meow.

“Can’t you be my little girl for a night?” Felix asked with a smile as he tilted his head, tossing the other’s hair over his shoulder so he could give him a little peck.  “Fine, but little tiny shorts and a crop top.” he hummed, giving the other’s rear a small tap.  He hummed as Ryan continued to kiss him. It was a little awkward, not having control, but he was happy just to have Ryan there. “Mm, you think you’re a tough guy, huh kitten?” he asked with a smile, squeezing at his rear playfully.

Felix curled up close to his boyfriend as he pulled him to the couch, his hand rubbing over the other’s calf, happy to be snuggled against him.  “Nope no more reasons, I’m not falling for it, Ry.” he purred playfully as he continued  dragging his fingers over Ryan’s pants, just happy to feel him and to be aware that he was really there. “We should run away.” he murmured.

“Mmm, I don’t need a sub maker. I’ve got my perfect sub right here.” Felix winked at him before he kissed him again playfully. He sucked at the other’s lower lip as he carefully pushed Ryan back against the couch, pulling his legs around his waist. He snorted at his words and rolled his eyes. “Uh huh. And I’ll love you even more when you learn to behave.” Felix teased quietly as he sat up  on his knees, looking down at the other. “Are you excited to see how boring my normal sex is?” he asked before playfully bumping his hip against the others. 

“Why do you want me to dress up as a girl so badly, huh?” Ryan asked between a laughing spell that echoed throughout the home. “Is my dick or my ass not good enough for you? Do you wish I was a little girl?” Ryan asked, making it obvious that he was joking since he couldn’t even ask his questions without laughing between them. Ryan moaned just a little as the man squeezed at his rear and he simply nodded and said, “I don’t think I’m tough, I know I’m tough, thank you very much,” Ryan then stuck his tongue out before giving his boyfriend one last peck. 

Once they were snuggled up together on the sofa, Ryan huffed once Felix told him that he wasn’t going to give into what he was trying to do. “Fine,” he huffed as the man ran his fingers along his pants. His next set of words made Ryan’s brows come together before he smiled softly. “Yeah?” he asked in the softest of tones, nearly a whisper as he ran the palms of his hands along Felix’s cheeks and jawline. “Run away to where?” he asked as he tilted his head just slightly to really look at Felix as he sat in his lap. It wasn’t often that Ryan had a chance to do this without being in his ‘little’ mode, and definitely not when he was being this affectionate. But he understood that before well, him and Felix had rules and boundaries, but now it just seemed like those kinds of things were out the window as the two of them were this close and personal, and in an intimate kind of way without even being naked or rubbing all over one another like sexual deviants. 

Felix hummed at the thought. “Maybe.” He said holding up a finger. “But we’re getting you in a rubber dress or something.” he hummed. “It’ll be real artistic, you’re not just gonna be another kitten.” he promised with a big smile as he wrapped his arms around Ryan’s waist, rubbing at his lower back gently. “I’m excited to see how this all works out.” he admitted softly as he bumped their foreheads together, before giving him a little kiss.

“I just love cookies, okay? I love sharing them with people. Don’t be a punk.” he grumbled, putting his hands on his hips and pouting. “I’m obsessed with you because you’re my muse and I care about you a great deal.” he teased, poking at his back playfully.  He rolled his eyes at the other’s joke though, looking more disappointed than anything. “You’re so dumb.” he murmured, shaking his head, letting out a laugh after a minute. “Mm, no. I’m just your daddy. You know you love saying it.” he teased as he reached to squeeze at the other’s ass again before he pecked his lips. “You couldn’t stop yourself from saying it if you wanted to.”

“Yeah she will. She’ll be obsessed with ya.  She loves blokes with long hair, plus she loves a good ass. She’s where I get it from.” he winked at the other before pecking him on the lips once more. “Mm, you worked at a sub shop? That’s….wow. I can’t imagine that at all. They must have been so lucky to have you there.” he said, not even being sarcastic. He gave him another kiss, humming at the taste before he scooped him up again, wrapping his arms tightly around his middle before he moved them to the couch, sitting down with Ryan in his lap. “I won’t leave again. I’ll just drag you with me. Always, okay?” he murmured as he cupped Ryan’s cheeks, pulling him in for another long kiss.

