dreams

So I copied and pasted this from a conversation I had with a friend about the dream i had on the night of halloween. I edited it as much as i could to make it less confusing (i was all over the place when i first relayed it to them) but its still a little sloppy. Kudos to anyone who reads this mess. Anyways here’s how it goes:

it starts out with this science teacher, right? and he had trapped a bunch of students (one of them being me, even though i’m no longer a student) he had us clustered in a sort of alcove in the outside wall of the school near the parking lot because he was mad (and I mean the frothing from the mouth kind of mad) about a chemical plant nearby the school that was creating a LOT of EXTREMELY harmful waste i think the fumes from the waste were really getting to him and the environment and the everyone else too?? like everything was really fucked up?? like there was a random bucket of blood and the waste was like, fucking with the fabric of space?? like the woodpaneling was like constantly, but slowly, contorting and glitching?? like into a small maze??? like at one point a large wooden plank appeared THROUGH ME and i was like “…well im stuck” but it was weird because it didnt actually go through me? like it didnt hurt me it was almost as if it was a hologram but it still had enough effect on me that i couldnt move for awhile until i was able to get myself out (i dont remember how i did this) and that maze was partially how he was keeping us trapped. if that maze wasnt there we easily could have just run off or something

ANYWAYS, basically everyone was freaking out and so i was trying to alleviate the situation by keeping some of the students calm and away from the teacher and then talking to and trying to calm the teacher myself and at one point i said something like “how about we try to fix it?” as in like, maybe we can talk to the manager or start a petition or something like that and he continued rambling for a moment with his fingers gripping his hair, but then what i had said finally hit him, like a delayed reaction i could almost see a light bulb go off above him when he pulled his head out of his hands and was like “thats it!!” and he just ran off somewhere behind this building so while he was gone i tried to maneuver the kids out of the the space and tried to hide the bucket of blood so they didnt freak out about it like i didnt move it or anything but i tried to maneuver them in a way so they didnt see it anyways… so i got some of the kids out until we heard the start of a menacing sounding engine and the clanking of a large metal machine and hissing rusted blades and gears

and so I turned around and so did half the group (the other half just kept running) and we saw this god awful distorted grass cutting machine like the ones they use for like a grass football field or like the side of a highway but the most terrifying part of it was the appearance of the teacher riding it

you could SEE just by looking at him how much he had snapped like his eyes were wide and his mouth was legit frothing like he looked like he had just run through the waste himself and had become rabid and you could see like his hair falling out and on his skin he had like a bunch of cancerous looking welts or spots on his skin or something he just looked awful scary really not to mention he was screaming it was like a screaming of terror and manic joy put together he just kept screaming “FIX THIS” FIX THIS FIX THIS FIX THIS FIX THIS over and over and he wasnt saying it like a command to other people he was like saying it to himself like “this is what i’m doing” like “IM FIXING THIS”

and there i was standing there still watching and i didnt see but i felt that the group behind me had disappeared and i dont know why and i dont know how perhaps they ran or maybe they fucking melted because of the overwhelming waste and the horror of the sight of the man on the machine and they were just gone and i was alone and frozen in fear and my mouth wide and i had this awful feeling like my open jaw was going to start melting down as i stared and as if my feet were already melted into the ground as i watched the screaming man happily drive himself without care in the world into an occupied football field and start running people over i mean, it wasn’t like the thing was fast? it was actually really slow but the people were all just paralyzed at the sight of the man and because of the waste like the first person he went for just toppled over when the machine touched him, as if he was made of some solid material the machine just carried on over him like a tank over a mound of dirt and the next person to go was “normal” and the machine shot out wads of gore and blood behind it.. and the next person just crumbled like a soft rock beneath the machine, but with a terrible noise that sounded human, but nothing like you have ever heard come out of someone’s mouth

