Cess

. . .

By eleven-thirty, Y/N had wiped down every table in the diner twice.

The chairs were flipped upside down over the booths and tables, the coffee machines had been cleaned, and the neon OPEN sign in the front window had been switched off nearly an hour ago. Outside, the empty highway stretched through the desert in both directions, illuminated only by the occasional passing headlights and the pale glow of the moon.

It was the kind of road people used to get somewhere else.

Few ever stopped unless they needed gas, coffee, or a bathroom.

Y/N had been working at the diner long enough to recognize the different types of travelers who came through: exhausted truck drivers, families with screaming children, couples who had clearly been arguing for the past fifty miles and college students attempting road trips in cars that looked one pothole away from collapsing.

Tonight had been unusually quiet.

Her manager had left shortly after closing, trusting Y/N to finish counting the register and lock up. The cook had disappeared through the back door ten minutes after that, leaving behind a cloud of cigarette smoke and a reminder not to forget the lights over the grill.

Now the diner belonged entirely to her.

She had claimed the booth nearest the counter, one leg tucked beneath her as she stared at the open laptop in front of her. A half-finished cup of coffee sat beside it, cold enough that the thin layer of creamer on top had begun to separate.

Three paragraphs remained between her and freedom.

Technically, five pages remained between her and freedom, but she had decided not to think about that.

Y/N leaned closer to the screen, squinting at the sentence she had rewritten four separate times.

The significance of—

She deleted it.

The historical importance of—

Delete.

“This is stupid,” she muttered.

Her professor had given the class two weeks to complete the assignment. Naturally, Y/N had spent thirteen days thinking about starting it and was now attempting to finish the entire thing during closing shifts at the diner.

The cursor blinked mockingly at her.

Y/N reached for her coffee, took one sip, and immediately grimaced.

“Disgusting.”

She drank it again anyway.

A faint rumble rolled somewhere in the distance.

At first, she assumed it was thunder.

The monsoon clouds had been gathering along the horizon since sunset, though they had yet to offer anything beyond a few flashes of lightning and enough humidity to make her hair cling to the back of her neck.

Y/N returned her attention to the laptop.

The significance of Norse mythology—

A blinding streak of light flashed past the diner windows.

She barely had time to lift her head before something struck the earth outside with a tremendous crash.

The windows rattled in their frames.

Silverware clattered inside its plastic trays. Her coffee tipped over, spreading across the table and soaking the corner of her notebook.

Y/N jumped from the booth with a sharp cry.

“What the hell?”

The lights flickered once.

Twice.

Then steadied.

Y/N remained frozen beside the booth, staring through the darkened windows.

For several seconds, there was nothing.

No second impact. No explosion. No vehicle skidding across the pavement.

Only silence.

The coffee continued dripping from the edge of the table and onto the floor.

Y/N slowly closed her laptop before the spreading liquid could reach it. Her pulse beat hard against her throat as she stepped away from the booth.

Maybe a transformer had blown.

Except the diner still had power.

Maybe someone had crashed nearby.

That possibility forced her feet into motion.

She hurried behind the counter and crouched, reaching beneath the register until her fingers closed around the wooden baseball bat her manager kept there.

He had claimed it was for protection.

Y/N had always thought it was more likely to get them sued.

Tonight, however, the weight of it in her hands felt reassuring.

She moved toward the front door and stopped with her fingers wrapped around the lock.

Calling the police would be the sensible thing to do.

She pulled her phone from the pocket of her apron.

No Service.

“Of course.”

She raised it over her head as though six additional inches might convince the nearest tower to acknowledge her existence.

Nothing.

The diner sat in one of those inconvenient dead zones where calls only went through if someone stood near the old vending machines outside and held their phone at exactly the right angle.

Y/N considered remaining inside.

Whatever had happened could wait until she found service.

Then she imagined someone trapped inside a wrecked car while she stood ten yards away debating whether it was safe to investigate.

She swore softly and unlocked the door.

Hot desert air rushed inside.

Y/N tightened both hands around the bat as she stepped into the parking lot. Gravel crunched beneath her sneakers. The overhead lights buzzed faintly, attracting moths and small flying insects that threw shifting shadows across the asphalt.

“Hello?”

No answer.

She looked toward the highway.

The road was empty.

There were no headlights, no tire marks and no wreckage scattered across the pavement. Whatever had caused the impact had come from somewhere else.

Y/N’s eyes shifted toward the stretch of desert behind the diner.

A faint haze of dust hung over the ground.

Beyond the last row of parking spaces, something had carved a shallow trench through the sand and scattered rocks in every direction. Sparse bushes had been flattened along its path.

Y/N stared at it.

“Nope.”

She took one step backward.

Then she heard it.

A low, strained sound coming from somewhere beyond the edge of the parking lot.

It might have been a groan.

The bat lowered slightly in her hands.

“Hello?”

Still no response.

Y/N approached the disturbed ground with careful steps. The diner lights grew dimmer behind her as she followed the shallow trench into the darkness.

Her sneakers sank into the loose sand.

At the end of the trail, a dark shape lay crumpled between two desert shrubs.

Y/N stopped.

It was a person.

A man, she realized as she moved closer. He lay facedown in the sand with one arm bent unnaturally beneath him and long black hair obscuring most of his face.

His clothing caught the moonlight in brief flashes of green, black and gold.

Not clothing, exactly.

Armor.

Y/N’s grip tightened around the baseball bat.

For one absurd moment, she wondered whether the nearby Renaissance festival had started early.

Then she saw the blood.

It stained the side of his face and soaked through torn fabric beneath the metal plating around his shoulders. One of his hands was scraped raw, his fingers still curled as though they had been holding something moments before.

The bat slipped lower.

“Oh, shit.”

Y/N hurried the remaining distance and dropped to her knees beside him.

“Hey.”

She placed the bat within reach and cautiously touched two fingers to the side of his neck.

His skin was cold.

Not cool from the night air. Cold enough to make her instinctively pull her hand back.

Panic shot through her.

Then she felt it.

A pulse.

Slow, but present.

Y/N released a breath she had not realized she was holding.

“Okay. You’re alive.”

The stranger did not respond.

She leaned closer, watching for the movement of his back. His breathing was shallow and uneven, but he was breathing.

That was good.

Breathing meant not dead.

She could work with not dead.

Y/N pulled out her phone again and dialed 911 despite the empty bars in the corner of the screen.

The call immediately failed.

She stood and walked several paces away, raising the phone toward the sky.

“Come on. Come on.”

No service.

She tried closer to the diner.

Nothing.

Near the edge of the highway.

Still nothing.

Y/N looked back at the man lying motionless in the dirt.

The nearest hospital was at least forty minutes away. The nearest place she could reliably make a call was probably the gas station fifteen miles down the road.

She could drive there and call for help.

She could also return to find that he had stopped breathing while she was gone.

“Why did you have to land in the one place without a signal?” she demanded.

The unconscious man offered no explanation.

Y/N paced once across the gravel, pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes.

She could not lift him.

Even from several feet away, she could tell he was tall. Lean, perhaps, but tall enough that attempting to carry him would end with both of them injured.

Dragging him across the sand would worsen whatever damage he had already suffered.

She stared at him, then at her car parked near the side of the diner.

An idea began to form.

It was not a good idea.

In fact, it was objectively one of the stupidest ideas she had ever entertained.

But it was technically an idea.

Y/N hurried toward her car and yanked open the back door. Fast-food wrappers, textbooks and an emergency sweatshirt occupied the seat. She pushed them aside before opening the trunk.

Her skateboard was buried beneath a reusable grocery bag and a case of bottled water.

She had not used it in months. The scratched deck was covered in faded stickers, and one of the wheels squeaked whenever it turned, but it remained mostly functional.

“Please don’t break,” she whispered, pulling it free.

Y/N carried the skateboard back across the parking lot and into the desert.

The stranger had not moved.

She placed the board beside him and crouched.

“Okay. Here’s what’s going to happen.”

He remained unconscious.

“I’m going to get you into my car, drive until I have service and call an ambulance. You’re not going to wake up and murder me.”

Nothing.

Y/N nodded.

“Great. Glad we agree.”

She rolled him carefully onto his back.

His face turned toward her.

Y/N paused.

Despite the blood streaking his temple and the bruises beginning to darken beneath his pale skin, he was—

Well.

He was unfairly attractive.

His features were sharp and almost elegant, from the high curve of his cheekbones to the severe line of his nose. Dark lashes rested against his skin. His long hair spread across the sand around him.

Y/N stared for one second too long.

Then she caught herself.

“Not relevant.”

His armor was unlike anything she had ever seen up close. The gold pieces were scratched and bent, while the green fabric beneath them had been torn in several places. It did not look like plastic or cheap costume metal.

It looked real.

Heavy, too.

That explained part of the problem.

Y/N slid her hands beneath his shoulders and attempted to lift him.

His upper body rose perhaps two inches before her arms began to shake.

“Oh, come on.”

She lowered him again and repositioned the skateboard closer.

The first attempt ended with one of his arms sliding from the board and dropping limply into the sand.

The second ended when the board rolled away from her.

On the third attempt, Y/N wedged one foot behind a wheel, hooked both hands beneath his arms and pulled with everything she had.

His shoulders landed across the deck.

The rest of him did not.

Y/N dropped onto the sand beside him, breathing heavily.

“Fuck. You could’ve been shorter.”

The stranger remained serenely unhelpful.

She climbed back to her feet, grabbed him beneath the arms again and dragged him another few inches onto the board. His legs extended far beyond the end, boots scraping lines through the sand.

It was not dignified.

It was not medically advisable.

It was, however, progress.

Y/N stepped back and examined her work.

His torso rested across the skateboard while his arms hung over either side and his heels remained on the ground.

She pulled off her apron, threaded it beneath his arms and tied it loosely across his chest to keep him from rolling off.

“There.”

He looked like the world’s most elaborate piece of luggage.

Y/N grabbed the front of the skateboard and began pulling.

The wheels sank immediately into the sand.

She stopped.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

Y/N moved behind the board and pushed instead. It rolled several inches before catching on a rock and nearly throwing the stranger sideways.

She lunged forward and caught his shoulder.

“Absolutely not. I did not do all this just for you to crack your head open again.”

She dragged the board around the rock and continued.

. . . 

Y/N unlocked the apartment with one hand while keeping one foot planted against the skateboard to stop it from rolling backward. Then she dragged him inside, kicked the door shut and leaned against it, breathing heavily.

Her living room was small.

A worn couch occupied one wall, facing a television balanced on a low wooden stand. Books and college papers covered the coffee table. A laundry basket sat abandoned near the hallway, half-filled with clean clothes she had not bothered folding.

It was not the setting in which one expected to receive a mysterious armored man.

It would have to do.

Getting him onto the couch took another ten minutes.

Once he was finally stretched across the cushions, Y/N stood over him with both hands braced against her lower back.

“There.”

He looked uncomfortable.

His legs extended beyond the armrest, and one of the metal pieces at his shoulder pressed awkwardly against his neck.

Y/N frowned.

The armor had to come off.

She hesitated.

Removing someone’s clothing without permission felt wrong. 

Leaving blood-soaked material pressed against open injuries also felt wrong.

She crouched beside him and examined the clasps.

