"The Angst Monarch" @drowninginredink - Tumblr Blog

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anti-parent

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

anti-parent

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

drowninginredink

I was trying to explain to myself why I find the term "ethical non-monogamy" to be so gross, and I found myself going "it's like, the lexical move from polyamory to ethical non-monogamy is the same as the one from genderqueer to non-binary, just, taking a messy and rebellious term and coming up with a respectable, academic-sounding one instead" and I think I just single-handedly convinced myself to stop calling myself nonbinary and start calling myself genderqueer. If nonbinary is the cishetallo-friendly buzzword to replace the hard-to-explain genderqueer, then fuck it, I want no part of that, I'm genderqueer

drowninginredink

This is also why I'm very much team original polyamorous flag, by the way. Oh, you don't like the flag that someone with zero design experience made in 1995 and, if I remember correctly, was literally made in MS Paint? The one that uses the pi symbol because the designer only had a handful of symbols even available on their computer? So we need to replace that authentically made flag that's older than basically every other queer flag you see except the rainbow one (and the letter flag, but well. Calling that a flag you see these days is just a lie) so we can have one that looks all 2020s and corporate and professional and smoothed over?

You don't like the polyamorous flag because it's ugly? Because the colors are bright and gaudy? It isn't palatable and pleasing to the eye? Well, guess what? Queerness isn't always palatable either. And no matter what you do with your polyamory, even the most respectable, closed triad that's easy to explain and understand, a lot of people are going to think it's just as much of a terrible eyesore as you see that flag. That flag is 30 years of polyamorous people being organized and proud and respecting each other when the world doesn't respect them. I think that's more important than making polyamory something pretty that you can hang on your wall.

(Full disclosure that I have the recent redesign of the polyam flag in my apartment and do not have the old one, but that is because the best flag is always the one you got for free)

drowninginredink

... As usual I will turn anything into an excuse to monologue about flags. I need a button that says "ask me about flags"

drowninginredink

I was trying to explain to myself why I find the term "ethical non-monogamy" to be so gross, and I found myself going "it's like, the lexical move from polyamory to ethical non-monogamy is the same as the one from genderqueer to non-binary, just, taking a messy and rebellious term and coming up with a respectable, academic-sounding one instead" and I think I just single-handedly convinced myself to stop calling myself nonbinary and start calling myself genderqueer. If nonbinary is the cishetallo-friendly buzzword to replace the hard-to-explain genderqueer, then fuck it, I want no part of that, I'm genderqueer

drowninginredink

This is also why I'm very much team original polyamorous flag, by the way. Oh, you don't like the flag that someone with zero design experience made in 1995 and, if I remember correctly, was literally made in MS Paint? The one that uses the pi symbol because the designer only had a handful of symbols even available on their computer? So we need to replace that authentically made flag that's older than basically every other queer flag you see except the rainbow one (and the leather flag, but well. Calling that a flag you see these days is just a lie) so we can have one that looks all 2020s and corporate and professional and smoothed over?

You don't like the polyamorous flag because it's ugly? Because the colors are bright and gaudy? It isn't palatable and pleasing to the eye? Well, guess what? Queerness isn't always palatable either. And no matter what you do with your polyamory, even the most respectable, closed triad that's easy to explain and understand, a lot of people are going to think it's just as much of a terrible eyesore as you see that flag. That flag is 30 years of polyamorous people being organized and proud and respecting each other when the world doesn't respect them. I think that's more important than making polyamory something pretty that you can hang on your wall.

(Full disclosure that I have the recent redesign of the polyam flag in my apartment and do not have the old one, but that is because the best flag is always the one you got for free)

ldioticisland-deactivated202401

it’s 11:59. Seconds before the clock strikes 12 and it’s officially my 18th birthday. “18 year olds and older, DNI” i post onto tumblr, swiping and killing half of my followers and mutuals. the clock hits 12. “Minors DNI” I post. going in for the second attack, swiping and killing the other half of my followers and mutuals.

the dust clears. the battlefield littered with bodies. only leaving the spare porn bot and sugar daddy. I’ll be celebrating my birthday alone this year.

