not beating the cunt allegations

Well I was going to watch the heartstopper movie but I just realized I don’t gaf about men’s mental health so I had to check out for the night genuinely peace and love on planet earth though

You know how on Netflix they tailor the icons for every movie based on what they think will appeal to you? So like if they know you’ve watched cobra Kai they try to sell you on he’s all that by putting tanner Buchanan’s face as the icon for the movie. We’ve all seen it we know they do this. Did you know that the level to which Netflix knows how hard I fw Millie Bobby brown has reached new heights. First of all everything she’s in on there they only show me her as the icon. I’ve actually never seen another version of the stranger things icon other than whatever one she’s on. Except for actually very recently when they put it to the generic season 2 poster. Which is fair. I’m out there watching season 2…. But for months it was just the one of el with mike and will on either side of her and I would always see it and go goddddd they know exactly how to advertise to me I’m SO fucked…. Anyway they know I’m an el girl so bad even the icon for the animated stranger things which doesn’t even HAVE millie in it the one they show me is that scene of el and will on that water tower or wherever they were. That’s crazy.

Lowkey forgot that hazel being captain hook’s daughter makes Harry her brother. That’s crazy. You think he’s just doing the accent as a bit?

Still just really annoyed about encanto being in descendants. Are we based on fairy tales or are we advertising for Disney parks…. Original descendants was obviously based on the Disney versions of the fairy tales but there was at least a pretense of it being based on fairy tales not just fodder for Disney franchising. Sort of once upon a time but dumbed way down for kids. That’s crazy to say but you know what I meant. And once upon a time lowkey also devolved itself into fodder for Disney franchising but I feel like after they sold out they tried to make a comeback and were generally successful in most ways. Idk it’s hard for me to stay mad at ouat for making a desperate bid for relevancy and selling out a little to avoid a premature cancellation. They still tried to keep it tight even when they were selling out we have to respect them for the ways they tried. That was not a good or popular or well received tv show and it was airing during the beginning of the streaming era and everything being canceled all the time. I forgive. But this is a different situation and it just bugs the hell out of meeee…. I’d say it’s because I’m old but genuinely only one year ago I was watching zombies 4 and crying my eyes out over nova bright so it really can’t be that I’m old… maybe if I’d seen encanto I’d feel differently? Idk. I don’t really want to go watch encanto just in the hopes it MIGHT make me like descendants 5 more that’s crazy. Idk. In conclusion. Weird to include encanto in descendants. Modern franchisement is the death of storytelling. And giving red a jakey ass boyfriend is crazy.

Ok the closing song and dance did charm me and the credits doing the thing the first movie does with playing different clips for each actor over a cute song was nice also. I like that it’s the song from the mulan credits even though that has fuck all to do with this movie. The ending number being almost a pairs dance but not explicitly a couples pairs dance was very d3 I liked it I liked how the four girls paired up with each other and the six boys paired up with each other instead of doing the early 2000s dcom dance number thing of making them all be in strict girl/boy pairings. I think that was a choice Kenny Ortega would be proud of. Now. Everything else about the movie…. Idk about all that. It was still very bad and mostly made me genuinely upset the whole time. But you know it’s true what they say you kind of can’t go wrong when you follow your heart and end with a song…. Can’t be too mad. And maybe I’ll like it more on a rewatch. I don’t know if I can do that though for a few days that was kind of emotional terrorism I’m gonna need to recover a bit.

Chloe voice what matters is that you still think we can be friends…. Red voice friends? No thanks. Best friends :)

Those girls need to patch up their shit asap so we can make descendants 6 where Chloe canonically goes gay and kisses hazel hook.

Chloe charming is like a friend I worry about

Ok well I guess I’m going to finish d5 now.

And I get that half the point of descendants is that it’s corny and silly but red is the daughter of the QUEEN OF HEARTS from ALICE IN WONDERLAND she’s a fucking legacy and Chloe is the daughter of LITERALLY CINDERELLA FROM CINDERELLAAAAA another huge giant legacy. And you want me to take it seriously when you say some guy is the son of. Luisa madrigal from encanto. A movie that came out genuinely five years ago that’s not even based on any classic fairy tale or legend. He’s not a fucking legacy bro get him the FUCK out of the main cast he’s pissing me off. The other boy in the hk friend group is the son of Robin Hood you could literally have just swapped them. It’s not like they wrote Luis or his dynamic with red with any depth anyway so who the actual fuck would care.

Everyone more knowledgeable about celebrity drama and controversy than me is a chronically online hermit and everyone less knowledgeable about celebrity drama and controversy than me is an obtuse moron who shouldn’t be allowed to post anything publicly. Btw

And that’s not even to say like. You’re not a Real Reader if you don’t read litfic. I’m saying you can’t be pretentious about reading if you don’t read a) classics and b) literary fiction. Or c) nonfiction. Plenty of people read and aren’t pretentious assholes about reading ok the people who are allowed to be pretentious are the people who are reading the big hard stuff for fun OBVIOUSLY

That girl on tiktok who said she hates ao3 because all she can find is stories with horrible things happening (such as underage sex, self harm, etc. whatever) and then she makes an offhand comment about the police needing to get involved. And then I go to her account because I’m like well what fandoms is she fucking looking in. She’s watching smallville she’s on season three of smallville. The show the show on the WB…. Well yeah if you’re reading fanfiction for smallville you’re gonna see people shipping the inappropriate age gap yaoi where one character basically canonically self harms…. Where do you think you are omg…. Reading the room at a preschool level Jesus fucking Christ