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you dont have to be anything

i’ve learned that you can be envious of someone, happy for them, sad that you aren’t like them, and happy you’re yourself. you can feel all the feelings.

I do feel like this whole self improvement culture thing can go too far where people are never happy with who they are and where they are because they’re constantly trying to be better or do better and they’re always waiting for some sort of glow up or achievement or therapy realisation that will make them feel complete but that isn’t real and life is actually in the every day

im a medically recognized narcissist and im still less of an asshole than 90% of the people i interact with

your life is not an optimization problem

as in you'll never achieve the perfect daily routine, sleep schedule, coping mechanisms, mannerisms, fashion sense etc. even after years and years of healing and improvement and self-discovery. you will never be so good at life that you manage to utilize every waking moment. its great to be productive and all but sometimes you'll suck ass. sometimes you'll take eight hours to be done with a twenty minute job. you'll prioritize the wrong thing. you'll sleep for 12 hrs just to avoid being awake. you'll relapse. and you'll relapse again. you'll forget to turn in the assignment. you'll order too little food. life is far too large and complex for you to even experience it completely, much less try to make sense of and control it. you can't. please give up on that and be at peace with the hours you lose. they are not separate from your life.