hospital with terminally ill patients when they didn't have anyone else.

Her advocacy has been immortalized in her legacy. There is a video of her giving an impassioned speech for gay rights that is so full of emotion that she is gasping for air by the end of it.

Now, about the thing she is most known for. Legend says that she was the first one to throw a brick, kicking off the Stonewall riots that Pride month celebrates. Here's the thing: that's actually a myth, but the truth is stranger than fiction, and honestly, much more iconic.

Marsha came in almost an hour late, but she did have bricks (plural) in her purse. She proceeded to climb a lamp post and drop her purse onto a police cruiser, smashing the windshield. With her bag o' smashers, she brought a tear of pride to Carrie Nation's spirit.

Marsha has had many run-ins with the police. Being black in the 70s meant the police were not friends...same thing today too. However, because of her charm, she usually managed to get out.

She lived her life continuing her advocacy until her death. Marsha's body was found in the Hudson River on July 6, 1992. Her death is subject to conspiracy because while she was loved in her community, authorities saw her as a threat. The original autopsy ruled it a suicide, but Marsha had no history of suicidal thoughts. She had a bruise on the back of her head, so the public suspected homicide, possibly as a hate crime from either a civilian, or more likely an officer. The police force specifically had it out for her to the point where they tried to blockade her funeral procession. It failed, and her ashes were released into the Hudson River. Today, there is a bust of her image with holes intended to be decorated with flowers to recreate her iconic flower crown. It was originally a work of guerrilla art placed at Christopher Park in 2021.

Friends, enemies, cousins that I begrudgingly tolerate at family reunions, let's talk about a man called Parallax. Parallax was a fake name for Samuel Birley Rowbotham. Rowbotham was a lot of things: a liar, a manipulator, an adulterer, a con artist, a quack, and worst of all, British.

This was a time when science was more entertainment than anything. A lot of things had yet to be formalized, like medicine, so people could give lectures without any qualifications. You could also make a good buck out of touring the country, giving these lectures. People from all walks of life tended to join these lectures because it was seen as being good for the mind.

Even with all the lack of roadblocks to these lectures, there were still accepted facts. The sky is blue, water is wet, and the Earth is round. That has been known since ancient Greece, and experiments can be done at your local marina by just watching ships sail away. It was just an accepted fact. So imagine everyone's reaction when some weird guy with a fake name rolled into town saying that the world was flat. This weird guy also happens to be a known con artist, so why not go to his lecture? The comedy club is too expensive anyway.

Yeah, the public and the media treated Parallax like a joke. The scientific community treated him more like someone who needed to be debunked. Or at least a few members did, and it resulted in the establishment of a pattern. The rest of the scientific community saw the idea of debunking the Flat Earth as a waste of time.

Now, before going into the experiments, Parallax's origin is pretty unknown. The stories that he recounted sounded like that meme that ends with everyone in the Starbucks clapping. We don't even know if he actually believed what he preached. When I called him a manipulator earlier, it was more in reference to how he would grasp onto any straw he could find in his opponents' arguments and wield them against them. Even if his argument was crumbling, which it often was.

The experiments that he did himself are fuzzy, and the details changed every time he told the story. One group of scientists decided to do an experiment with Parallax in front of a group of reporters and spectators. There was a cliff with a beach nearby. Off in the distance was a lighthouse that was just beyond the curvature of the Earth. The experiment was that if the Earth were curved, they could see most, if not the whole lighthouse, from atop the cliff, but only the lantern from the beach. This experiment took atmospheric refraction into account. Of course, Parallax declared that the whole structure would be visible from both positions. They did the experiment, and the universe was feeling mischievous that day and decided to tone down the refraction. Only half of the lantern was visible that day, and Parallax declared victory for himself, even though the results still meant that he was dead wrong. Yep, manipulative.

The results of this experiment probably sound familiar to anyone who has ever looked at flat-earth experiments. Anytime a flat earther does an experiment that isn't obviously rigged for them, it ends in the flat earth being disproven. It all started with Parallax in the 1800s.

If I were to be a betting man, I'd say he never believed in the flat earth. He was only using it to put butts into seats. That becomes very apparent to me in how he recounts experiments and his own childhood.