ldioticisland-deactivated202401

what the fuck happens in deathnote

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I was trying to explain to myself why I find the term "ethical non-monogamy" to be so gross, and I found myself going "it's like, the lexical move from polyamory to ethical non-monogamy is the same as the one from genderqueer to non-binary, just, taking a messy and rebellious term and coming up with a respectable, academic-sounding one instead" and I think I just single-handedly convinced myself to stop calling myself nonbinary and start calling myself genderqueer. If nonbinary is the cishetallo-friendly buzzword to replace the hard-to-explain genderqueer, then fuck it, I want no part of that, I'm genderqueer

drowninginredink

I've been getting my meds flipped for vacation (I usually take the "morning" ones at night and the "night" ones in morning because night shift) because I'm going to be on a normal people schedule, but holy god it has just thrown me off so much that even after taking the night ones earlier than I wanted to, I absolutely cannot fucking sleep. Even though I'm too exhausted to think. And it would just be so nice if my brain was not this shitty and if sleep wasn't always A Thing

drowninginredink

Wait. I have not put substantial food into my body in a long time. Maybe that's the real problem here

I've been getting my meds flipped for vacation (I usually take the "morning" ones at night and the "night" ones in morning because night shift) because I'm going to be on a normal people schedule, but holy god it has just thrown me off so much that even after taking the night ones earlier than I wanted to, I absolutely cannot fucking sleep. Even though I'm too exhausted to think. And it would just be so nice if my brain was not this shitty and if sleep wasn't always A Thing

ndnbutch

sometimes i talk about how awful it was to feel trapped by my daily makeup routine and how i couldn’t leave the house without putting on a full face and it played a major role in the misery of my high school experience because i had to spend so much extra time getting ready in the mornings and that followed me into my early 20s as well and it was hell and it was so incredibly liberating to go through the slow and uncomfortable but ultimately essential process of getting my bare face back and having makeup be an optional accessory instead of a mandatory uniform. and the response always tends to be ah yes of course, because of your trans and your masculine. and it’s like aha so close! actually! I think if I ended up being a feminine cis woman I also still would not deserve even a second of that shit! I think trans women and nonbinary people and every human alive should have the option to leave the house without a single cosmetic product ever touching their face! but thanks for playing!

anistarrose

my futile wish is for people to understand that "sex scenes in movies/TV don't have to serve the plot and can genuinely just be for pleasure" and "sex-repulsed people are allowed to complain about how rare it is for media made for adults like them to be something they can enjoy completely" are both true statements. unfortunately society hates both sex and people who don't like sex, so everyone gets far too defensive about any sex or lack thereof in fiction to actually have this conversation

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nepenthean-sleep

like i genuinely do not think most people fathom how dangerous diabetes is. non-diabetics act like it's a punishment given to people for "not controlling themselves" or whatever eugenicist bullshit when it's a fucking autoimmune endocrine disorder. insulin resistance in type 2 diabetes can be caused by a billion things like medications or sleep patterns or inflammation or even fucking stress. it's not the "you're fat" or "you ate too much sugar" disease. a century ago, it was a death sentence. people die of diabetic complications all the time. people have to get limbs amputated because of diabetes. and insulin is so fucking expensive and diabetic medications like ozempic are being used for cosmetic weight loss and diabetics get made fun of all the time. like hello. fucking hello!!!!!!

#nurses do not grasp this even by the way #like #they know its dangerous #but it is still a punishment

jacquistheripper

i think what made count the rice so awesome (if ominous) is that it harkened back to game changer’s fundamentals which is the only way to win is by learning and the only way to learn is by playing. i love the game changers where they get no instructions and it’s more puzzle based because that’s what season 1 game changer was really founded on.

renthony

It's wild to watch the phrase "tumblr sexyman" morph into "man that tumblr thinks is sexy," because when I first saw the phrase come into use, I always saw it used in reference to the phenomenon of "when presented with a wide array of fictional characters, tumblr will always pick the skinny white man to obsess over, and if the fan-favorite character has no canonical human appearance, the fandom will inevitably create a popular fanon of the character as as a skinny white man."

When I hear "tumblr sexyman," I think of Cecil Night Vale being constantly depicted as a skinny white man instead of literally anything else. I think of the background character white men who get elevated over protagonists that are women, people of color, or otherwise not the white man power fantasy.

