Flowers Grow Out Of My Grave

https://x.com/drunkwithdreams?s=21&t=4Lp072sbKK195UFsTUGzKw

trying to hang on to nothing

in a desperate attempt to feel something

we are not the choices we make

even when we break

from the crushing weight

of our doomed fate

i boarded up my home

but left the light on

reasons unknown

it matters not, for you won

my body the prize

seen through lustful eyes

i am a mere treasure

for your pleasure

your marks

your scent

remain and decay

for i have yet to wash away

my shame

swallow my regret

for i knew what i would get

more of the same

nothing changed

still i can’t let go

of the possibility you’ll show

a shred emotion

to my undying devotion

or is it desperation

to hang on to something

i saw red

felt my blood pump through my veins

my heart pounding out of my chest

i could not stop myself

even if i wanted to

pure rage in my eyes

venom in my mouth

could you taste it

see it

feel it

i hate you

whether real or not

your absence

still stings a lot

i miss waking in your bed

the coffee you got

just for me

a sweet gesture of something

whether it was for real or not

you meant the world to me

whether you knew it

the first date

the first hand held in public

displays of affection

the first i let come inside

the first sweet nothings spoken

the first to make me feel alive

the first to hold me

make me feel good

the first to give me your undivided attention

the first that understood

the first to make me feel wanted

the first choice

the first almost

you were my first