“I’m only doing this because I don’t want you to die. Not to be a pervert.”

The armor did not appear designed for easy removal.

Each piece overlapped another, secured with unfamiliar fastenings and narrow strips of dark leather. Y/N began with the gold shoulder plates, testing every buckle until one finally released.

The metal was colder than it should have been.

She placed each piece carefully on the floor beside the coffee table. Beneath the outer armor, the fabric was torn and damp with blood. A long cut ran beneath his ribs, while smaller abrasions covered his shoulders and arms.

Y/N swallowed.

“Okay.”

She found scissors in the kitchen and cut through the fabric where it had stuck to the wounds. When she reached the fitted leather around his waist, she paused again.

There was no way to clean everything properly without removing the rest.

Y/N looked at his face.

His breathing remained steady.

“You’re unconscious,” she reasoned quietly. “This is medical.”

She pointed at him.

“And you do not get to be weird about this later.”

She worked as quickly and respectfully as she could, keeping her eyes on the injuries rather than the man beneath the clothing.

That became more difficult when she discovered he wore nothing beneath the final layer.

Y/N immediately grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the couch and covered his lower half.

“Great.”

She stared at the ceiling for a moment.

“Of course.”

Once her face stopped burning, she returned to the task.

She cleaned the blood from his skin with warm water and the softest cloth she owned. His body was marked with bruises that had already darkened to deep shades of purple and blue, especially along his ribs and shoulders. None of his bones appeared obviously broken, though Y/N knew that meant very little.

His skin remained unnaturally cold.

She placed the back of her hand against his forehead.

No fever.

The opposite, if anything.

Y/N wrapped the worst cuts with gauze and secured the bandages with medical tape. She put antibiotic ointment on the shallower scrapes, covered the torn skin across his knuckles and cleaned the blood from his hairline.

At one point, his brow furrowed beneath her touch.

Y/N froze.

His eyes did not open.

“Sorry,” she whispered.

She finished the wound near his temple more gently.

Afterward, she washed his armor in the bathtub.

The water turned pink, then red, then gradually clear. Up close, the pieces looked even less like a costume. The metal was dense and beautifully worked, carved with patterns too intricate to have been manufactured cheaply. Even damaged, it seemed valuable enough to pay her rent for years.

Y/N left the armor to dry on towels across the bathroom floor.

The cloth and leather beneath it required more work.

Several seams had torn apart during his fall, and one sleeve had nearly separated from the shoulder. Y/N retrieved the small sewing kit she used to repair buttons and uniform hems, then sat cross-legged on the floor beside the couch.

The material resisted an ordinary needle.

She broke one attempting to push it through the thicker section.

“You are extremely inconvenient,” she told him.

The stranger did not respond.

She eventually found a heavy needle in the back of the kit and used black thread to close the worst tears. Her stitches were not elegant, but they held. Where the fabric had been too badly damaged, she reinforced it from the inside with pieces cut from an old black shirt.

It took nearly two hours.

By the time she finished, her eyes ached and the sky beyond the windows had begun to lighten at the edges.

Y/N placed the repaired clothing with the rest of the armor in the bathroom. Then she returned to the couch.

The stranger had not moved.

The blanket still covered him from the waist down, though one side had slipped low enough to expose his hip.

Y/N quickly pulled it back into place.

“There. Modesty.”

She added a second blanket over his chest, partly because of how cold he felt and partly because she did not want to walk into the living room later and discover that the first one had fallen away entirely.

She left a glass of water on the coffee table and moved the baseball bat within easy reach of the armchair.

Only then did she allow herself to breathe.

The apartment was quiet.

Too quiet.

Y/N checked the lock on the front door, then checked it again.

She did not think she could sleep.

Instead, she went into the kitchen and filled a kettle.

Tea seemed like something a normal person would make after finding an unconscious man in a crater.

Tea was calming.

Tea was harmless.

Tea did not ask why there was alien-looking armor drying in her bathroom.

Y/N leaned against the counter while the kettle heated, rubbing both hands over her face.

What was she going to do when he woke?

Ask his name.

Ask what happened.

Ask whether there was anyone she could call.

Then, depending on his answer, either drive him to the hospital or lock herself in the bathroom and climb out the window.

The kettle began to whistle.

She turned off the burner, poured the water over two tea bags and tried not to notice how badly her hands shook. One mug was for her. The other was for him, in case he woke and wanted something warm.

She had just added honey to the second cup when she heard movement in the living room.

A rustle of fabric.

Then silence.

Y/N went still.

The baseball bat was in the other room.

Excellent planning.

She reached for the largest kitchen knife instead.

A floorboard creaked.

Then another.

Slow footsteps approached the kitchen.

Y/N tightened her fingers around the handle.

A tall figure appeared in the doorway.

She looked up.

Her breath caught.

The stranger was awake.

He stood with one hand braced against the frame, dark hair falling loose around his shoulders. The bandage at his temple remained in place, though the one wrapped around his ribs had shifted slightly with his movement.

His eyes were sharp and startlingly green.

They swept across the kitchen in a single, assessing glance before settling on her.

He looked disoriented.

Not frightened.

Not confused in the helpless way she had expected.

He looked like an animal waking inside a trap and calculating how many people stood between him and the exit.

Y/N lowered the knife slightly.

“Hi.”

His gaze dropped to the blade.

Then returned to her face.

“Where am I?”

His voice was low and rough from disuse, but the words carried a precise, commanding weight that made her stand straighter without meaning to.

“My apartment.”

His expression hardened. “What realm?”

Y/N blinked. “New Mexico.”

His eyes narrowed.

“That was not my question.”

She stared at him. “Uh…Earth?”

A slight shift passed over his features.

“Midgard.”

He spoke the word as though confirming something unpleasant.

Y/N studied him more carefully.

He was pale and unsteady, but there was something unmistakably regal in the way he held himself. Even injured and wrapped in bandages, he looked as though he expected the room to accommodate his presence.

He took one step forward.

The movement drew her attention downward.

Y/N immediately turned toward the counter.

“Oh my God.”

The stranger stopped. “What?”

“You’re naked.”

Silence.

Y/N kept her eyes fixed on the tea.

Completely fixed.

She could still see him at the edge of her vision, which was far more than she wanted to see while attempting to have a conversation with him.

“You’re just—” She made a vague gesture with one hand. “You left the blanket.”

The stranger looked down at himself.

There was a pause.

Not embarrassment.

Merely acknowledgment. “As it would seem.”

Y/N glanced at him by accident.

Her gaze dropped.

She immediately snapped it back to his face and then away again.

“Could you please cover yourself?”

“Why?”

The question sounded genuine.

Y/N looked toward the ceiling.

“Because you’re standing naked in my kitchen.”

“I am aware.”

“You weren’t until I said something.”

His mouth tightened. “I was otherwise occupied.”

“With what?”

“Determining where I have been taken.”

“No one took you anywhere.”

His eyes sharpened. “You expect me to believe that I arrived here of my own will?”

“I found you outside my job.”

He watched her in silence.

“You were unconscious,” she continued. “In the desert. You were bleeding, and I couldn’t get service to call an ambulance, so I brought you here.”

She gestured toward the hallway without looking directly at him.

“Your clothes are in the bathroom.”

“My clothes?”

“The armor or whatever.”

His gaze moved over her face, searching for some indication of deception.

“You removed them.”

Y/N’s cheeks warmed again. “They were covered in blood.”

“You disrobed me while I was insensible.”

“To clean your injuries.”

His expression became unreadable.

Y/N finally looked at his face.

Only his face.

“I covered you with a blanket.”

“Which appears to have been of greater concern to you than to me.”

“Yes, because I’m the one being traumatized right now.”

One of his eyebrows lifted.

The reaction was subtle, but unmistakably offended. “You speak boldly for one who claims not to be my captor.”

Y/N stared at him.

“You are naked, bleeding in my apartment and threatening me while butt-naked. I think we’re past formal introductions.”

The corner of his mouth shifted.

Not quite a smile.

More the distant memory of one.

It vanished before she could be certain.

“Where is the latrine?”

“Bathroom? Down the hall. First door on the left.”

He turned.

Y/N accidentally caught another glimpse of him from behind.

She spun back toward the counter so quickly that tea sloshed over the rim of her mug.

“And take the blanket with you!”

He paused in the doorway.

“What blanket?”

“The one on the floor in the living room.”

“I have no need of it.”

“I do.”

He looked over his shoulder at her.

For a moment, his eyes traveled across her face, taking in the flush in her cheeks and the determined way she refused to look below his shoulders.

Something knowing entered his expression.

“You are embarrassed.”

“I’m trying to be respectful.”

“An unusual concern, considering you have already seen me.”

Y/N’s mouth fell open. “For medical reasons.”

“So you claim.”

“I saved your life.”

“That remains to be determined.”

She turned fully toward him then, irritation momentarily overpowering embarrassment.

“You know what? Fine. Walk around naked. I don’t care.”

His eyes flicked downward briefly, following the line of her gaze before it shot back to his face.

“No,” he said softly. “I can see that.”

Y/N grabbed a dish towel and threw it at him.

His hand rose.

The towel stopped in midair.

Y/N froze.

It hovered between them for one impossible second before floating neatly into his waiting palm.

The kitchen fell silent.

Her grip tightened around the knife.

The stranger glanced at the towel as though nothing remarkable had occurred.

Then he looked at her.

Fear must have shown on her face, because his expression changed.

The amusement disappeared.

His shoulders drew back, despite the pain the movement caused him, and the regal coldness returned all at once.

“You would be wise to lower the blade.”

Y/N swallowed. “…You just stopped that in the air.”

“A minor feat.”

“That is not minor.”

“To you, perhaps.”

He stepped toward her.

Y/N raised the knife again.

He stopped.

For the first time since entering the kitchen, he appeared to truly see her, not merely as part of the strange room in which he had awakened, but as the woman who had found him, tended his wounds and was now plainly frightened of what stood before her.

His gaze moved to the bandage wrapped around his hand.

Then to the repaired cut along his side.

“You treated these.”

“Yes.”

“Without knowing what I am.”

“I still don’t know what you are.”

His expression hardened faintly at the wording.

Y/N noticed.

“Who,” she corrected. “I don’t know who you are.”

He studied her for a long moment.

Then, with visible reluctance, he wrapped the dish towel around his waist.

It covered almost nothing.

Y/N stared at it.

“That is a hand towel.”

“You demanded I cover myself.”

“Not with something the size of a napkin.”

His patience visibly thinned.

“I have survived the void between worlds. I will not be scolded over your household linens.”

“Then go get the blanket.”

His eyes flashed.

Y/N pointed down the hallway.

“Or your clothes.”

There was a tense pause.

Then he turned away with what remained of his dignity and walked toward the bathroom, one hand holding the towel closed at his hip.

Y/N waited until he disappeared from sight before setting the knife down.

Her knees felt weak.

She pressed both palms against the counter.

He had caught a towel without touching it.

He had called Earth Midgard.

He had asked which realm he was in.

Y/N looked toward the hallway.

The bathroom door opened.

Then silence.

A moment later, his voice carried through the apartment.

“What have you done to my garments?”

Y/N closed her eyes.

“I cleaned them.”

“You stitched them.”

“They were ripped.”

“With Midgardian thread.”

“It was that or dental floss.”

