like chewing on tinfoil

If you're younger than 50 years there are termite queens who are older than you

happy pride to them

Never ever ever eat raw white onion and then smoke cigarette.

The gnomes beat the shit out of you again?

The gnomes beat the shit out of me again.

so awesome, so many !! so much wawa!!

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

you have IBS.

posts funnier with timestamps on

i was playing b52s at work and this old guy i was ringing up goes "this band was out to friggin lunch"

hired a galapagos finch at my burger joint and after 2 generations it evolved to take peoples orders

In early versions of The Lord of the Rings, Saruman was especially unwise to betray and destroy the forests, as all his wealth was held in Ent Credit Unions.