Today, the flat earth movement has mutated beyond what it was during Parallax's time. Are there still con men in the movement? Most likely. Do people genuinely believe it? Somehow, yes; however, for the movement to keep going, the belief system picked up on many, many other conspiracies. Things like the moon landing, the existence of Australia, and all the Antarctica stuff. There are also far too many factors involved in the modern movements conspiracy. In this age of information, Occam's Razor is the globe. One theory that cropped up in the flat earth circles to explain how ships disappear over the horizon is water mountains. How does that work? I haven't the slightest clue. I've been splashing some water all day, and my betta fish is just angry with me now.

So recently, I've been playing Tomodachi Life: Living The Dream. It's a life sim of sorts, but with Miis. When I say life sim, it is in quotation marks, because Animal Crossing deserves that title more than this game. This is also the first game in the series after thirteen years of radio silence. You may remember that the first game had some controversy when everyone noticed that the "life sim" let you make real-life people, but bars you from making same sex couples. It was a weird decision to make, given the purpose of the Miis. Nintendo later announced that they would rectify that oversight if they ever made a sequel. Now we can say that they followed through.

Half my island is queer, just like my friend group. It even allows for ace and nonbinary options. Which my nonconforming ace friend found very appealing. And I can pair myself up with the man of my dreams and listen to his beautiful text-to-speech voice. All while we share a delicious meal of a dick on a platter.

Oh yeah, the customization. This game allows for an insane amount of customization. You can draw on Mii's faces to get unique marks, or just make a dinosaur man; you can draw new buildings to make cozy little cabins or a penis tower; you can also make random items, like your favorite toy or a phat doobie.

My personal favorite item I've made is the birthday cake. It's just an ass with whipped cream, sprinkles, and a candle stuck between the cheeks. It's a delicacy on my island, which I named Fuck.

You can also make the Miis say whatever you want. Yeah, there are no filters until you share your creations, and that's only allowed through local play. I guess that's the only reason why Nintendo allows anything. That way, they can put their hands up if any parents complain.

Now the downside is that hearing the miis swear gets old after a while. So you'll have to sow the seeds for more unhinged things to just happen, like the queen talking about the heat death of the universe.

Rugrats Scavenger Hunt on the N64 is a game that I have. It was one of those games that I rebought a couple of years ago because the memories of it flooded my head, and it was only a couple of bucks in good condition. Then the memories started flooding back in.

Scavenger Hunt is a board game that came out on the N64. It was definitely one of those things my parents picked up because "hey, the kids like this show."

The game itself has all the original voice actors, with the backdrop of a family game night with the kids. Queue the usual imagination games the babies like to play, and that's how the game is set up.

There are three boards: the Aztec temple, the sunken pirate ship, and the Reptar candy land. Each game involves collecting the full list of items necessary to win, and the board spaces and other players will present obstacles that either hinder progress on the board, allow other players to steal pieces, or give you an advantage. Pretty straightforward; the main differences are the aesthetics and some slight gameplay changes. Beyond those minor differences, the boards work the same.

The first board is the Aztec temple. The task is to gather up all the broken idol pieces before Angelica can gather the pieces for her tattle tale tile. This one is a team effort; everyone has to work together and remember all the spots that have been explored during the sweep of each room. All while avoiding Angelica herself, especially if you have one of her pieces. My brother and I always had trouble with this level, but then again, I just gained self-awareness at the time. We always struggled to avoid Angelica and get all the pieces. I guess I didn't have object permanence either, but neither did the computer players. Often, they would understand that a certain vase has a piece in it, but don't understand that it's a duplicate, and will constantly pick it up and put it back, because you can't have two of the same thing. So that was another factor my brother was working against.

The next board is the sunken ship. The goal here is to find all the treasures needed. This time, however, Susie has jumped in to help the players with a free search around the room. This one was easier for me to understand as a kid, and it had a rock-paper-scissors mechanic for stealing items.

Reptar's Candy Land is the final board and is just a mission to collect a set amount of each candy available. It does get a bit frustrating to get to each zone to collect the candy because it is possible to get warped around the map. The thing that really stands out is the Reptar versions of the babies. They do not translate well with N64 graphics. Good god, these are ugly-ass babies.

In the original storybook, it's never actually said that she is the little girl, but the depictions make it very clear that she is the little girl going on an adventure.

The story starts out when Rosalina meets a lost little Luma hiding in a mushroom-shaped starship. For simplicity, we'll name him Comet. Comet is missing his mama, who is somewhere out in the cosmos. They decide to repair the ship and set off together.

Their adventure takes them across the galaxy. Rosalina learns a lot about the cosmos from Comet. They explore the stars, explore comets, eventually they settle on one and build a home. Soon they came across other lumas and Rosalina started adopting them and welcoming them onto the comet. Then one day Rosalina finds her home planet and is overcome with grief. She saw her own mothers grave under the same tree where her family would have picnics, star gaze, where she would play with her brother. Her own mothers grave was such an integral part of her childhood, and now she wouldn't see her again.

In order to cheer up Rosalina, Comet transforms into the Comet Observatory. From here the rest is history. Rosalina takes her place traveling the universe and caring for the lumas until they are ready to transform and expand the universe.

Rosalina cares a lot for these pudgy little stars. Seeing them transform into planets weighs heavily on her, because it also means that she won't be able to talk to them or hear their voices. They are just planets now. The only acceptions seem to be launch stars, as those lumas always reappear and still talk.

Now a bit of theorizing from me. I know that a popular theory is that Rosalina is Peach's kid from a previous universe. However, after 100% the game, you get a special cutscene of her leaving the Gateway Galaxy. At the end of that cutscene, we see the Toad Brigades Starshroom stuck in the rocks at the south pole. It's broken down, overgrown, and rusted. In the wreckege we see a little luma that looks just like Comet. The cycle continues.

That last scene has lead to the theory that Rosalina is Peach's daughter from a previous cycle of the universe. This theory is only strengthened by the picutres in the story book. The mother looks like Peach, and Rosalina shares some features with her as well. In fact, she just looks like a more graceful space Peach. This does make her a little bit of a paradox and makes me wonder if she's named after herself like River Song.

Now onto my own little theory. I think the comet that Rosalina and Comet originally settled on before the observatory is the gateway. The book states that they built a home on it, but also, when Comet transforms, he leaves a crater. There are two big craters on the planet and three buildings. It's also an important planet to Rosalina, to the point where she has access to it on the observatory, and she even parks next to it when visiting the planet the Mushroom Kingdom is on. It's also close enough that Rosalina can easily see her home through her telescope. I see no reason why it can't be the old comet.

Princess Peach Toadstool of the Mushroom Kingdom is a character that I've always liked. In Smash Bros. Brawl, I've come to like how nonchalant she looks in the face of all the danger happening around her. Specifically with how she keeps her polite and cheerful demeanor, like when she offers Fox a cup of tea when he's about to fight Sheik. In other media like the movies and comics, when she's about to be kidnapped, Peach is shown as being pretty competent in fending off Bowser, and only gives in when she's put into a corner. This last part is shown in the games a couple of times. In Super Mario 3D Land, Peach is shown fighting off Bowser's minions in the postcards Mario receives. In Super Paper Mario, Peach is shown not taking anyone's shit. Yes, I chose all the fuck you options with the Francis dating sim. Now, I get to take Peach onto the stage in her latest magical girl adventure.

The story goes like this. Peach is given a flyer to a world-famous theater and decides that she wants to see a show. She and a couple of toads pack their bags and go to the theater. Right before they get to the show, the theater is attacked by a Madam Grape. A purple ghostly whatsit who takes over the theater so that she can show her ultimate tragedies, which involve kidnapping and killing the star actors in ironic ways. Yeah, she doesn't fuck around. Anyway, Peach finds Stella, who runs the theater, and the two go through the plays, setting everything right.

Gameplay-wise, it's pretty simple. It's two buttons and the joystick just as god intended. The things the buttons do change depending on the plays to fit the roles. A is always jump, but B can be swinging weapons, punch, or spin. Not much to say here, controls are easy to grasp and are pretty solid. Level design is pretty straightforward, like your typical Mario game. The goal is clear and easy to understand. It is a pretty easy game. I rarely died, and sometimes I completed the goal earlier than I should have. The bosses tended to be a bit more difficult, but once you grasp what you need to do, it all falls into place.