Another silence.

Then, colder, “Where are the remaining pieces?”

“On the floor beside the bathtub. I didn’t know how they attached.”

The bathroom door opened again.

He emerged wearing only the lower half of his clothing, the repaired leather sitting low on his hips while he carried the torn tunic in one hand.

Y/N made a concentrated effort to focus on the stitching.

His fingers traced one of the repaired seams.

The work looked crude beneath his touch, especially compared to the original construction.

“I know it isn’t perfect,” she said defensively. “The material broke two of my needles.”

His gaze lifted to hers.

“You repaired it yourself.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Y/N frowned. “Because it was damaged.”

“That is not an answer.”

“It’s the only one I have.”

He continued watching her.

There was suspicion in his face, but something else beneath it. Something less certain.

Y/N gestured toward the second mug on the counter.

“I made tea.”

His eyes shifted toward it.

“You prepared it for me.”

“In case you woke up.”

“You did not know whether I would.”

“No.”

“And yet you prepared it.”

Y/N shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable beneath the weight of his attention. “You looked like you needed something warm.”

His expression became distant.

For a fleeting moment, the arrogance slipped.

He looked tired.

Not merely from his injuries, but from something deeper, something that had begun long before he struck the earth outside the diner.

Then the mask returned.

“What is your name?”

“Y/N.”

He repeated it quietly, testing the sound.

She waited.

“And you are?”

His chin lifted.

The change in him was immediate. Even half-dressed and bandaged in a stranger’s kitchen, he gathered himself as though standing before a royal court.

“I am Loki of Asgard.”

Y/N stared at him.

He continued, each title delivered with wounded, practiced pride.

“Son of Odin. Prince of the realm. God of Mischief.”

The kitchen fell silent.

Y/N looked at his repaired clothing.

Then at the unfamiliar armor visible through the open bathroom door.

Then at the man who had stopped a flying towel in midair.

“Oh.”

His eyes narrowed. “That is all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say? I’m processing.”

“You doubt me.”

“I watched you do magic, so I’m trying very hard not to.”

“Magic.” His tone suggested the word was inadequate.

Y/N picked up the second mug and held it out to him. “Tea?”

Loki looked at it as though unsure whether it was an offering or a test.

Then he approached.

He took the mug from her hand, his fingers brushing hers.

His skin remained cold.

Y/N tried not to react.

Loki noticed anyway.

His gaze dropped to their hands.

Then rose slowly to her face.

She withdrew first.

“You should sit down,” she said. “Before you fall down.”

“I do not fall.”

Y/N glanced toward the living room. “You literally fell out of the sky.”

His expression went still.

The remark landed harder than she intended.

His fingers tightened around the mug.

Y/N watched the humor vanish from his face and immediately regretted it.

“I didn’t mean—”

“You know nothing of what occurred.”

His voice had lost its rough amusement. What remained was cold and sharp enough to cut.

“No,” she said carefully. “I don’t.”

He looked away.

For several moments, he said nothing.

The silence felt heavier than anger.

Y/N studied him, noticing the tension in his jaw and the way his eyes fixed on some distant point beyond the kitchen walls.

Whatever had brought him to Earth had not been an accident.

Or, if it had, it was not the part that troubled him most.

She did not ask.

Instead, she nudged the honey closer across the counter.

“It might need more of that.”

Loki glanced down.

His grip on the mug gradually loosened.

“You are a peculiar creature.”

“I get that a lot.”

“You should be afraid of me.”

“I am a little.”

His gaze returned to hers.

The honesty appeared to surprise him.

Y/N folded her arms.

“But you’re hurt, and you haven’t done anything except insult my sewing and refuse to wear a blanket.”

A faint breath escaped him.

Almost a laugh.

“Your sewing is appalling.”

“And yet your clothes aren’t falling apart anymore.”

He examined the repaired seam once more.

“No,” he conceded quietly. “They are not.”

Y/N lifted her own mug.

“Drink your tea, Your Highness.”

Loki’s eyes narrowed at the title, uncertain whether she was mocking him.

She was.

But only a little.

He raised the mug to his lips.

The tea was still hot enough that he paused after the first sip, surprise briefly crossing his face.

Y/N hid a smile behind her own cup.

There, half-dressed in her kitchen with his armor drying beside her bathtub and black thread closing the tears in his princely garments, Loki of Asgard took another cautious drink.

For the first time since waking, he did not look toward the door.

. . .

By the time Loki finished eating, the clock above the stove read 4:57 a.m.

Y/N stared at it for several seconds, as though willing the numbers to rearrange themselves into something less offensive.

They did not.

The remains of his meal sat on the plate in front of him: a smear of egg yolk, one corner of toast and nothing else. For someone who had initially regarded the food as beneath him, Loki had eaten with impressive efficiency.

He had also asked seventeen questions.

Y/N had counted.

Most of them had concerned Midgard, her home, the diner, the glowing box mounted above the stove and why humans stored food in cold cupboards only to heat it again moments later.

Several had concerned her.

Those had been harder to answer.

She gathered the empty dishes from the small table and carried them to the sink.

Behind her, Loki remained seated with his repaired tunic draped around his shoulders but not properly fastened. He looked marginally better than he had an hour earlier. There was more color in his face, and the trembling in his hands had stopped.

He still looked exhausted.

Y/N suspected she looked worse.

She turned on the faucet and rinsed the plate.

“I’m going to bed.”

The chair shifted behind her.

“Now?”

Y/N looked over her shoulder.

“Yes, now.”

His brows drew together faintly.

“You intend to sleep.”

“That’s usually what going to bed means.”

“In my presence.”

She shut off the water. “You can stay on the couch.”

“That was not my concern.”

Y/N dried her hands on a dish towel. “What is your concern?”

Loki studied her as though the answer should have been obvious.

“You know nothing of me.”

“I know.”

“You have admitted that you believe me dangerous.”

“Potentially.”

“I possess abilities you do not understand.”

“Definitely.”

“And still you would render yourself unconscious within the same dwelling.”

Y/N leaned back against the counter.

“I have been awake for almost twenty-four hours.”

“That does not explain your lack of caution.”

“It explains most of it.”

Loki’s expression suggested that it did not.

Y/N rubbed both hands over her face, then pointed vaguely toward the hallway.

“My bedroom is through there. The bathroom is the first door on the left. You already found that. There are extra blankets in the basket by the couch, and the tap water is technically safe, even if it tastes weird.”

“You speak as though I am a guest.”

“You’re not exactly paying rent.”

His gaze sharpened. “Yet you leave me unattended.”

“I’m too tired to supervise a god.”

“You should not require supervision to ensure your own survival.”

Y/N considered that.

“Fair.”

She pushed away from the counter.

“If you do decide to kill me, could you try to do it before my next shift?”

Loki went completely still.

Y/N walked past him toward the living room.

“I have to be back at the diner tomorrow afternoon, and I’d rather not make them find coverage at the last minute.”

His chair scraped sharply against the floor as he stood. “You jest.”

“Mostly.”

“You believe I might murder you, yet your concern is your place of employment?”

“I hate inconveniencing my coworkers.”

“This is absurd.”

“I’ve been told.”

She reached the edge of the living room and bent to retrieve the blanket from the floor, tossing it over the back of the couch.

Loki followed more slowly, one hand briefly bracing against the table before he caught himself.

Y/N pretended not to see.

“I have more questions,” he said.

“I figured.”

“And matters I wish to discuss.”

She looked at him.

There was a strange insistence beneath the words. Not command, exactly. Something closer to reluctance, as though he had only just decided he wanted the conversation to continue and resented time for attempting to end it.

Y/N yawned.

“You seem like a talker.”

His expression tightened.

“I do not talk excessively.”

“You’ve interrogated me about my microwave, my job, college, why people put ice in drinks, and whether the mailman is an official agent of the government.”

“He wears a uniform and enters the grounds of every residence.”

“He delivers coupons.”

“A convenient explanation.”

Y/N smiled tiredly.

“My point stands.”

Loki folded his arms carefully, avoiding the bandage around his ribs.

“You dismiss me.”

“I’m postponing you.”

“You assume I will remain until you wake.”

She stopped.

The apartment fell quiet around them.

The first gray traces of morning had begun to appear through the blinds, striping the carpet and the side of Loki’s face with pale light.

Y/N looked at him for a moment.

There it was again.

That expectation hidden beneath the arrogance.

That everyone eventually left.

Or perhaps that he always did first.

She nodded toward the couch. “You said you can’t leave yet.”

“My circumstances may change.”

“Then they change.”

“And if I am gone?”

“I guess I’ll know you felt better.”

His eyes searched her face.

“You would not pursue me.”

“I don’t even know where Asgard is.”

“That would not prevent some.”

“I also have homework.”

Loki’s mouth flattened, but the answer seemed to settle something in him.

Y/N took another step toward the hallway.

He spoke before she could leave. “You have not answered.”

“Answered what?”

“Whether I may continue my questions.”

“When I’m awake.”

His eyes narrowed slightly.

“You expect me to wait.”

“I believe in you.”

The words came out so casually that Y/N almost missed the way he reacted.

Loki stared at her.

The guarded amusement vanished from his face.

“What did you say?”

“I said I believe in you.”

“You cannot.”

“Why not?”

“You have known me for only hours.”

“True.”

“You know nothing of my character, my history or my intentions.”

“Also true.”

“Then upon what do you base such belief?”

Y/N blinked at him.

“I believe you can wait until I wake up before asking more questions.”

Silence.

Loki’s face changed with the realization.

Y/N pressed her lips together. “Oh.”

He looked deeply offended. “You were not speaking of me.”

“I was speaking of you. Just in a very specific, low-stakes way.”

“You made it sound—”

“More meaningful?”

“I did not say that.”

“You thought I was giving you an emotional affirmation.”

“I thought no such thing.”

His answer came too quickly.

Y/N smiled despite her exhaustion.

“Sure.”

Loki’s jaw tightened.

She pointed at the couch.

“You can do it. A few hours without interrogating me. I believe in you.”

“You are insufferable.”

“You can tell me all about it when I wake up.”

She turned toward the hallway.

“Y/N.”

She glanced back.

Loki stood in the middle of her living room, half-dressed in damaged royal clothing, black thread visible along the seams she had repaired. The dawn light made him look less like a man who had fallen from the sky and more like something the night had reluctantly surrendered.

He seemed poised to ask another question.

Instead, he said, “How long?”

“How long what?”

“Will you sleep?”

Y/N glanced at the clock again.

“Hopefully until noon.”

His expression suggested that six hours was an unreasonable disappearance.

“You’ll survive.”

“That remains to be seen.”

She smiled. “See? You already understand my sense of humor.”

“I do not.”

“You will.”

Y/N continued toward her room.

At the door, she stopped and looked back one final time.

“Oh, and don’t use the stove.”

Loki lifted his chin. “I am not a child.”

“You stared at the toaster like it was going to challenge you to combat.”

“It made a sound without warning.”

“Exactly. No stove. I can’t afford another home.”

She stepped into her room. “And Loki?”

“What?”

“Thanks for not killing me tonight.”

His expression became unreadable.

“You presume restraint on my part—“

“Good night.”

Y/N closed the door before he could answer.

She did not lock it.

Loki remained where she had left him, staring at the thin wooden barrier between them.

