☁️ delulu is my solulu ☁️

gifts.

most think aventurine would overdo it with the gifts. and they're only partially correct. in the first steps of the relationship, it's a barrage of gifts. he's scared of losing you already, okay? he doesn't want you gone, but the shallower parts of his psyche believes that he wishes you were brave enough to leave him. (you won't. you love him, and he loves you. but he's never felt like this before. for anyone.)

slowly, he lessens the gifts as he grows more comfortable with your long-term presence in his life. he learns that he should find things more heartfelt and sincere – two very scary things to even entertain the idea of. for him, anyway. it's an agonizing process.

he grows as he learns, though. he mentally notes what you prefer and enjoy the most, using those as his targets. but he still tries to add a bit of personal flair to it. it turns out really "stupid" looking sometimes. you don't care about how "bad" it is, you love it – you love him – all the same.

physical touch.

aventurine, at first, hates the touching part of a romantic relationship. but he's also never gotten too far in any genuine, heartfelt romance, either. it was always...for business. (it wasn't for him. never him.) he prickles at the mere idea of holding hands, so it doesn't happen much for a long time. he didn't dare think of other things. (he would anyway. they were his secret daydreams during slow hours of a workday.)

deep down, though, he craves nothing more than your touch. your hugs, your hands, your lips, your heartbeat, your very life. he doesn't want anyone else to touch him. only you. you are so terribly gentle with him and respectful of his (much needed) boundaries after a life of rough hands and violations.

and touching you reminds him that you are here, you're alive, and not just an old memory.

quality time.

aventurine truly cherishes quality time, but it does come as a later revelation in the relationship. at first, he can be very cold, even outright aloof – on purpose, no less. as much as it pains you, he's still working through it. on his own. you have to regularly remind him that you're here, that you're still around for many reasons. not just because you like him more than most people – or so you say.

for him, it's much like physical touch. but, instead of his boundaries having been violated for so much of his life, he's emotionally hyper-independent. he likes to say he's "the right amount" of independent, but it's obviously so much more than ideal.

but, when he comes to open himself up to, to even trust you a little more than before (it's more than "a little". don't tell him that, though), he's all over you. he always wants to spend time with you, to keep you as close as possible. it becomes a little suffocating, but that too will ease once he's more sure of himself and his personhood.

words of affirmation.

one would think that aventurine has mastered this. but it's oh-so shallow. he tells you what he believes you want to hear. yet he couldn't be more wrong. what you truly want to hear is the honesty in his heart, even though he's not quite sure what that is for a while. it takes so much thinking and self-exploration – a dangerous combination for him, even if it's all he does at night in bed. (he wishes he was better at this.)

it ends up being you who gives him these words – honest praise, appreciation, and love. (the last one is by far the scariest, of course.) when he tries to return it, he uncharacteristically fumbles and trips over his words, which immediately makes him think he's doing it wrong – or worse – that he's somehow offending you. (his honesty is the highest form of flattery in your eyes.)

Iғ ᴏɴʟʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ @hirasasya