Visually, this game is creative and wonderful to look at. The levels are all stage productions, and it leans into it. Some of the backdrops are made to look like cardboard or even hand-painted. Props and enemies hang from wires; even Peach has some props that fit the aesthetic.

The themes of the levels are not confined to stage plays, it is more just themed around whatever show you can find. You'll find typical stage plays like a musketeer production, but also old westerns, Saturday morning superhero cartoons, figure skating, cooking shows, and there's even a boss themed around Tom and Jerry.

Then there are Peach's costumes, oh my god, the costumes. I got excited before each one was revealed because they were all amazing. Seeing Peach do her magical girl transformation sequence was always so much fun. I know some of these costumes were someone's gay or bi awakening. Looking at you, Dashing Thief! They also lacked the trademark, Toadstool pink, that you just expect from Peach. That was a breath of fresh air. Pinkalicious is always fun, but too much of it can be exhausting.

Writing-wise, it was pretty simple. Grape took the theater, time to take it back. There were a couple of comedic moments that made me chuckle. The thing that stuck with me, though, was how honorable the bosses were. Progressing through the story, Grape gains some respect for Peach. The Starla bosses see Peach as an equal, the figure skater is always moved to tears by her performance, and the baker keeps his word for the bake-off. Mario never sees anything like this during his games.

We're lucky to see even one pack on store shelves. My brother has gone so long without seeing a fresh pack that the new joke is that before checking the card section, he has to put on his clown makeup. The displays are dusty now. He can't finish any collections now.

It's not just him. At TCG tournaments, players are using older decks because it's just what they have. They can't even get the current packs. They are doing it just to sell them at a markup on eBay. So how's that going?

The scalper market for Pokémon cards is in a constant freefall. Well, no shit, it's a group of people who are trying to sell cardboard printouts like they're NFTs, except people actually want these, because they actually look nice. However, no one is paying these exorbitant prices. They're so damn high that a lot of these scalpers are lucky if they break even. Think about it. There is a whole community of collectors for these things. They have been buying these packs for years. Since the mid 90s, those foil packs have been available. These collectors know how much these packs are actually worth. They also know that a card can wildly fluctuate in price. Again, take my brother, he keeps an eye on some alt arts that he likes and wants. He really likes to pick them up when a rare card is turned common by being used to advertise a box. The ones that display a card up front. He's not alone in that either. This is a community that is actively working to not buy a single thing from the scalpers. Which is why you get situations like the TCG, where they can't even use the current version of the game.

As for the Pokémon Company, they are pissed with scalpers. Why's that? The cards are still selling. Yes, but no one can play the damn game. They're merch may be highly collectible, but they're a toy company first and foremost. A collapse in the scalper market could easily hurt them. Unless they just do what George Lucas did and just print a fuck ton of cards.

How?

In 2003, Sarah Seabury Ward in the UK was sued for piracy. Now she and her husband did have a computer, but it was a Macintosh that didn't have the right software. They didn't even have iTunes. They're not sure how this case came to them either. Luckily, once they brought this to public attention, the case was dropped, but it would not be the last time someone shat the bed in the courtroom.

Where Is It?

In 2006, Janice McBride of Brooklyn was accused of downloading Adam Sandler's movie The Longest Yard. McBride responded by saying:

"Why are they going after an old lady living in the ghetto?"

She, of course, denied the accusations before calling the movie in question garbage. The best part is that a spokesperson for the MPAA investigators admitted that there is no evidence that they even downloaded the movies, but they knew it was on her computer. It wasn't.

She Didn't Even Have A Computer

In 2005, Gertrude Walton was accused of being a pirate who goes by the name Smittenedkitten. The biggest problem with the case was that Gertrude didn't even have a computer. Her daughter even confirmed that she even actively refused to get one. Nevertheless, Gertrude was served in January, but here's the thing, by the time it got to her house, she was dead for a month. She had a long battle with an illness that ended when she was 83 years old. The case was bad enough that Gertrude's daughter, who was living with her to take care of her, was actively wondering if it was some sort of scam. The RIAA had to withdraw the case and slink away in shame.