A lock would not have stopped him.

They both knew that.

But she had not even tried.

From the other side of the door came the quiet creak of the mattress, the rustle of blankets and, after only a few minutes, silence.

Loki listened.

No hurried breathing.

No attempt to escape through the window.

No weapon being moved beneath a pillow.

She had simply gone to sleep.

He looked toward the front door.

He could not leave.

Not yet.

That was the only reason he remained.

Loki repeated this to himself as he returned to the couch and lowered himself carefully onto it.

The blanket Y/N had offered lay folded over the back. He regarded it with disdain before pulling it across his legs.

On the coffee table sat the glass of water she had prepared earlier, along with two white tablets and a note written on the back of a diner receipt.

For pain. Human dose, so maybe only take one. Please don’t die. I have work.

Loki read it twice.

Then a third time.

A faint, unwilling smile touched his mouth.

“You believe in me,” he murmured.

From the bedroom, Y/N gave a muffled snore.

Loki’s smile disappeared.

He settled deeper into the couch, prepared to wait until she woke.

He lasted eleven minutes before thinking of another question.

Loki lasted thirty minutes.

For the first ten, he sat upright on the couch with the blanket draped across his legs and his attention fixed on the closed bedroom door.

For the next five, he examined the objects scattered across the coffee table.

A stack of textbooks.

Several pens.

A half-empty package of gum.

The note she had left beside the tablets.

He read it once more, though there was nothing within it he had not already understood.

Crude.

Irreverent.

Strangely considerate.

Loki placed the note precisely where he had found it.

Beneath the coffee table, partly hidden by one of her discarded shoes, he found a small red ball. It was rubber, worn smooth in places and small enough to fit comfortably in his palm.

He leaned back against the couch and tossed it toward the ceiling.

The ball rose, slowed, then dropped neatly into his waiting hand.

Again.

Up.

Down.

Catch.

The rhythm occupied him for perhaps another seven minutes.

Then it became insulting.

Loki sent the ball higher, allowing it to nearly touch the ceiling before catching it without looking.

He had endured diplomatic councils that moved faster than this.

He had waited through Thor’s endless speeches, Odin’s silences and entire feasts during which no one said anything of worth. Yet somehow, waiting for one sleeping Midgardian to awaken felt uniquely unreasonable.

She had said noon.

He looked toward the clock.

Barely half an hour had passed.

Absurd.

Loki tossed the ball again.

Perhaps she was not asleep.

The thought arrived quietly.

He caught the ball.

Perhaps the entire display had been a deception.

She had been too calm. Too willing to leave him unattended. Too quick to accept his presence within her home.

No one behaved so carelessly without reason.

She might have retreated to the bedroom to contact someone through another device. She might be recording him. She might be waiting for armed men to arrive.

Midgard possessed organizations devoted to unusual threats. Loki knew enough of the realm to understand that much.

The woman had claimed her device could not reach anyone from the diner.

That did not mean the same was true here.

He glanced toward the narrow hallway.

The apartment remained silent.

Too silent.

Loki threw the ball once more and caught it with sharper force.

She may have been plotting against him from the moment she found him.

The skateboard could have been part of the indignity.

He placed the ball on the table.

Pain pulled beneath his ribs as he stood, but he ignored it. His strength had begun to return, though far more slowly than he would have preferred. The fall through the void had drained him in a way battle never had.

He crossed the living room without sound.

The bedroom door waited at the end of the hallway, closed but not secured.

No lock.

That, too, could have been deliberate.

An invitation designed to convince him she felt safe.

Or a test.

Loki rested his hand against the handle.

He listened.

Nothing.

No whispering.

No movement across the floor.

Only the faint hum of the air conditioner and a quiet, uneven breath from the other side.

He turned the handle slowly.

The door opened without a creak.

The room beyond was dim, lit only by the pale morning light slipping through the blinds. Clothes had been draped over the back of a chair. More books were piled beside the bed, one lying open facedown across the carpet.

A small lamp remained on.

Y/N was asleep.

Truly asleep.

She lay on her side beneath a tangled comforter, one hand tucked beneath her pillow while the other rested loosely against the mattress. Her hair had spread across the pillow in complete disarray, and the exhaustion that had been visible in her face earlier had softened into something peaceful.

There was no phone in her hand.

No weapon nearby.

No concealed accomplice waiting in the shadows.

She had told him she was going to sleep.

Then she had done exactly that.

Loki remained in the doorway.

The simplicity of it unsettled him more than deception might have.

She had been truthful from the moment he woke.

Painfully so.

She did not soften her answers to preserve his pride. She did not flatter him when he offered his titles. She admitted when she feared him and mocked him in the same breath.

She had not pretended that bringing him home was wise.

She had not claimed some noble destiny compelled her.

She had simply found him injured and decided not to leave him there.

Because she did not want bad karma.

Because she did not wish to be an asshole.

Loki nearly scoffed at the memory.

Nearly.

He stepped farther into the room.

Y/N did not stir.

She had no idea he stood there.

No awareness of how vulnerable she had made herself. One movement of his hand and he could silence her before she ever opened her eyes.

The thought brought no satisfaction.

Instead, Loki found himself noticing the faint crease between her brows, as though even in sleep some small concern followed her. The edge of the blanket had slipped from one shoulder, revealing the worn shirt she had changed into before bed.

There was nothing regal about her.

Nothing practiced.

No carefully arranged hair, jeweled gown or painted smile meant to secure favor.

She was simply herself, even when no one was meant to see.

Beautiful.

The word entered his mind without permission.

Loki’s expression tightened.

He looked away from her face.

That was foolish.

She was mortal. Ordinary. Exhausted from a night spent serving strangers and completing scholarly work in a roadside diner.

And yet—

He looked back.

There was something beautiful in the softness of her sleeping face.

More than that, in the honesty of it.

She had no mask.

No performance.

She had seen him injured, confused and stripped of every visible mark of rank, and she had still spoken to him as though he were neither monster nor king.

Only a man who needed help.

Loki disliked how much that pleased him.

Y/N shifted slightly beneath the covers.

He went still.

Her lips parted around a quiet breath. One hand moved across the mattress, searching absently until her fingers caught the edge of the comforter and pulled it closer.

She did not wake.

Loki released a breath through his nose.

He should leave her to rest.

Not because she had asked.

Certainly not because she had said she believed in him.

He simply had no further reason to remain in the doorway.

That was all.

Loki reached for the handle and began to draw the door closed.

Before it shut, Y/N murmured something into the pillow.

He paused.

The words were indistinct.

Then, more clearly—

“No stove.”

Loki stared at her.

She remained asleep.

His eyes narrowed.

Even unconscious, she apparently considered him incapable of navigating her crude cooking apparatus.

A faint smile threatened at the corner of his mouth.

“Insufferable creature,” he whispered.

He closed the door until only a narrow gap remained, leaving enough space for the light from the hallway to reach the room.

Then he returned to the living room.

The red ball still rested on the table.

Loki lowered himself carefully onto the couch and picked it up again.

This time, when he tossed it toward the ceiling, he did so more slowly.

Up.

Down.

Catch.

The wait remained absurd.

@wheredafandomat Been following her writing since I joined and will never let go. No idea how someone can write so much and so entertaining consistently, every crazy idea just WORKS and makes me laugh (and of course riled up:D) all the time. Everything is worth a read, for example the “Fear & Desire” Trilogy, “Dr. Laufeyson”, “Fiendish Pleasures” aaaaand “Chimera” (sorry love 😆❤️‍🔥)

@mochie85 The most beautifully written and touching Fics, incredible no matter if it’s fluff, smut or a bit angsty. I can’t count the times I was switching between sobbing over my broken heart or the cutest things I ever read. My emotional roller coaster 💚 The “Mayari” and “Creature Comforts” series are just a must, not to mention her oneshots of course.

@lokisgoodgirl All the good stuff, from smut to humor, wonderfully written. Wanna be super turned on? Read “Clandestined”. Also wanna die laughing at the same time? Read “Schooling Steve” (I still can’t get over desperate icebox 😂). Really every swing is a hit 👏

@chantsdemarins “Frost Secrets from the Other Son” touched me in so many ways I can’t even put into words. The writing just hits me every time and almost feels magical itself, can’t recommend it enough.

@asgardwinter Her Loki fic “Classified” and all the oneshots are amazing! Also gotta mention her Steve Harrington fic “The Divorce” I am reading at the moment and loving it 💕

@chickenfics “A Weekend Trip to Asgard” is one of the most lovely and best written Loki Fics I ever read, every chapter managed to bring me to tears as well as make me giggle to myself like a little kid. Just amazing and I still think of it all the time 🥺

@writings-of-my-own “Queen of my court/ King of my heart” was just a fucking beautiful piece and I feel like it didn’t get the amount of attention it deserved. Let’s change that ❤️

@the-lady-amphitrite I have all the feels for a young Loki, so if you do too, you have to read „A Fairytale Beginning“. It’s every bit as magical as it sounds with an original storyline I don’t come across every day 😌✨

@maple-seed Just discovered “Thrown”, which is an adorable and beautiful story taking place around New Asgard (I actually don’t know a lot of Fics taking place there, so I found it to be new and special 💕) and shows us Loki kind of adjusting in a domestic setting. 🥺

@darkficsyouneveraskedfor Made me realize I have a thing for Dark Fics (the more you know about yourself) and next to Dark Loki also a bit Dark Thor ⚡️ My first & still favorite fic is “Too much is never enough” but there isn’t a single of her fics that ever disappoints. Right now I'm obsessed with "Little Lies".

@grufflepuff-writes-stuff If you don’t know her series of oneshots “Loki’s Lullabies” by now, read them now. All of them. NOW. There are 250 and every single one of it is incredible.

@geminigirl0298 “The Course of True love” and “All the Kings Men” pulled me right in and never let me go. One is simply beautiful, angsty and fluffy, while the other also has darker themes I really enjoy, but also manages to be sweet at the same time.

@sarahscribbles Sweetest and hottest stories all around. I can’t even decide which ones to recommend, I love them all so much, but definitely read “Illicit Affairs” and “Dancing with the devil” for smutty, if you feel more emotional “Stay here one more time” 👌

@munsons-maiden Pure genius in all her writing. I started out with reading all her Loki Stuff, like "Beneath the bleeding Skies" and "Don't let me go". Recently she started writing about Eddie Munson and OHHH MY GOD, it is nothing but PERFECT. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. Read "Worlds apart" right now.

@britishserpent Exceptionally well-written and smutty fics all around, I recommend all of them, hands down. “The King of Jotunheim” got me especially, but you need to check out everything ❤️‍🔥

@gigglingtigger I am convinced you will fall in love with “The Finder of lost Things”, it’s got the kind of writing style that almost leaves me speechless. Her Loki switches between his moods and actions so fast but convincingly, the story will take you on a rollercoaster ride.

@ijuststareatstuffhereok89 Discovered this new and great writer not too long ago, “All the strange Creatures” immediately convinced me with it’s storyline and the way the main character is written, it felt different to a lot I’ve already read, in the best way of course. “Nights at the Circus” is also definitely worth to read!

@foruneyti Evaldrynn wrote one of the most incredible series ever, which you can find on AO3 with the same name as the blog here: „Foruneyti“. It’s super long and I read it in just a few nights instead of sleeping, because I couldn’t put it down. Gigantic recommendation!