"Tumblr sexyman" is, like. An insult. I DON'T want any of my blorbos to win a "tumblr sexyman" poll. "Tumblr sexyman" is the exact opposite of what I want my own OCs to be. If any of my characters ever get called "tumblr sexyman," I will have to immediately re-evaluate myself and the art I'm making.

renthony

Things I think of when I hear "tumblr sexyman":

Cecil Night Vale, as previously mentioned.

Oncelercest, because if there aren't two skinny white men to ship, tumblr fandom will start shipping the skinny white man with himself.

Bill Cipher inexplicably being fanon'd as a white twink despite being a fucking triangle.

Everyone fawning over Marvel Loki while shoving every woman and Black person in the MCU aside.

The way nearly every single character in Hazbin Hotel has the same "tall and skinny" body type, along with all the criticisms Black audience members have made about the issues with Alastor's design.

The way tumblr got obsessed with the white man villain in Sinners.

#this is really interesting because I only came to tumblr post the shift in what it meant #and so while of course i knew tumblr would favor the skinny white guy over everyone #i did not realize tumblr sexyman was the name for this #which is annoying because it is a good name #anyway congratulations to Simon Ironlung for managing to become the tumblr sexyman of project hail mary #(yeah markiplier isn't white but he's more of a white man than a rock woman or black man so. it happened anyway)

twilanore

also can we talk about the game design of count the rice?? brilliant

the only challenges that require multiple people are at the beginning and end - at the beginning to allow the players to bounce around there for a bit before they realize they need to go down, and also at the end to ensure that a runaway player has to wait for another to catch up

count the rice itself, of course, can only be played with one player, so that players never actually have to count rice (if you had to wait for a second player at the end, then whoever got closest would win) (this is ofc not accounting for hannah pilkes)

the middle rooms are great too, because they are easy to intentionally fail, and hard to win. the spot the difference rooms are especially good, because you think you understand what it is (spot the difference between the two halves of the room), and this is seemingly confirmed when you successfully loose, but once you come back to try to win, you realize you did not actually fully understand the game. the placement of these is important, too - only players who were intentionally trying to lose got to those rooms. any higher in the sequence, and they might have had a player trying to win reach the rooms first, and then they'd realize the twist

and also the decision to split the rooms up? 2 and 3 in a separate space from 4-8, so players would assume there are only 3 until someone loses enough, subtly hiding the majority of the game from them

ugh just so many little details in the game design here are so perfect and well thought out, game changer is clearly such a labor of love

cuppydogshane

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

hyperlexichypatia

People in the notes are saying "You can!" referring just to the hospital visitation part, and sure (depending). But people should have access to ALL of the benefits of marriage without needing to be married.

You should be able to add anyone you want on your health insurance plan.

You should be able to sponsor the visa of anyone you choose to move to your home country.

You should be able to name anyone you choose as the legal-from-birth legal coparent of any child you give birth to.

You should be able to apply for student aid on your own at any age.

And yes, yes, ideally healthcare and college should be free, international migration should be unrestricted, and the entire concept of legal parenthood should be rewritten from the ground up. But right now we're talking about marriage benefits.

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angel-of-worry

When I was 16, I went to the doctor for widespread, full body pain. My doctor took one look at me and dismissed my medical concerns as a purely hormonal issue. According to her, my natural, unshaven legs were "abnormally hairy" for a girl my age. She ignored everything I had to say and referred me to a gynecologist.

Just hours later, I was hospitalized for my pain, which was now accompanied by a fever and a heart rate of 160 BPM. I was confused and disoriented, and every blood test pointed towards high levels of inflammation. The doctors, in their report, attributed my symptoms to sepsis.

That wasn't my first time experiencing transphobia in American healthcare hell, but it is by far the most obvious example. My doctor didn't care that I was in pain. She only cared that I, a nonbinary teenager with an F on their birth certificate, didn't meet her expectations of femininity.

This is why it pisses me off when people tell me I'm not really trans, or that I don't experience transphobia as a nonbinary person. I could have fucking died that day, purely because my doctor couldn't see past my nonbinary identity and gender expression.

what-even-is-thiss

Actually witches grow from the bottom of the cave up while wizards grow from the top of the cave down

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