“A dress?” Ryan asked and gave the man a confused look, with his brows pressed tightly together and lips pursed as his head tilted to the side. “Rubber I can get but a dress? I’m not a little girl,” he said and poked out his lip in a big pouty fashion. Sighing contently as the man rubbed at his lower back, Ryan’s pout formed into a smile as he nodded in agreement, kissing him just as gently and sweetly, Ryan brushed his nose against the older man’s, “So am I,” he said softly before pecking his mouth once more. He figured now kissing Felix was free game, since the man was now his boyfriend. And he only ever got to do that with permission, and it didn’t happen often so Ryan was soaking it all up and taking advantage of the privilege. 

Ryan snickered seeing the pout on Felix’s lips, taking an arm from around his shoulders, Ryan instead poked at the man’s bottom lip. “Don’t look so sad,” he said as if he were speaking to a baby. “Are those the only reasons why? Or are there more?” Ryan asked, trying to fish for more compliments and affection. It was something he had been craving and aching for since Felix went away to handle his business back in London and Ryan had been left to think about this big commitment that they had decided to make. Cocking a brow up, Ryan asked, “You wanna bet?” in regards to the man saying he couldn’t not say daddy. Sure okay, he was right, but Ryan was always up for a challenge if he was honest. It’s why he had pushed Felix way too far the one night the man slapped him in the face, he liked pushing his boundaries. And now seeing Felix so angry, Ryan was definitely going to be pushing his buttons just because Felix was so damn beautiful when he was pissed off. How he managed to do it, Ryan had no clue but he wasn’t complaining. 

“Oh God we’re going to have to find a couples costume now, huh? That sucks. Maybe I’ll get you into one of those puppy costume. I bet you’re look so cute.” his deviant mind wandered as he imagined his boyfriend in latex. He even looked him before before smiling back at the man and pecking at his nose. He was happy to feel the latter press into his hands when he grabbed at his ass, even letting out a soft chuckle. “Aw, you did miss me, huh, kitten?” he asked with a cute smile before he bumped their noses together, giving him a cute little nip. 

“You already know I’m a huge cheeseball, I don’t want to hear it from you.” he grumbled, rolling his eyes some as he rubbed at the boy’s thighs. “You know I’m a nutso. I make you fucking cookies every day.” he joked, rolling his eyes some as he continued staying snuggled right up to the other.  He rolled his eyes again though as RYan called him daddy. “Mm, I’m your boyfriend and your daddy. Aren’t you fucking lucky?” he teased as he continued nipping at the boy’s pale neck, sucking there sweetly while his head was rubbed.

“I’d still love you, but I’d miss it a lot.  I love your hair. I’d miss it a lot. I’d have nothing to pull you by.” he shrugged as he pulled back to watch him, giving him a sweet smile. “Mm, I don’t think she’d hate you. She’d like you. She might try and make you work at the shoppe though. She runs like a deli.” he explained with a chuckle. “Makes the best sandwiches in Liverpool though….and the most beautiful children.” he said, pointing to his own face.

“Or, or, hear me out,” Ryan started off and held a finger up. “I could go as a kitten, you know since that seems to be my infamous nickname for you. I’m no Raphael, so I’m nowhere close to a puppy,” Ryan said with a cheeky grin, hoping maybe that’d get them somewhere and Felix would give into the idea. “Mhmm,” the younger boy hummed with a grin a mile wide on his face. He was truthfully in disbelief that any of this was real, and this was just some dream, Felix would be gone and he’d wake up and be alone again. He didn’t want it to be, and he knew in reality it wasn’t but it just felt like none of this was real. Considering that this wasn’t even in their plan to begin with. 

“Hey, you’re the weirdo that gets up everyday and says ‘oh my, I think I wanna bake Ryan some cookies’ like, why are you so obsessed with me?” He joked as his long and lanky legs wrapped around Felix’s waist as he held the man close to him. “Okay, but if you’re my boyfriend does that mean you upgrade from me screaming out daddy while you’re fucking me to father? ‘Cause that just seems like it’s a thing,” he said trying to keep a serious face as he said it, but damn was it hard. He just really wanted to get a reaction from the older man while he could, and he needed to practice on his seriousness anyway - he’d been to a go-see here and there whilst Felix was away and they all told him the same thing. ‘You look childish’, ‘You need to work on keeping a straight face’, ‘You need to work on giving us high fashion model looks not some kid posing in front of a camera’. Was it hard to hear? Of course, but - that’s what happened when you were in a modeling world. 

