Hello

Its been a strange day.

Like  i wrote a message to a dead girl strange.

Today though it feels like the walls are caving in, I feel so unprepared, and foolish. Everyone keeps asking what we need for the baby, but in all honesty Kody and I only have a vague idea. Everytime we try to look at things all we hear is don’t worry about it t’ll be taken care. But how can we not worry about it? Its my fucking baby what do you mean don’t worry about it? Don’t get me wrong I am so greatfull for all the help we are being offered and given but can I please please have some involvement? Can I decide if we want pink bands for the fucking baby bottles? Yes we are having a baby girl, but that doesn't mean she has to have pink forced on her. No one has asked how I feel about anything for her. Oh you have a bunch of great bottles for her, how do I know they are great? Can you please tell me why they are so great? Are they made of plastic? or Glass? Have you checked to see what type of plastic they are made out of? Because it fucking matters. Is it even a good idea for us to use bottles that have been pre-owned? Like have they become worn down and over use? Have they been in the microwave? Because I’m not comfortable with plastic bottles that have been in the microwave. 

Further more please don’t replace blue bands with only pink ones. I don’t want my child thinking pink means girl and blue means boy, because quite frankfully thats not the way it works dammit! I have a nephew who loved pink when he was about four and the entire family was very careful about not making a big deal about it. Why? Because pink is a fucking color and it didn’t matter! I remember hearing someone say well its not like it means hes going to be gay and if he is oh well. Exactly oh fucking well. Because he is four and likes pink well you know what he spent all his time with his mom whose favorite color was probably pink and guess what his dad played with my little ponies growing up because he had a sister and they were each others primary playmates. Not gay, not scared, not struggling with gender confusion. His life was not ruined by playing with fucking ponies with our big sister and his sons life will not be ruined by liking pink and other “girl” things. Just like my Mia will not be harmed with having other colors surrounding her rather than just pink.