"The Angst Monarch"

While I appreciate the sentiment, I find it so frustrating to be told to do that in response to a systemic issue. Not everyone can DIY. I understand legality is kind of bullshit, but still, a lot of us cannot evade doctors forever. Once we start showing signs of masculilinization, we’ll get caught. Testosterone is a controlled substance, partially because yes, the people classifying it are transphobic, but also because a lot can go wrong. If you fuck something up or you get from a dangerous dealer and end up in the E.R. You get caught.

Not to mention, minors often cannot pay for DIY, have adults monitoring their purchases, and have adults who will notice masculinzation and put a stop to their kid’s DIY.

If you do DIY, that’s great! I appreciate your spreading resources to people who can DIY. But to shame people who can’t, telling us we aren’t brave enough, don’t want to be a man enough etc is is awful. You do not know our situation.

To add, if I may, in many countries, the rest of your transition is gatekept behind the same system T is. Great that I can technically put myself into medical, social and legal danger trying to regularly obtain a controlled substance on the grey market and homebrew some of my transition goals if lucky, but there is no DIY-ing surgeries or even legal name and gender change. (both of which are conditioned on having legal HRT and further sexologist approval in my country) So the "Why are you letting doctors cuck you? Pussy!" crowd ignores that such a transition would be in many cases literally unable to progress anyway without going to the doctor in the end, who now has more ammunition against you to potentially deny you your healthcare (some doctors do that even to people who seek estrogen HRT after being on DIY, despite estrogen being fully legal). So for many, the "official" route might be the only realistic one, and when it gets closed off, it's what we call here a fucking problem.

That's, of course, not to talk down to people who DIY. It's very cool to be able to provide something so sensitive and hard to get for yourself, and I'm genuinely happy that you're transitioning despite the system fucking you over. It's just... narratives about DIY being the miraculous cure to systemic medical transphobia are way off, especially when served in thick machismo sauce.

like the recent estrogen legislation. estrogen should never be made a controlled substance. everyone should have easy access to gender affirming care, including DIY. but when people try to spread awareness for this serious issue by acting like trans men arent as affected by institutional transphobia, it just becomes an argument about disinformation, because testosterone is ALREADY a controlled substance. I want estrogen to remain an uncontrolled substance because I want to save trans women from the bullshit than trans men have been having to deal with for over 30 years. and then you have a bunch of people arguing about this bullshit with each other while the law just plods on thru the government and everyone loses.

my definition of friendship had been "person i exchange pleasant interactions with", completely oblivious to friendship actually being a social contract with certain expectations and obligations tied onto it.

“Trans men have it so much easier” THE MEDICAL SYSTEM IS ENGAGING IN A MASS MISOGYNISTIC GASLIGHTING CAMPAIGN

WYM

The SCIENTIFIC INSTITUTIONS still treat femininity as our natural state

But since I’ve gotten too disabled to fight anymore, I… find myself coming back to that maiden in a tower. It’s that funny thing, where subverting femininity is powerful for the people who have always been forced into it… but for the people who have always been excluded, the powerful thing can be embracing it.

As I’m disabled, as I say to groups of friends, “I can’t walk that far,” as I’m in too much pain to keep partying, I find myself worrying: I’m boring, too quiet, too stationary, irrelevant. The message sent to the disabled is: You’re out of the narrative, you’re secondary, you’re a burden.

The remarkable thing about the maiden in her tower is not her immobility; it’s common for disabled people to be abandoned, set adrift, waiting at bus stops or watching out the windows, forgotten in institutions or stranded in our houses. The remarkable thing is that she’s like a beacon, turning her tower into a lighthouse; people want to come to her, she’s important, she inspires through her appearance and words and craftwork.  In medieval romances she gives gifts, write letters, sends messengers, and summons lovers; she plays chess, commissions ballads, composes music, commands knights. She is her household’s moral centre in a castle under siege. She is a castle unto herself, and the integrity of her body matters.

But I do want to point out that it's not quite accurate to say adults who come out are literally never treated the same way, because many disabled adults are likewise treated as property without autonomous rights. There are disabled trans adults who can't transition because their caregiver(s) who are in charge of their medical decisions don't think the disabled adult is capable of actually knowing their own gender. I've worked with several people like this in my job.

But I do want to point out that it's not quite accurate to say adults who come out are literally never treated the same way, because many disabled adults are likewise treated as property without autonomous rights. There are disabled trans adults who can't transition because their caregiver(s) who are in charge of their medical decisions don't think the disabled adult is capable of actually knowing their own gender. I've worked with several people like this in my job.