I'm just a lil guy

if you lose your train of thought while talking to someone its because they reloaded the quicksave after killing you midsentence

american pope leo xiv please excommunicate jd vance because it would be so fucking funny.

girlie that's not a random headache u are dehydrated malnourished over caffeinated over stressed and sleep deprived

If you have Spotify reblog this and tag what your number one song on your “on repeat” playlist is.

be honest. are you guys only hanging out with me because of the prophecy.

my friend took in a stray and she’s the cutest kitty ever but he named her oil so whenever he sends a picture of her me and my other friends look like we’re roleplaying as the US military

“You should be at the club” I should at a shitty punk show in someone’s basement

immediately showering and furiously washing the blood off my hands after stabbing someone, not because i feel any guilt or remorse for what i did but because i have sensory issues

Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit

Look, there's this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. "Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze" no they don't, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.

The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive "philosopher's cocaine."

Elf Fentanyl works exactly the way cops think human fentanyl does

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

Baldur's Gate 3's random perception/survival/nature or whatever checks really have that feeling down of the DM saying 'roll a Perception check' -'11?' -'okay carry on' and you sit there going 'oh no oh fuck what did I not see oh no!?'

thr funniest part of therapy to me is when you first come in and you're exchanging niceties and they say "hello! how are you" and you say "im fine how are you :)" and then 30 seconds later they put on their therapist voice and say "so how are you doing?" and you go well lisa. believe it or not im doing Bad