𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐊𝐈𝐂𝐊

𝐣𝐨𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧.    𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬.    he could hear himself breathing in his own ear,   along with the colonel’s begging of him to speak more.    his body felt light,   being dragged along against the will of his legs.    in his heart the familiar feeling of doubt crawled into the crevices and whispered of a grave future.    joey had felt it before the mission began,   and again that feeling crept inside him once more.    he had no ebullient energy to share,   nor any jokes to tell.    suddenly,   eric’s voice came back to him,   like a memory he had almost forgotten,   

❛ hey… ❜ he said aloud,   though it came out well below the tone he usually held.    he could hardly hear himself.    ❛ your satellite was pretty awesome… heh… ❜ if the words had been left unfinished,   they would have came off as sarcastic,   though there was only a midget of his usual playfulness,   ❛ really… really… like,   look… ❜ joey wasn’t certain if eric would stop to take in the surroundings,   but from his body being carried through caverns and near the ruins of what seemed like an ancient temple,   joey could tell that it was an incredible find—perhaps not for the mission they set out for,   but he could imagine the awe on the faces of archeologists or historians who felt this temple had been lost into history.    joey wasn’t sure why his mind was straying so far,   even now as his eyes blurred in and out.    ❛ hey colonel….    am i gonna die?… am i dead? ❜

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐝𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲. 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫-𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 ( this world be his own undoing , he feared ) the air felt thin, or perhaps he was becoming a bit more exhausted in caring his own weigh along with anothers, nevertheless, he continued to move — should they come across an ally , then that would be time to discuss a well deserved break. a light chuckle slipping through as shaky breaths, though it fell flat, and no doubt was sarcasm — eric laughed, and it lightened the dark fear that continuously built inside him.

bold what applies, italic what sometimes applies and strike what never applies feel free to add on!   ❨ repost don’t reblog. ❩   from @/moonpiehelps

𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. being unable to stop smiling. laughter. bear hugs. happy tears. waving arms around. dancing. contently sighing. eyes twinkling. laugh lines. childlike playfulness. skipping. talking more. affection. cracking more jokes than usual. gesturing more when talking. higher pitched voice. squealing. jumping around. clapping.

𝐒𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. tearing up. self-hugging. one-arm cross. an aching chest. scratchy throat. a runny nose. turning away. deep breathes. quivery smiles. crying. infantile sobbing. hands gripping each other or an object. covering mouth. puffy eyes. eyes appear red. running makeup. voice breaking. a distant or empty stare. monotone voice. asking for comfort. faking a smile. crumbling. shaking. whimpering. depression. abusing an unhealthy habit. withdrawing from others. big teary eyes. doing something even if it could hurt them.

𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫. furrowed brows. baring teeth. passive-aggressive comments. avoiding eye contact. sarcasm. headache. sore muscles. hiding clenched fists. irritability. jumping to conclusions. raising voice. going silent. demanding immediate action. keeping it all in until exploding. body tensing. making risky decisions. middle finger.

𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐫. wanting to flee or hide. what-ifs. images of what-could-be flashing in mind. uncontrollable trembling. rapid breathing. screaming. a skewed sense of time. irritability. keeping silent. denying fear. turning away from the cause. pretending to be brave. nail-biting. lip-biting. scratching skin. a joking tone but a voice that cracks. fainting. insomnia. panic attacks. exhaustion. substance abuse. tics. rushing adrenaline.  face draining of colour. hair lifting on the back of the neck. feeling rooted to the spot. making body as small as possible. staring but not seeing. crying. a shrill voice. whispering. gripping something or someone. stuttering. flinching at noises. pleading.

𝐄𝐱𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. constantly yawning. blurring words together. dark circles or lines under eyes. mood swings. hallucinations. calling people by the wrong name. dizziness. denying their tired. slow blinking. trouble concentrating. stumbling. leaning on a doorframe for support. sluggish movements. falling asleep someplace that isn’t a bed. becoming irritated by the smallest things. “i’m awake, i’m fine.”. shaking so bad they spill their drink. fall asleep in their clothes. lay their head on the table because they’re so tired. passing out.

𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮, and should you find yourself unlucky enough you’ll sink into the pits of the earth and uncover secrets which weren’t meant for your eyes / 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬? 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 , 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐤. stalked by the ones who drink the blood of the lost. that noise, the repeated clicking . . . it replays in his mind, painfully driving him to the point of insanity. what a fool he had been, he’d let his ambitions lead him, hoping to achieve something unachievable, the world took its blows at him, and it seemed it wasn’t done ripping him apart — it took and took and took… until he was left with nothing, and this time… it went too far, taking his rachel.

memories of her flood his mind, her smile — her laugh, everything he could never have or hold again, her in whole gone. 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲. so no, he does not believe in god, because if such a person existed he would have saved her, out of everyone he could have saved. he would have saved her. he should have saved her. 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 , you should have never been here — it's far too late to back out now. so many lives were lost due to his mistake, and he has to live with this guilt ❨ should he survive the creatures that hunt him ❩ eyes burning with tears that streaked his face, red with anger and sadness. it is true: there are stages to grief, but he couldn’t pinpoint which stage he was out nor could he remember the first because his emotions flooded him all at once and the worst one was this inhumane feeling as though she deserved it, he hated himself for feeling this way.

he wanted to scream and curse her name , because she took choice away from him. she may as well have killed him when she set herself ablaze.𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 , how could he continue when there was so much he was regretting. he wished he could rewind time ; if these creatures could exist couldn’t he find a way to bring her back? rachel… rachel… it took him a moment to realize he was repeating her name out loud. his throat was raw and dry. he was rocking back and forth, trying to calm himself down. he hadn’t noticed the lieutenant standing above him. eyes shoot to look at him, there's an odd look in his eyes when they meet jasons; he can’t seem to keep contact and he can’t make sense of what he’s saying… he desperately attempts to steady himself. you are the colonel, he reminds himself

❛ lieutenant… im... not okay… ❜ he mutters. ❛ can you just, sit here for a while, with me. i’m having a hard time distinguishing what is real, and what’s not. ❜ it was hard to admit this but he needed to face reality before facing the creatures that were beyond this point, he couldn't risk his life or his teammate's lives.

i might take creative liberties because e.ric should have been so much more angry about what r.achel did to him….