ok we pull up

getting annoyed looks for loudly descending the stairs of a cafe in heeled boots. bitch tjose r my hooves

god forbid a girl clip clop

sorry jean is a stronger man than me. if neil josten pulled up to my sickbed with his boy toy and his boy toy’s boy toy (my ex situationship) and told me how all 5 foot 2 of him tricked a mob boss into saving all of our lives i might kill my self in front of him just to prove a point

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

one day, i hope to be moved from your downloads folder into somewhere more deliberate

im FREE! abt to eat a glorious bagel and then walk into the sea

salted bagel

sea. salt bagel

i salted

im FREE! abt to eat a glorious bagel and then walk into the sea

huh. really returning to my jewish roots w this one i guess

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

oh i’m sorry would you rather me beat an alive horse?

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

Dead wife but it's a flashback to an amazing sandwich you had 3 years ago