@maiden-of-asgard Just one word: „Frostbite“. If the beautiful fic about Loki and In-Unga doesn’t get you, I don’t know what ever will. Go on to Jotunheim and explore this story right now ❄️

@whirlybirbs Next big recommendation is the series „From the void, with love“ - I discovered it way too late for how much I fell in love with it when I finally did. ✨

@cake-writes Aside from oneshots, I fell in love with her in-progress fics that made me emotional right from the start: "Wildflower" and "Honey & Glass", even if that one is just starting. But seriously, the writing amazes me in all of her works.

@lokiprompts / @lokiprompts21 Well the name is the game - from fluffy, to angsty or smutty, you will definitely find a great oneshot or series for you here! My personal favorite right now is "Melodies for Wellness".

@theaudacitytowrite And another great writer, where I could recommend anything and who also writes fluff, angst as well as smut! I like especially the oneshots "Amends with the Past", "Sweet Dreams" and "Poison".

@mistress-ofmagic “Around the Realms in 80 Days” is her first series and I think she’s already crushing the slow burn theme 👏 I love a good slow burn. Definitely check it out of you do too ✨

@andsheloved Super emotional fics that made me almost cry, especially her oneshot „A worthy try“ and the series „Perfect Illusions“ 🥺

@caffiend-queen

So what caught my eye months ago on AO3 and one of the first TVA series I read was “TVA? F.U.” - and you need to read it to. What NEVER left my mind again were her two chapters of “Do Not Say ‘Always After My Lucky Charms’ Or I Will Stab You” because they were damn hilarious 😆 right now starting “Sing, Banshee” and I’m already hooked 👏

@nildespirandum

I feel like everybody also reading on AO3 just has to have come across the smutty universe that is “Loki And Nora's Infinity Stone Playlist” (and of course “Nora and the Variants”) - just delicious smut all around every Loki lover has to read at some point, if this doesn’t get you all riled up nothing will.

@myoxisbroken

The short and sweet series “The river runs deep” was immediately one of my favs - I just have the biggest love for fics about reader getting the Avengers to include Loki more 🥺 and as I already mentioned I’m a sucker for a good slow burn, and “Samsara” is a wonderful one I wanna recommend!

-Definitely forgot a lot of people-

When I’m following your fics but you don‘t show up here: It simply means I lack brain capacity and not AT ALL that I‘m not fangirling about you.

If there is something you feel like I should read, either of your own or writers you‘d recommend, feel free to tag me or comment✨💚

Also forgive me for any mistakes here, I still don’t really know how tumblr works 👀

I’m not sure if it’s the smartest move to just edit this post with writers I forgot or to make a new post? I just figured having everybody on one list makes more sense so I started adding?

He watched as your expression turned sour and you escaped to the exit of the room before Loki could get too close.

With you suddenly out of the room, Loki wasn’t going to give up. He had to talk with you.

Room by room, hall by hall he searched for you. His determination was unwavering. Upon entering one of the rooms, he was kicked until he hit his back against the wall and had a blade pointed at him. This felt familiar and even if it was a little brutal, he wouldn't give it away if it meant being able to speak with you.

“What are you doing here? Following me, Prince of Asgard?” Your voice sounded a little different, Loki noted. The hormone therapy must have worked wonders on you, and somewhere inside he was happy that it indeed worked for you.

“Hey, hey. I would like to explain myself.” Loki didn't like the idea of raising his hand against you. Perish the thought, God of Mischief thought. As long as you weren't trying to actually hurt him, he wasn't going to do so either.

He pulled his hands up, wanting to show you he had no malicious intentions towards you. No magic, no daggers or knives.

“Explain yourself? Are you trying to amuse me?” You asked, your face didn't even flinch. The same sour expression on your face and Loki knew he was in trouble. “You did nothing when I needed you most. You promised to be by my side and yet, you allowed them to humiliate me and lose all the things I worked so hard on.”

Loki knew you were hurt, even if it was hidden behind the anger and hatred.

“I know and I apologize. But you must understand, I was terrified of Odin. I was in enough trouble at that time, if I spoke against him…” Loki averted his gaze before sighing and looking at you once more. “Who knows what could have happened to me. Odin knows no mercy, especially to those like me.”

“Like you? And what are you then?”

Another sigh escaped Loki's lips, he moved a little closer and observed the way you stepped back, the hold on the handle of your blade tightening.

As Loki stretched his hand towards you, he allowed for the facade to fall. His hand turned blue, markings showing on it while he carefully watched your reaction - how your eyes showed all the hatred you held for him and how suddenly you were unable to hide the fear you felt.

“That explains a lot, doesn't it?” He murmured, his tone unwavering. “Why there was more pressure put on me and why I couldn't fit in until you arrived.”

“That doesn't…” He noticed the slight panic in your eyes, how much you didn't want him to make you feel like all those years ago. Your blade was lowered as you were taking in the new information, and Loki used that to get a little closer.

“My darling…” Loki had whispered as he came closer, his hand gently touched your scarred cheek. “What have they done to you? Life hasn't been kind to you, has it? How much I wish I was there to protect you.”

“Don't act like you care, alright?” You pushed his hand away while Loki tried to act as if it didn't hurt him to see you push his affections and care away. “If you cared, you would have done something.”

“I did and I still do, my sweet.” His expression was soft, just like his tone as he spoke to you. “I managed to get the throne. I was planning on having an illusion of Odin whose job was to give the crown to me at the right time. Right after I was going to bring you back to be my right hand. Or a fiancé if you gave me the chance.”

Loki sighed again, seeing you weren't believing him.

“But you did not get my letters, I am assuming?” He asked and suddenly you were the one against the wall. “I sent you so many letters, hoping we could meet and talk. I was hoping we could get back, that I could fix things.”

You let out a huff. “Did you really think I was going to stay on Asgard after your father humiliated me?”

“I… I do not know what I was thinking back then. All I was hoping for was a letter from you, but I cannot blame you for hating me.”

“What are you doing here, then?”

“I got here by accident as I was pushed off the Bifrost while going back to Asgard.” Loki explained. “I promise you that I did not come here to forcefully bring you back to Asgard and hope for a happy ever after for us. But I have to say that… I missed you terribly.” He finally admitted, his voice breaking as he said so. He nervously picked at his hand.

Something about that vulnerable look in his eyes reminded you of Loki you had met all those years ago.

You sighed, still wanting to be mad at him. “Just go. I don't want to see you right now.”

“_________?” Loki asked, his hand stretching towards you as he tried to touch you again.

“I said go. Please…”

Loki knew that this was too much for you right now, that you needed time. “Of course. I hope to see you around. If you need anything, let me know.” With that he left you all alone in the room.

The next few days have been a lot for you. With Loki's presence around you felt uneasy, you could feel his stare on the back of your head even if he meant no harm towards you.

It just felt so weird being so close to someone, yet so far away. You didn't want to say it out loud or even admit it to yourself but you missed him. And you secretly hoped his words were true because even if he betrayed you all those years ago, you wished that he genuinely cared for you as much as he promised to do so.

You noticed how free he seemed on the Sakaar and how close he got with Grandmaster. It made you wonder whenever it was going to bite him in the ass sooner or later.

But you kept living your life, trying to act as if nothing changed.

Until Thor came to Sakaar and things got more complicated. One prince of Asgard? Tolerable. But two? Something must have happened that Thor was suddenly there.

But Loki was stubborn and he wasn't going to give up just yet. Not when you were at his fingers tips after all those years when he worried what happened to his little love.

He was observant as always, so when during one of the parties you suddenly disappeared, he was quick to search for you.

He found you sitting on the rooftop peacefully, enjoying the night sky and the view of Sakkar. Even as a mostly garbage dump, the city was a place to look at with its tall, uneven buildings or colorful lights coming from down below.

“Would you mind a company?” Loki finally spoke up after taking in the view. You only took a look at him over your shoulder before patting the spot next to you.

Loki smiled softly as he sat next to you by the edge and enjoyed the view with you.

“Something has happened at the party?” He looked at you. Loki knew that you knew how to protect yourself, but if you asked - one word and he was ready to throw it all in your defense.

You shook your head quietly. “No. Constant parties get overwhelming after a while. And what better place to have a little breather than this?” You gestured towards the view. “But what do you know? You seem to thrive.”

Loki chuckled at your words and he indeed was enjoying his stay at Sakkar. “Yes. I do seem to thrive here. Although it is hard to thrive fully when there is a little Asgardian in the back of my mind.”

“Do not start, Loki.” You quickly decided to cut him off. Your voice didn't sound angry or cold like before, but rather dull and quiet. “The last thing I need is you trying to flirt with me.”

“Right. Of course.” Loki straightened his back.

The two of you sat in silence for a while until Loki decided it was time to break it.

“What happened after my father banished you…?” He was scared to ask, worried about what kind of thing had happened to you.

But nothing hurt him more than your shaky breaths and unsteady voice as you told him what you went through.

From the shame that came from the humiliation, to everyone on Asgard knowing of what happened and pointing fingers at you. Then how one night you decided to escape and by accident found yourself on Sakkar and how you fought to get to the spot you were currently in.

It was hurting Loki to know that his lack of courage that one day was enough to turn your whole life upside down.

“There are no words that can express how much I regret that I allowed this to happen.” The guilt was eating him alive. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

You shrugged quietly, letting yourself calm down.

Loki bit on his bottom lip as another silence fell.

“And is there anything I can do for you to take me back?”

“Desperate to see those sparks in my eyes?” You tried to joke, but it was still clear you weren't feeling the best.

“Honestly? Yes, I suppose I am.” Those words put a smile on your face. Even if he hurt you, it was still nice knowing he cared about you and how you perceived him.

“I also finished the book series.” He added, seeing how your head almost snapped at the mention. He saw a smile on your face, the sparkles in your eyes.

“Did you? What did you think?”

“The last book was my personal favorite. Even if the characters did fall apart and were forced to work together, I was happy to see them do their best to fix their relationship.”

Your expression softened. “I agree… it was nice seeing that even after what happened they were able to overcome the past and make a better future for themselves.”

A few more days have passed and suddenly Thor joined the two of you on this mess of a planet.

He noticed you at the party, but you didn't feel like coming to say hi. Which was understandable after what he did to you all those years ago.

But then he disappeared, Grandmaster tasked you, Loki and Valkirie to find him and the pet. And you, lucky or not so much, were first to meet him amongst the people on the street.

“Your Majesty?” Those were your first words when you bumped into him, old habits die hard.

Alongside him was a much smaller man, who awkwardly said hi.

“It has been a while.” He murmured, he wasn't the noisy prince you once knew. “You have changed since the last time we saw each other.” He added.

“Yes… a lot of things have happened since…”

Thor let out a hum, looking away from you and moving to the less crowded street and you followed after. “I can imagine. I know maybe this is not the best moment for it, but I am deeply sorry for what I did all those years ago.”

You saw Thor chuckle a little at the way your eyes widened. “Is that so much of a surprise? Did you think I would stay noisy and annoying for the rest of my life?”

“I don't… well, it was hard to tell at the time who you were going to be.”

