BlitzBitch

*slaps generic alley anime background*

Imagine a lot of people only met the current Gaara. The soft spoken, ever patient, always the pacificist and peaceful Gaara. While they know he is strong because he is Kazekage after all, but people still under estimated him. So talks about him being terrifying sounds farfetch as best.

Until someone decides to test it.

Shikadai: Uncle Kankuro?

Kankuro: Yes?

Shikadai: Was uncle Gaara this terrifying the whole time?

Kankuro: flashbacks

Listen.

Hashirama attracted two of the strongest people of his era, he had game

Obito failed so hard he couldn't kiss a photo with two of his crushes and the only chance he got with one of them was after they both died

Might Guy can work gay miracles. He made Madara, a known Hashiramasexual, hard for a hot second and became Kakashi’s husband through a positive attitude and spandex

Madara had to lose his brother and will to live to move in proximity of his crush, and that’s just the start. He spent like 80 years or something in a cave with a lifeless wooden copy of Hashirama, was thirsting for him even after death, and when he got resurrected the only move he managed to pull on him was to steal his senjutsu How can you fumble so badly with the guy who already was into you?!

Naruto ended up with a girl but not the girl he wanted and both his crushes ended up marrying each other which is not a win but I can’t really call it a complete fail either

My boy is actually good with words—

1.When Shigure the Ame genin calls Gaara a brat:

2.When Kimimaro says Gaara can't do anything without sand:

3.When Kimimaro says he will forever be with Orochimaru:

4.When Ohnoki says Rasa didn't teach Gaara manners:

5.When Ohnoki condescendingly lets Gaara ask anything:

Just side-quest after side-quest.

He's at a political summit in Iwa one minute, the next he's on a cooking show. He's a commentator for international sporting events, he's organising disaster relief efforts, he's making cameos in B-list movies, he's a member of the hokage's cabinet.

Naruto: Gaara Gaara GaAR-

Gaara, very calmly: what?

Naruto *forms an extra tiny rasengan*: look!

Gaara: that's... Cute. I guess.

Naruto *grins and prepares to throw the rasengan into a random direction*: