i FEAR that they're gonna be leaking their first twitter DMs for this tour, & thats why they were checking instagram's DMs too. what else are they leaking
Claire Keane
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@dreamingalto
i FEAR that they're gonna be leaking their first twitter DMs for this tour, & thats why they were checking instagram's DMs too. what else are they leaking

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Story Time:
Working in retail is really fun, and the times when major fuck-ups happen, they can be either anxiety-attack inducing, or make it possible to get through the rest of your god-awful shift with a smile depending on the customer. My all-time favorite absolute fuck-up is as follows:
This kind woman is just doing her thing. She scans her membership card from her keychain. The register beeps to acknowledge the scan. We continue as usual. Neither of us notice right away, but after I’ve scanned a few more items, I hear a very quiet, “Um,” from the lady, very polite. I look at her. She is looking at the screen of my register, blinking. I, too, look.
And lo and behold. There is a charge of over four-thousand dollars ($4,000) worth of garlic bread staring us in the face. There are no words for a minute. We’re just… in awe. How did this happen? How the hell did this happen?
She didn’t even have garlic bread in her cart.
I sputter a partial apology - I was incapable of forming actual sentences in the moment - and try to void the garlic bread. Since there was no garlic bread to scan, I try to manually remove $4,000-some from this transaction.
Well, the registers don’t like it when you try to void off more than five dollars ($5) from a transaction, so naturally it pings my manager for confirmation, but she’s not by her pager.
At this point, both myself and the lady are just… dumbfounded. She’s not even mad. I’m not even all that embarrassed. Both of us are just looking at the screen. There’s a bit of laughter, but it’s mostly just… confusion.
I have to call through the whole store for my manager on the intercom because she’s not answering. She shows up, ready to override and void it, when she too, sees what exactly is being voided.
“What… did you do?”
“I genuinely. Have literally. No. Idea.”
She voids it, and I go to finish the transaction and tell the woman her total (minus the garlic bread). My register pings. It tells me that she hasn’t scanned her membership card. Odd. I distinctly remember her doing that. The woman goes to scan her card again, and I notice that her library card is stuck to her membership card. I tell her gently, and she separates the two and scans her card.
My manager, hovering nearby still, sees this and says, “I think it mistook the barcode of her other card for garlic bread, and the remaining digits were read as the price.”
And that’s when the laughter really came over us. There were no hard feelings at all. In fact, the woman was incredibly glad that the receipt still showed the garlic bread and the voiding of. I will remember it until the end of time, my only regret in the entire situation being that I didn’t take a damn picture, because she has proof and I don’t. But I swear to God it happened.
TDLR; Library Card Charged $4,000 of Garlic Bread.
that’s just how valuable library cards are. each one is worth at least $4000 of garlic bread
A picture is worth a thousand words, a library card is worth $4000 worth of garlic bread, if we can figure out how many words the average library card can check out at once, we can probably work out a picture-to-garlic bread conversion here, too.
💚 geen
You know I've been a fan of "Iris" since I was a little kid, but it didn't really sink in until now how hard those opening lines go. I'd forfeit eternal life to be with you; I was never making it to heaven anyway, so let me have the next closest thing.
What do you mean it was a movie about romance with angels???
you have to post bull shit online. to fulfill your amazing digital purpose

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look at them go
dan seeing phil's pj bottoms as a reflection of himself too if people see him in them + the reason being that he is his man
anyways (I say this as someone who is deeply critical of the united states government, military, unchecked capitalism, police, etc) I am SICK of people treating america as if it has no cultural value or positives so….. I love u 85 million acres (bigger than italy) of national parks. I love u harlem renaissance. I love u groundhogs day. I love u sweet tea and fried chicken and jambalaya. I love u apple cider donuts and maizes on crisp autumn days. I love u 95k miles of coastlines and new england fisherman and hand knitted sweaters. I love u halloween where millions of people dress up and give candy to strangers and carve jack o’lanterns. I love u small talk and small towns and potlucks and bringing over casseroles to your struggling neighbors. I love u cowboys and ranch hands and arizonian cactus. I love u appalachian trail and dirtbikes and divebars. I love u sparklers and fireflies. I love u mark twain and toni morrison and emily dickinson and henry david thoreau. I love u rock n roll i love u bluegrass and hippies i love u jimi hendrix and nirvana and CCR and janis joplin. I love u victorian houses and jonny appleseed and john henry and mothman and bigfoot. I love u foggy days in the pacific northwest and neon signs and roadside attractions. I love u baseball and 1950s diners and soft serve. I love u native american art and pop art and poptarts. I love u blue jeans and barbecues and jazz musicians
and then they actually filmed a q&a #networking
“i have a video, phil is not on fire, of us KISSING”
my favourite thing about phil sharing the pinof kiss with dan through youtube is their wanking material having a view counter

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thanks for walking me home
i saw someone else make a post about this a couple days ago but the fact that the moment dess became the most likely knight candidate the world became flooded with jokes about how the knight is super incompetent and constantly getting killed or if its not that its insisting random male characters (sometimes literally just made up ones) are the knight instead in varying degrees of earnest. Okay. Not incredibly subtle
they're 100% committed
So, this is from phil is not on fire (the first) Pay attention to the pillow (sorry about the lion in the way) in the first shot. It’s laying on the bed. And look at Phil and Dan’s noses, how black the marker is. Then in the next shot, the pillow is standing up and both of their noses are heavily missing marker. Can you say “Phan”?
Also, this video was literally filmed ONE DAY after they met irl and that just makes it so much more precious to me.
date of origin: june 1st, 2015
I think a fandom becomes more interesting when people are allowed to explore uncomfortable ideas instead of pretending they don't exist

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courtesy of my boyfriend
Who knew a flower could dream