βDifficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.β I see this picture in the bathroom of my fertility clinic and find it both odd and painfully cruel. You see, I donβt agree with it. I donβt think I needed to suffer in order to grow my family I donβt think there βwas a reasonβ I had to have a miscarriage. Why did I need to go through a pain so unimaginably hard and isolating.
I hate when people call me strong because I am not. I donβt want to be strong and I hate that I just need to keep pushing; pushing through heartache year after year. The road to growing my family has hardened me and there are some days I wish I could go back. Go back to the innocence and overall joy that came with thinking of what my family would look like one day.
How I wish I could go back and remember what it felt like to not have to go in for weekly appointments, bloodwork, all for a chance at having a family. This summer was suppose to be different but instead I will spent my third summer seeking fertility treatment. Life has been incredibly cruel to me lately and today I am struggling to find the glass half full.


















