Ands

being 25 is like: im dying. im living my best life. im a failure. my life hasnt started. everything interesting has already happened to me. im achieving my dreams. im cutting my hair with kitchen scissors. im starting a skincare routine. im a corporate professional. im a sellout. im out of groceries. i have too many groceries. i am never going to be successful. i am going to win a hugo award before im 30. im crazy. im boring. i need to finish this essay. i need to finish this story. i need to start a newsletter. i need to start tweeting more. i need to stop tweeting. i need to ghost all my friends. i need to tell my friends i love them. i need to find a new apartment. i need to take out the trash. i am the trash that needs to be taken out. 

aaaand my past is right behind me isnt it

*thinking about the moments i can never return to* Well that just happened :/

"this movie doesn't hold up bcos of dated special effects :(" to you, maybe. i would clap at a bat on a string

*the fattest fucking sigh from the depths of my soul*

no rizz i’ll just send you telepathic messages and hope you receive them

Sir, that’s my emotional support unrealistic romantic delusion

Every episode of Supernatural they ask, "How will we defeat this new and unique monster?" and the answer is "shoot them with guns," mostly.

john krasinski not being in romcoms is the biggest rob of the century

like the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear

so hard to beat the “annoying” allegations when you’re annoying

oh thanks for the compliment unfortunately i don’t believe you

David Wallace after Dunder Mifflin got bought by Sabre is all of us in quarantine