His hand landed on your shoulder and he patted you in a friendly manner. “The short time I had no Earth taught me manners, if you would believe it.” His face was a little more serious. “I should have known better. Whatever happened in the past was something I shouldn't have brought up, even if my curiosity was eating me from the inside. Your past shouldn't have been my interest and I apologize for hurting you so deeply that day.”

To say you were shocked would be an understatement. You weren't sure what to say. You just stood there, analyzing what Thor had said and if he was being sincere.

“I hate to disrupt you, but I believe we should move.” Said the other guys and Thor nodded.

“Right. Are you going to join us?” Thor said before moving through the street, trying not to be seen while you followed after him.

“Join you in what?”

“Saving Asgard.” He added. “Loki did not inform you?”

“No?”

“Better now then never.” Thor added before nodding his head towards the guys that was with him. “This is Bruce Banner. Apologies for introducing you so late in the discussion.”

You had doubts about joining Revengers. Even if Asgard was your home, you were too scared to actually go there. You helped as much as you could.

But somehow under all the fears, the feeling of responsibility for the safety of your home laid.

And your legs carried you to look after a ship to steal. And besides quite a few ships, there was a little remote and a God of Mischief that didn't look too comfortable on the floor.

Grabbing the remote and pushing a button you freed Loki of the agony he was and allowed him to catch his breath.

“Thank you.” He said as he took his time to stand up.

“We need to stop meeting like this. You seem to get in trouble almost every time I happen to bump into you.” You let out a fond snort.

“Maybe if I had a Guardian to look after me, I wouldn't get in half as much trouble as I usually tend to.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere.” You rolled your eyes. “Anyway, how did you…?” You gesture to him.

“Let's say I was about to make a decision my brother was not fond of.”

“I see, nothing out of the ordinary then. And when were you going to tell me of Asgard being so close to turning into a living hell?”

Loki sighed, he knew you were going to ask him sooner or later.

“I thought you wanted to leave that place behind.”

“I might have, but that doesn't mean I stopped caring.” You answered, not trying to hide, you were a little frustrated.

The awkward silence fell for a few moments. You pinched the bridge of your nose.

“Does the care expand to…”

“I will zap you, I swear.” You warned, and Loki immediately put his hands up.

“No zapping needed.”

“And if it is? Will you learn your lesson then?”

“You're avoiding the question.” He said in the sing-a-sing tone.

“I am not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Hey, are you planning on jumping on the gigantic space ship or did you just happen to fight here by accident?” A voice took the two of you out of the fight.

Looking at the person who said it you saw a rather tall Kronan and a bunch of other people by his side.

“You look like you are in desperate need of a charismatic leader.”

“That's exactly what I thought. Lead the way, captain.”

With a gesture, Loki invited them towards the ship, before you grabbed him.

“The talk is not over.”

“I am quite aware. I hope to find you by the console.”

And so you did. The ship was soon amongst the stars, Asgard still not in view just yet.

Loki took a seat in front of the console, while others were looking for some weapon, and you stood by Loki, intensively watching him.

“You might drill a hole in my skull if you keep staring at me like that.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

Loki sighed, putting some button on the holographic planner until a chair came in for you.

“Sit and we shall talk.”

You look at a seat by him, taking in the vast cosmos, its stunning colors and the stars that shined brightly. And then you looked back at Loki, he was clearly focused on getting back on Asgard.

“I really didn't expect you to care about Asgard. You were treated poorly for as long you could remember because of who you were. Why would you want to ever fight for it?”

“I could ask you the same. You were treated just as poorly if not worse because you weren't blood related to the family that you grew up with. Why should you care? You could let it die, let Hela rule all she wants or even let Sultur destroy it until it's nothing but a memory of what it used to be.”

Loki glanced at you, before looking back and sighing before him.

“I could and you could too, huh? Not all memories from Asgard are all pleasant, but if I have to be honest… It is still my home. Even if I hate to admit it, even if I feel out of place, I care. And I believe it deserves better than to be turned to a land of misery or be turned into nothing but flames.”

You let out a soft hum, looking up as a familiar kingdom started coming into view.

“You know it too, do you not?”

“It deserves better.” You murmured, feeling a little nervous. “I just hope they don't…”

A cold hand found its way onto your own. “They will not. Things have happened that cannot be erased or forgotten, but you can always work for a better future.” He smiled, giving your hand a small squeeze. “Now, why not give my horns to me? I should look presentable as Asgard's savoir.”

“You're overly dramatic.” You snorted lightly.

“Presentation matters. You have a pleasure to see what kind of clothing I prefer to wear. Many things change, but not all.”

The fight was hard on its own, but seeing what Asgard became hurt even more. As the Asgard became nothing but a memory, you felt both guilt and relief. It was a confusing combination.

As you tended to your wounds, you heard someone knock on the door. “I am a little busy.”

The doors opened, realizing Loki who joined you inside the room and sat by your side.

“I thought you flew away and felt us all behind.” You commented, and then cursed under your breath when the bandage on your arm didn't want to stay on.

“I could not.” Without a second thought, Loki gently bandaged the wound. “I just got you back. I would be a fool if I decided to leave you behind after all those years.”

“You’re not going to look for another kingdom to rule?”

“I could, but if you are not by my side, then who shall tell me of the good books or sneak out with me in the middle of the night because of my whims calling me?” He glanced at you before finishing bandaging your arm.

“I don't think there are many people who would do that. You seemed to have a pretty specific type.”

Loki laughed softly. “I do. But how could I not? I have met the perfect man, why should I look for anyone else when he's right in front of me?”

You smiled at his sweet words, his charms did not seem to rust over the years.

He grabbed your hand, his fingers fitting between yours. He looked right into your eyes as his voice became a little quieter.

“Do you believe there is a chance we could overcome what has happened and work for a better future for ourselves?” He asked, awaiting your reaction.

“I… I believe so. I cannot promise that I will be swooned as quickly as I was all those years ago.”

My eyes closed as I felt a push that made me fall and when the counter stopped, my hands could only go to my face in fear, no shot hit me and a hand touched my shoulder making me jump scared.

Calm down, are you safe - Dae-Ho spoke in a low voice making my hands go down slowly looking around - Did I hurt you? Sorry if I pushed you too hard

I'm fine - I looked at him barely with agitated breathing while Jung-Bae looked at me worried - thanks

You don't have to thank me, why did they leave you outside? I thought they were your friends - Dae-Ho helped me up pretending to be upset

They didn't kick me out, I gave my place to Geum-Ja, she deserved that place more than me - I looked at him sighing annoyed feeling the intention of his comments

You are very brave girl, I couldn't have done it - Jung-Bae looked at me touching his chest in a sign of concern - the good thing is that we were able to find you in time and you are here

As soon as I nodded I approached the small gap in the door, it was my chance to do it because I knew that Hyun-Ju would never let me do it if I was with her.

Standing on my toes to reach the little open space in the door, I could see how they picked up the bodies, one by one putting them in black boxes decorated with pink bows and they took them away piled up without caring.

The sound of the door ringing was my signal to run out of there, looking around at unfamiliar faces while hearing murmurs and laughter from those who were crazy, I walked through the people not caring if I pushed anyone until in the distance I could see Yong-Sik and Geum-Ja hugging each other, behind them Hyun-Ju standing looking at the floor while wiping her cheeks with the sleeves of her sweater.

HYUN-JU - I screamed with all the air left in my lungs making everyone turn their heads towards me as I ran splashing blood with my feet from every bloody puddle I crossed - Hyun-Ju!!

Her eyes widened, her legs buckled as she ran and she could barely hold herself up when I collided with her in a hug and her arms surrounded my body so tightly that it made my bones ache

Are you okay? Did they hurt you? - her hands took my face looking at me while I trembled - did they do something to you?

No, no I…I'm fine - I smiled at her taking her hand looking at her dark eyes

Don't do that again, you heard me? Never do something as stupid as that again, they could have killed you, I told you to stay by my side and I want you to always be there, understood? - her chest rose and fell breathing heavily while her lips trembled and her eyes mixed between fear and anger stared at me without letting go of my face

I understood..- I gave her a slight smile nodding

My little one…are you okay - Geum-Ja ran slowly hugging me tightly - you shouldn't have done that for an old woman like me, they could have hurt you

That doesn't matter, we're fine okay?..- I smiled taking her hand looking at the others- come on…we have to go to the platform

This time we walked carefully, as if slipping on the blood was the worst thing that could happen to us and ruined our green outfit.

This time don't separate from me, understood? - Hyun-Ju took my hand again standing next to me, this time interlacing her fingers with mine while I just nodded slowly looking at our hands nervously

The children's song started once again, the platform spun and I, like everyone else, looked around looking for the closest door to run to as soon as the game stopped

''2'' the speaker spoke making everyone run

Run, run! - Hyun-Ju pulled my arm almost tearing it off my body as she ran with giant steps compared to mine, pushing anyone in front of us until she reached a green door that she opened with such force that it seemed to rip it off the hinges and then made us enter leaning her back against the door to prevent anyone from opening it - we did it…

I just nodded tiredly, taking a breath as I leaned on my knees trying not to faint

Y/N..who helped you last round? - she looked at me curiously after a couple of minutes in complete silence

Dae-Ho and… Jung-Bae - I looked at her sitting on the floor - the truth is I still don't know how they did it, I just felt a push and when I opened my eyes I was inside

I'm sure it was Dae-Ho… - she looked at me smiling slightly and then looked at the floor and when she heard the door lock and the shots she quickly walked away sitting next to me hugging her knees

Do you forgive me for… leaving the room?.. - I looked at her timidly getting closer trying to see her face between the strands of her hair

I'm not upset… it's just that… I got scared okay? One second you were by my side and the next you ran away without saying anything…

I did it for Geum-Ja I…

I know you did it for her and that's very brave but how was I supposed to stay here without you? -she looked at me again with her eyes annoyed but full of something that I didn't want to confuse with love- if they killed you how was I supposed to stay in this damn place if they took away the only thing I have?

The.. only thing you have?..- I looked at her curiously while she lowered her head again hiding her face between locks of hair

Nothing… I didn't say anything…

Yes you said it.. what do you mean by that Hyun-Ju?.. what do you mean by…

that you are the only reason why my heart has found meaning to keep living… that I'm not supposed to feel this way because I know that you will never feel the same for me but I do and I feel selfish for that do you understand? - her tears ran slowly down her cheeks with her lip trembling

You're even more selfish by keeping those feelings to yourself…because then…I would have never known that you feel the same way I feel about you

No…don't say that just because I'm crying - she give a small laugh wiping her tears

Then stop crying and say it again…I like you Hyun-Ju and if that's wrong I think it's worse that we're doing this for money…don't you think? - I smiled at her trying to break the tension making her laugh again while wiping her face looking at me embarrassed with her cheeks slightly flushed

Me too…I like you…- she smile shaking her head looking at the floor- it's very stupid no? I went through all this transition to end up falling in love with a girl..