 “It’ll be great. Everyone will wish they were us, honestly.  Maybe we should buy fat suits.” he thought outloud as he hummed. “Is that offensive? It’s probably offensive. Nevermind.” Felix rambled quickly though he stayed snuggled up to his boyfriend, unable to pull himself away. He was cuddly. He couldn’t help it. He missed his boy. It’d been a long week after all.  He even playfully grabbed Ryan by the assk and picked him up. He held him for a moment before placing him against the counter with a smile.

“Right right. No drooling. Stop it Felix.” he said smacking at his own hand before chuckling. “God I think I’m so funny, you are so lucky.” he teased next as he leaned between Ryan’s legs, taking his turn to rest his head on Ryan’s shoulder, giving him little kisses at his neck as he curled up against the other. “Hah, you thought I was a softie before though. You better be prepared.” he smiled, before giving the boy a nip.

He watched as Ryan shook his hair out and shrugged at his question. “You knew it was gonna come out. I love your hair.” he reminded as he continued playing with it, even scratching some at his scalp as Ryan spoke.  “Aw I’m sorry you were sad love. I promise I was just as sad.” he nodded, bumping his nose against Ryan’s quickly as he rubbed at his side. He pulled back to smile and nod. “Yeah? You’re gonna finally see what awful taste I have, aren’t ya?” he asked with a laugh. “I’m excited for the big dates too.  Like when I take ya home.”

“Oh my god, I’m not wearing a fat suit. Unless it’s Halloween and we get those inflatable sumo suits,” Ryan said with a little giggle. “But I prefer looking sexy on Halloween, so if we can maybe make a sumo look sexy we’ll talk about doing that,” the boy said and planted a peck on the man’s lips with a smile following after. Feeling the playful grip on his ass, Ryan took it upon himself to roll his hips back against the man’s hands and smiled. He had missed this, missed having the man touching him and just being with him. He just fucking missed Felix and he knew that he didn’t want to be without him again, even for a short period of time. 

Once his man settled between his legs, Ryan wrapped his arms around the older man’s neck and held onto him, fingers lazily roaming over his buzzed hair that he had definitely grown to like more than he had the first time. “Oh don’t tell me you’re one of those big cheese balls like in the romance movies,” Ryan said with a little grin creeping on his face, not that he’d mind that since well - he’d never had anything like that before. He’d never had a Felix before, and this was something he was really looking forward to. “I am lucky though, I know you joke but I really do feel extremely lucky that I get to call you mine and not just my daddy,” Ryan said with a little giggle as he leaned down just enough to press a few light pecks against the top of the man’s head, humming as he felt the nip to his neck.

“We’ll get fat and old together. We’ll hate each other but we’ll still have the cookies, yeah?” he asked with a big smile.  He couldn’t help but giggle at how Ryan huffed while he ate his cookies.  Even after the boy wiped his face there was still a little milk. Felix took that as a sign the man needed his help. Obviously. He leaned in to give him a playful kiss, making sure to get all of the milk off before he pulled away with a smile.

He wrapped himself around Ryan, snuggling him up as they kissed each other, their noses bumping against one another. “I’m so glad you’re mine. I’m going to treat you so good and I’m going to never take you for granted.” he breathed  as his fingers cupped at Ryan’s jaw, pulling him in for another peck, before he kissed both of his cheeks and pulled away once again, chuckling some. “Sorry…I think I dribbled on you.” he snorted as he wiped his own lips.

He smiled and snuggled up to him, his hand moving to take out Ryan’s bun and instead pet through his long hair, thankfully not getting his hand caught in knots.  “Oh thank God, because I’m too tired to spank you.” he laughed, giving the boy’s cheek a kiss. “I told you I’d give you time…but notion taken. If I wanna get spanked just run away.’ he teased the other. “I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend….wow that’s so weird to say, isn’t it?”

