Dreißig Speichen

I remember when my dad died, I was watching rocket power. I was only six. I didn’t understand why my mom told me to turn off the TV. I felt frustrated by everything that was going on. My frustration came from the fact that I just wanted to be a kid. I didn’t want to feel sad or scared or lonely. I didn’t want to pretend that things would be okay. I just wanted to be okay. 

I’m now 20 and I still remember that very day. I remember the way the air felt – hot and sticky from the approaching summer. I remember the way my mom cried when she took my dad off life support. I try to remember because I think that it makes me stronger. I base a lot of who I am on who my dad was, so it’s necessary to remember.