It's not stupid… if you feel that being a woman is what you are, I don't see anything wrong with you being happy, anyway we won't be the first girls to form a nice couple - I smiled at her taking her hand leaning on her arm closing my eyes feeling peace among so much chaos

When we go out, think twice before making the decision to go home, okay? - her cheek rested on my head sighing calmly

Only if you take me to see Thailand…

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So…if you're a girl…and she's a girl…you're…

Mom!…Shut up already - Yong-Sik looked at her sadly while Hyun-Ju and I laughed looking at the confused woman - that's not a question, it's disrespectful

It's just a question, you spoiled brat, don't you dare tell me to shut up, I'm your mother - Geum-Ja looked at him angrily hitting his arm making him fall on the mattress of his bed

We just like each other - I smiled at her crossing my legs on the mattress sitting next to Hyun-Ju

Yes but…how do you like her? She's not a woman yet, but she's not a man either…it's like in between, you know…what part of Hyun-Ju do you like? -The curious woman looked at me trying to figure out my head making me smile

Well…

Y/N..-Dae-Ho's voice made us look towards the stairs as he approached us rubbing his hands - Hello..everyone - the boy smiled embarrassed - I just came to ask if you were okay, it's just that after the last round I couldn't find you anymore..and I was curious..

I'm fine..thanks - I smiled barely, being kind for the act of having helped me

Well, I'm glad -he smiled looking at the floor without stopping rubbing his hands- if you're still a little hungry, we have some Gimbap if you want to come

She's fine - Hyun-Ju raised her voice making both of them look into each other's eyes

Yes, go back to your bed son, she's fine Hyun-Ju is taking good care of her girl -Geum-Ja smiled innocently making Dae-Ho clench his jaw nodding looking Hyun-Ju in the eyes before turning around and going back to his team

Mom…you don't know how to keep your mouth shut again - Yong-Sik sighed covering his face sighing annoyed

It wasn't long before we heard screams and commotion coming from the bathroom and after a while a song would play on the speakers followed by a voice

''These are the eliminated players, player 230, player 268, player 299, player 331 and player 401 eliminated''

What happened? - Geum-Ja looked at us without understanding as did everyone around who looked at each other

The bathroom doors opened, two soldiers entered followed by players covered in blood, some walking with difficulty, Nam-Gyu making a fuss while arguing between both teams making us all get out of our beds to do a count again

Hyun-Ju..-I looked at her with fear squeezing her arm- I don't have a good feeling

Me neither..but don't worry nothing bad is going to happen to you - she looked at me giving me a fake smile while we stood in the crowd of team X

Gi-Hun counted, over and over again making sure not to lose any player, in the end we had only lost 2 people and we were 1 ahead of team O and while he told us things about the previous game he also came up with a plan.

He talked about making a plan, defending ourselves because he knew that those from the other team would attack us and to get out unharmed we would have to hide under the beds, then when most of them were dead we would attack the soldiers taking their weapons and we would look for a way out.

His plan didn't make me feel more than that it was a suicide mission, how was it possible that we would overcome trained soldiers with loaded weapons, my mind only overthought and created catastrophic scenarios where we would all end up dead

Are you okay? - Hyun-Ju whispered in my ear bringing me out of the trance just making me nod - are you sure?

I don't think it's a good idea - I looked at her whispering without interrupting Gi-Hun and after a while and while the speaker announced that in 10 minutes the lights would go out each one decided to go to their bed, this time, we both decided to go to Hyun-Ju's bed that was lower than mine to make it easier for us to hide when the lights went out

Believe me, we'll be fine - She whispered taking my hand - you don't have to do anything, we'll just hide and when the guards come in I'll go with them for the weapons

Hyun-Ju… I don't need you to always protect me, just because I'm a woman you and them shouldn't take care of me from everything

They may do it because you're a woman, but I do it because you're my woman, right? - She looked at me making me feel those fireworks inside me again, it was the least appropriate moment and everything in my head sounded a thousand times more exaggerated than normal making me want to throw myself off the highest bed into the void

I… I have to confess something to you - I looked at her nervously sighing deeply - I… I grew up with two brothers, one of them is a soldier and they taught me how to shoot, maybe it's not the same compared to your experience but… if you need someone else I'll join you okay?

No… I won't let you go fight against soldiers, are you crazy? - She frowned again, a sign that she was getting upset

We went in together and we'll come out together, right? You said that I would never leave your side…

''Players, the lights will go out in 10..9..8..7..6…''

Hyun-Ju..-i sighed in fear, clenching her hand under the covers - If we don't survive tonight…

Stay calm, I promise… I… - it was now or never, in 5 seconds the lights would go out and if we were attacked there was the same chance of surviving or dying, the same chance of leaving together or never seeing her again, my head was spinning overthinking again trying to convince myself that I shouldn't be afraid, I wasn't afraid when I left that room to be shot, I shouldn't be afraid now.

My trembling hands took her face and as I closed my eyes my lips kissed hers leaving us both frozen

''5..4..3..2..1…''

I love you - I whispered barely separating from her without being able to look at her face because of the darkness around us

And I love you…let's go…

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We have an impostor…guess who?

Today i just write a little, my hands still hurting by the accident i have but i can't resist anymore, Thanks for reading, I'll be back soon!

Tag List!

Hours passed, one after another as groups of 5 people entered after passing the tests, time was exhausting, hearing gunshots in the distance and watching as the greedy people got upset every time the door opened again and again

I had already gone back and forth from my mattress to the steps, I sat down and lay down bored looking around feeling the irritation on my ankle more and more, the guard had tied it so tight that a red irritation had started to appear on my skin

Ouch - I said barely touching my ankle feeling the burning that was irritated even more by the friction of the fabric

Are you okay let me see - Hyun-Ju approached slowly sitting down a couple of steps below taking my foot carefully - did you twist your foot?

No, I'm fine - I looked at her embarrassed, trying to avoid her gaze, but her firm and large hand held my foot, looking at me - it's just a scratch, I think

Let me see - her touch went from firm to soft and delicate, slowly lifting the fabric of my pants, showing the red and irritated mark on my skin - I see, your skin is very sensitive, are you weak after all?

Hey, I'm not weak - her laugh made me laugh with her, pushing her a little while my leg rested on her knee - Hyun-Ju… can I ask you something?

Sure - her smile was still kind as she carefully folded my pants up, making sure the fabric didn't touch the irritated area again

Why are you here? Do you need the money for something? - Her face seemed to turn even paler than it already was, her smile blurred and her eyes looked at the floor in shame, as if she had asked the most embarrassing thing on the planet - If you don't want to tell me, I'll understand, excuse my intrusion

No… it's not that - she sighed slowly swallowing saliva and then looked at me with a look of embarrassment - my… my goal is to get to Thailand

Thailand? Do you need to go on vacation or something? - I smiled at her naively excited, thousands of times I had heard about that country but I still had not had the fortune to know it

No..- she smiled mocking a little at my foreign innocence - I…I need to go finish my transition you know..

Transition?..oh..I..understand Hyun-Ju sorry I shouldn't have asked you something so personal

Don't worry - she smiled a little moving her fingers nervously playing with the green fabric - it's just that…nobody is ever interested in my story and it's a little difficult for me to tell it

I understand…well..- I looked at her going down a couple of steps until I was sitting next to her looking at her attentively - if you want you can tell me, I would like to meet Hyun-Ju - She laughed with her eyes a little wet looking to the other side trying to hold her breath - do you work?

I worked… - she sighed again, this time deeper, dropping her shoulders - I was fired from my job when… well… I decided to tell everyone what I really am, they were ashamed of me and, they fired me

They are bastards, that is not right or even legal, what does your identity have to do with your ability, they are ignorant - I snorted angrily clenching my jaw - it must have been a dumb job after all, right? You must not have missed much

I was a soldier… - she looked at me, moving her legs nervously - a sergeant to be more exact, after they fired me my mother cried a lot and my father was ashamed, they don't talk to me anymore, my friends stopped talking to me and… - her voice broke off as her lips trembled - and everything became difficult and lonely

I understand, the people you trusted turned their backs on you - I looked at her feeling stupid, I shouldn't have forcing her to open her feelings like that, now I felt guilty for making her cry because of my silly curiosity - but… Hyun-Ju - I smiled a little taking her hand (which I could barely hold a couple of fingers of her big hand) I can be your friend, I would have loved to meet you somewhere else and be able to help you feel better about yourself, after all you haven't done anything wrong, being yourself makes you very brave

That's why I want to go to Thailand, I've heard that in that country there are the best doctors and the prettiest girls, I would love to be able to complete my transition and finally be what I want to be - her eyes showed a sparkle when she talked about it, her illusion overflowed through her pores

You don't have to go to Thailand to feel like that, for me you are already beautiful - my arms surrounded her as soon as the sobs began to come out of her chest and her hands covered her face saddened by crying, she was so fragile, my arms could barely surround her shoulders while her head rested on my shoulder sobbing and shaking - if you want to cry do it, people have been very cruel to you, but never cry out of shame, you have nothing to feel disappointed in yourself about.

This time, the shots didn't seem so dangerous and time passed without feeling it so slowly, she was a magical being that made me lose track of time

You are also very pretty, since I met you, I felt your bravery but also your heart, not everyone shows what they have inside and makes it look so valuable - her hands slowly wiped her tears taking care not to ruin her eyeliner and her diva bangs

It's not time to get sentimental - I laughed pushing her slowly while I got up adjusting my blouse going down a couple of steps - I'll go to the bathroom in the meantime

Do you want me to accompany you?

No, I'll be fine, wait for me here don't go anywhere - I laughed walking across the large space in the center of the beds feeling everyone's gazes.

They followed me and whispered, some laughed and others even said uncomfortable things waiting for me to react upset, they made the path very difficult to the door which was empty and as it was supposed, almost all the guards were in the yard even while the game continued.

The bathroom was big, with lots of cubicles and mirrors, almost uncomfortable to look at, like those endless and gloomy backgrounds, I could barely walk without tripping over to one of the toilets, sitting down uncomfortably listening to the door open once again, this time the footsteps of several people echoed in the almost empty place and a couple of laughs broke the silence and then a loud bang on my door made me jump scared, quickly pulling up my clothes

-I know you're in there, naughty girl, get out of there - the boys' laughter echoed off the walls, how could I have gotten into the wrong bathroom - get out you damn bitch - A loud bang again made me jump scared, unlocking the door with fear and opening it slowly

What did I tell you, the foreigner was here - the purple-haired boy laughed leaning on the bathroom door almost joining his face to mine - what are you doing here, cutie?

Nothing, I'm done - I looked at him, barely trying to get through quickly, scared, feeling a clumsy and strong hand pulling my hair

Come here bitch, I'm not done with you - this time his strength made me slam against one of the bathroom doors, making my back hurt - we know why whores like you come to our country, they come for sex and attention from us, don't they?

That's right, my friend - the long-haired man laughed, pressing his sweaty face against my cheek - she smells good, tell us, darling, what is such a pretty and sexy girl doing with that damn homosexual monster, huh?

