tw | ed ACTIVE JULY 2023

hung out with my bf on monday and he made me have a “cheat day” and then hung out with my best friend yesterday and she also made me have a “cheat day” bc i’m “so hard on myself” and “deserve just one day” when ik they just wanted me to eat with them so they didn’t feel fat eating alone. annoyed because i have a goal i’m trying to hit but i didn’t eat enough to gain anything i only maintained. so today i’m back on track and not doing that shit again because fuck i feel so guilty. going to therapy, then the gym and then going on a walk after lunch

i don’t mind restriction but ISTFGGG THE CONSTIPATION THAT COMES WITH IT IS UNREAL I HATE IT

doing shrooms with bf today so excited!! i completely lose my appetite on mushrooms so i won’t have to worry ab binging thank god and i can still be fucked up ^___^

ok i’m gonna try and see if upping my intake for a day or two? will make it easier to drop the weight again bc that’s what it seems like others do when their metabolism gets fucky. i’m going to have 1200 or a little less which i do not want to do but i don’t know what else to do so we’ll see if this helps

bruh i think i already hit a plateau after dropping 6 lbs last week im literally gonna cry. idek what to do do i raise my intake?? or lower it? do i fast? like wtf ik maintaining is better than gaining but i have a certain weight i want to hit by the end of august and i’m only 11 lbs away i need help pls somebody

i ended up not getting an apple watch bc i decided i wanted to dye my hair instead :P mom said she’d give me her fitbit tho so idrc

thinking about getting more lip piercings so i have more excuses not to eat..

moms buying me an apple watch tomorrow so i can finally keep track of every single step i take and shit. so excited :]

this restriction constipation beating my ass right now