“Sounds like the absolute dream to me, babe,” Ryan replied with a laugh to follow. Just imagining him and Felix fat, it was comical for the moment, but of course Ryan’s inner voice was telling him already that eating these cookies wasn’t going to last much longer and he wouldn’t be holding them down. But for the time being he was trying to keep that voice toned down and just enjoy this moment with his now boyfriend. Ryan couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, this was something he could definitely get used to, the affection... it was something that Ryan truly needed. And he was glad that it would be Felix giving it to him.

Ryan couldn’t stop smiling the more he stood there in Felix’s arms - it felt weird, but in a good way. Because Ryan knew the other man would take care of him and treat him good, that he’d make sure that he was happy and wouldn’t just use him to release his anger on and that was an incredible feeling considering that he came from such an abusive relationship. It was scary, because Ryan was worried that he’d mess this relationship up, or that he’d do something to make Felix want to be abusive with him - but he assumed those insecurities came because of the ex. He was brought out of his thoughts when he felt Felix kissing him again, gaining some giggles from the younger boy since the man had kissed him pretty much non-stop since he agreed to being his boyfriend. Not that Ryan was complaining, but it was just nice to see Felix like this. “I’m real glad that you’re mine, too. Really, really, glad. But if you keep drooling all over me I might have to rethink my decision,” the younger boy teased as he leaned in and pecked Felix’s lip, biting lightly at the man’s lower lip and then pulled away with a cheeky grin.

“London is awful. I wouldn’t runaway there….Italy? Maybe.” Fel joked with a soft smile as he watched the boy before him, letting their fingers play together for a moment. All he wanted to do was lean in and kiss him, but he stopped himself, instead just staring at the younger’s lips, as they stood in a slightly awkward silence until the later began speaking again. 

He let out a chuckle and shrugged at him. “Maybe.” he teased. “I just like cookies and I know you like cookies too.” he shrugged as he took a bite of it before  he moved to pour two glasses of milk. “I figure this is our forever.” he said in a dramatic voice before he chuckled. “And yes, I did have a crush on John Greene once. I don’t need to discuss it with you any further.” he teased with a bug smile. After he smacked his own face he felt Ryan’s fingers wrap around his, and he swore his heart melted at the butterfly soft kisses to his knickles.

He listened, watching as Ryan explained himself. He nodded at his words, biting at his lower lip. “I want all of that with you.” he whispered. “Deal.” he added before he cupped the man’s cheeks pulling him into a long kiss. Then finally he smiled and pulled back just so that their lips weren’t touching. “Sorry I missed that a lot.” he laughed quietly as he wrapped his arms around Ryan’s shoulders, snuggling him up. “But I’m still gonna buy you shit, and I’m still gonna spank you if you annoy me.” he teased, giving a cut nip to his cheek. 

At the John Greene reference Ryan let out a loud and quick ‘ha!’ and shook his head at the older man. “If this is our forever I’m completely content with that. Who doesn’t like coming around to having almost always freshly baked cookies? No one sane I’ll tell you that,” Ryan said with a little smile as he grabbed one of them, tearing a little piece of it off and popping it into his mouth whilst breathing a little in between chewing as the cookie was still a bit hot. Grabbing the glass of milk, he took a sip of it and wiped with the back of his hand where he knew there’d be a white mustache would be.

Ryan was relieved when Felix agreed to what he had to say, that there wasn’t a big argument about it that would lead them in quite the opposite direction; he did want Felix and all of Felix. There was just something about him that drew Ryan in, perhaps it was because he was just as fucked up as Ryan was. It made Ryan feel less crazy about himself, two perfectly imperfect people that seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces, something Ryan had never had. Jackson was just abusive, never made Ryan feel good about himself unless he was in a mood where sex was the one thing on his mind and he could get that - but even so, it was awful more often than none. Sighing contently into the kiss with his nostrils, Ryan’s arms moved to wrap around the man’s frame and held him tightly against himself. 

Felix smiled at him as he took the moment to look him over before he carefully stepped forward, pushing some of Ryan’s loose hairs behind his ear. “It were alright.” he shrugged as he tilted his head at the man. “A little boring. I was more nervous about coming home than anything else though.” he explained with a shrug ae he brushed his fingers against Ryan’s simply wanting to feel them. 