She's not a monster, she's my friend - I looked at him, annoyed, tired of continuing to deal with men like him, but despite trying to get out of his hands, I couldn't - her name is Hyun-Ju, that's what they should call her

Oh, how cute, so you're a fucking weirdo like that effeminate? You like faggots, huh? - He laughed, hitting my cheek, making me scream in pain- You know my friend Nam-Gyu liked you as soon as he saw you, don't you like my friend? He's a real man

Leave me alone - I could barely speak when I felt his hand on my neck, pressing me against the door

Leave you? Honey, we're just getting started - the rapper laughed with his friend - do whatever you want to her Nam-Gyu, show her what it's like to be with a real man

My screams could barely be heard a couple of centimeters away, his firm hand on my neck and my crying didn't help much, feeling his disgusting hands running over my body, under my shirt and on the elastic of my pants made me feel even more of an idiot, this was all my fault

Shut your fucking mouth, you're distracting me - another blow again, this time on my lip leaving me stunned - hold her tight, she won't stop moving

I could feel the cold air on my thighs as they pulled down my pants and laughed talking disgusting and meaningless things, everything seemed to get even more dizzy, everything looked blurry until my body fell to the cold floor and again I could react, my tears wouldn't stop running down my face but I could notice the rapper and his friend lying on the floor, the latter Nam-Gyu wiping his bleeding nose

This will be the last time you approach her, is that clear? - Hyun-Ju hit him once more, slamming his head on the floor, leaving him unconscious - If you touch her again, I'll kill you, you fucking idiot, I'll kill you!

The purple haired boy ran hysterically almost tripping over his shoulder, not caring that his friend was on the floor, and I felt so humiliated, lying in a corner of the bathroom crying with a bleeding lip. If only I had listened to my parents from the beginning, I would have never come to this country and this wouldn't be happening. It was all my fault.

Calm down, sweetie, here I am - Hyun-Ju was much taller than those two men, her body was still strong and thick, but her presence was so calm and gave me so much peace that I couldn't feel intimidated by her.

Her hands, careful as always, held my pants, slowly lifting them up until they were in place, then they went to my face, checking my bruises and moving my hair out of my eyes so she could see every inch of my skin.

Sorry… - I looked at her embarrassed, feeling my tears running non-stop, I felt so humiliated and dirty that I couldn't think of anything else but that everything was my fault

You don't have to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong, no one will do anything bad to you anymore, I promise - her arms held me, she never asked me to stop crying or forced me to calm down, she just let me take it all out in her arms, rocking me slowly - let's go outside

But… - I looked at her with fear, shaking her head

Nothing bad will happen, I promise, as long as we're together I'll take care of you, okay? - I could feel my hair being brushed by her fingers slowly and carefully

Ok… - I sighed wiping my eyes with my sweater getting up slowly holding on to her arm so I wouldn't fall, luckily when we left the lights were almost off and most of the people who were already in their beds were getting ready to sleep, thank god without paying attention to us as we crossed the large space in the center

Let's go to bed, tomorrow will be a new day and we must be focused - her hands held my back slowly, making me go up the stairs carefully taking care not to trip - do you want me to help you with your shoes?

No.. - I looked at her embarrassed sitting on my bed taking off my sweater carefully while she stood rubbing her hands nervously

Okay, if you need anything, I'll be in my bed, just call me okay? -She smiled lightly at me, almost invisible because of the darkness of the place, but I could feel it, she made me feel those nice things

Hyun-Ju…-I held her hand quickly while she stopped almost tripping- can you… stay, I'm afraid to sleep alone

Do you want me to stay here? I can watch you if it makes you feel safer -she went back up a few steps sitting down carefully

You can sleep with me, we'll both rest and take care of each other- I could feel my cheeks erupting again while I held the blanket so she could come in with me

Are you sure? I don't want to bother you…

I'm sure, come - I smiled at her, barely feeling a pain in my lip, she just lay down carefully, her body almost taking up more than half of the bed but her presence was so calm that it made me feel like everything was perfect again

I didn't understand why I felt that way, safe and loved, with honesty and without being hurt

Thank you Hyun-Ju…thanks for saving me

Thanks to you, sweetheart, you saved me in a different way,

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THE obvious tremble of your hands rattled the small pills inside a small plastic bottle. Your face was turning blue, it's as if you couldn't breathe. You held the bottle tightly, your fingers removing the lid clumsily in panick, causing some to scatter on the floor. Disregarding the small mess you created, you took as much pills as your fingers could pick, stuffing them inside your mouth.

With no water around you, you grabbed a bottle of alcohol on the table, and swallowed the pills along with the alcohol despite the burning feeling you felt on your throat.

A few minutes later you regained your breathing, finally able to relax your tense body on the soft cushion of the chair you were sitting on. As you regained your other senses, you couldn't help but frown. The music blasting, shouts of the people coming from different directions, and the smell of tobacco reeking the air, mixing with the smell of alcohol was making your head throb.

It's been three days since you refused to fall asleep. No matter how much your body begged you to, you couldn't do it. Not unless those nightmares that kept haunting your mind vanish.

You think you're just small steps away from going insane. Everything seemed to have turned out to the worst after he—no, she left. It's as if she casted a curse on you, turning you into your current miserable state after what you've done to her.

Although, you knew she would never do that. Someone like her couldn't. Maybe, you're the one who put the spell onto yourself in compensation to the pain you've caused her.

You couldn't get her image out of her head. But it's as if she tattooed her own image onto your brain, impossible to erase nor remove no matter how much alcohol you downed yourself in.

You wanted to call her.

"F*ck this... I miss you so much," you muttered under your breath. Breathing heavily as you felt your head throb much more harder.

Then, a sudden thought and urge hit you.

'I need to call her'

Although you felt hesitant to do it, the longing feeling inside you outweighs the latter emotion.

And despite knowing you're still under the influence of alcohol, you're sober enough to know what you're doing. You're certain enough that this is not something you'd regret in the morning, but something you'd be glad that you've done.

Your eyes immediately went to look for your purse, your hands automatically grabbing it as soon as you found it on your side.

You took a long inhale, exhaling it as your fingers touched the cold item. The dark screen of your phone lightens as you tapped it twice, displaying the happy image of the two of you in a sweet pose. Both of you on the side with your arms around her neck whilst hers on you waist, kissing your cheek as your face smiled widely— it's almost as if it would reach your ears.

Tears began to form in your eyes, cursing yourself for your own stupidity.

You unlocked the phone— her birthday as your password.

So many missed calls from her.

Now, this made you feel more horrible about yourself. But now was not the time for that. You felt the urgency inside your head to call back and do one absolutely thing. To apologize to her, a certain someone in your life that you shouldn't even be angry and blame in the first place.

But before you could tap the call button, you received a call from a certain number you knew so well.

It was her, Cho Hyun-ju.

- fin -

The day you turned 22 will forever be ingrained into the catacombs of your mind.

It wasn’t a good thing. 

Weeks before that wretched night, you passed the Jedi trails and you were finally a Jedi knight. After many failed attempts and tears, you finally felt relieved knowing you were going to be who you wanted to be.

Although deep down, you felt the uncertainty of your thoughts itching at the back of your mind. constantly, reminding you of your doubts and not to trust any of the Jedis and padawans.

Gasoline was added to your thoughts of uncertainty whenever you decided to fall asleep. Every night, you would lay awake, tossing and turning. The thoughts eating away at your brain while you laid restless in bed, afraid to succumb to the darkness that called to you.

An eery voice would creep out of the shadows, steal your breath, and crawl its way up your spin. Whispering about the chaos that was embedded in the lightness. Describing things in nature that always mirrored darkness. Going on and on about the sun that waits for the darkness of the moon.

The softness of light isn't the only way The desire of darkness can keep you at bay

This mantra was being whispered by an unknown individual as soon as you decide to get sleep every night. The voice haunting you in wakefulness and plaguing your dreams.

The only thing that could help even out your breath was thinking about your fellow Jedi, Qimir. The gracefulness and beauty of Qimir lulled you to bed every night, enabling you to get not more than 2 hours of sleep.

Your mind often used Qimir as an escape to hide away from those dark thoughts. In training and on missions, you thought about Qimir, trying to keep the darkness at bay.

Your heart wrenched, your pulse quickening as you blushed against the silk sheets that adorned your bed.

You mind conjuring up the smile Qimir threw your way that morning. God, you would be in deepest trouble if any jedi caught wind of you daydreaming of Qimir.

This morning, he knocked on your living quarters with a badly decorated cake in his hands. Even though the cake wasn't cute, you thought he was. And that’s all that mattered to you. The light smile that graced his features when you let him into your quarters brought sunshine to your darkest thoughts, and made you freeze at your front door.

That moment had been playing in your mind for a few minutes before the dark shadows clouded your consciousness one again. Grabbing one of your pillows, you screeched into it as you let out your frustrations.

Find the key and you will see Darkness will set you free

Having enough of the whispers that only grew louder, you navigated out of your quarters, and walked around the jedi temple on Coruscant for what felt like hours. Stumbling as the shadows continued to find their way towards you.

It was late at night, with dawn no where near the horizon. The night sky doing little to quench the uneasiness within your spirit. You continued to gaze at the moon, puzzled by its purpose as it brought darkness to the planet. You suddenly wondered how lonely the Moon felt knowing that it would never be able to meet the Sun. Knowing that it would never see the light. Knowing that it would only live in darkness for the rest of its days.

Your thoughts grew darker, matching the dark matter that graced the universe. It was minutes before you attempted to shake the destructive thoughts out of your mind. Lightly patting your robes in order to refresh yourself, you sensed a presence sneak its way up behind you.

Turning around, you were stunned by the presence of Qimir making his way through the garden. Seeing him this late at night caused unwarranted feelings to surface once again. The hunger grew restless inside of you, your eyes unable to stop themselves as they traveled down to his chest.

It was then that you felt something was a miss.

Briefly averting your eyes up, your heart wrenched as you saw the uneasiness weep out from his body language. The Qimir you knew always walked around free and never guarded his surroundings unless he was on missions.

This Qimir in front of you had the same attitude and demeanor of the Qimir you would see in battles. This Qimir was fearless and never stopped until he got what he wanted.

Qimir's hands lightly shook at his sides, the veins of his hands more prominent than usual. Your eyes zeroed in to the beads of sweat shedding from his crisp, black hair. The water making contact with the floors of the temple, creating a melodic beat. As if ready to start a song.

Sensing where your eyes were, Qimir’s fingers went up to wipe the sweat beads off of his forehead.

The gasp that escaped your lungs was like an alarm in the gardens. The oxygen in the air flooding your lungs at an alarming rate. Your back and legs freezing as you registered the blood on the sleeves of Qimir's robes.

Your mouth spoke before you could assess the situation.

"What did you do?!"

Your voice sounded foreign to your ears, the calm atmosphere shedding and taking a dark turn. The uneasiness in your voice did nothing to sway the sudden, dark glint in Qimir's eyes. His face transformed. His expression going from collected to smirking as his eyes navigated the features of your face.

The moonlight did little to hide the calculated footsteps Qimir took towards you, his hands crossing behind his back. His footsteps almost marching towards you. Qimir tucked his bottom lip underneath his upper teeth, his pupils relaxing in the moonlight.

The ice in your legs slowly thawed, finding a way to move backwards as Qimir attempted to invade your personal space.  Within seconds, your back collided with a random pillar in the courtyard. Your right hand paving its way to your light saber. Knowing you would reach for that first, Qimir snatched the saber out of your hands, a few tsk tsk tsk’s escaping under his breathe.

"I did what I had to do.." His face a few centimeters away from yours. Both of your breaths mingling in the cold night.

Drawed in by your expression, Qimir navigated closer, the tip of your nose lightly brushing against his. Your mouth salivating at the thought of what was about to come.

"After all…. the darkness will set you free."