and at the point my head was just overwhelmed i just couldn’t comprehend what was happening and when my head finally caught up with my eyes and he had finished pulverizing everyone in the field and I could see his menacing face looking straight at me and heading on his machine to the field of now distorted and rusting cars in which i stood i think a group of people who had managed to shake off their paralysis lead him there as they were trying to escape the horror some of them crumbled while running or slowly melted some even stopped so abruptly that it seemed impossible in their tracks that it seemed impossible, and their faces, previously distorted by fear, became startlingly emotionless, even as the machine approached and tore them to pieces and in the corner of my eye I could see that god awful chemical plant rising above the school where it was hardly visible before it was like it was getting bigger and the teacher just kept on screaming “FIX THIS” over and over and he was smiling crazily and i dont think he even remembered what it was thag he wanted to be fixed i think the waste had eaten away at his brain so much that that was all he knew now

and finally i ran and it seems silly, even nonsensical, but while I was running i became terrified by the idea that running was was all I knew, just like the man in the machine

November 2nd, 2015

this is a small sketch of part of one of my dreams last night a bunch of “trouble makers” were trapped in a concrete room and were forced to watch each other be punished

the punishments were terrible… and when we werent being punished we were forced to relive awful events from the past

its hard to describe but for example, we lived this one event where a bunch of girls were trapped in a locker room for many consecutive days

the locker room was severely unclean there were bugs crawling everywhere and mold growing down from the ceiling and everything was awfully damp and these bugs looked terrifying and disgusting, like giant white maggots and roaches and flesh eating beetles

and some of the trapped girls died because of the terrible conditions and we had to live with their rotting corpses and the mold and the bugs a couple other girls couldn’t deal with the horror and the trauma so they killed themselves and we all felt awful for it but we resented them because we had no where to put their corpses so we just left them where they were and it just made the situation so much worse

I remember the ear splitting shriek of a girl attempting to awaken her sleeping friend to find half her body covered in mold and insects crawling out of her open mouth and up the terrified girl’s arm

if there were regular lights she would have seen the girl was dead right away but all the lights had gone out except for a bunch of red emergency lights, making everything look so grotesque and gory… reminiscent of Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Mask of the Red Death” now that I think about it…

Last night my dream was about pigs. I had ten of them. Every night before bed I would water them. In this way, like sponges, they grew. In the morning I squeezed them to get fresh "milk"... or at least that's what I assumed it was. I made no hesitation of drinking it. 

At some point their appearance changed to guinea pigs, and then to rats, but my dream-self did not notice and continued to call them pigs. Since they had become so tiny and elusive I started keeping them in a cage. 

One day I decided to take the cage into a sunlit room (I did this because my room is very dark and they seem to like the warmth of the sunlight). So I picked up the cage and began walking it through the house to the sunlit room. 

I was peering between the bars of the cage, watching my happy pigs scurry about, when I, not looking where I was walking, tripped over something large and stiff. My outstretched hands lost their grip on the cage and the next thing I felt was my chin sharply hitting the hard wood floor. Painful as it was (even in a dream), it was nothing compared to the pain of watching as the wire cage crashed silently before me. After that there was nothing. No sound. No feeling. I think even the sun had stopped shinning, or it had at least stopped shining on everything except the scene around me. Even so, I felt so overwhelmed by something. It was as if an enormous pressure was being pushed against all my senses, blocking the passages for any other sensory data except for the path of my sorry eyes. 

I slowly turned my head behind me. I had tripped on a deathly looking black lab. He was bleeding from somewhere. I could tell this as he wobbled to his feet, for his whole coat was shining with his blood and there was a puddle where he had been lying. I turned back around and saw the broken and sorry looking cage. Most of the pigs were dead. The three that survived the fall were dragging themselves out from the wreckage, leaving behind them their home, seven carcasses, and a trail of blood. I could see their mouths open and their bodies stir as they mustered up enough air to squeal... or perhaps to squeak... I'll never know which, for every sound that was surely being emitted by the poor rat-pigs was being muted by that unseen force. 

The constant pressure inflicted upon the scene a feeling of sheer disaster. It felt nearly apocalyptic. And, from the corner of my eye, I saw the soft, almost angelic, steps of the old black dog. I turned to see his paused figure towering over me, yet still appearing hunched and decrepit. His gaze was fixed upon the mutilated animals. His steps continued and I watched as he lowered his wet nose down to the closest, still-living creature, and inhaled so deeply that there is no doubt it pulled the very soul from out of the body that now lay motionless before him.