When he realized what he was doing he let out an awkward laugh and pulled away, moving to put the cookies on a plate. “Chocolate with peanut butter cups.” he announced as he slid some the other’s way.  “And it’s good chocolate, not American.” he chuckled as he crossed his arms onto the counter and leaned into it. “And I got you some clothes. I mean even if you say no, I’d still like to um…to work with you and stuff or at least you know refer you.” he rambled, always the pessimist.

He glanced up again then, watching Ryan. “Do you say no?” he asked quietly, biting at his lower lip. “I mean it’s fine if you do. I just…” he started before rambling. “I wouldn’t want anyone else,right? I just want you. And …and I’ll work on myself. Fuck I’d go to therapy for you mate. And since….since that break down or whatever I haven’t snorted a damn thing and God  I sound like a loon.” he finally quieted down as he smacked at his face.

“Yeah? I was a bit nervous you wouldn’t come back to be honest,” Ryan admitted softly. And it wasn’t because he thought Felix would just flee, but he was afraid that the man would realize that he had feelings for the likes of someone like Ryan and Ryan knew that this wasn’t his thing. He tried not to let it be his own thing, but everything just took a turn and it was a lot to take in at first, but Ryan really had the time to weigh out the pros and cons of all of this. Glancing down as he felt Felix’s fingers brushing against his own, Ryan locked his index finger with the other man’s in a rather loose grip before he pulled away.

“Is this your way of keeping me? Fattening me up with all of these cookies so no one else will want me,” Ryan asked with his ever so playful grin that seemed to be very apparent around his lover spread wide across his face. Ryan leaned against the counter on one of his hips and looked over at Felix as he began speaking about having things for him, and when he jumped to the worst Ryan couldn’t help but to roll his eyes at him. Ryan took the man’s hands in his own after the man had smacked at his own face, pressing light pecks against his knuckles. Ryan looked up at the man and shook his head. “It’s not a no,” he started off, speaking softly. “I just have a few things I want to establish and make clear if there’s going to be an ‘us’. I don’t want anyone else, and I know I can’t stop you from being this big dom that you are but... I can only hope that it’ll be the same. Like photograph naked people all day I could care less, but I am begging you to not sleep with anyone else,” Ryan said as he gave the man’s hands a light yet firm squeeze.

Felix was a little more than nervous to come home. The entire uber back to his studio his foot shook, earning a few complaints from the driver whose seat shook because of it. He had no idea how Ryan was going to react or what he was going to say.

When he got home he invited the boy to come over, before he, per usual, began nervous cooking. As if on cue, as soon as he pulled the cookies from the oven, the buzzer began to ring. He peeked out of his window and couldn’t stop himself from smiling at the boy. “Come up through the back it’s unlocked.” he called out, giving a little wave.

“Fuck.” he breathed as he shut the window and looked around to his glossy apartment, suddenly terrified that everything was wrong. He rushed to tidy up the already perfect looking loft until finally the back door creaked open. He swung around quickly and stared with wide eyes. “Uh. Hi.” he whispered,.

@dtfryvan

Ryan had been thinking about the entire situation for the last week, he truly gave all of this a lot of thought because well, he didn’t want to be hurt again. He didn’t want to be someone’s punching bag, nor did he want to have someone mentally scar him as his ex Jackson had done time and time again. Ryan was fragile, there was a lot to him and he knew he was a lot to handle which was another reason as to why he was thinking about this long and hard. Felix was a photographer, he was big in the business and Ryan didn’t want to tie him down with his problems - yet Felix was the first person he thought to text or call when he was having a problem, no matter how big or small.

This was all complicated since the two of them said they weren’t the type of people to get into relationships, yet as time went on it seemed that those feelings changed. Ryan tried not to let it happen - but he noticed it as soon as he found out that Felix had another little, one that Ryan fucked nonetheless - and he found himself a bit jealous and worried over it all. Fearing that Felix would like him better and realize that he could do better than Ryan. However, whilst Felix was away Ryan finally made a decision; he knew exactly where he wanted this to go and he hoped that Felix wouldn’t have changed his mind about it all.